51. I’m the Bad Guy
I’m the Bad Guy
CARTER
Traffic was a bitch as I drove to my last and most important meeting of the day. Pissed as hell, I started weaving around cars like a speed demon, because I needed to go fast— needed to enter that narrow, peaceful space between life and death to stop the pain.
It didn’t matter though. Arriving at my destination far too early, I was still agitated enough to strangle someone. I couldn’t help but wonder if this had all been a colossal mistake. Sara had finally done what I’d asked her to. She’d let me go. So why the hell didn’t I feel better about it?
I slammed my hands against the steering wheel of my Aston Martin, hating myself. For hurting her. For being so fucking weak. For letting myself fall for her in the first place. I loved her more than air itself, and that’s exactly what letting her go felt like. Suffocating.
Then there was the rage quietly growing within me, smothering out everything else, leaving my insides shredded up between all the dark and ugly pieces left behind.
I groaned, resting my eye sockets against my palms in a futile attempt to soothe the pounding in my head.
Reality was slowly setting in. Eventually, she’d fall for someone else.
Get married. Start a family. Would she end up with some cardboard cutout like Eric?
Someone who didn’t really see her, or even hear her voice—someone with no passion who would just kiss her on the forehead and believe the happy smile she painted on, not bother to read between the lines, not bother to know those deepest parts of her—the pain she buried, the secrets she kept, the joy she had.
God forbid she ended up with someone like Doug, someone who steamrolled her, who kept her without caring for her—someone who plucked her instead of watering her and letting her bloom.
Someone else was going to take that gift, that privilege of knowing her, protecting her, loving her.
All the while, I’d be the bad guy in her happily ever after—a reality I was okay with if it meant keeping her out of harm’s way, and keeping her alive.
I would not become my father. Loving Sara from afar would have to be enough for me.
But it wouldn’t be . The thought of someone else taking, touching, claiming what was mine . Mine to cherish , mine to protect , mine to love —I wanted to break something.
I laughed, a strangled sound in the silence of the car.
In one swift move, I’d joined this world of chaos and deceit.
Manipulated Sara into choosing the outcome I was trying to achieve.
Let her believe all kinds of things that weren’t even remotely true.
I was bending, twisting reality—I wasn’t just playing the bad guy, I was actually turning into one.
It hadn’t been quite a lie exactly, but it certainly wasn’t the truth. The paparazzi photos had been a PR stunt to make it clear to her and everyone else that I had moved on. That she was inconsequential to me. Not worth targeting.
The fact that the woman I’d been photographed with had yanked me down for an unplanned kiss the moment the paparazzi started clicking away—well, it solidified what I’d always known. People only wanted what they could take from me. Access to my status, wealth, power .
Everyone was desperate for a taste of me, and if they all wanted it so bad—I’d fucking give it to them, spoon it down their fucking throats like poison.
If they wanted me in their world, playing their games, wanted to take away the things that were mine —then they would have to deal with the goddamn consequences.
I hardly recognized myself anymore. The rage was turning me inside out.
Turning me into something empty and tortured.
Pathetic . I slammed the car door and opened the trunk, staring at the tactical bag I’d packed.
I took what I needed, and headed into the building, knowing I had nothing else to lose.
A person could only take so much loss before nothing mattered anymore.
Inside, I followed an attendant through a series of concrete corridors that felt more like a prison than an office building. I wasn’t sure what I had expected, but I was beginning to understand that once you went in, you might not come out.
My gun was secured underneath my suit jacket as we stepped into the elevator, and the attendant tapped a key card to begin our descent. Below the basement level, the elevator numbers stopped counting, but I estimated we were about ten floors below ground level when we finally came to a stop.
The elevator doors finally slid open, revealing an ominous black marble hallway lined with armed guards. Halfway down the hallway, I was left in a dimly lit room without a word of explanation.
I approached the long panel of glass on the far side of the room, peering into the darkness beyond, when a shadowy figure appeared from the corner.
“Carter Kensington.” I was surprised to hear a sultry voice. “I’m so glad you could make it tonight. I’ve been looking forward to speaking with you in person for quite some time.” She stepped closer but kept her face out of the dim light, her voice soft but sharp. “May I offer you a drink?”
“Why don’t we just cut to the chase?” I studied her as best I could in the shadows. “I’m here for one singular reason.” I tossed the envelope onto the low table, quoting its contents. “To end this once and for all.”
She didn’t bat an eye as the envelope sliced across the glass table, knocking a single ember from the flickering candle that lit the entire room. The black paper immediately burst into flame, the orange embers shimmering against the woman’s dark eyes.
“So why don’t you summon the Director out of his slimy little hole and let’s get this over with.”
The room darkened as the envelope extinguished into a pile of ash. “Who’s to say you’re not already speaking to her?” The soft voice mused, just a silhouette gliding through the shadows.
“Careful.” I warned, “Don’t get caught in a crossfire that was never meant for you.
” An amused laugh was her only response, and I checked my watch, a strange feeling washing over me.
“I’m convinced half the reason it takes so long to get in touch with this damn organization is because of the elaborate games you all play. ”
She stepped forward, the flicker of candlelight illuminating her dark, striking features. “I’ll admit, you are not quite what I expected.” Her eyes narrowed as she calculated, “And I unfortunately for you, am not who you’re looking for.”
“Then you’re wasting my time.” I slipped my hands into my pockets, and the delicate metal of Sara’s necklace was warm as I ran my fingers over it like a prayer charm.
“Perhaps.” She tilted her head, exposing a flash of something on her cheek before she pivoted into the shadows again. “Perhaps not.”
I turned back to the void beyond the glass, oddly drawn to what it might be hiding. “Is the Director going to grace me with his presence at all? Because if not, I have pressing matters I need to attend to.” I was done playing games. He wanted my attention, and now he had it.
The woman laughed, offering an apology I doubted she meant. “No, he unfortunately won’t be able to meet with you tonight. ”
I blew out a slow breath, that restless feeling inside me beginning to unravel. “Then you can tell him he’s left me no choice.” I headed for the door. Time to start tipping dominoes .
“Not so fast.” She lilted. “I’ve been given one assignment for this evening, and I haven’t completed it yet.”
“I wish you luck with that.”
“I suspect I’ll need a little luck.” She hummed, “Seeing as I’ve been given the delightful responsibility of obtaining your membership tonight.”
My eyes narrowed as I paused. “Hate to break it to you, but they set you up for failure with that one. My answer still hasn’t changed in the last ten years. So, in case you didn’t get the memo?—”
“I always complete my assignments—tonight will be no different.” There was an odd bite of danger in her tone, as if she were trying to scare me.
But we were alone in this room, and I could snap her like the delicate twig she was. Maybe that would get me an audience with someone who mattered, but I could see it in her eyes, she knew I wouldn’t. “Who are you?” I closed the space between us, hating the feeling of being toyed with.
“You’re asking the wrong questions, Carter.” She taunted me as she slipped back into the shadows. “Who I am is of no concern to you.”
“Enlighten me then. What questions should I be asking?” Was this woman a pawn or a player? I honestly couldn’t tell.
“Do you know what your father did for us?” She mused, answering her own question.
“I suspect not.” She began a wide circle around me, and I was beginning to feel like she was coiling me up in her tail, ready to start squeezing at any moment so she could swallow me whole.
“Do you really know what made your father tick? Do you even know what makes you tick, when it comes down to it?” She continued her loop until she was in front of me again, keeping herself half in the shadows.
“Do you know what motivates you? Hmm? How about what terrifies you? Because I know.” Her jewelry tinkled as she pushed her dark hair over her shoulder and continued, “In fact, I know everything there is to know about you.” She spoke softly, but there was nothing meager about it.
“I know all your dark, dirty little secrets, and I know you’ll help me complete my assignment before the night is over.
” A saccharine-sweet smile that was nothing but venom underneath.
Except despite her best efforts, I could tell there was something underneath all her swagger... fear.
“What will you gain?” I asked, trying to make sense of her. “Or maybe I should ask, what will you lose if you fail your assignment?”
“Everything.” She bit out. “Which is why I will succeed. No matter the cost.”