49. I Know You
I Know You
CARTER
Standing in my kitchen, I knocked back a second pill from my prescription bottle as a pounding headache stabbed through my head, threatening to turn into another nasty migraine.
Liam yelling at me from across my new penthouse in the city wasn’t helping.
But this was progress, at least. The yelling.
“How. Long. Has this been going on?” Liam demanded, and I realized he’d stopped yelling long enough to actually ask a question.
I stared at the ceiling, since the moment I laid eyes on her. “Halloween.” I admitted.
Back at the hospital, he’d ripped me a new one, but this was essentially the first time he’d spoken to me since—he’d made a special visit just to ream me. Again.
Liam stared at me, jaw rippling. “Did you sleep with her?”
“I—” My lips formed and then unformed the words. What the hell was I supposed to say? I didn’t want to lie to him, but any version of the truth was only going to make things worse. “We?—”
His eyes narrowed. “I knew it was fucking weird that she was in your lap on Halloween.” I could see his wheels turning, and I closed my eyes, just waiting for it.
“Was that my sister’s dildo in your bed?
” Liam demanded. “Fuck!” He shoved both hands through his hair, still pacing furiously.
“I don’t even know if I want you to answer that.
” He stopped and stared at me, wheels turning, a shred of hope still there.
“Kensington, I need you to be straight with me. Did you sleep with my sister?”
I was about to lose my best friend, but if it meant protecting the woman I loved, it was a painful cost I was willing to pay. “Technically, no,” I muttered, hating how awful that sounded.
“Technically?” He growled darkly, fists curling and uncurling.
I dragged two hands over my face in exasperation. “What the hell do you want me to say, Liam?”
“The truth!” He demanded.
I didn’t say anything more, and that was damning enough.
Liam shook his head in outraged disbelief. “I thought I knew you.” Then, “Actually, fuck that. I do know you. Which is exactly why I told you to stay the hell away from her.”
“Liam—”
He pointed a trembling finger at me, every word seething. “I warned you.”
I put my hands up, muttering quietly, “I know.”
“There was a reason I told you to stay the hell away from her.” He was barely contained as his voice cracked. “Because even at twelve, I saw the way she looked at you— the way she always looks at you . Damn it, Carter! I knew you’d break her fucking heart.”
There it was—the truth of how my best friend saw me.
And just like that, I was alone in the world again—I’d just lost the one friend I could always count on.
I’d known it was coming, but I prickled all the same because Sara hadn’t just been a friend with benefits, or a fuck buddy, or whatever he thought. She’d been my everything, and it’d been the best few months of my life, finally acting on what I’d been feeling for years.
“It’s not what you think.” I started, knowing I should just keep my mouth shut, but the truth gnawed at me and I couldn’t stop myself from trying to right the pain of his words. “Liam, I lo?—”
“No! You do not get to speak right now.” He growled. “Because I swear to God if you weren’t still recovering, I’d knock your fucking teeth out.”
I’d deserve it too. The look on her face.
The shock—the quick recalibration as she put a brave smile on, instead of crumbling, while I broke both our hearts, telling myself it was for her own good.
But the truth was, in those flashes of consciousness between the excruciating pain, I’d come to a single realization—my crash was a perfectly timed attempted murder, and I only had myself to blame because The Society had warned me, clear as day.
They threatened my life, and they’d threatened hers , because of what she meant to me—I’d been na?ve, not realizing their connections went all the way to the top, even in the military.
I’d survived that crash by mere luck. A miracle if I dared to believe in such things, and when I didn’t kick the can like they’d planned, they’d done the next best thing.
Ended my career. Issued an honorable discharge without medical evaluation or opportunity for reinstatement.
Continuing to toy with me, brazenly flaunting their power—making it clear that even if they couldn’t kill me, they could still control me. Take away the things I loved.
In the passing weeks since leaving the hospital, I’d launched a private investigation. Only the jet in question had mysteriously disappeared. To cover foul play, no doubt.
The only question was, what did The Society want from me that was worth killing for? I wasn’t na?ve enough to believe it was a square of dirt anymore.
The first time they’d approached me, I’d been a heartbroken teenager.
I’d been badgered by them so many times over the years.
It’d almost become mundane, and I’d never slowed long enough to look at the absurdity of the whole thing, and after the initial attack, I fucking should have.
They’d tried to kill me, and they’d threatened to kill Sara—I could kick myself for being so damn careless with the only thing that really mattered to me.
Which was precisely why I had to let Sara go.
For years, I’d tried to avoid the mess that my father had left behind, not really understanding the magnitude of it, but there was no hiding it, no sweeping it under the rug. No, the problem was going to knit itself a goddamn sweater and try to strangle me with all the loose threads.
I was more than ready to burn it all down, and I didn’t want Sara going up in the flames too.
The simple fact was that with me she’d always be a target.
They had known what she meant to me, had threatened her by name, and I’d let my emotions get the better of me.
I’d shown them the cards in my hand, and I couldn’t regret it more.
The Society had taken just about everything from me. My family. My health. My career. Sara was the only thing I had left, and I wasn’t about to let them take her, too. I loved her with everything I was, which is exactly why I had to let her go, because if something happened to her because of me?—
“Are you even listening to me?” Liam shouted angrily.
“She’s just barely putting herself back together again.
You have no idea what she’s been through.
” He swallowed hard, his voice nearly cracking.
“What she’s dealing with, even now. ” I wondered what he was even talking about, what other secrets Sara had kept tucked away.
Though I supposed I couldn’t be upset when I was keeping secrets of my own.
“Just—stay the fuck away from her.” He pleaded.
“If you ever cared about her at all, just leave her the hell alone.”
I was spiraling into the depths now, and I wouldn’t take her into the darkness with me. Not with my chunky knit sweater, not with anything. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.” I muttered.
“Really? Do you know what you’re doing?” He narrowed his eyes as he laid into me.
“Because it seems like you’re just fucking around, with total disregard for a girl who has been through hell and back.
” He shouted, “I would think you of all people would understand how difficult this has been for her.”
“You don’t think I know that.” I shouted back, head pulsating. I felt like I was going to puke, but I wasn’t entirely sure it was the headache.
He looked at me point-blank. “Stay the hell away from her. Or I’ll fucking kill you.” He headed for the door without a second glance. “I mean it, Kensington.”
I groaned, wincing as I sagged onto the couch. Everything hurt.
Halfway through the door, Liam added, “And take a goddamn shower, would you. It smells like a frat house in here.” The walls shook as he slammed the door.
I had bet everything, and I’d lost even more. I felt like an empty shell.
The TV burned the backs of my retinas as I stared into the blue pixels, not really watching it at all.
Only one thing mattered now.
Revenge.
Suddenly, my penthouse door exploded in a burst of thunderous knocks.
“Let me in, you stupid boy,” Sara shouted from the hallway.
My shoulders sagged, and I reprimanded myself for the relief I felt hearing her voice. I was supposed to be strong enough to let her go, but I wasn’t even close.
If I got off this couch and opened that door, I was going to let her inside. So despite her shouting from the hallway, I walked into my home office and ignored her altogether.
It was easy to ignore her too because I could hardly hear. That was another thing they’d taken from me. My hearing. I was fucking deaf in my left ear. Permanent.
I stewed on that fact and quirked my head, wondering why it sounded like Sara’s shouting was coming from inside. “Don’t you dare ignore me.”
My stomach dropped when she waltzed into the room looking like a bright star, a smile painted across her face, eyes alive. For me. Even while she was yelling at me. “How did you even get in here?” I rocked back in my office chair, feeling simultaneously devastated and relieved to see her.
Her eyes flicked over my bare chest, the dirty sweats I’d been in for days. “I thought you’d try to ignore me again today.” She announced, “So I took the liberty of making friends with the front desk. But you apparently don’t lock your door, so I guess that was unnecessary on my part.”
I groaned and dragged a hand over my stubbled face. “Why are you here?”
“In case you forgot, we love each other.” She bristled. “And whatever brain damage you’ve sustained is not going to change that.” She waved around me irreverently.
“I don’t have brain damage.” I sighed. “I just?—”