45. Banana Dick
Banana Dick
SARAFINA
My knee bounced as I anxiously sat on the stool in my art studio and reread the last text messages from Carter.
I knew I should be painting. I needed to make some serious progress on this piece, but I was dying for a message to come through—one teensy-tiny little message that would give me proof of life and remind me that I was overreacting.
Actually, I was really proud of myself for keeping it together. The first couple of times Carter had gone radio silent had been absolute hell, and while I hated it, I was slowly learning to deal with the anxiety.
Honestly, it’d only been a couple of weeks since I’d heard from him, and this wasn’t even the longest stint. But for some reason, this time, it just felt harder.
I knew he loved flying, loved his job, but this fucking sucked—and even when I knew he was safe and sound, I hated the long distance.
As much as I loved Briar Rose, I loved him more .
Since I could really paint from anywhere, I’d already hinted at the fact that maybe after graduation I’d be willing to move, because when we did talk, in between all the flirting and sexting…
we were talking about the future, and making plans— he was making plans, and I wanted them to hurry up and start already .
So I did what I always did when I missed him so bad my chest felt like it was going to cave in. I set my phone down and recorded him a funny little video.
A musical was blasting as I pranced around like a loon.
“Hi baby! I hope you’re having a good day.
I’m in my studio, painting, and managing my anxiety like a champ.
Look what I painted—it’s your massive dick.
” I giggled and picked up the camera, showing him the vulgar little doodle I’d made and then aimed the camera at the trash can.
“And I even ate Thai food for lunch. Aren’t you proud of me?
!” I turned the camera back around, telling him how much I loved and missed him, before I kissed the camera goodbye.
My smile faded as I quickly ended the video, knowing if it was too long it wouldn’t go through at all. But staring at the wall of messages I’d already sent him, my shoulders sagged.
I miss you so much
Good morning, thinking of you.
*Image*
I had a really bad nightmare last night. Womp womp
I wish I could talk to you right now, something real shitty happened today.
Also Vaughn is an ass, and I give you full permission to kick his butt when you get back. He deserves it. Grumpy rude asshole!
*Image*
Think of me the next time you jack off, because I’m thinking of you right now.
Remember that thing you did with your tongue. Let’s do it again sometime. Same place? Same Time?
*Image*
Carter?
Carter!
Flyboy
Hey big boi
Biggie dick boi
Bing bong
Bing bing ring a ding ding
Did you get any of those? I thought maybe if I sent enough messages, maybe one would get through.
IDK maybe some of them are.
*Image*
This is the biggest banana I’ve ever seen in my life. Look at the girth…. and speaking of girth.
*Image*
Hey look, I have a banana dick. What do you think? I think I look quite dashing.
It’s not as big as yours but I think I could do some real damage.
When you get back, I’m going to bounce on yours until it falls off.
Your banana dick that is.
Just warning you.
JK. No but really
Yours is so much prettier than my banana dick
I mean more manly. You have the biggest, most manly dick of all the dicks.
I shall name him your obi-wand. And I would like to politely request that you split me in half like Darth Maul. Only make it hot dog style instead of hamburger. Please and thank you.
Hold the mustard but I’ll take the ketchup
I don’t even know what that means, but I can’t wait to hear what you come up with.
Okay... I don’t know. I miss you
SIGH. I miss you so bad
Ten four. Casanova please report for duty
Roger. We need proof of life. Stat.
Any day now.
Fuck.
This is really hard.
I wish I at least knew where you were.
The gremlin is being really bad today, and I feel like something is really wrong.
I know I promised you that I would keep my anxiety in check, but I’m really starting to freak out. I hope you’re okay.
I love you.
So much.
…
I decided I would rather be Princess Leia instead of Darth Maul. But you can still split me in half hot-dog style when you get back.