Chapter 18
This week is gonna SUCK
Amelia
Ihave to change my clothes after giving Henry a bath because the little shit not only splashed me but dumped a big ass cup of water over my head. I love him to death, but he is a freaking handful. I often wonder if the rest of us would be here if he had been the firstborn.
At least dealing with Henry helped me avoid Alex.
My thoughts are all over the place. I’m hurt and angry. I miss our banter, our morning pastries and coffee, and our late nights. I miss fixing his tie.
I miss him.
I hate him.
And now he’s here. For a week. A week that ends with a wedding where he gives my best friend away because he’s her father.
Fuck. I thought we were complicated before. But now? My brain is suddenly one of those boards covered in strings connecting a bunch of shit that only serial killers can make sense of.
The house finally quiets down as my siblings and parents go to bed, but it takes me hours to fall asleep.
I wake up too early for a Sunday during what I’m pretending is an extended vacation.
Only Bean knows I quit. Well, Bean and Alex. Everyone else just thinks I took an extra week off. Whatever it is, it’s too fucking busy to call it a vacation. I haven’t spent a single day relaxing.
Dad’s already up when I walk into the kitchen. He’s been a teacher for twenty-five years and teaches summer school, so he’s always been an early riser, even on the weekends.
“Morning, sweetheart. There’s fresh coffee.” He smiles over his steaming mug.
“Thanks, Dad.” I pour myself a cup and walk out to the back porch, where there’s comfy patio furniture. Dad follows me.
“What are your plans for today?” he asks.
“I’m not sure. I want to get some time in the studio, and there are no classes to work around today. There’s no wedding stuff to do for a few days, either. I promised the Three Musketeers I’d come watch their baseball game later.”
“Hey, invite Lizzie and her dad over for dinner,” he says. My stomach clenches at the mention of Alex, and I try not to flinch. “I want to show him some videos of Lizzie. We both know Tiffany never bothered. Hell, most of the time, she didn’t even go to anything that wasn’t a pageant.”
I curl my lip. No, I know Tiffany rarely sent him anything. Lizzie did sometimes. I remember more than a few times when she asked me to send her a picture or video I’d taken of her so she could send it to him.
Then, the rest of what Dad said registers. “Dinner?” I ask, like I can’t make sense of the word.
“Yeah. Your mom and I like him. The kids, too. He doesn’t have anyone here but Lizzie, and Lizzie’s over here most of the time anyway, especially with you home.
We’d like to get to know him better and give him somewhere other than the hotel to spend some time at.
We’ll throw some burgers, dogs, and brats on the grill after the game. ”
“I’ll let Bean know. I think she’s planning on going to the game anyway.” Dad nods, and I head inside. It’s still early. There’s no way Bean’s up yet. Alex probably is… Ugh, stop thinking about him!
It’s so tempting to unblock him and look at the text messages he sent. To listen to the voicemail he left. But I don’t.
Instead, I jump in my car and drive to the dance studio. I swing into the coffee shop next door first, where Gloria makes me a peppermint white chocolate mocha and gives me a hug. She’s owned Coffee Glo for longer than I can remember and is always up for a hug. Or a scolding, depending on things.
Coffee in hand, I unlock the door to the studio and throw a few flakes to the resident goldfish Marty—who is not the original Marty, no matter what Teacher Angela says—on my way past the front desk.
There are five dance spaces to choose from, but my favorite has big windows that let in the natural sunlight. I connect my phone to the sound system and start warming up.
Two hours later, I’m cooling down. And as if she’s watching me, my phone dings with a text from my best friend.
Bean
Your car is gone, where are you?
Me
Stalker…
Bean
Obviously.
Me
Studio, just about to leave.
Bean
What time is the baseball game?
Me
3. My dad says please come to dinner after, and bring your dad.
Bean
Cool. You doing anything after you leave the studio?
Me
*shrug emoji*
Bean
You’re coming with us then.
Me
Where?
Bean
Dunno. The mountain? The falls? Beach is too far for today. Gotta show Dad some local stuff.
Me
Oh god, all the tourist stuff???? I’m sick. Cough cough.
I really want to get out of this but I don’t see a way without telling Bean why. It’s not like I can just text her, ‘no thanks, turns out I fucked your dad, he broke my heart, and shit’s awkward now.’
Bean
You’re coming.
Me
You’re lucky I love you.
Bean
I know. Meet at your place in 10?
Hey, can you bring us coffee from Coffee Glo? My regular and a large drip with room, 2 sugars & cream
Jesus, just the thought of getting Alex his coffee hurts my heart.
Bean doesn’t even realize how hard she’s making this.
And I’m not about to tell her. Not now, anyway.
Maybe after the wedding. But I’m terrified of fucking up our friendship.
Just like I was terrified of fucking up whatever the hell Alex and I had before we fucked it up.
It’s a valid fear, apparently.
I can’t lose Bean. I absolutely refuse to.
So I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and get them coffees.
And another one for me, because I deserve it.
I must stare at the pastry case for too long because Gloria hands me a box with three danishes in it, winking at me. I smile, but it feels fake as fuck.
“You okay, Minnie?” Gloria’s brown eyes grow concerned.
“I’m fine, just tired, I guess.”
“Well, you’ve been going nonstop for a solid week. I know you’re young and all, but you can’t do that for long.”
“I’ll rest after Bean gets married.”
“You better. I’ll start slipping some sleeping pills in your coffee and switch you to decaf.”
I gasp. “You wouldn’t!”
“Don’t test me.” She points a finger at me.
“I won’t,” I promise. When she raises her eyebrows, I laugh before walking out the door.
Bean and Alex are waiting in her car in my driveway. It’s not quite visible from the house next door, which means Tiffany can’t see them.
“Hurry up! Before Mom wanders out and finds us. She’ll try to weasel her way in, then get pissy when we don’t let her come with us.”
I roll my eyes as I hop in the back seat.
“Stop letting her control your life. Here, drink your coffee and pick a goddamned destination.” I hand her the drink carrier after taking mine out of it.
She passes Alex’s drink over to him and puts hers in the cup holder, then she tosses the empty tray over her shoulder, hitting me in the head.
“Asshole. Now I’m not sharing the danishes Gloria decided we needed.” I take a big bite out of one.
“Ohhhh, there’s danishes? Gimme gimme gimme!” She reaches back and grabs the box. “Yoink! Here, Dad, you have to try one of these. We’ve been begging Gloria to tell us where she gets these things for years, but she just laughs at us.” She takes a bite and groans.
“I thought we had to hurry,” I say with a smirk.
“Shut up and pick some music.” She hands me her phone, and I pull up her playlists.
Alex turns slightly to look at me in the middle of the back seat and a wave of that spicy musk he wears hits me. “Do you want the front seat?”
“Nope, I’m fine. Front seat is better for tourists. The best view is usually through the windshield.” I meet his gaze for a second before looking at the phone again. He trimmed his beard since last night.
I pick a playlist called Vroom Motherfucking Vroom and hit shuffle. Bean shoves the last of her Danish in her mouth and backs out of the driveway.
“Where are we going?” I ask her before taking another bite of mine.
“The gorge. I forgot about the ticket system thing they added for Multnomah Falls, but lucked out and got one, so we’ll go there, then find lunch somewhere.”
“If you think we’re going all the way to the top of the falls, let me the fuck out now.”
“Shit, remember when we actually did that?”
“Yeah. No way is that happening now.” With my leg, the steep walking trail and switchbacks would be pretty much impossible. There’s a bridge not far up the trail I’ll be able to make it to, but I’m not going any further.
Bean catches my eye in the rearview mirror. “Have you gone to physical therapy since you’ve been here?”
“I forgot to call. I’ll get around to it.
” I have a therapist here, but I like Billie better, and I’m annoyed that leaving New York means losing her, so I’ve just put off making an appointment.
I glance over and notice that Alex’s sun visor is down, and the angle makes it so that when he looks up, our eyes meet again.
The similarity of the two of them looking at me in the mirrors almost makes me laugh, but it also feels like a kick to the gut, reinforcing the ‘best friend’s father’ aspect of my life.
And his eyes… God, they’re so intense. And I can’t seem to force myself to look away from those pools of green. His brow furrows. He knows it’s been more than a week since my last session, but he can’t say anything in front of Bean.
“How long did you dance today?” Bean asks.
“About two hours,” I answer. Alex purses his lips.
“Min, you need to get in soon.”
“I will.”
“Mmmmhhmmm, sure. I’m going to harass you about it until you do.
You know that’s probably something you have to do forever.
Fucking drunk driver.” She turns to Alex, who quickly looks away from me and toward her.
“Remember that, Dad? I flew out to New York to visit Minnie in the hospital, and you were in Paris for work, so you couldn’t come with me.
Jeez, you two should have met a bunch of times, but something always got in the way. ” Bean looks back at the road.
“I do remember. I don’t remember the drunk driver part.”
“I don’t think we even knew that at that point. I just knew there was an accident when I called and asked you to get me there. Your plane was with you, and I was in full panic mode, but you found one for me in like ten minutes.”
“I couldn’t do much else for you, being so far away,” he says. I see him start to look up toward his sun visor. I turn and stare out the window, not letting myself get caught up in Alex’s eyes again.