Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Alder
The doorbell rang. The cabinet guy was here.
When I answered the door, I blinked. “I know you.”
He grinned, a shit-eating grin that almost reminded me of Jasper, except this guy had dirty-blond hair cropped close to his head, scruff lining his face, and despite the negative wind chill outside, he wore no coat, only a long-sleeved shirt.
Daisy would be home soon. Would she sneak glances at the way his muscles bulged in his sleeves like she had been doing to me? I’d caught her checking out my ass, then last night when I’d been shirtless, she’d had to peel her attention off my chest.
I did not mind.
The guy snapped his fingers. “Duke. Poppy and Clover your sisters?”
“Two of the four.”
He stuck his hand out. “Jensen Hollis. I went to school with them. Well, with Poppy. You get one, you get the other.”
I gave his hand a firm shake, then stepped back and ushered him in. The house didn’t have a nice front entry. The door opened right into the living room. When I had lived here, we’d kept the garage door open and ran through it at all times of the day.
He adjusted the brim of his ball cap that read “Hollis Cabinetry” and looked around. “This is one of those houses I’ve driven by a million times in my life but never saw the inside of.”
“I bet you get to do a lot of that now in your line of work.”
He flashed a grin. “Lots of old houses needing upgrades. I didn’t realize this one was still in your family.”
I led him to the kitchen. “My grandparents bought it when we moved and rented it out. They seemed to have a thing for collecting properties.”
“I would, too, if I had the money. I just give them facelifts before people sell.”
“Well, I have no plans to sell.” I was finally where I was supposed to be. I just hoped it’d stay like this.
“You’re back in town?”
“I got a position at the refinery. It took a while to get back to Coal Haven, but here I am.” With Daisy and hoping like hell it would be for more than a year.
“Nice.” From his shirt pocket, he tugged out a small notebook and a pen. He clicked it open. “Many of my customers worry about what’s trendy and what’s going to sell the house for the most money. You get to choose what you want. Counters and cabinets, correct?”
“That’s the plan. Replace it all.” What would Daisy want though? Did she think a butcher block section in the counter was necessary? Would she like granite or consider it too high maintenance? She hadn’t commented on the stain I was using in the house. Did she like the darker finish, or would she prefer a shade closer to cedar? Hickory?
I had wanted to ask her, but I had lost the nerve. Nor had she offered any insight. To her, this house was mine, and it was too soon to hope it could be ours. I had her rules to follow. “My wife isn’t home yet, but she won’t mind if we get started.”
My wife. That felt way too fucking good to say.
After Jensen reviewed exactly what we were replacing and inquired about any changes to the layout, he’d run out to his truck and brought in a bin. We were at the island, paging through a binder of the styles of cabinetry he offered, when cool air from the garage floated in.
Daisy glanced from me to Jensen as she entered the kitchen. “Hello.”
“Hey.” Jensen rearranged some of his wood color and types of samples. “You’re just in time. I have a variety for you both to select from.”
Her gaze swung back to me, eyes wider than before. She hadn’t been prepared to pretend to be a real couple in front of Jensen, but at the moment, I was filled with gratitude we hadn’t discussed it. I liked getting under that calm armor any way I could.
“I haven’t made any decisions yet,” I said to her. “I figured you’d be home soon… babe .”
Shock flared her face, but then she settled on a consternated expression. “No problem, sugar lips .” I made a choking sound. Her smile was saccharine as she crossed to me. “Thanks for stalling.”
Since I was supposed to be a man in love with his wife, I drank her in as she approached, uncaring if she noticed. She’d worn jeans like usual. She’d said once that they were durable, and while they weren’t the cheapest clothing to destroy, at least they were versatile. Unlike the other labs she’d worked in as a med tech, chemists didn’t wear scrubs.
She came around the island. I banded an arm around her waist and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, wishing I could do this when we were alone. “How was work?”
Her look shot daggers at me. “Good, but then I’m married to the boss.”
Fuck yeah, she was.
“Oh, hey,” Jensen said, either oblivious to our weird tension or uncaring of it. “You’re the new CEO at the refinery?”
I kept my arm anchored around her. She was tucked into my side. Right where she fucking belonged. “Guilty.”
“Gonna work out there for decades like Cameron Barron did?”
“That’s the plan.” Daisy went even more taut against me. She didn’t like the idea that I’d be around Coal Haven forever? My heart would twist, but my body was too damn happy to have her pressed against me again. Too long had gone by since last time. I finally released her and tapped my index finger on one of the wood samples. “What do you think, Daze? I like the knotty alder myself.”
“Are all Alders knotty or just these?” she asked in a voice full of innocence.
I pushed the three alder samples in front of her. “Run your hand over them and see,” I said with a low purr, my back to Jensen.
She ignored me and studied the samples, but a blush painted her cheeks. “I like the knotty alder, but it looks like gunshots in the wood.”
“I’ve heard that from others,” Jensen agreed. “Some people like the look, others worry the holes will wear and get bigger, but I haven’t seen that happen yet.”
She ran a finger down one of the blocks with the darker stain. My blood would reroute and make this consultation embarrassing if I watched her stroke the wood.
“I like this grain and the color. With a lighter countertop, I think it’ll look sophisticated and not too dark.” She snapped her hand back and looked at me. “But the final decision is yours.”
It was, and I fucking hated the reminder. This house was supposed to be ours . “Let’s do countertops next.”
Her eyes glazed over with the countertop samples Jensen spread before her. He had samples of material and small cards with different marbled patterns.
“There’s always laminate,” he said. “Looks expensive but can take a beating.”
“What do you think?” I could choose, but I’d rather have her insight. If I couldn’t win her back at the end of the year, and if she didn’t rent from me, then I could torture myself in this house that would have her touch everywhere.
She shrugged. “You know I’m more practical than anything. Whatever’s durable and easy to clean and goes with the cabinets.”
I tapped on laminate with the earth tones swirling through it in a cream color. “Let’s do this.”
“Got it.” Jensen jotted down notes. “All I need to do is take some measurements, and I can put the order in.”
Daisy disappeared from the kitchen while Jensen finished up.
Just as he was driving away, my phone buzzed. I had a message from Lily.
Lily: What are you doing for Christmas Eve?
Since our parents weren’t making the trip from Billings until the New Year, that left me with a holiday to finish up projects around the house before I started my new job. Daisy hadn’t mentioned her plans or whether she was going to visit her mom.
Alder: I’ll be finishing some renovations.
Lily: Come over. All of you.
Alder: Laila will be with her dad.
Lily: Then make sure Daisy comes.
I’d give it a try. After years of quiet family holidays because my siblings and I had scattered away from Billings, I was getting spoiled by the larger get-togethers we’d had in the last couple of years. Now Violet was in town. Jasper wasn’t far away. Poppy and Clover may or may not make the trip to Billings, but I doubt they’d come all the way to Coal Haven.
Alder: I’ll let you know what she says.
I tucked my phone away. Christmas with Daisy was probably too much to hope for. She likely had plans with her mom. Most certainly she didn’t plan to spend the day with me. Yet those damn hopes of mine wouldn’t listen. She might want to spend the day with Lily and Eliot.
Daisy had retreated to her bedroom. It was just us in the house. Would she come out? I hadn’t prepared a dinner. Had she eaten already?
“Daze?” I waited at the end of the hallway.
She popped her head out of her room. “Is he gone?”
“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Want to grab a bite to eat?”
She cocked her head like she didn’t hear me. “Like, out?”
I nodded.
“Why?”
I’d asked just because, but that one word caused all kinds of defensiveness to rise. “Because we’re supposed to be married and married people go out to eat.” She didn’t respond. I let out a heavy sigh. All my offer was supposed to be was just that. A break from cooking and a break from eating in. “Don’t friends go out to eat sometimes too?”
Her expression softened. She opened the door farther and stepped out. She was in fluffy pajama pants and a long T-shirt, the clothing she usually changed into once Laila was in bed. I loved her in every outfit I’d seen her in, but I’d missed this Daisy.
She flopped her arms out. “I’d have to change.”
Ah. I recognized this resistance. I smirked. “The clothing or your mental status?”
“The clothing is easier to change.” She tapped her forehead. “I’m in relaxation mode.”
If I couldn’t take her out, would she allow me to eat with her while staying in? “How ’bout I pick something up? What do you want? My treat.”
“You don’t have to do that. I can have toast or something.”
Her something would be nothing if she didn’t have toast. “I’m going to Rattler’s anyway. Do you want a steak? Or some sort of chicken? Pasta?” She’d want a steak, medium, with sweet potatoes, cinnamon butter on the side, and steak fries. If she didn’t, then I didn’t know this woman anymore. A dull throb started behind my sternum waiting on her answer.
If she wouldn’t let me pick up food for her, then this reconnection would be a longer uphill battle than I prepared for.
She folded her arms across her chest, the ends of her sleeves tucked tightly in her hands. She shifted her stance, indecision playing across her face. “I…guess I can take a steak. Medium. With a sweet potato, cinnamon butter on the side, and steak fries.”
My grin spread wide with my relief. She had eaten the same damn thing at Rattler’s since the day it had opened. “Anything to drink?” Lemonade.
“Um… No. Water is fine.”
I couldn’t win them all. “Should I get anything for Laila?”
“No. Her aunt Katie will be spoiling her.”
I tipped my head toward the TV. “Get comfy. I’ll be back soon.”
Daisy’s stockinged feet were kicked up on the coffee table. Once again, we were hanging out, watching TV, and eating food. This time, it wasn’t gas station pizza and my siblings weren’t running wild through the house.
I’d been able to sell my home in Billings without a second thought. This place meant a lot to me. The woman next to me meant even more.
I’d abided by her rules. I was being good. Only a few weeks had passed, but she was still avoiding me. That wouldn’t do at all. I’d never win her back as a wife. I’d have to get her to open up, like I had the first time.
You like horses?
One question all those years ago had been the beginning of what should’ve been a lifetime together. My entitlement and immaturity had ruined it. However, my memory of Daisy was pristine. When she talked about something she was passionate about, she forgot about her walls and her self-consciousness.
What could I ask her about that she was invested in but wouldn’t touch on issues we were avoiding?
Her job. But first, I had to ask about Christmas. There would be no good time, but she was relaxed, and Laila was still out with her aunt. “Lily got a hold of me. About Christmas Eve.”
She cut through her steak. “That’ll be nice.”
“It’s Christmas, and, uh, married couples are usually together. She invited all of us, but I told her Laila would be gone.”
She paused mid-saw. “Oh.”
I didn’t want her to write the whole holiday with me off. “I can make up an excuse. Mom and Dad won’t be here until after. Even if Aunt Linda decides to show, I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“You can’t help it, and that is my part of the bargain.” She cut the rest of her meat and pushed it around with her fork. “We can’t ask Lily or Violet or their spouses to lie if they’re asked if we were both there.”
“And you know they’ll ask. Mom’s trying to play it cool, but she’s dying to see for herself that we’re married again.”
Stress tightened her brow. Was she wondering how it’d be next year? Telling everyone we were divorcing? We’d be doing that if I couldn’t fix what I had broken.
“It should be no problem. Just any other meal with friends.” Her movements were more stilted while elation coursed through me. I was getting closer to my goal. Now it was time to take her mind off it, or she’d be worrying the whole night.
“Tell me about Dr. Adarsh.” I hadn’t met her boss yet, but I would soon enough.
She screwed her face up for a moment, then laughed. “You mean Raj? I don’t know what he’d do if you called him Dr. Adarsh.” She poked her cinnamon butter into her sweet potato. “He earned it though, but he’s more about the chemistry than the status, and he’s the best boss I’ve ever had.”
“Yeah?” I relaxed into her tone. I wouldn’t have to prompt her to keep talking.
“Most definitely. Take his PhD. I think he doesn’t like being addressed formally because it takes away from the work we’re doing. His ego doesn’t need it. So, like, when it came to Violet, he didn’t get all worked up over her maternity leave. He wanted her because he could tell she loves chemistry and wants to do a good job. Other bosses would have used it as a reason not to hire her, whether it’s illegal or not.”
I filed that information away. I was in charge, but I was a few levels removed from direct oversight over the lab. Yet I wanted to make sure we kept the good employees.
“I had this one boss,” she said around a mouthful, then swallowed. “She had a PhD too. And I respect that, right? Those are a lot of work. But she was the lab director, and it wasn’t a science-based PhD. Yet she whipped out the doctor label so often, it became an inside joke.” Daisy glanced at me, her lips quirked. “Only with some of us.”
This was the fire I loved in her. Daisy was mellow until she thought something was unfair. “You’re a shit-stirrer.”
“I believe her eval said I often failed to display a respectful attitude.”
“She did not ding you about using her title?” I asked, incredulous, and furious on her behalf.
“Supposedly not.” She stabbed at a steak fry. “You know, she got the director position over my supervisor? They both have the same master’s degree in clinical lab science, and my supervisor had been doing the job for months before they hired her. Because”—she threw up air quotes—“she was so impressive with her PhD. Then I learned it’s in history or something.”
“No kidding. Was she a good director?”
“Alice—my old supervisor—was a good leader, and the lab ran well under her.” Daisy put her plate down and faced me on the couch, curling her legs under her. “And don’t get me wrong, Doctor Simmons is too, but she was never there. We’d be in the middle of an outbreak, and she’d be working from home. She did half the work of my old supervisor, yet if the hospital administrators arrived—there she was, addressing herself as Doctor Simmons. If she had put half that effort into clear communication about the issues we were dealing with, morale would’ve been a lot higher. But she’s cute and smiles a lot. You know how that goes over?” She rolled her eyes. “Yet everyone thought I was petty when I commented on it.”
Daisy saw through bullshit, and people hated her for it. I could see now I had resented her at the time. It was why I’d planted my hooves in the mud like a stubborn mule. I hadn’t wanted to finish growing up. “It was disingenuous of her.”
She flung an arm out. “Right? She was intentionally trying to mislead people. She knew full well people would think she was an MD or that her PhD was in microbiology, or at the very least, a science field, and they gave her more credit because of it.”
“Which she then used to discredit others.” Daisy would hate the lack of transparency. I still knew her so damn well.
Her hair flew as she vigorously nodded. “Exactly! It’s manipulative. I don’t know how many times I’d point out something, people would argue with me, but when she said it, and ‘oh, doctor knows best.’” She slumped against the back of the couch looking vindicated that someone understood. “Thankfully, I got hired on at the refinery, or I probably would’ve gotten fired for some BS reason and no one would’ve questioned Doctor Simmons.”
Daisy was right. She would’ve eventually lost her job. I used to think she should just stay quiet and protect her employment. Then I had started managing people. “For what it’s worth, I relied on employees like you.”
She snorted. “The ones who point out the weaknesses in the process and everyone hates them for it?”
“Yeah. The ones who respect my authority but talk to me like we’re equals because we work for the same company and want it to succeed.”
“You don’t need your ego stroked?” She said it lightly, but the heaviness of her work history simmered in her eyes.
“Maybe at one time I did. But after the divorce, I had to piece myself back together, and I guess after that, people’s superficial words were easier to see through.”
A stricken expression passed over her face. “Our divorce made you a better boss?”
It made me a better man. “It made me get my shit together to be a boss. The further up the ladder I rose, the more I noticed the…what did you call them? The ‘I like your sweater’ people?”
Her lips twitched. “I still call them that, but there aren’t many in the lab. Raj hires people who are too nerdy to care about kissing ass.”
I laughed. I wasn’t nerdy, and I didn’t care about kissing ass. “If someone is too gushing, I can’t trust what they say. They’re trying to appeal to me and not to the company’s welfare.”
“You just described my entire experience working for the doctor. Scientists tend to like a lot of validation, and that can be why they make horrible managers.” She lifted a shoulder. “I guess that’s people in general. We all want validation, but there are some people who will take it at the expense of others, and I could never stay quiet if I saw that, especially if they were in a leadership position. Because then not only were they trying to invalidate someone’s work and intelligence, but they were using their authority to do it.”
“I’m sorry it was so hard for you.” Did she have someone who listened to her when she’d come home miserable and beaten down? “I’m glad the refinery is a good fit for you.”
“Not gonna lie, I live in fear Raj is going to leave. Or that he’ll hire someone exactly like who I’ve tried to get away from. I need this job.”
I wasn’t above using my position to make sure her work environment didn’t change. “Not many lab positions in rural North Dakota.”
“You’re telling me.” She stuffed a fry in her mouth and chewed. “I cannot afford to move or get paid less.”
Alarm bells rang inside me. Her worry over finding a place to live had been income-based. “I know it’s not my business, but Jason helps, right? With child support?” She hadn’t answered directly before.
“Yeah, but it’s for Laila, and I make sure it stays for her.”
I worked my jaw back and forth. There was something she wasn’t saying. Tonight, I’d made progress, but our lives were still separate. “Other than housing, is there anything I can help with?”
Her gaze shuttered. “No, it’s fine.” She picked up her to-go container, shoved another fry into her mouth, and grabbed my empty to-go box off the coffee table.
Now she was avoiding the topic. Frustrated and a little hurt, I picked up my lemonade glass and followed her. She’d drunk half of what I had ordered.
In the kitchen, she was stuffing our containers in the trash, bent over with her ass toward me. Goddamn, that view was another one of my favorites. The clouds on her pajama pants sat on each cheek, inviting me to feel how soft they were.
She straightened, closing the trash drawer, and I yanked my attention to her face before she turned around. The distant look in her eyes washed out the desire. If she talked to me, I could help.
“Everything’s not fine,” I said.
She let out a long breath and swiped the back of her hand across her forehead. “It is. Either way, it’s not your business.”
“You’re my business.”
She propped her hands on her hips, that damn militant expression making her lower lip puff out. “No, Alder. I’m not.”
We used to tell each other everything. When I’d behaved like an entitled dick during our marriage, she’d called me on it each and every time. Since we’d been together again, she’d even talked to me about Jason. But she wasn’t telling me what was bothering her now.
I closed in on her at the counter. “You’re my wife?—”
“In name only.”
“—and we live in the same house?—”
“For a year.”
“—so like it or not, you and your kid are my responsibility.” I was towering over her. She had her chin lifted defiantly, anger flashing in the blue of her eyes. “I care about you.”
She went rigid. “You don’t need to.”
“I never stopped.”
“Alder.” Her voice came out a whisper.
“It’s true, Daisy.” My gaze dropped to her puffy lips. She’d taste sweet right now from the lemonade and cinnamon butter. A little salty from the fries. She’d be even better than my surf and turf. Richer. Full bodied. Delectable. “I never stopped regretting how I failed you.”
Her gaze dropped from mine. “You seem to have recovered well.”
“I didn’t do this for me.”
A shiver went through her, but then she stiffened and deliberately lifted her attention to meet mine square on. “Did you do it for Sophia?” I jerked at the name. “Claudia? Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “Or was it Becca?”
Each name should’ve been a splash of ice-cold water, but instead, a smug satisfaction filled me. “You kept track of me, Daze?”
“No.” A flush painted her cheeks. “I didn’t have to. Old friends and acquaintances loved sharing pictures of you with the woman-of-the-month on their social media.”
I used to get tagged a lot by my dates until I finally quit social media altogether. But I hadn’t shut down my accounts. How else would I spy on Daisy? To know she’d done the same? Satisfying. But I didn’t like that she’d been hurt by the images she saw. “All those women were really attracted to my big…thick”—I dropped my head until my mouth was close to her ear—“wallet.”
She sputtered. I let out a low chuckle, but I didn’t move away.
She tipped her face toward mine, our lips inches apart. “You’re just as incorrigible as you always were.”
Much of the time, I was agreeable as fuck. Only one woman could call me on my shit. “Only around you, Daze.”
I lowered my mouth to hers. The shock of energy when our mouths touched made her jolt and shot through me so strong I had to hold on to her or I’d rear back, and there was no way I’d ruin this moment. This kiss wasn’t for show, and I’d waited too damn long for another chance.
She fisted a hand in my flannel shirt and a small whimper left her. I swallowed the sound and licked along her lips, seeking permission to take the kiss further. She opened with a small gasp like my tongue was the key and she’d been waiting an eternity for me to come along.
I’m right there with you, darling.
I curled a hand around the back of her head and sank into her while holding her still, mine for the taking. She wound both of her arms around my neck, and she rose to her tiptoes. I was bent over her and she was reaching up for me. An embrace that came as naturally to us as breathing. We were like two statues that had been pried apart but were finally fitting back together, just like we should’ve been all along.
She tasted sweet and salty and so damn familiar my chest ached. I’d missed this. I’d missed her. I pulled her impossibly closer to me, one hand stuffed into her hair and the other gripping her lush ass.
The doorbell rang.
She made a strangled noise and pushed away from me. Dazed, I blinked, the sudden loss hardening in my arteries like sharp icicles.
A little girl’s voice drifted in from outside the front door. Laila had returned. The sound of her dad’s voice responded. He must’ve met his sister and daughter after his shift.
Daisy scooted to the side, breaking my hold on her, and put her hand on her forehead. “Jesus.” My mind was nearly back online when she spun and poked my chest with a finger. “Put one more rule down. No kissing between roommates.”
Faint pounding resounded from the door, and she stormed out of the kitchen.
I continued to blink. Had I fucked up?
That kiss had been the final meal for a condemned man. Water on day nine in the desert. A lifeline when I’d been at the bottom of an empty canyon for years.
And she’d kissed me back like she felt the same.
No, Daisy. I would not be adding that rule.
Daisy
That kiss was… It was just… Uncalled for.
I couldn’t summon the heat of anger. By the time I opened the door, I barely had my breathing under control, and my cheeks were still flaming hot.
“Mommy!” Laila rushed into my arms.
Grinning, I hugged her back. I’d missed her, but I wouldn’t tell her that and dim her excitement about being with her dad. “Hey. Did you two have fun?”
“Yes! We made cookies.” She went back to stand with Jason.
Jason winced. “They didn’t turn out well. I had to put in an SOS with Mom and ask why they got so flat.”
“The butter,” Laila declared, scandalized.
“The butter,” Jason agreed.
He’d never baked when we were together. Hadn’t cooked more than hot dogs. He would’ve if I had kept on him, but my will had been lacking. I’d been down that road. But Jason was stepping up for his daughter. I might’ve picked a guy who didn’t fit me, but I was grateful I’d picked someone who was a good parent.
“I’m sure they taste fine.” I glanced behind me. Alder hadn’t popped into the living room. He was either giving us space, or getting the erection I’d felt prodding against me under control.
What had I done by letting him kiss me? I hadn’t been able to move away. I’d wanted it.
A real kiss from Alder Duke? With no witnesses so I could just let go? No, I hadn’t been able to walk away from that.
And unfortunately, all the kiss had done was show me that I’d done the right thing with Jason. I’d known, but the irrefutable proof was in the flush that was slow to leave my cheeks.
Jason handed Laila her backpack, then crouched to give her a hug. “Go on in. I’ll see you next time and we’ll get those cookies right.”
“Love you, Daddy.”
My heart melted. I’d given her the father figure I had missed growing up. A present man. She’d even have a doting stepfather if she let Alder in.
She crossed to my side and held my hand.
“Thanks, Jason.”
His smile wasn’t as sad as usual, but he scanned the room behind me, as if he was looking for Alder. Relief tinged his eyes. “See you girls later.”
When he walked down the front steps, I let out a quiet sigh. The kiss might’ve reinforced the decision I’d made with Jason, but it’d created the question of whether I’d done the wrong thing getting married again.