Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Daisy
My first sense of awareness was the deep, rhythmic breathing against my cheek. The second thing that registered was the darkness. Then that my alarm hadn’t gone off yet.
These moments were my favorite. The quiet time before the chaos of the day. When we could just be, and I didn’t have to worry about whether he’d listen to me today. I wasn’t wondering where he was or who he was with. I could pretend nothing had changed once we’d said I do.
I nuzzled against the hot body and inhaled a shirt. When did Alder sleep in anything more than boxers?
I snuggled closer. More awareness sunk in. My alarm would go off soon. Damn eight o’clock labs. Tucking my hands between Alder’s torso and the blankets, I banked as much of his heat as I could until I had to drive to Bismarck in the frigid wee hours of the morning?—
Wait. I had a job.
I woke a little more. I had a husband, but not like this. We didn’t sleep together. We didn’t sleep in the same bed.
Agitation sped my heart rate up. So much for the last few minutes of peaceful slumber. Slowly I rolled away, turning as I went to put my back to the man I should not be cuddling with. Thankfully, he hadn’t woken up.
Inhaling and exhaling, I willed my pulse to slow down. That annoying throb between my legs could go away too. I would not remember the lazy weekend mornings having sex. Those long nights when he’d try to break his record of giving me orgasms.
That was not helping the growing desire. My body knew damn well I was in bed with Alder Duke. His pheromones were pouring off him, and I was super susceptible. It’d been fifteen years since I’d had amazing sex.
What torture that had been. Knowing what sex could be like and falling short with each attempt at finding a partner for life.
Drowsiness took over. I had no idea of the time. My alarm could chime in two minutes or two hours. I kept my eyes closed.
The bed shifted. A small groan left Alder as he rolled. My eyelids flew open to stare at the dark wall. He was rolling closer.
Oh shit. Oh shit. Should I jump out of bed? Just sink to the floor? Get up early?
A hard arm banded around me. I held my breath. He’d wake up. He’d realize he was pressed against me, even closer than I had been plastered to him.
Desire built inside me like thunderclouds, one giant puff stacking on top of another. Even my lungs started to ache.
With a contented grunt, he nuzzled his nose into the nape of my neck and inhaled deeply. His exhale tickled the hair at the back of my neck. I was on fire. Heat swept through my body and the blankets held all the heat in. Add in the burning log that was Alder and I would combust in T-minus five seconds.
But I didn’t move.
I could feel every inch of him, including the ones pressed into my backside. God, I had missed him, and I had missed that.
I shifted, trying to use my foot to seek a break in the blankets and get some air, but all it did was make my bottom wiggle against his erection.
“Fuck, Daze,” he murmured against my skin. He pushed against me, the hard erection of his grinding against my ass.
His hand started moving, burrowing. My breath stalled once again as his fingers found my waistband, then slipped between that and my skin.
“Alder,” I whispered. Electricity zinged through my body, swooping and swirling.
Alder was touching me. Giddiness filled me. At last! rang through my head.
“Are you wet, baby?” His deep voice was an aphrodisiac.
My hips rocked, seeking more. No. This couldn’t happen. He wasn’t awake. “Alder.”
“Yeah?” He pushed his hand farther down. My legs widened of their own accord. The disconnect between my mind and body grew even wider.
Hot lips pressed a kiss on the side of my neck. God, yes. More of that.
No!
“Alder, wake up,” I snapped, keeping my volume down. If his parents in the bedroom right above us overheard, it’d only sell this thing. Not the logic I needed right now. “Wake up.”
He stiffened on a sharp inhale. His arm got tighter and somehow that brought his fingers even closer to where I wanted them. So badly. Need pounded through me.
“I should stop,” he finally said.
“Yeah.”
One second went by. Another.
“Fuck, Daze. You feel so good. Like warm velvet.”
“Alder,” I groaned. Having him against me, his hand on me—so damn good.
“Do you need this?”
I couldn’t lie when I was trying to figure out how I could get out of bed and accidentally bump my clit against his fingers. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I think it does.”
My leg shifted wider.
“You need to come so hard, don’t you?”
It was difficult enough to be strong during the day when I could hide in another room. Under the same covers and entwined together? Impossible. “Yes,” I whimpered.
“Let me make you come, Daze. Just this once.”
The longing inside of me could weep. Relief was so damn close. I half turned, my shoulder butting into his chest. I snaked my rogue leg over his and bent the one pressed to the bed.
“Nice and open for me.” He dipped his fingers down, hitting my clit. Lightning crashed through me, waking up all my nerve endings. “And so fucking wet.” He licked the tender spot under my ear, making me shiver. “Just like I knew you’d be.”
I fisted the covers. Was he moving or was I? I rode his hand, but he also circled my tight nub just the way I liked it. He didn’t ruin his rhythm. He provided the friction and he let me go.
“Alder,” I moaned.
He kissed the base of my neck. “Say it again.”
“Alder.”
“You’ve had my name on your tongue every time you’ve gotten off, haven’t you?”
There was no room to be ashamed. Pleasure filled every corner, growing stronger. I bowed my back and released the covers to grab the back of his head. I rolled my hips against him, and he continued nibbling that spot under my ear and along my neck that drove me wild. “I’m so close, Alder.”
“Take your time. Ride that wave.” He said it like neither of us wanted this to end. He couldn’t read my mind, but I wanted this to last forever. I could stay on this crest of ecstasy for eternity.
“Oh god.” I wouldn’t be able to hold back an orgasm that was building this strong, but I had to stay quiet. “Oh my god.”
“You’re so hot you’re going to burn me. Feel how powerful that is.”
He wasn’t inside me, but I clenched like he was. Like he’d thrust into me and I could hold on to him so tight I’d never let him go.
“Ride the wave.” He kept his steady strokes, his voice right at my ear. This was just between us. “Take it all just like I was in you, thrusting in and out.” He ground against my ass.
Another ragged moan left me. I was strung tight and holding on so hard I was shaking, my breath thready. “I’m so close.”
I clamped on to my bottom lip as pure unadulterated pleasure washed over me like a tsunami, stronger than it’d been in years.
“Alder.” My whisper cracked. “Yes,” I hissed. “Yes, yes, yes.”
Finally .
I rode the climax as long as I could hold, until the trembling took over and I had to sag against the mattress. Finally.
Alder quit rubbing me, but he cupped my pussy, his hand warm and my wetness coating the both of us.
Nothing but our mingled, uneven breaths filled the room.
Reality pounded at the door of my brain.
Not yet. His hand was splayed on my belly and my leg was still on him. I was cozy and content. For once.
I waited until my heart rate came down. The satisfied thrum between my legs was some sort of code for Alder Was Here . Then the lust fog slowly cleared. Our marriage was an arrangement. We were putting a show on for his parents to keep from putting them in a hard spot having to validate our union at the end of the year. Being intimate would only muddy those lines and resurrect old feelings that had taken years to bury.
“We shouldn’t have done this.” I still didn’t move.
“Why not?”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. I hadn’t been ready to answer a frank question like that. The obviousness in the situation should’ve been clear. “We’re not a couple. It’ll be harder to leave at the end-of-the-year timeline.”
The fingers of his hand tensed. “What if…”
I couldn’t let him finish. I’d tormented myself with various outcomes and possibilities for too long. “There is no ‘what if.’ There already was, and it didn’t work.”
“We’re different people now.”
“I’m not, Alder. I’m not different, and that’s why I’m still single.”
He pressed a tiny kiss on the shell of my ear. “You’re not single. You’re married for the next eleven months. What about your pleasure?”
“What about it?”
“You needed that release.”
“I’ve been doing just fine.” I thought I had been. Until that orgasm proved how much pent-up energy had been inside me. Before my body whispered insidious things like Just think how much better that would’ve been with his magnificent dick inside you?
I had thought about it. I’d only ever thought about it each time I’d had sex over the years. And I was confident that Alder had not. He’d gone in and done his best with the women he’d dated, and he’d probably realized that he could get so much better than his boring ex-wife. He could land enthusiastic women who had no trouble getting out of their heads. Women who were more adventurous. More flexible. Fuck, I didn’t know. Just better.
“I haven’t been doing fine,” he murmured.
I snorted. “I doubt that.”
“You and I fit. Can’t we just enjoy that for a while? Can’t we be…casual?”
I’d never done casual a day in my life. Horribly awkward? Yes. All-in with hearts in my eyes? Absolutely. Cautious, but never casual. Irritation filled me, but not because Alder had asked. Because I wanted to say yes. “You know that’s not me.”
“No, you’re right.” He placed a kiss in my hair above my ear as he slipped his hand out of my pants. I let my eyelids fall shut. “You don’t do casual.”
I’d turned him down, but he’d only let me know he understood. My alarm chimed, saving me from the answer he knew. I jumped and slapped the screen of the phone to silence it.
“You can use the bathroom first,” he said. Distance was between us once again. Like when we’d talked in his pickup. There was intentional space, and once again, it was because I’d asked for it.
I crunched up to a sitting position, swinging my legs down. The lingering arousal didn’t dull as I directed my thoughts to work and getting ready for the day.
Damn. It was Friday. Not only did I have to face Alder tonight knowing he’d gotten me off this morning, but we had a full weekend together.
I could be strong. I’d have to be.
I grabbed the clothes I’d laid out last night and shuffled to the door.
“Daisy?”
I didn’t answer him, but I stopped and looked over my shoulder. He was stretched out in bed. His erection probably made it too difficult to sit. “Yeah?”
“If you change your mind, I’m here. And I know exactly what you like.”
That was exactly why I had to keep what space I could between us.
Alder
After our orgasmic morning together, I had gone to bed and found a row of pillows lining the middle of the bed, and that was the way it had been each night after. The fondling demarcation zone would still be up tonight.
I’d woken up in heaven only to be kicked back into purgatory. I had pushed too fast. A lonely man, one with a raging erection and the woman he loved in his arms, hadn’t been thinking straight. I hadn’t put her needs before mine. She’d been willing, and goddamn, I’d hopped on that train and hadn’t cared where I got dumped.
Only I had been booted.
At least we still slept in the same bed. I might have woken up with my face buried in a taupe-colored pillow instead of her hair, but she hadn’t restricted me to the floor.
There was a chance yet.
I’d take it slow. Daisy was worth it.
I finished cleaning up dinner in the kitchen. Daisy wiped off the table before disappearing into the living room. My parents were at Violet’s. She was holding one last get-together before the baby arrived. Daisy and I had been invited.
“You can go to Violet’s,” Daisy said, settling into the corner of the couch and tucking her feet under her. “Tell everyone I’m under the weather and wanted to go to bed early.”
“I don’t want to go.” I’d gotten to spend Christmas with Daisy. I wasn’t missing New Year’s Eve. We’d had a late dinner, and it was only a few hours away. “It might surprise you that I’m not a night owl anymore.”
“Alder. You love New Year’s Eve.”
I used to. Kissing random women at the stroke of midnight had never been my thing. After I’d started dating again, I might’ve tried for a couple of years before choosing to watch a movie and go to sleep before eleven. Snoozing through midnight was a lot better than forcing fun.
“I enjoyed New Year’s Eve when we would play games and drink sparkling juice until midnight.”
She cocked a brow and grabbed the remote. “We don’t have sparkling juice. Or games that aren’t a princess matching one.”
“Sure ’bout that?” I grinned at her startled expression and stepped out of the room. I jogged upstairs and ducked into one of the empty rooms. I found the box I had packed Scrabble and checkers in.
On my way back to Daisy, I stopped in the mudroom and opened the door to the garage. I had put a bottle of sparkling grape juice in the garage to cool off. Until I installed a heater, it doubled as a fridge or a deep freeze in the winter, depending on the outside temperature. I hadn’t bought a bottle of champagne. Juice was a throwback. A nod to our time together and we both liked it. Champagne might have too many romantic suggestions that would cause her to add another layer of pillows between us tonight.
I grabbed a couple of glasses and carried my armload to the living room. The TV wasn’t on when I entered the living room. Daisy had her arms folded under her breasts, a militant but curious expression on her face. She’d changed into pajamas after dinner. I’d kept my jeans and flannel on.
“Up for a game of Scrabble?”
She sat forward. “Is that my game?”
“With the distinctive Q tile? Yes.”
Happiness flickered in her eyes, but she suppressed it, like she didn’t want me to see. Or she didn’t want to get her hopes up about me. “Oh. You kept it.”
“Checkers too. Want some juice?” My goal was to keep tonight light. Time with my wife was a precious commodity.
“When did you— You planned this?”
“I planned to have juice and relax. I’m going back to work soon.”
The corner of her mouth twitched. “The next time I go to work, you’re going to be my boss.”
“Do your coworkers know?”
“Yeah, I told them. Not about the trust. Figured that was your business and not the best foot for you to start on.”
Touched, I had to clench my fingers to keep from reaching for her hand. “Thank you.”
She rolled a shoulder. “I basically told them what you told your parents. We reconnected and waiting seemed pointless.”
I poured her a glass.
She gingerly took it from me. “I’m afraid to drink this on your nice couch.”
Our couch. “We can always get another.”
She sputtered over her first sip. “I can’t just go buy new furniture. Not even if I have to assemble it myself.”
She wouldn’t have to. I set up the Scrabble board. “I have no emotional attachment to cushions.”
“I’m getting one. It’s like watching TV on a cloud.”
I laughed and handed her the bag of tiles. “You go first.”
She unfolded her legs and chose her tiles. “I haven’t played this in forever.”
“So, no seven-letter words right out of the gate?”
Her smile was wicked. “No promises.”
That was more like it. We played two games of Scrabble. She won, like usual. Then two games of checkers. I won. Like usual.
“One more?” I asked, stacking the black and red game pieces.
She checked the time. “It’s almost midnight. Three minutes.”
I picked up the juice bottle and topped off our glasses with the remains. “You’ve only yawned five times.”
Her blink was long. “I didn’t plan on staying up.”
“I’m glad you did.”
She dropped her gaze to her glass. “Yeah.”
“Thank you, Daisy. For sticking this out.”
“I didn’t have many other housing options,” she said lightly.
“You would’ve figured something out.”
She lifted her glass. “To having a place to live for the next year.”
That toast wasn’t good enough, but I wouldn’t push it. “Here’s to you, for rescuing a poor CEO and giving him a place to stay.”
Her laughter chimed through the room. Her phone lit with an alarm. It was midnight.
She lightly tapped her glass against mine. “Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year, Daze.”
We each took a drink. Her gaze skated around the room. I’d love a New Year’s kiss, but we weren’t there yet, and things were going to get uncomfortable if we lingered on the couch.
“You can use the bathroom first,” I said. “I’ll stay up until Mom and Dad get back.”
“You sure?” She slid off the couch, eager to move beyond the awkward stage.
“Of course. Don’t worry about the glasses and games. I’ll get those cleaned up.”
“Starting off the year doing all the work? I like it.” She scooted around me. Before she disappeared down the hallway, she stopped. “I had fun tonight.”
“So did I. Good night.”
“Good night, Alder.”
The bathroom door clicked shut a few seconds later. I was alone in the living room. We might not have kissed this New Year’s Eve, but if I did everything right, all her kisses for future New Year’s Eves would be mine.
Mom and Dad were scrolling through their phones on the couch. We’d all slept in this morning after our late night celebrating—or board gaming. Now we were waiting for Jason to drop off Laila. Daisy was busy in Laila’s room, arranging and rearranging her furniture as if I hadn’t returned everything last week exactly where it’d been before I had cleared the room. As if she hadn’t already checked to make sure the room would pass inspection. She wasn’t avoiding me, but her stiffness was ever present, a little less today after our game night.
Just as tires crunched in the snow outside, Daisy appeared and veered straight for the door. Jason had been informed about the visitors, but he’d wanted to drop Laila off himself. The guy was likely being nosy, but since he was also watching out for his kid, I couldn’t fault him.
Daisy opened the door and waved. Energy vibrated through her. She was excited to see Laila and probably a lot nervous about how it’d go between our facade and Laila’s natural suspicion of strangers.
“Mommy!” Laila plowed through the door and flung herself into Daisy’s arms.
Daisy laughed and embraced her tight. I hung back, by where my parents had risen from the couch. Jason stepped inside, his gaze sweeping the room. Instead of the one suitcase Laila had left with, he dropped another duffel bag.
Laila broke away and dove for the new bag. “Look what I got, Mommy.” She started pulling out stuffed animals. A red panda. An otter. A tiger.
“We went to the zoo yesterday,” Jason explained. “Ma paid for a room at a hotel with a pool over the weekend.”
Laila grinned, then her gaze fell on my parents. Her smile froze. She hugged the tiger close to her chest, her gaze guarded. “Who are they?”
Stress knotted up my gut. It was one thing to dislike me. That was understandable, and I could take it. I had to win over Daisy, and I wasn’t going to do it by being fake to Laila. Besides, I’d like Daisy’s daughter to genuinely like me, but other than being a distant uncle, I had no idea what to do around kids.
Daisy straightened and put her hand on Laila’s shoulder. “These are Alder’s parents, Weston and Magnolia Duke.”
“You can call me West,” Dad said and grinned. “Just not North or South.”
Laila’s little face scrunched up.
Jason chuckled. Dad crossed the living room and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. Jason, right?”
He nodded. Mom was right behind Dad, taking Jason’s hand next.
“So nice to meet you,” Mom said. “I hope your week with your parents went well. Looks like it was a blast.”
Gratitude wrapped around me like a warm blanket. I could count on them to make sure at least Jason was comfortable about this whole scenario.
“Eh.” Jason lifted his ball cap and set it on his head. “It was fun, but I’m ready for a normal schedule now. You know how it is.”
Mom laughed. “I don’t, but I’m sure a few of my kids do.”
Jason joined in with her laughter. The rigid set of Daisy’s shoulders eased, and even Laila’s expression relaxed.
“They’re really grateful they got to spend so much of the holiday with us,” Jason said to Daisy. “Thank you.” She gave him a small nod, and he squatted. “Until next time, my girl.”
Tears filled Laila’s eyes, and she flung her arms around him. “Do you have to go, Daddy?”
“Yeah, I do,” he said sadly, and goddammit, I hated this as much as them.
A month ago, jealousy would’ve gnawed away at me over this guy, but now I felt sorry as hell for him. He loved his kid, and whatever things had been like between him and Daisy, he at least loved the idea of a family.
“Your mom has missed you,” Jason said to Laila, “and it’s lunchtime. I’m sure everyone is waiting to eat.”
I caught Daisy’s gaze. Her brows knit together with a question. I dipped my head.
“Hey, Jason,” she said. “If you don’t have to rush off, you can have lunch with us. We’re only having sandwiches, but they’re, like, gourmet ones.”
“I watched how a popular sandwich place in Billings makes them,” Mom said. “We add olive oil and salt. Makes anything better.”
Jason glanced at all of us, his expression stunned. “I’ve been spoiled with good food.” He straightened his hat but managed to make it crooked. “Hate to go back to making my now plain sandwiches.”
Mom squeezed Dad’s biceps. “Let’s go get it all ready.”
“You didn’t have to,” Jason said, glancing between me and Daisy.
I shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but it was. If I could carve out a real relationship with Daisy, Jason was part of the Laila equation. I’d rather know him than feel like a stranger. Each time I met him, I understood why he and Daisy had lasted so long. “The more the merrier. My parents wouldn’t have had six kids otherwise.”
Jason let out a surprised chuckle and shrugged out of his coat. Laila rattled off the names of her stuffed animals. Daisy smiled and nodded but met my gaze again, gratitude in her eyes.
She’d eventually realize there was nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Except quit trying to win her back.