Epilogue Part One
Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam stayed in London, working on changing his lifestyle.
He avoided going to Darcy’s and Master’s joint wedding in late January since doing so would put him in Charlotte’s company.
Being in her company while still uncertain of their future together would have hurt them both far more than simply avoiding her altogether. Fortunately, Darcy understood.
As for changing his lifestyle, it was far easier than he expected.
Giving up gambling went a long way toward his goals.
He also reduced the frequency with which he replaced his civilian clothing, relying more on his army uniforms, the cost of which were already covered by the portion of his income set aside for army expenses.
The two other areas where he was able to save quite a bit was in giving up expensive drinks and in giving up his horse and curricle. Giving up drink wasn’t too difficult except when he was at his club, which was much less often. Giving up his horse and curricle was much harder.
He didn’t actually sell them, since he was fairly certain he would need them in the future no matter what happened, but he wanted to know if he could do without them if necessary.
He still had the horse he used for his army duties, which he could ride for exercise and leisure.
Other than that, he found himself walking everywhere.
Surprisingly, he found walking to be quite pleasant. He didn’t have to wait for the horse to be hitched. He could simply leave the house whenever he wished. The only time it was a problem was when the weather was particularly bad, and in those times, he simply didn’t go anywhere.
To fill up all his new free time, since he wasn’t gambling or drinking with his friends, he took out a subscription to a lending library and began reading more.
He also visited his mother and his cousin, Georgiana, more often, and dined with his parents at least once a week.
When he simply couldn’t stand to sit still any longer, he went for a ride or for a long walk.
In doing so, he gradually explored the city far more thoroughly than he ever had before.
He discovered new and interesting shops, historical locations that were not well-known, as well as much less savory sights that opened his eyes to how terrible life could truly be.
When Darcy and Elizabeth returned to London after their wedding journey, Richard found himself often spending the evening with them when they were not going to various parties.
Surprisingly, other than losing the opportunity to gamble with his friends, his social life didn’t suffer a great deal.
He was still invited to balls, parties, and other gatherings.
At first, he was concerned that if he wore his uniform instead of his formal clothing, he would be ridiculed.
In fact, the opposite occurred. In his uniform, he was more popular with the ladies than ever before.
While that would have been a delightful discovery a year ago, Richard found that it made no difference to him now.
In every conversation with every lady, he could not help but compare her to Charlotte, and every time, Charlotte was proven to be superior to all of them.
Dancing and chatting with the ladies of the ton only made him miss her more.
If asked, he would be hard-pressed to say exactly what it was about her that he missed.
Perhaps it was her fundamental kindness that was buried beneath multiple layers of sternness and practicality.
Perhaps it was the way they communicated so easily and so effortlessly.
Perhaps it was simply the way she looked at him with suppressed passion.
He did not know, nor did he care. Now that he knew that Charlotte Lucas existed in the world, no other lady appealed to him in the slightest.
As the end of March approached, Richard calculated all his expenses.
Surprisingly, he had not only come in under budget, but he had beaten his goal by five pounds.
That was even with the fact that he had spent one night each month gambling with his friends, though he had set a strict limit as to how much he could afford to lose on those nights.
An intense urge to go running back to Charlotte to tell her how successful he had been rose within his breast, but he shoved it down. He had promised to try for six months, not just three. He needed to know if he could repeat it, if he could be happy living a more restrained life long-term.
The next day, when he visited his mother, she pulled him into her study. Richard was concerned at this. His only memories of being pulled into this room were when he was in trouble for some reason or another. He wondered what he could have done wrong this time.
“I received a letter from Catherine this morning,” she said. “It was the third one in the last week. She is demanding to know why you are ignoring her letters and refusing to visit her.”
Richard sighed. He and Darcy visited his aunt, Lady Catherine, every year at Easter, usually staying for a fortnight. This year, Darcy was not invited, since Lady Catherine still held a grudge against him for not marrying her daughter.
Richard decided to forgo the trip simply because he could not bear to be in company with Mr. Collins.
Since he could not possibly explain his reasons to his aunt, she had sent half a dozen letters to him asking him to reconsider.
When he never replied, she must have turned her attention to his mother.
“I simply do not wish to visit her this year,” said Richard.
His mother gave him a piercing look. After a few moments, she said, “You have been behaving oddly ever since you returned from Hertfordshire. You visit me more often, even going so far as to dine with us at least once a week. Before, I was lucky if I could get you to dine here once a month. I have also heard that you visit your club much less frequently. Some are even saying that you must be going broke, because you refuse to gamble. Richard, is something wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong, Mother,” he said. “I have only realized that I might be happier if I spent less on unnecessary things.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Keeping up appearances could be considered necessary,” she said. “Do you not realize that it reflects poorly on your father if you start penny-pinching like a merchant? What’s next? Will you be setting up a shop?”
“It isn’t like that,” said Richard more firmly. “I will not become a merchant or a tradesman of any kind. I am only attempting to spend less money.”
“Why? Why this sudden need to live so meanly?”
Richard sighed. He should have expected this, but he had not. Neither of his parents had given any indication that they noticed anything whatsoever.
Before he could formulate an answer, she asked, “Richard, are you broke like the rumors say? Have you lost too much gambling or made some kind of poor investment?”
“No, Mother,” he said both gently and firmly. He truly wished to assuage her fears. “I have simply decided to live on less than my income allows.”
“Then please tell me why,” his mother demanded once again. This time she waited for a reply.
“I have met a young lady that I would very much like to marry,” he said.
“However, her dowry is not enough to allow for the kind of life I am used to and still provide for her and our children. I am attempting to see if I would like the kind of life I would be reduced to if I married her. So far, I find that I do. I’ve been a little bored, but I suspect that would change once children come along. ”
“I assume she is someone you met in Hertfordshire,” said his mother. “Richard, how on Earth did you fall in love with some poor country girl?”
“First of all, she is not poor,” said Richard sternly. “She has a dowry of four thousand pounds. Not extravagant, but certainly not nothing. Secondly, she is the daughter of a knight and a gentlewoman. Mother, you will not talk me out of this, so I beg you not to insult her any further.”
His mother simply blinked at him for what seemed like eternity.
Then the questions began. Richard did his best to answer everything honestly.
In the end, she seemed to relent. “Well, she might not be quite up to the level I expected you to attract, but if she is all that you say, I suppose she will do well enough. I do have one last question, though. Why did you not come to us in the first place to see if we could help you?”
“Father made it perfectly clear that my position in the army was all I could expect from him. I assumed it would be fruitless. So, I said nothing.”
“Well, that may be true of your father, but it just so happens that I might be able to help you, myself,” she said. “Do you remember my Great Aunt Audrey?”
“Is she still alive?” asked Richard. “Good Lord, she must be more than ninety years old.”
“She was eighty-nine when she died in December,” said his mother.
“She left everything she had to me, including a nice little house and a significant amount of land. I was going to sell the property and contribute the money toward your niece’s dowry, but if it will get you to stop behaving like a pauper, I think it would be better to give it to you. ”
“Mother, are you serious?” When she nodded her head, he said, “How much is it?”
“Well, the property itself is not worth much since it is not improved and is in a remote location, and the house is not large. All told, it is probably worth four or five thousand pounds. There was also her money in the funds, which was a little more than five thousand pounds.”
“That is perfect!” cried Richard. “That brings me to exactly the income I wanted in order to be able to propose. If you are sincere in your intentions, then I would like to go back to Hertfordshire immediately.”