Chapter 17
Excuse me while my brain explodes
Alex
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Amelia is here.
My Amelia is Minnie, my daughter’s best friend.
I’m too busy just being thankful that I found her by accident to focus on anything else—like how the hell did we not put it all together before and the things I’ve overheard about Lizzie during the last year.
There’s no way Amelia knew I was Lizzie’s dad until tonight.
She looked just as shocked as I felt. As I still feel.
It took every ounce of control I had not to stalk over to Amelia and grab her when I first saw her.
I want to pull her close to me. I want to yell at her for running away and ignoring my attempts to contact her.
I want to grovel at her feet and beg her to forgive me.
I want to bend her over the table and fuck her until she’s moaning my name again.
But I need to stop thinking about that right now because I’m drinking beer and watching a baseball game with her dad.
Barry seems like a nice guy. The whole family is great.
Lizzie’s been telling me about them for years.
They’ve been there for my daughter for most of her life, and I’m happy to finally be able to meet them and thank them for all they’ve done.
But fuck, it’s hard to focus on that right now.
The two oldest boys join us in the den after a few minutes. “Who’s winning?” Leon asks.
“Who cares? It’s not wedding shit, and that’s all that matters.” Grant drops onto the couch with a heavy sigh. “It’s been nonstop like I said it would because Stephanie left everything she could for the last minute, so now Minnie and Lizzie have been scrambling all week.”
Amelia had said something similar to me a few months ago. It hurt her more than she liked to admit that she would end up doing most of the work without being given the title of maid of honor. But she’s still willing to do it all because she loves her best friend.
Shit. She’s my daughter’s best friend. How the hell do I deal with this? Does it change how I feel about her?
No, it doesn’t. I love her. I love her so fucking much. I already knew she was an amazing best friend. It’s still blowing my mind that the girl she calls Bean is my Lizzie.
It’s got to be weird for her, realizing her boss and her best friend’s dad are the same person. And Lizzie… I have no idea how she’ll take it. This is all so complicated.
Fuck. Maybe I should walk away and…
I mentally shake myself. Knock it the fuck off, idiot! Shit, I can’t keep letting fear creep in and ruin this. I need to fix this. I need to get Amelia to listen to me. I need to at least try. I’m not giving up on her, on us.
I will fix this.
I keep getting lost in my own thoughts, and every time I refocus, more and more kids appear in the den.
The large sectional couch is quickly full of Sinclairs.
There are also a couple boys I don’t remember being at dinner.
Everyone cheers when the Seattle Mariners win the game.
Henry does a little dance, shaking his butt in the middle of the room, wearing just a pair of underwear covered in some cartoon dogs I don’t recognize.
“Henry, where are your clothes?” Barry asks with a chuckle. The kid giggles and runs from the room, almost crashing into Lizzie in the doorway.
“Whoa, little dude, slow your roll!” she yells after him.
“No, Beanie Weanie!” he yells back, laughing.
“Whoever started that fucking nickname is dead meat.” Lizzie glares at each person in the room in turn. She points at the two new ones. “Mom’s looking for you boys.”
They groan in unison. I didn’t even realize they’re her younger brothers until now.
Lizzie glances at me and grins. “Deer in headlights, Dad.”
“Just trying to keep everyone straight.” Seriously, there are a lot of kids in this room. I need a chart or something.
Lizzie laughs. “Okay, let’s see if I can help. You know me, obviously. I’m the best one, and your only child, so that’s easy to keep track of. Minnie’s probably chasing a mostly-naked preschooler around, but I usually attach her to my hip, so get used to seeing her.”
The fact that I’m able to keep my face from showing all the emotions I feel when Amelia is mentioned is a fucking miracle.
“Hmmm… how should I do this?” Lizzie asks.
“Alphabetically, obviously,” Barry deadpans.
“Fun, but no.” She does finger guns at him and he chuckles, a wide grin on his face. “Moving on! You met the Sinclairs, but I’ll refresh your memory and introduce you to the Boyds. Well, not Stephanie because she’s apparently too cool to hang out with us anymore.”
She points to each person as she lists them for me.
“Grant Sinclair, nineteen and hasn’t realized he actually is too cool for the rest of us.
Leon Sinclair, fifteen. Best friend of my brother, Travis Boyd, fourteen.
Christy Sinclair, ten, and definitely too cool for the rest of us, but she sticks around anyway.
” The younger girl smiles brightly at Lizzie.
“Then we have the twins Justin and Jenny Sinclair, and Aaron Boyd, aka the Three Musketeers, all seven years old.” The three of them are stretched out side by side on their stomachs on the floor, and they all give a little wave, then burst into giggles.
Henry runs in, making a noise that’s half screech, half laugh, and does a lap around the couch. Amelia comes through the door and scoops him up just as he rushes past.
“Gotcha, you wild child. Bath time for you, buddy.” She turns him upside down and blows a raspberry on his stomach, causing him to belly laugh.
“You give me my bath.” He throws his arms around her neck and snuggles into her.
My heart clenches. I never really thought about having more kids until I let myself occasionally imagine a future with Amelia over the last year, and seeing her with Henry is making me aware of just how much I fucked this whole thing up. I want a future with her.
“You just want to splash me. But I’ll give you a bath, little man.”
“And a story.”
“You drive a hard bargain, sir. What do I get out of this deal?”
Henry leans back and puts a finger on his chin like he’s thinking it over.
Lizzie snorts a laugh, a few others giggle, and I don’t know what to call the noise I make because to my own ears, it sounds like I’m in pain, which I am, but I think to everyone else it sounds like a low chuckle.
Amelia’s eyes dart to me, then she quickly looks back to her brother, who holds his arms out wide. “Hugs!”
“Hmm… Okay, but only because Henry hugs are the best hugs. Go say your goodnights.” She sets him on his feet and he starts running from person to person, giving each one a hug and a ‘night night’.
He gives Lizzie a slobbery kiss on the cheek and then surprises the fuck out of me by giving me a quick hug.
“Night night, Beanie’s daddy.”
“Uh, night, buddy.”
He finishes his rounds, then darts out of the room again, yelling, “Bye-bye, underpants!”
Amelia throws her head back and runs a hand down her face, groaning. “Fucking hell.”
Lizzie smirks. “It’s all that Red Bull I gave him for breakfast.” Amelia flips her off before following after Henry.
“Alright, gotta get the boys home.” Lizzie turns to me with a pinched look on her face as her brothers leave the room. “Mom wants to ask you something or tell you something or…I dunno, something.”
Oh, joy. I sigh quietly, but Lizzie knows how I feel about her mom.
“Don’t worry, we’ll make it quick so you can get to your hotel, and hopefully, you won’t have to deal with her much this next week.”
“It’s your wedding, kiddo. I’m here for you and whatever comes up.” We stand and I turn toward Barry. “Thanks for letting us crash your dinner and for everything your family has done for my daughter.”
“It’s all been our pleasure, Alex. I hope you’ll stop over again while you’re in town. We have a lot of photos and videos that include Lizzie if you want to check them out.”
“I would love that. I never got much of those kinds of things,” I say. He nods, giving me a knowing look.
“Don’t worry, Barry. I’ll bring him back,” Lizzie promises.
I follow Lizzie through the house, hearing some faint cursing and water splashing from upstairs along the way. In the kitchen, I thank Joan as well.
Lizzie’s brothers lead the way to the house next door. I’m already thinking up excuses to leave as soon as possible.
“Zander, it’s so good to see you again!” Tiffany wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. I fight the urge to wipe the spot with the back of my hand. I do take a step back and remove her arms from me when she presses against me.
“Tiffany. It’s been a long time. And you know I hate it when you call me that.”
She pouts as I pull away from her. She’s a beautiful woman, but she’s cold and manipulative. Lizzie’s the only good thing that came from our relationship.
“Boys, go get ready for bed.”
“What the heck, Mom? It’s only nine and it’s summer!” Travis exclaims. The teenager looks horrified at the prospect of going to bed so early. Can’t say I blame him.
“Then go find something to do. I want to give Zander a tour.”
“I don’t need a tour, Tiffany. I need to get to my hotel. It’s midnight in New York.”
“Well, at least let me show you some pictures of Lizzie really quick.”
I sigh and motion for her to lead the way.
Lizzie follows us up the stairs and into what I can only call a trophy room.
There are framed photos of all four of Tiffany’s kids on the walls, and in each one, they’re posing with some kind of award, medal, trophy…
something that signifies winning. Lizzie groans quietly behind me.
In her photos, she’s holding bouquets of roses and wearing crowns and sashes.
The sashes are framed as well, and the crowns sit in glass cases.
There are similar photos of Stephanie. More of them than of Lizzie, actually. The photos of the boys are from sports. They seem to play a lot of them. There aren’t many of seven-year-old Aaron. Yet.
“Wow. This is… This is a lot of stuff.” I don’t know what the fuck else to say.
Tiffany’s chin goes up, and she beams with pride.
“Ugh. Gag. I need to go to the bathroom before we head out, Dad.”
“Okay, kiddo.” I look at her photos again, cringing at the fake smile on her face before turning away.
Tiffany’s standing closer to me than she was before.
She looks me up and down and licks her lips as she takes a couple more steps toward me.
“You know you could stay here, Zan. You don’t have to be all alone in that hotel room; my bed has plenty of empty space.
” She trails a fingernail down my chest.
“I’m not interested, Tiffany. That ship sailed a long ass time ago and it’s never coming back.” I side-step around her and head for the door.
She reaches out and grabs my bicep. “Ah, come on. For old-time’s sake,” she purrs.
“It’s not happening, Tiffany.” I shake her off and meet Lizzie in the hallway. “Can we get the fuck out of here yet?”
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
“Wait, we have some wedding stuff to talk about,” Tiffany calls out from the trophy room.
“Jesus, Mom. We don’t have anything that needs to be discussed tonight. Let the man go get some goddamned sleep.”
Once we’re in the car, Lizzie starts driving before talking. “Sorry about her. Straight to the hotel?”
“I really am pretty tired.”
She nods. “I bet that time difference is kicking your ass, old man,” she says with a smirk.
“Rude, kiddo. Just rude.”
She laughs. “You sound like Minnie. Do you have any plans while you’re here?”
“Only plan is to hang out with you.” And win Amelia back.
“Well, lucky for you, Min took care of most of the shit that wasn’t done yet last week, so this week is a lot clearer than it was going to be.
Let me know when you’re up in the morning.
Unless it’s stupid early. If it’s stupid early, find something to do until a reasonable hour, but after that, we’ll pick some fun shit to do. I’ve always wanted to show you around.”
“I know. I was really looking forward to it before I got so damn sick and had to miss your high school graduation. We had a lot planned for that trip.”
“We’ll make some of it up,” she says with a happy smile.
“Is your fiancé joining us?” I ask.
“He’s kind of got this vacation-mode thing going on, hanging with his buddies.
He’s not good with wedding planning anyway, so it hasn’t been a big deal.
But I’m hoping he does some stuff with us.
” She shrugs, and I wonder just how much it bothers her that he’s off doing whatever the hell he wants to while she and her best friend bust their asses to make sure everything’s done for the wedding.
Lizzie and I have a good relationship, but it’s been limited to mostly just the two of us.
I haven’t been involved in the rest of her life enough to feel like I’m qualified to offer her fatherly advice.
But I want to know more about my daughter, so I ask, “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were in beauty pageants? ”
“Because I hated them, and I hated that I let Mom talk me into doing them for so long.”
“I would have helped you stand up to her if you needed me to. You can always come to me for shit, Lizzie.”
Me calling her by her name makes her look over at me. It’s pretty rare that I do it. She got mad at me for it when she was little, saying she’s my kiddo, so I save it for big moments.
“Yeah, I know. I just hated the thought of making you have to talk to her or the two of you fighting because of me. Minnie had my back, though, and she helped me. She always has my back.”
“She, uh, she seems like a really good friend.” My heart clenches again. For both of them. I’m glad my daughter has a friend like Amelia. Or Minnie, I guess.
“She’s the best. I can’t wait for you to get to know her.”
“Why does she call you Bean?”
Lizzie laughs. “It’s just a play on words, really. Or I guess a play on my name. Elizabeth became Elizabean, which became Bean.”
She stops at a red light and turns her head my way. “So what happened with your secretary?” she asks, her eyebrows raising curiously.
Shit. How the hell do I talk to her about this? “I was an asshole and she quit. And she won’t talk to me, so I haven’t had the chance to beg for forgiveness.”
“Keep trying. You love her. I know you do. So you can’t give up.”
I shake my head. “Jesus. Apparently, I’m total shit at hiding my feelings from you. And Katie,” I mutter.
Lizzie barks a laugh. “Of course you can’t keep it from Katie! That woman knows everything.”
Not everything… “Why are you so concerned with my love life all of a sudden?”
“Because for the first time in my whole life, you actually want one. You always sound so happy when you talk about her. I’m actually pretty pissed at you for fucking it up.” She huffs and glares at me.
“Me, too, kiddo. Me fucking too.”