Chapter 30
Micah
Monday morning, I wake up to a text from Harper.
Harper
Quick question…how do you know if you’re actually hearing God’s voice or if it’s just your own thoughts?
I stare at the screen, still half-asleep, and smile.
Micah
Good morning to you too, Freckles.
Harper
Good morning, Dimples. Now answer the question.
I sit up against my headboard, Biscuit immediately climbing onto my chest to investigate.
Micah
It’s a good question. Honestly, I think it’s about alignment. If what you’re “hearing” aligns with Scripture, if it leads you toward love and peace rather than fear and chaos, if it builds up rather than tears down, then that’s probably God. Our own thoughts tend to be more self-focused.
Three dots appear, then disappear, then appear again.
Harper
That makes sense. Thanks.
Micah
Anytime. Is everything okay?
Harper
Yeah. Just thinking about a lot of stuff.
Micah
Want to talk about it?
Harper
Maybe later. I’m processing.
Micah
I’m here when you’re ready.
Harper
I know. That’s why I texted you first.
I set my phone down and look at Biscuit. “She’s texting me faith questions.”
He chitters.
“I know. It’s a good sign. She’s engaging. She’s thinking about this stuff. She’s not just going through the motions anymore.”
Biscuit squeaks, like he’s skeptical.
“What? I’m being objective.”
He gives me a look that clearly says, sure you are.
“Okay, fine. Maybe I’m also falling harder. But that’s secondary. Her relationship with God comes first.”
Biscuit climbs off my chest and disappears into his tunnel system, clearly done with this conversation.
My phone pings again.
Harper
Another question. What does it mean to abide in Christ? Like practically. In everyday life.
I lean back against the headboard, thinking.
Micah
It means staying connected. Like the vine and branches thing. Practically, it looks like starting your day talking to Him. Reading His Word. Bringing Him into your decisions, your worries, your celebrations. Making Him part of your everyday life.
Harper
So, like...talking to Him the way I’d talk to a friend?
Micah
Exactly like that.
Harper
That feels too simple.
Micah
The best things usually are.
Harper
Thanks, Dimples. You’re really good at this.
Micah
At what?
Harper
Making faith feel less scary.
I stare at those words for a long moment, my throat tight.
Micah
That’s literally my favorite compliment anyone’s ever given me.
Harper
Well, it’s true.
Micah
Harper?
Harper
Yeah?
Micah
I’m really proud of you.
Three dots come and go across the screen.
Harper
Thanks. That means a lot.
I set my phone down and try to refocus on the day ahead of me.
But all I can think about is the fact that Harper Mitchell is texting me first thing in the morning asking about faith. Real questions. Deep questions.
She’s seeking. She’s growing.
And I get to be part of it.
Even if it’s killing me that I’m also completely in love with her.
I’m in the middle of meal-prepping for the week when Gray texts.
Gray
Guys night. My place. 7pm. Mandatory attendance.
Micah
Who else is coming?
Gray
The usual group. Ivy’s going to Harper’s with Olivia. So you have no excuse.
Micah
I wasn’t making excuses.
Gray
Good. Bring snacks.
I show up at Gray’s house at 7:03 with a bag of chips and some guacamole.
Adam and Marcus are already there, sprawled on Gray’s couch.
“Micah!” Marcus calls out. “Finally. We were about to start without you.”
“Start what?” I ask, setting the chips on the counter.
“Guy’s night,” Gray says, emerging from the kitchen with a pizza box. “Which apparently means we eat junk food and pretend we have our lives together.”
Adam laughs. “Speak for yourself. I’m thriving.”
“You told me this morning you forgot your anniversary was this weekend,” Gray says.
“Yeah, yeah.” He says, grabbing a slice of pizza.
I grab a plate and settle into the recliner while everyone else argues about what to watch.
We end up with a basketball game on in the background, but nobody’s really watching it.
“So,” Marcus says, pointing a chip at me. “What’s going on with you and Harper?”
I nearly choke on my guacamole. “What?”
“Gray mentioned you’re helping her out with some...situation?”
I shoot Gray a look. “Did you tell them?”
“Tell them what?” Gray says innocently. “That you’re fake dating a girl to make her ex jealous while simultaneously falling in love with her? No, I kept that to myself.”
Adam’s eyes widen. “Wait, what?”
“It’s complicated,” I mutter.
“Clearly,” Marcus says. “Explain.”
So I do. I tell them about the gala, about the fake dating arrangement, about how it was supposed to be one night and now it’s turned into this whole thing.
I don’t tell them about the kiss. Or the almost-kiss. Or the way my heart races every time she texts me.
But I think they can tell, anyway.
“Man,” Adam says when I finish. “That’s rough.”
“It’s fine.”
“Is it?” Marcus asks.
“Yes.”
“Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like you’re setting yourself up to get your heart broken.”
“I’m aware of the risks.”
Marcus leans forward. “But why are you doing it? If you know it’s going to hurt, why keep going?”
I’m quiet for a moment, trying to find the right words.
“Because she’s growing,” I say finally. “Her faith. She’s asking questions now.
She’s wrestling with what it means to follow Jesus instead of just performing Christianity.
And if playing the fake boyfriend helps her feel safe enough to do that, if it gives her space to figure things out, then it’s worth it. ”
“Even if she ends up with the ex?” Adam asks.
The question hits harder than I expect.
“Even then,” I say, though my voice wavers slightly.
Gray is watching me with an expression I can’t quite read.
“You really care about her,” Marcus says. It’s not a question.
“Yeah. I do.”
“Have you told her?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because she needs to figure out her relationship with God first. Without the complication of me confessing feelings and making everything about us instead of about her and Jesus.”
“That’s very noble,” Adam says. “And also probably going to destroy you.”
“Thanks for the encouragement.”
“I’m just being honest.”
Gray stands up, grabbing another Pepsi from the fridge. “Okay, enough about Micah’s complicated love life. Who else has updates?”
“I got a second date with that girl I told y’all about last month,” Marcus says.
“That’s great, man,” I say. “Congrats.”
“Thanks. I’m nervous, but also excited to see where this goes.”
Adam grabs another slice of pizza. “Lilly and I are looking at houses. Finally outgrowing the apartment.”
“That’s huge,” Gray says. “Any luck?”
“A few contenders. We’ll see.”
There’s a pause, and then Marcus looks at Gray. “What about you? Any updates?”
Gray sets down his drink, and something shifts in his expression. “Actually, yeah. Ivy and I have been talking about it for a while, and we decided...we’re trying for a baby.”
The room goes silent.
Then Marcus practically jumps off the couch. “What?”
“Seriously?” Adam grins. “Gray, that’s amazing!”
“Yeah.” Gray runs a hand through his hair, looking equal parts excited and nervous. “We decided back in December, right after Christmas. We figured, why wait, you know? We’re married. We’re stable. We want kids. So...yeah.”
“How long have you been trying?” I ask.
“Few months now. January, February. No luck yet, but we’re trusting God’s timing.”
Marcus claps him on the shoulder. “Man, that’s incredible. You’re going to be a dad.”
“Hopefully,” Gray says. “If it happens.”
“It’ll happen,” Marcus says confidently. “You and Ivy are going to have the cutest kids.”
“Assuming they get Ivy’s looks and not mine,” Gray jokes.
“Hey, you’re not that bad,” Marcus says. “Slightly above average.”
“Wow. Thanks.”
I’m still processing. Gray and Ivy. Trying for a baby.
“That’s really great, man,” I say. “I’m happy for you guys.”
“Thanks, Micah.” Gray looks at me, and there’s something meaningful in his expression. “We’d love for you to pray with us about it. If you’re willing.”
“Of course.”
“Actually,” Gray says, glancing around. “We should probably do prayer requests. That’s what guys night is supposed to be about, right? Not just eating pizza and talking about basketball?”
“I thought that was exactly what guys night was about,” Marcus says.
“Come on. Five minutes. Let’s actually be intentional.”
We all settle back into our seats, and Gray starts.
“Okay. I already shared mine. Ivy and I are praying for a baby. Pray for patience. Pray for trust. Pray that we don’t get too anxious about the timing.”
“Got it,” I say. “I’ll add that to our list.”
Marcus goes next. “Pray for my dating life. Oh, and for my little sister—she’s going through a rough breakup and it’s hitting her hard.”
“On it,” I say.
Adam shifts. “Lilly and I are praying about the house situation. That we’d find the right place at the right time. And also that I can plan something special for our anniversary this weekend.”
We all laugh.
Then they look at me.
“What about you, Micah?” Gray asks. “What can we pray for?”
I hesitate.
Because the honest answer is: Pray that I don’t completely fall apart when Harper doesn’t choose me. Pray that I can walk alongside her in her faith journey without making it about my feelings. Pray that I can be okay with just being her friend if that’s all God has for us.
But I don’t say that.
“Just... pray for wisdom,” I say finally. “With Harper. With the whole situation. That I’d know when to step back. When to speak up. How to point her to Jesus instead of to me.”
Gray nods slowly. “We can do that.”
“And maybe pray I don’t completely lose my mind in the process,” I add with a weak laugh.
“Definitely praying for that,” Marcus says.
Gray stands. “Alright. Let’s do this.”
We gather in a loose circle, and Gray leads us in prayer.
Later, after Adam and Marcus have left, Gray pulls me aside.
“You doing okay?” he asks.
I sigh. “I don’t know, man. She’s been texting me all week. Asking questions about faith. Genuine questions. And it’s amazing. I love that she’s seeking. I love that she’s growing. But it’s also...”
“Hard,” Gray finishes.
“Yeah. Because every time she texts me, I want to believe it means something. Like, maybe she’s thinking about me too. But I know she’s probably just processing. Figuring things out. And I’m just the guy who can help her do that.”
Gray is quiet for a moment.
“You know what Ivy told me the other day?” he says finally.
“What?”
“She said Harper’s been different. That she’s been opening up more. Being more honest. Asking harder questions.” He pauses. “And she thinks it’s because of you.”
“That’s not because of me. That’s God.”
“Maybe. But you’re the one who’s been walking with her through it. You’re the one she keeps coming back to.”
“Because I’m safe. I’m the friend who knows about faith stuff.”
“Or,” Gray says carefully, “because she trusts you. And maybe that means more than you think.”
I want to believe him.
But I can’t let myself hope like that.
Not when I know how this could end.
“Just be careful,” Gray says. “I know you’re trying to do the right thing. I know you’re putting her first. But don’t forget to protect your own heart too.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
I don’t answer.
Because the truth is, I stopped protecting my heart the moment Harper Mitchell asked me to be her fake date.
And there’s no going back now.