9. Skylar
Chapter Nine
SKYLAR
Sitting on the couch, I wrapped my arms around my knees with my chin resting on them and stared out the window. The inky black surface of the ocean glittered under the moonlight.
I was pretty sure Susie was crazy to think Tucker and I could have anything like a romance. That kiss was a fluke. Plus, me and romance equaled total disaster. I knew what would happen. I’d start to panic because it was easier to stay abandoned than to let myself hope for something else.
I sighed. “What should I do, Emily?” I whispered into the darkness.
You could give yourself a chance.
Sometimes, I felt like she talked to me, but then I felt a little crazy. She said that a lot—that we should give ourselves a chance. She would say it to herself and to me.
When I’d traveled to Alaska, in part, I’d done it because the trip was already set up. She’d found the rental for us. We’d applied for jobs together, and I’d been shocked when I’d gotten one after a video interview.
I came here thinking I would do what Emily said and give myself a chance. In all of that, romance was never in the equation. Simply finding a life and landing on my feet felt like a freaking miracle.
On the heels of another sigh, I unfolded my legs, wondering whether I should try to go to bed.
Sleep didn’t come easy to me. Ever. I’d also never lived alone before this.
After foster care had bounced us out when we turned eighteen, Emily and I had lived together in whatever we could afford.
Sometimes, it was in one-room apartments, but it was always us.
It was weird to be alone. Emily had liked to sleep with a television on. I was trying to break that habit, but it was hard.
It was quiet here in Alaska, quieter than anywhere I’d ever lived in my entire life.
Once the gallery shut down, it was just me in the apartment upstairs.
Down the hallway, Risa rented out a room to an artist who I’d yet to meet.
I’d heard her working in there a few times.
She was never here at night, though. I padded into my bedroom, tugging the sheets and quilt over me and lying there.
My mind was static with thoughts pinging here and there.
Eventually, it quieted, and I fell into a restless sleep.