Chapter Nine
Lexi
I wake up the next morning feeling a little blah, since I spent the whole night tossing and turning, thinking about Brock and Andy and the accident, and of course my terrible words. But as I get ready for school, I tell myself that I need to find a way to move on. All I’ve wanted for the past four years was for Brock to come back, and now that he has, I can’t let the past hold me back. I can’t let it ruin what could be a possible future for Brock and me. A deep and powerful friendship like we had in the past. If he wants that, too, of course. From what I can tell, I think he does. I hope he does.
“Good morning, sweetie,” Mom greets from where she sits at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee. “I have an appointment near your school in half an hour. Want a lift? Or would you rather ride with the guys?”
It’s definitely tempting because I’m still thinking about the memories and I have no energy to deal with the guys’ shenanigans.
“Okay,” I say as I sit down at the table with cereal and milk. “I can be ready in half an hour.”
After I send a quick text to Finn that I have a ride this morning, Mom and I finish breakfast and then hop in the car and she drives toward school.
“Are you excited for your dance class after school?” she asks.
“Yes! Dani will probably tell us what ballet we’re going to perform. I bet it’s The Nutcracker. I’m so excited.”
I’ve been going to dance classes since I was eight, when Aidan signed me up. Dani and Easton Knight offer free classes for all kids because they want everyone to have the chance to shine and follow their dreams. I fell in love with it the minute I started the classes, and I once had a dream to be a professional dancer, along with being a marine biologist. But obviously, it’s not exactly possible to be both, especially because I want to dedicate my life to ocean creatures. So I just dance for fun, though of course I put my all into it, too.
“The Nutcracker is beautiful,” Mom says with a smile. “You think you have a shot at Clara?”
“I wish,” I say with a laugh. “But nah. It’ll probably be Ruby. She’s the best and always gets the main roles.”
“You’re amazing, too, honey,” Mom says as she slows down before a red light. She removes her hand from the steering wheel to rub my shoulder. “My little firecracker. I have no doubt you have an equal shot at Clara.”
Her words fill me with warmth. Mom has always taught me to reach for the stars and follow my dreams. “Thanks. I’ll try my best.” I lean forward and press a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks so much for always encouraging me to never give up. I know I always tell you this, but you’re such an unbelievable person. You had to take on the role of mom and dad after Dad died, and you never once made me feel anything but super loved.”
Her body sags with relief as she gives me a quick hug before the light turns green. “Thanks so much, Lexi.”
After she drops me off before the school building, I wave and make my way inside. I’m more than half an hour early, so I head into the cafeteria and take out my phone and earbuds, playing a video I started watching last night. It’s about ocean life—duh, what else? Is there anything more beautiful than that?
Oh my gosh, how amazing are whales? I know the guys want to bash their heads into the wall whenever I gush about whales, but I can’t help it. They’re just so mesmerizing. Think about it: there are huge mammals, some of them the size of small planes and ships, that freakin’ swim in the ocean. They just mind their own business and enjoy their time in the water. They’re peaceful and love interacting with humans. Ugh, I can’t wait until I can swim in the water with them.
I’m so into the video that I don’t pay attention to whoever walks into the cafeteria or passes by. So I nearly jump to the roof when a male voice says, “Hey.”
Pressing my hand to my racing heart, my head snaps to the left. I almost fall off my chair when I find Brock standing there. His backpack is slung over one shoulder and he holds a book in his hand.
“What are you doing here?” I blurt.
With a small chuckle, he says, “Last I check, I kind of go here.”
I laugh sheepishly. “Duh. I mean, of course you go here. I just meant what are you doing in here?” I catch the time on my phone. “It’s a little early, isn’t it?”
He pulls out a chair and drops down on it, placing the book on the table. “I woke up too early and I guess I got bored at home. I passed by the cafeteria and saw you in here. Is it okay if I sit here, by the way? Because I can leave if you want to be alone.”
I playfully slap his arm. “You’re not a leper. Of course I want you here.”
For a second, I worry that I stepped over a line. I mean, is he okay with me joking around with him like we did when we were kids? Is he still upset with me about the Andy comment I made yesterday?
But I swear I see relief and joy flash in his eyes. “Really? Thanks. It means a lot.”
“Of course,” I say. “You know I’m super happy you’re here.” I play with my hair and then laugh like I’m embarrassed. “Sorry if I’m over exuberant. I think this video put me in a good mood.”
“Can I see it?”
I pass him my phone and he plays the video, his eyes instantly lighting up. “Oh, wow. This is amazing. Did that boat actually get that close to the blue whales? I love the sounds they make. It’s like they’re singing.”
“Totally! And look here.” I rewind the video to where someone on a kayak floats right above a blue whale that is under the surface. “Compare the sizes. It like he’s on a small plane.”
His face softens with another smile. “Breathtaking.”
We both grin and watch the rest of the video in silence. I slowly move my eyes to Brock, loving the way his face grows brighter and brighter with each passing second. It’s great we have ocean life to bond over. Maybe it can help us return to the best friends we used to be.
“What’s going on?” a voice says.
Breaking my gaze from my phone screen, I notice all of the guys piling into the room, each of them looking confused why we’re in the cafeteria.
“You ditched us to watch videos?” Theo jokes as he ruffles my hair.
“Lay off the hair,” I warn as I pat it in place.
“Hey, dude.” Dean fist bumps Brock. “How’s it going?”
“What’re you guys watching?” Cooper grabs my phone and scans the screen. “Ocean life again? Geez, if you saved a whale every time you watched this kind of video, whales wouldn’t be endangered anymore.”
“If only,” I mutter at the exact time Brock does. We exchange a look and a smile.
“Freaky,” Gael says with wide brown eyes. “You two used to do that stuff years ago. Remember, guys?”
Finn shrugs. “Not really.”
Gael throws his hands up. “You don’t remember? They were like twins.”
Finn shrugs again. “Whatever.”
“You good, man?” Dean asks Finn.
Finn’s eyes meet mine for a second before he yanks them away. “Yeah. Just nervous about a test I have later today.”
Theo chuckles. “Why do you dudes always stress out about school? Lame.”
As the guys talk about various things, I try not to sigh. As much as I love them, I kind of enjoyed my time alone with Brock.
“Mrs. Hastings emailed me back my assignment last night, ordering me to fix my grammar,” Theo says with a laugh. “She said she would normally dock points for grammar and stuff, but my assignment was so unreadable that it was giving her an ulcer. Anyone want to fix it for me?”
None of us volunteer.
“Do your homework yourself, man,” Dean says, rolling his brown eyes.
“I won’t do your homework for you,” Brock informs him, “but I can help you with the grammar. We could do it during lunch if you want.”
Theo twists his nose like he’d rather find someone to do it for him, but then he sighs and says, “Fine.”
“That goes for all of you.” Brock’s eyes move from one to the other, and I may be wrong, but it seems like his eyes settle on me for a bit longer than the others. “If you guys need help with your essays and assignments, editing them or with grammar, I’m your guy.”
“I didn’t know you’re good with grammar,” Nate says, shaking his light brown hair out of his face.
“I remember,” I say with a smile. “You were like the only one who liked it in sixth grade. Mr. Topaz was so proud.”
“Teacher’s pet.” Theo playfully elbows him.
“I take after my dad, I guess,” Brock says. “Hey, do you know that when he and my mom were in high school, she pretended to have tons of grammar mistakes on her essay to get him to come over to her house? It was super romantic. I think they almost kissed, too.”
The guys exchange a glance, Nate and Cooper raising their brows.
Brock sinks a little in his seat. “Right. You guys aren’t into romance.”
“Look at this guy.” Theo ruffles his hair. “Such a sweet pea.”
“Dude.” Brock shoves him away.
“I love it,” I tell Brock with a huge smile. “It really is so romantic! I always love seeing your parents together. They have like the perfect marriage.”
Brock nods. “They really do.”
“Okay, this just got weird.” Cooper stands and throws his backpack over his shoulder. “Bell will ring soon. We heading to English or what?”
As the others trail him out of the cafeteria, Brock hands me back my phone. “Thanks for showing me the video. There are just never enough vids on ocean life.”
“And not enough time to consume them.”
He pushes some of his bangs out of his eyes as we follow the others out of the room. “So true.”
“Hey, Lexi,” Dean calls over his shoulder. “You catching a ride with us to dance class after school?”
“Duh. How else will I get there?”
“Oh, right. You guys have dance today,” Brock says.
“You gonna sign up?” Nate asks him.
Brock shakes his head. “Not really my thing.”
“You should hang out at the studio with us,” Dean suggests. “Watch us practice. We have a ballet coming up.”
“That won’t disturb you?”
“Heck no,” Gael says. “People come and watch all the time. Dani and the other instructors don’t mind unless you’re disturbing the dancers.”
“You used to hang there all the time,” Finn reminds him.
Brock nods. “Yeah, I remember. Sure, I guess I can hang out there after school. But I have an online appointment with my therapist later.”
For some reason, we all get deathly quiet. I don’t think it’s because any of us have a problem with Brock being in therapy. But more likely because for the last few minutes, it kind of felt like old times and it was easy to forget that it’s not like old times. Brock is still very much in the process of healing from the past.
Brock laughs lightly. “She just wants to make sure I’m doing okay.”
“Of course, dude.” Gael throws his arm around him. “You do what you need to do. We all support you.”
We all agree with nods and encouraging smiles.
“But I think I can make it to the studio to watch you guys before my appointment,” Brock says.
“Neat,” Dean replies. “Now we can show Brock what he’s been missing by turning up his nose at dancing.”
“I didn’t turn up my nose,” he argues as we enter Mrs. Hastings’s class and sit down in the back. “I just preferred to do other things.”
“Like read.” Cooper rolls his eyes.
“Yes, like read.” Brock holds up his chin. “And sports.”
Nate is about to respond, but Mrs. Hastings walks in and starts her lesson.
I can’t help but watch Brock during this class. He gets so excited during the discussions, really coming alive. I bet this is his favorite class.
As though he feels me watching him, he turns his head in my direction. Oh, shoot! I don’t want him to think I think something is wrong with him.
But he gives me a sweet smile and focuses back on the lesson.