Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Alder
I stepped into the empty house. It had been dark when I drove up. It was Friday, and I calculated the days. It was Jason’s weekend. The weather was shit, and she should be home by now.
A month had gone by since Daisy couldn’t admit that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
Stubborn woman.
I hung my coat up and shrugged out of my suit jacket. Loosening my tie, I wandered to the counter. No note that she’d taken off for the weekend like last weekend when she took Laila to Grand Forks to see her mom. Cool relief slowed my pulse. She’d be home, and that was good for more than that I wanted to see her. Between my hours and her early bedtime, she was like glimpsing a unicorn these days.
The wind outside howled. A few weeks ago, the weather channel had predicted a mega storm with power outages, dangerous conditions, and maximum snow impact. Three inches and some wind later, I’d heard it had gone farther north than expected. This storm must also be stretching farther north than predicted. The towns along the South Dakota border were being told to watch out. Yet here we were, in the middle of North Dakota, watching out.
I had bashed through a drift that had already formed at the end of the drive. How would her yellow pickup do? I pictured it hung up, like a lemon slice on the side of a glass.
I should go out and shovel before she got stuck. The snowblower was in the garage, and there was a blade for the lawnmower that I had brought from the last house, but it’d be faster to go shovel it.
I jogged upstairs and changed into jeans and a heavy, crewneck sweatshirt. I had overalls downstairs in the mudroom closet I could toss on. It hadn’t started snowing yet, but the wind was brutal.
My phone buzzed repeatedly. I hit the bottom of the stairs and dug it out of my pocket.
Daisy. Shit. Was she already out of town and decided to give me a courtesy call? Wouldn’t she just text?
“Hey,” I answered.
“Alder?” Worry thickened her voice. “I’m stuck.”
I stuffed my feet into my work boots. The coveralls could wait. My urgency was too strong. “Where?”
“At the end of the road. My tail end is sticking out where it can be hit by someone who can’t see shit in this visibility.”
“Stay put. I’ll be right there.” I rushed into the garage and punched the button on the door opener. Flakes of snow rushed in as the garage door lifted.
As quickly as I could, I loaded my pickup with a tow rope and a shovel. I fired up the pickup and backed out, flipping it into four-wheel drive. More short drifts had built up along the driveway, but my view sucked. The snow had begun, and it was getting heavier by the second.
Daisy’s headlights cut through the haze of flakes. The light wavered as the wind blew varying amounts of snow across the beams. Movement around the hood made me shake my head.
Daisy was not staying put. She must’ve had a shovel in her pickup, and she was working on the worst of the drift around the driver’s tire. The pickup was too small to have any power and didn’t even have all-wheel drive.
“Get in the car,” I called, wading into the storm. Cold cut through the denim of my jeans and snaked through my coat. I tucked my chin into the collar. I should’ve put more layers on. “I’ll hook it up. Once you’re free, you should be able to follow me.” My pickup would break all the drifts.
She paused, her pale hair getting whipped around her face. She finally nodded and hopped behind the wheel.
I didn’t bother with shoveling. The drift was only high enough to hang her up, but I could drag her through without doing much damage. I’d rather hurt her truck and pay to repair it than have both of us freeze our asses off.
The mound had only given us a little resistance. I tugged her ride free, then got out and unhooked everything. Daisy’s lights gleamed in my rearview mirror as we drove to the house.
Drifts were already piling up in front, but we both got parked just fine.
Inside, Daisy stomped snow off her boots and brushed her jeans off. “I’m going to have to change.”
“Have you eaten yet?”
She popped up, her eyes wide. “Oh, uh. I’m fine.”
I gave her a “don’t be stubborn” look. “I can throw in a lasagna.”
“I’ll get a sandwich or something.”
“Jesus, Daisy. Can you quit avoiding me?”
She stiffened and planted her hands on her hips. “I am not—” My expression must’ve called her on her lie. “I’m not that hungry.” She was too; I knew it. “And I got groceries yesterday in case it stormed.”
Was I stormed in all weekend with Daisy? Alone?
It took an inhuman amount of effort to keep a Cheshire grin from spreading across my face.
I’d make sure she couldn’t avoid me.
Daisy
When Alder had asked if it was butter or olive oil that my mom used to spread across the garlic bread she made, I gave in. My stomach was growling up a storm and the lasagna smelled amazing.
“Dinner’s ready,” he called from the kitchen.
I shivered as I rolled off my bed and stuck my phone in my pocket. I’d been hiding in my bedroom so much I was tempted to buy another TV to put on my dresser. They were cheap enough, but I could also use that money to put a nick in my mountain of debt. Putting what would’ve been rent money toward it was slowly chipping away at the total.
Rubbing my arms, I strode down the hallway. I was still chilled from my brief excursion in the snow, and a hot, filling meal was a siren’s call.
Alder was too, dammit.
I hadn’t seen much of him in weeks, and it’d been hard. Even Laila had been asking about him, like she was worried about his well-being. During our trip to Grand Forks last weekend, she asked if he felt okay or if she should draw him a picture of an otter. I’d told her of course, but if my daughter thawed toward Alder, then what would I do? She’d be sad to leave when the year of marriage was up, and I’d already made her so, so sad when I left Jason.
I tabled the worry for now. It was winter. Alder was fine. When Laila understood that, her sympathy would melt like snow in spring.
Only we were in the middle of winter, and the wind was battering the house. I might be stuck with Alder for the night. Or two nights. A thrill zinged around my belly, but I took a centering inhale. I entered the kitchen, passed my chair at the table, and went to the dining room window.
“It’s howling out there.” Alder’s reflection was visible in the glass, snatching my attention off the drifts piling in the yard light. He set the pan of breadsticks down, then propped his hands on the tabletop, his gaze on me. Warmth swirled through my blood. “I hope Jason and Laila are staying in tonight.”
“Yeah. All weekend. He’s getting more comfortable having her by himself and not feeling like he has to entertain her all the time.”
His gaze dropped to my ass. I stayed where I was for another heartbeat, soaking up his attention on me. I’d called him, and he’d been out in minutes, ready to solve my problem.
I had another problem. An Alder one. I’d had it for years.
I should be in my room, but I sat at my spot. Alder took his at the far end of the table.
A giggle left me. He narrowed his eyes at me.
“How’s the weather over there?” Lame joke, but I kept chuckling as I grabbed a fluffy, shiny breadstick. I bit into it and groaned, my eyes rolling back.
“Christ, Daisy. You can’t make a dad joke and then make that sound. My dick doesn’t know what to do.”
My shocked inhale propelled crumbs down my throat and I started coughing. His unrepentant smile only made him look hotter in his crewneck sweater and jeans. The way his hair was mussed could’ve been used in a salon poster.
I shook my head and downed some water.
“Just kidding,” he said. “My dick is never confused around you.” I sputtered again, and he held his hands up like he was innocent. He wasn’t. Not at all. “I’ll stop so you don’t choke.”
I took a steady breath to make sure I could speak without coughing a lung out. “I’m surprised you didn’t make some crack about how you have something for me to choke on.”
“That’s a given.” He pushed his plate close to the lasagna pan and dug a cheesy piece out. “Just tuck that knowledge away.”
“You think it might come in handy?”
His wicked smile sent desire ping-ponging through my body. “Handy is a little different, but you always were a fast learner.”
My cheeks flamed, but I chomped on a breadstick before I said something else we could make sound sexual as if we were two middle schoolers.
After a few minutes of eating, I poked my fork into the top noodle. I hated saucy lasagna and this was just right, with extra cheese through each layer, and the meat was actual sausage and not small bits of gravel. “This isn’t store-bought, is it?”
“I made some freezer meals when you guys were gone. I kept meaning to tell you that you could throw one in whenever you wanted.”
“You made freezer meals?” He’d always been a good cook but never like this.
“Couldn’t really do it when it was just me.”
“Then what did you do?” Dine out with some sexy woman in a dress that barely covered her ass cheeks? The jealousy turned the cheese sour on my taste buds.
“Grabbed something. I also got to know a lot of the delivery people in Billings. One said they fought for my order.”
“You’re a good tipper?”
He just shrugged and grabbed another breadstick. Which he’d also made homemade.
“I’m going to be exhaling nothing but garlic all night,” I said.
“If you’re trying to warn me off, it’s not working.”
I rolled my eyes. He had always enjoyed giving me a hard time, but after our talk in the hallway, I knew he was serious. Desire ignited inside me.
It didn’t matter! I would not test how much garlic breath he could tolerate.
But if we both had it?
I stuffed a big forkful of lasagna in my mouth. I couldn’t be turned on when I was chewing.
The thrum between my legs begged to differ.
I shifted. How many nights had I stayed up late wondering if I could give myself as strong of an orgasm as he had given me?
All of them. All of the nights since he’d done it.
“I’ll clean up,” I said and hopped up once I was done. He still had half a breadstick left.
“There’s dessert,” he said like he was talking me off a ledge.
“Of course there is,” I snapped sarcastically. I blew out a breath. He was caring for me. I could at least not be rude. “Sorry.”
“I can take it, Daisy,” he said calmly. “Just like you can take the salted caramel cookies out of the cupboard.”
“Don’t you lose your temper anymore?” The question dropped heavy between us. I set my plate on the island, afraid to look at him. Every time I did, my heart wanted to reach out to him with both hands and never let go.
His amber eyes turned stricken. “No.”
“Never?”
“We fought enough for a lifetime.”
A sudden sob escaped, made a hiccup sound, and disappeared. We had used up our quota and then we’d been done. “Yeah.”
I put my dishes in the dishwasher. He brought his and I added those, keeping my back to him. He dug the cookies out and set them on the counter. I could take one to my room. Then I’d roll around on my bed, trying to get comfortable while watching a show on my phone. He’d do some project around the house because apparently he never sat down anymore.
Those nights, early in our marriage, when we watched a movie together had been…the best. One of the many things I missed.
Facing a night in my bedroom while getting snowed in would feel as empty as it sounded. “Do you…” My courage faltered.
He tilted his head. Was that a spark of hope in his eyes?
“Do you want to watch a movie or something? I’ve been bored spitless lately.”
“I don’t know. That sink upstairs won’t unclog itself.” His tone was sort of teasing but also like he was giving me an out.
“One night won’t hurt you. Just relax for once. You can use the bathroom downstairs.” I picked up a cookie and took a small bite, chewing like a rabbit, worried he’d tell me no and I’d have to run away.
He grabbed the whole container of cookies and tucked them under his arm. “No serial killers or I might not be able to sleep alone.”
I thought of a hundred titles that would scare us both in bed together, but I kept them to myself. I had some sense of self-preservation. “I’ll let you pick.”
Alder
We’d sat on opposite ends of the couch. She had remained burrowed under a blanket. Now she was asleep against the armrest, her feet stretched out and wedged under my butt. I could stay like this forever.
I shut the TV off. We’d started with the original Twister , then worked up to Twisters . I might’ve played dirty getting to choose what we watched. Twister ended with the couple getting back together, and Twisters had a cowboy in a tight, wet T-shirt.
I knew Daisy’s kryptonite.
She’d made it through that scene before she’d drifted off.
I rested my head on the back of the couch and soaked it all in. I was with her again. She’d asked me to join her. Weeks of avoiding me and I’d lured her out with garlic breadsticks.
Her breathing was deep and even. I could fall asleep right here and sneak in one more night with her. Only my pride wanted her to know she spent the night with me. I wanted her to want it.
Still, I soaked it all in for longer. We had over nine months left together, but if reconciliation took too long, she’d see the end of the tunnel. She’d tuck her head down and let her stubbornness take over.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had given up on us once. I’d made home life hell for her. She’d had to pick up after me, worry about where I was, and then field my attitude when she’d been rightfully upset.
It wasn’t happening again. I had worked hard on myself, and she was seeing it. But she was scared.
Remorse coursed around my rib cage. I’d lived in regret for so long, but there was finally room for more. When I looked at her closed eyes and the way her dusty blonde lashes brushed her cheeks, the love burned bright.
I fucking loved this woman.
So I’d make sure she got to bed. Alone. The wind blustered outside, but the power was holding strong. I wouldn’t mind getting snowed in with her, but I didn’t want us to be worrying about survival. After the storm, I’d get a generator installed so we could run a few lights and the furnace.
Carefully, I rose and leaned over her. “Hey? Sleeping Beauty?”
She wrinkled her nose and nestled farther into her plush, flannel blanket.
“Daze?” I gently shook her shoulder.
A protesting grunt left her. Her eyelids fluttered open, and a dreamy smile curved her red lips. “Hey, you.” She extracted a hand from her cocoon and wrapped it behind my neck.
I should stop her, but I didn’t. She dragged my head down to hers until our mouths were a breath apart.
“I missed you,” she murmured and tugged me the rest of the way down.
I kept the kiss chaste, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try to communicate how goddamn important she was to me. I added pressure, an urgency that told her I was sorry. So goddamn sorry for everything, and that if she could give me half a chance, I’d make sure she never lost trust in me. I’d do anything to let her know I’d never treat her like she didn’t matter again.
Her warm tongue licked against my lips. Fuck, I wanted to take this further. She’d be deliciously salty from dinner and sweet from the cookies. I’d get lost in her flavor. But she was half asleep and not thinking clearly.
“Daze,” I said against her lips. “I’m gonna carry you to bed.”
“No.” She whined, and her arms around my neck banded tighter. “I’m nice and warm right here.”
“I know.” I stuffed my arms under her and picked her up, blanket and all. If I lifted the throw off her, I might stuff myself in right next to her.
She held on to me, burying her face in my chest. I didn’t bother with lights as I carried her to her bedroom. Ambient light from the living room gave me enough visibility to get to her bed without tripping.
I set her down on the mattress and pulled the covers back. “Crawl in.”
Even in the shadows, I could see her lips form a pout. She tugged a sock off. Then her other one. “The wind is really loud.”
“Yeah.”
“Sounds like the roof is going to rip off.” Her voice was sleepy.
“The house has withstood a lot of storms.”
She sighed. “Stay.”
My focus narrowed on just the two of us. Only the storm outside made noise. Hope rose like a treacherous promise. Was she still partly asleep? What did they call it? Lucid dreaming?
Did she know what she was asking?
She was watching me from under her lashes, waiting for my answer. She wasn’t taking her request back.
I should say no. As much as I wished otherwise, she wasn’t ready. I’d been determined to be patient with her. I was ready to give her eternity.
“Where do you want me to stay?” I finally asked, too fucking weak to walk away. If I made her tell me point-blank, would I feel less guilty?
“Here. We won’t— I’m not— I just don’t want to be alone right now.” She tipped her chin up and her warm fingers sought mine. “Tonight was nice. I don’t want it to end,” she finished with a whisper.
I didn’t ever want it to end. “Let me shut the light off.”
My legs were leaden as I left her bedroom. When I was a kid, I’d never wished for telepathic powers, but I did right now. I could’ve flicked the light switch with a thought instead of risking the time she needed to gain some clarity.
I had to do this right, but there were no guidebooks. No resources about how to win back your stubbornly independent ex-wife.
With the house dark, I made my way back. An especially strong gust rocked against the exterior walls. This storm was supposed to go through tomorrow and part of the next day. Then the town would need time to clear roads and fix any utilities.
I inhaled a deep breath and fortified myself. Entering the bedroom, I waited for the inevitable change of mind. But as my eyes adjusted to the room, all I saw was her curled up on her side of the bed. There was no pillow wall.
The corner of my mouth kicked up. All the knots in my chest loosened. She wanted me close.
As I undressed down to my underwear, I smiled my relief into the darkness. She was trusting me. Slowly but surely, I would win her back.