Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Daisy
One of my favorite moments in life was happening again. I loved the quiet time before bed, when Laila was snuggled against me during reading time. Everything was right in the world during these times and we were in sync.
Then there were the early mornings with Alder. I thought I had lost these. Not too long ago, I had gotten to experience one again, and it had ended in fireworks.
Alder’s breathing was even, but that didn’t mean he was asleep. I peeked my eyes open. Faint light shone through the thick blinds. It wasn’t that early.
I strove to get my brain online. I didn’t have work. It was Saturday. From the strength of the wind, it was still storming out. I wouldn’t be going anywhere today.
This was nice. Hard chest under my cheek. Strong, warm body. I closed my eyes and just breathed. In and out.
I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t have asked him to stay with me last night. I sure as hell shouldn’t have wished he’d have dived into bed and devoured me. We’d slept together. That was all.
“Are you awake?” I asked softly.
“Yes.” His chest vibrated.
Hesitantly, I slid my hand along his torso. His abs clenched under my touch. I flattened my palm on his hot skin. “I’m sorry I asked you to stay.”
“I’m not.”
If I slid my hand lower, I’d find out if he was hard or not. I didn’t have to check. He would be, but my bravery failed me. I could not go there.
Could I?
Confusion swirled in my brain. I had so many reasons why not. I’d get my heart broken again. I’d have to move, and I had nowhere to go. I’d have to tell Laila. To everyone else, this was what we were supposed to be like. Happily married. Newlyweds.
Could I leave after a year if we were having sex?
Would I have to leave?
Panic welled in my chest, making my blood pressure rise. The hurt. The uncertainty. The anguish. Had I done the right thing back then? Should I have waited longer? Could I ever trust myself again?
I started to roll away, but he twined an arm around me.
“Tell me what’s going on in that sharp brain of yours.” His deep growl sent shivers caressing over my skin. I felt the loss of his heat, and I didn’t want to leave the cozy haven we’d created.
How did I tell him I was terrified? I was scared of him. Of more change. More instability. I was frightened of making the wrong damn decision again.
“I have raging garlic breath,” I said, keeping my tone light. “Talking might be a huge turnoff for you.”
“I’ve got the same garlic breath.” He tucked me close to him, his chin resting in my hair.
My cheek was back on his fevered skin. How could he be so warm? Being next to him was like finally being free of the cold that had chilled my blood for fifteen years.
“You can talk to me,” he said.
I let out a hard laugh. “I can talk to you about how hard it is to stay away from you? I can talk to you about how badly I want to do more than just laze around in bed? I can talk to you about how I’m worried we’ll blur the lines and there’s no going back and then I’ll be left picking up the pieces of me again?”
“Damn, Daze,” he said with a groan full of regret. “You’re getting me hard and tearing my heart out at the same time.”
“Sorry—”
“Don’t apologize,” he said almost harshly. “Don’t ever apologize. None of it was your fault.”
The more I thought about those days, the more I wondered. The more I questioned. The more uncertain I was that he was right.
I patted his stomach, barely restraining from petting him like the love-starved woman I was. Then I rolled away out of his grip. “I’ve gotta brush my teeth and shower.”
The blankets slid off me as I sat up and I shivered. “That window is drafty.” The chill was taking my mind off the hot guy in bed. The man who would absolutely let me climb on top of him and find as much pleasure as I want.
“They’re old,” he agreed, staying in bed. “I’ll put plastic to cover them on my list.”
“Sounds good.” When I slipped out of bed, the burn of Alder’s gaze on my back stayed with me until I scurried out the door.
In the bathroom, I caught my breath. I was still in the fluffy pajamas that I watched the movie in. The tender way he’d carried me to bed… A tremble whisked over me.
Good thing I hadn’t gotten a good look at him shirtless in my bed. Those days his parents had been in town left me with enough images I couldn’t forget. Rippled abs. Mussed morning hair. Stubble over a granite chin.
Had his pants been off?
Alder had nice legs, with powerful thighs and a dusting of hair down his limbs. He oozed an addicting masculinity I couldn’t get enough of.
I gave myself a full-body shake. My mind kept returning to Alder as I brushed my teeth and showered. Should I hide in my bedroom all day? Should I help him with whatever project he’d work on? Should I talk him into a snow day?
Alder 2.0 probably didn’t know what a snow day was.
I finished drying off and looked around. The only clothes I had to wear were the pajamas from last night. I hadn’t even brought clean underwear in with me.
Well, shoot. I dug out a bigger towel to wrap around me. All the important bits were covered. I peeked in the mirror and bit back a groan. My damp hair made me look like a drowned cat. My skin was pale except for the bright red spots on my cheeks that never seemed to go away when I was around Alder. At least the towel made my cleavage look good.
Goose bumps spread over my skin as I scurried from the bathroom to the bedroom. It was empty and the bed was made. I shook my head. It’d take a while to get used to that new trait in Alder. He’d been such a slob, even when he’d been a teen. The main argument between him and his parents before he’d moved out had been cleaning his pigsty of a room.
Today’s Alder was as neat as a pin. He made Jason’s parents look like hoarders.
His voice resonated from the kitchen, confident, authoritative. Work must’ve called. The refinery had storm procedures in place. Hopefully, nothing had gone wrong.
I dug out a pair of sweats and one of my favorite oversized, fluffy sweaters. The sweats were navy blue and the top was a soft yellow. Perfect. I got a fresh pair of underwear and one of my older, more broken-in bras out. I also found a pair of thick, gray socks.
I couldn’t be less sexy in this getup.
Dropping the towel, I stepped into the underwear.
“That was work. They?—”
I yelped and toppled. Before I hit the floor, strong arms wrapped around me.
“Shit. Sorry.” He lifted me completely off the floor, cradling me in his arms like last night.
Cool air wafted under my bare ass. My heart rate spiked through the roof but it wasn’t from fear of hitting my head on the dresser. I was naked. My white underwear with yellow smiley faces hung off an ankle.
Alder frantically looked me over, then the jump of his eyes slowed. His attention turned into a perusal. The smell of mint came off him. He must’ve cleaned up in the bathroom upstairs while I’d been in the shower. He was in a white shirt and gray sweatpants.
“Fuck, Daisy. You’re not wearing a goddamn thing.”
My arousal was instant. I didn’t struggle to get out of his hold. “No. I’m not.”
He dragged his gaze up my abdomen, lingering on my breasts. My nipples were hard, begging for attention. Just like me. He finally lifted his gaze to meet mine. “I haven’t had breakfast yet, Daisy. I’m a starving man.”
All the questions from this morning vanished. The worries didn’t. “What if…”
Understanding rippled through his features. He clenched his jaw. “What if it’s just physical? What if we just lose ourselves in the pleasure and forget the rest?”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Do you think nine more months of this is any better?”
“What if?—”
He deposited me in the middle of the bed but he didn’t move away. He kept advancing until I had to lie back or we’d knock heads. “What if it’s real fucking good, Daze?” I opened my mouth to point out that good sex could make things worse, but he silenced me with a firm kiss. “What if it’s fucking amazing and we’ll be so damn relieved we didn’t waste any more time just sleeping?” Another kiss as he spread his comforting weight over me. “What if fucking is the only time that all this feels right?”
All of it already did feel right. Not the part where he slept on a separate floor of the house. Or the fact that my daughter wasn’t sure about him. Or how far away he sat at the big dining room table.
The echo of what if in my head faded away. I buried my hands in his hair and yanked him all the way down.
A growl resonated from him. He hadn’t shaved and his whiskers scraped the sensitive skin around my lips, but I loved it. So familiar. So hot.
Last night, I was the one who had wanted to carry things further before he hauled me to bed and tucked me in. This time, his tongue invaded my mouth, and he took over. The mint on my tongue grew stronger. The idea that he still used the same toothpaste as me soothed me in a weird domestic way. How bad could this be when he hadn’t changed his toothpaste from the brand we had bought together?
A whimper left me, and I automatically widened my legs, cradling him right where I wanted him the most. I rocked my hips unapologetically against him.
I’d opened the gate. Now I was barreling through. Everything I had denied myself for so long was at my fingertips.
He ripped his lips off mine. I drank in air, getting loopy on the arousal building inside me, settling between my legs, and begging for more.
“Fuck, Daisy,” he said against my chin as he kissed along my jaw and then down my neck. “When that towel dropped, I had no fucking clue how I’d ever get rid of my erection.”
My insecurities roared back. “My ass is…”
“Get out of your head. Your ass is goddamn perfection.” He shifted farther down, stopping when he reached my breasts. I arched my back into him and attempted to roll my hips against him. Only soft clothing brushed against my pussy.
More friction.
I undulated again. A soft chuckle left him as he swiped his tongue over a hard nipple. He slid his hand between us, and a calloused fingertip landed on my clit. “Is this what you need?” he asked in a sinful tone.
I barked out a cry and rolled my hips faster. He used his big body to pin me in place.
Another whine left me.
“Patience, Daze. I’ve been thinking about this for too damn long. I’m taking my time.” He sucked my other nipple into his mouth while he massaged the wet tip of my other pearled bud between his thumb and forefinger. A shock traveled between us. I couldn’t buck against him. He was too strong.
“Can you do that next time?”
He didn’t remove his hand, but he went still. My clit throbbed against him, but even I didn’t move. My chest constricted. What had I done wrong?
He released my nipple and gently blew across it. A full-body shiver racked me, and he grinned. “We doing this again?” Another blow, another shiver, another sexy grin.
My hips kicked, but he only let out a low chuckle and licked my tight peak. His eyes glimmered when I shivered.
“And what, exactly, are we doing?” His finger twitched, and my eyes nearly rolled back in my head.
“I think you know.”
“I want to hear you say it. What do you want us to do?”
This frustrating man. I was naked underneath him and his hand was soaked from me. “Have sex,” I gritted out. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks. “I mean, that’s only if you want to.”
He was giving me an out. It was only fair I gave him one.
He took his hand off me and caressed my lips with the same finger that had been teasing my clit. I opened my lips, and he pushed the tip inside. I tasted myself on him. A mixture of salt and desire.
“Do you think I’m missing out on these sweet juices, Daisy?” He removed his finger and scooted farther down my body, shoving my legs wide with his shoulders. I was open to him, my pussy right in front of his face. “I planned to finally satiate myself on you, to drink up as much as I could in case you hid yourself from me again. But if you want to fuck, Daisy?” He dragged his tongue through my seam until he landed on my swollen nub, then he laved across it. My hips jolted upward, but he put a big hand on my abdomen. “We’ll fuck. Because I very much want to fuck you.” He circled my clit with his tongue, and I moaned. “What do you want?”
So damn much. I wanted this. I wanted him. I wanted to quit tormenting myself about how losing him again would destroy any chance for happiness. “I want you to fuck me.” I could admit that. It’d been true since I first sat in his truck that night. It’d been true for far too long.
“Then I’m going to fuck you. And when you tell yourself it was a mistake, you’re going to let me fuck you again. With each orgasm, you’ll admit that there’s nothing wrong with us having sex. You want to know why?”
My nod was shaky.
“Because you’re my goddamn wife, Daisy Duke.”
Alder
I couldn’t take my claim back if I wanted. I might’ve just torched everything between us. We wouldn’t be burning up the sheets—her anxiety would.
I waited as emotions played over her face. Stark shock that I had claimed her. Note to self: Do more of it. Trepidation because she was Daisy. Of course she’d be thinking about the logistics of all this. Then finally, wanton desire because she fucking liked it.
I’d run with that. “You’ve got me for the rest of our year, and we both want this. It’s going to be weird as hell parting ways whether we break apart now and never touch until next December or if we fuck like bunnies until then. I know which scenario I prefer.”
Her eyes went wide, and she caught that plump lower lip between her teeth. “I know which one I prefer,” she said in a hoarse voice.
“Is it this?” I fit my mouth over the top of her pussy and flattened my tongue on her clit.
“Yes,” she cried.
“Good. Then relax and let me make you orgasm.” My desire demanded attention, but I ignored it and pushed her knees higher until she was split open, her glistening sex mine for the taking.
And I took. I flicked my tongue across her sensitive bud and then circled her clit. Her moans grew in volume until a shout echoed off the walls. “Yes!”
She was right there. So I eased off the pressure as my own built. She sagged into the mattress with a protest, and I could’ve chuckled. I slowly ramped up until she was writhing underneath me.
“God.” She planted her heels on my shoulders. She was cheating, trying to steal her pleasure.
I’d give her everything she needed, but this would be on my timeline. I backed off again.
“Goddammit, Alder.”
My laugh was unexpected, but I kept at it, bringing her within sight of her peak and then whisking her away.
“Please.” The pleading in her voice was perfection.
I threaded a finger inside her tight, wet channel and pumped lazily in and out. “I told you I was taking my time.”
“I’m going to pass out.”
“I’ll bring you to with this.” I claimed her clit again. Her hips jacked up, but this time I let her go wild.
“Oh my god. Oh my god .” She matched my pace. When she went faster, I went faster, until she rolled up and held it. Satisfaction brimmed in my blood. She was at the brink. Then she stuffed her fingers through my hair and cranked my head as close as I could get. “Fuck. Yes!”
Her orgasm was sweeter than I remembered. She was my personal blend of honey pouring into my mouth.
She rode it out like she needed this release to breathe again. I needed her release to keep my heart beating. “Take it all, Daisy.”
With a final shout, she collapsed against the mattress and tugged my hair, encouraging me to move up her body. As much as I hated leaving the sweet juncture of her thighs, I did as she wanted.
“I need you now.” My voice was guttural.
“Yes.” She peppered kisses across my face and the familiarity prodded the scar in my chest wide open. Fear poured out.
My own what-ifs hounded me. What if we never get this again? All the orgasms I’d given her before hadn’t been the glue holding our marriage together. There was no guarantee that pleasing her in bed would make her stay.
But that wasn’t why I was here, coaxing those greedy moans out of her. I was here because the last fifteen years had left me a fucking empty man. She’d been my other half. She still was.
Right now? I was almost whole again.
Almost.
Maybe once we were connected that emptiness would be vanquished.
I reared up to my knees, her legs still splayed on either side of me. I reached behind my neck and yanked my shirt over my head. Tossing it to the side with one hand, I ripped off my sweats with the other.
My heartbeat was in my dick. No longer strangled by my pants, my erection bobbed out with a mind of its own and only one mission—get inside Daisy.
With the lights off, Daisy was a sultry shadow in front of me. An old dream that came to life but wasn’t fully formed. Not completely mine.
Fuck that.
I dropped over her, catching myself with a hand by her head. Her eyelids were heavy, and her face was flushed, the pink spreading down to her chest.
“Spread your legs wide, Daisy. I won’t be able to take my time with this.”
She nodded and hitched her knees up and out. I notched myself at her entrance and a ragged groan ripped from me.
“So fucking hot and wet.” I trembled as I pushed into her clinging, soft heat.
She hissed with pleasure at my entrance, rocking up to take more. “You feel so perfect,” she murmured and twined her fingers back into my hair.
My arm started to vibrate. I wasn’t fully inside of her, but once I was I wouldn’t be able to stop pumping until I exploded. “So goddamn right.”
She made another needy noise.
I pushed all the way in. Fuck . I tipped my forehead to hers. She gripped me so damn tight, the little ripples from her orgasms riding over my cock. “Once isn’t going to be enough.”
“I don’t think I can take four orgasms,” she said out of breath. Her muscles clenched and released around my dick.
“You can. I’ll make sure of it.” If each climax stamped me more into her heart, then I’d make it my life’s mission to keep going until my brand was permanent. I drew out of her, loving the little whimper of loss right before I punched back in.
“Alder,” she breathed.
I did it again, and she moved with me. “Feel this?” The slide of my skin against hers, the way our breathing coordinated and how perfectly aligned we were—this was meant to be. “You were made for me.”
Her “yes” came out on a gasp.
I pumped harder. Faster. Her heels dug into my ass and I took her. She was with me the whole way, but she was too far from her peak. I would blow first. I grabbed her hand, licked her fingertips, and guided her arm between us. “I’m close, baby. I need you to come with me.”
When her fingertips hit her clit, she arched like she’d been hit with voltage. Her pussy squeezed around me.
“Do it again,” I said and punched into her. The bump of our bodies ground her fingertips into her sex. Her moan said it was the perfect amount of friction. “Rub that needy little clit.”
She was squirming under me, and the vise grip she had on me was more than I could control.
“Fuck, Daisy. Make yourself come.”
A cry left her and my damn eyes crossed from the pressure she put on my dick. Her legs clamped around me and she bucked against me, against her hand.
“Fuck.” I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut as the detonation hit.
The shock waves of my climax turned my thrusts erratic. The sounds of my grunts and slapping, wet skin filled the room. Then I collapsed on top of her.
For once, I felt like it was all right. That I was all right. Everything was okay. Because I was finally with my wife again.