Chapter 5 #2
That’s why I’m going to move away. I am the one that isn’t important here. But you are. I understand that me trying to talk to you isn’t what you want, and I’ll stop. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.
I know you’re on assignment, and I hope you’re safe and you do all of the good things that you are destined for.
If I’m still here when you return, I promise I won’t seek you out.
This is probably so much better anyway. I’d probably forget all that I wanted to say to you if I was trying to do this in person. Or I’d be too embarrassed.
Anyway, know that I wish you nothing but happiness. I hope you can find it because you deserve to have it. Maybe if we are apart, my need to see you, to be near you will get weaker over time and eventually I won’t think about you.
I know I’m just kidding myself in thinking that I’ll somehow forget you. I won’t. Even when the fates decide that they made a mistake when they paired us together and you are matched with someone who you can accept. Someone who isn’t damaged like I am.
Look, I get it. I understand. Not everyone can accept a mate that has been through what I have. My only hope is that someday, you and I both can find what we need in life. That we’ll be given the chance to move beyond my past. Our shared past.
I truly do wish you nothing but the best. I was going to search for you to apologize, but you were on assignment and your packmate said he’d give you a letter for me.
I know it’s not as impactful as saying the words in person, but I got the message.
You don’t want to see me, and I am going to make sure you don’t have to anymore.
Good luck, Dante. You and all of the enforcers are doing something I couldn’t. I’m not nearly strong enough to do what you do, and I don’t mean physically, but that as well. I hope you are gifted what you deserve, because you deserve so much more.
Banner
I stared at the crumpled pages with a myriad of emotions going through me. Did he truly think so little of himself that I didn’t want him? I thought about that for a moment. Of course he did. What else would he think? I barely talked to him, and I left on assignments without a word to him.
I thought back to what Augustus said. If I didn’t want Banner, he would gladly take him. Did that mean my packmate was moving in on my mate? Fuck that. He couldn’t have him. I was suddenly very pissed and stood to go rip Augustus’s head off.
“Stop right there.”
I froze and turned slowly. “How did you know I was here?”
“We know where others are all the time.” The tall, dark-haired fate shrugged. “That and we asked the goddess.”
I nodded slowly. “Did you need something?”
“Not exactly.” Thomas looked at his fingernails, then refocused on me. “You have been thinking that Banner would be better off without you, so I’m here to grant that wish. He will be gifted another mate. One that will appreciate him for how wonderful he is.”
I glared at Thomas. “Now, wait a minute.”
“Excuse you?”
I narrowed my eyes. “You can’t just take my mate away.”
“Why not? Others have voiced interest in him. We can simply remove the match and pair him with Augustus or Felix. Both would be more than happy to have him as theirs.”
I growled. It probably wasn’t my most shining moment, but what did one do when presented with such a conversation. “I didn’t technically say I didn’t want Banner. I said he deserved better. I wasn’t able to save him or the others. He deserves someone who can save him, protect him.”
Thomas rolled his eyes. “Do you honestly think that you can’t protect a mate?”
“I can now. But then, I couldn’t.”
“Of course not. At that moment in time, you were no more powerful than an oversized puppy dog.” Thomas sighed. “You were outnumbered by at least a dozen, and they had guns. Why is it that you believe that you don’t deserve a mate or to be happy and have a fulfilling life with someone?”
I shook my head. “Banner is sweet. I’ve done things.”
Thomas scoffed. “Haven’t we all. Stop with the excuses. Either you want him, or you don’t. You have about two seconds to make your decision, or I’m going to let my own love of my life choose a different mate for him. It’ll be either Augustus or Felix. You pick.”
I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I bent over, trying to catch my breath.
Everything started spinning, and I fell forward, landing on my head.
I winced at the pain from the sudden impact before I rolled over.
The fall seemed to be what I needed, though, because I could breathe again.
When I looked up, it was to see Thomas standing over me, his crystal-blue eyes showing concern.
“Are you all right?”
I sighed. “Doubtful.” I sat up. “I want to say I want Banner, but I think he would be better off with someone else.”
“Ah.” Thomas sat down on my small bed. “Have you considered how you will feel when you see him with someone else? With your packmate? Or the fae enforcer? Will that cause issue with you?” I suddenly felt incredibly sleepy and found myself lying on the small bed.
I tried to fight it, but I saw Thomas’s face smiling down at me.
“It is absolutely no use,” Thomas said. “You cannot fight what I desire. But I can show you what it would be like when you are presented with them and their happiness every day. You will only be given just a bit longer before what you see will become reality.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I suddenly saw myself back on Treasure Ridge.
But I knew I wasn’t actually there somehow.
I was walking through the cleared snowy path during the evening, and I could hear laughter.
Ahead of me was a gathering of some sort, and then I saw them.
Banner was there, but he wasn’t alone. Beside him was a slender, dark-haired man with his arm around him.
I knew that person. It was Felix. When he leaned down and kissed Banner, I wanted to go and rip them apart, but I couldn’t seem to move.
When Felix stood up, Banner was smiling up at him.
It was then that I noticed Banner’s rounded stomach.
Felix placed his hand gently on it, and then the couple walked away.
I tried to follow, wanting nothing more than to get to Banner, but I was stuck.
I could not move from where I was, and it was irritating my beast.
The vision in front of me darkened, and then I found myself staring at the ceiling of the small cabin I’d magicked in Antarctica.
I blinked several times, then felt a sharp pain in the center of my chest. When I reached up and rubbed it, I realized there was nothing there.
That didn’t stop the pain though. I sat up and looked around.
I was alone. Thomas was gone. Had he ever been here?
Was he telling me he had chosen to pair Banner with Felix instead?
Thinking about that, recalling what I’d seen pained my chest again.
Was it too late? Had I lost Banner because I’d been too dumb to recognize our connection and claim the omega?
I knew what I had to do, but was it too late?
I stood, glanced around the cabin, and with a thought, it was gone, leaving me standing in the snowy landscape of Antarctica.