10. Tucker
Chapter Ten
TUCKER
A few mornings later, I wasn’t due to fly until the afternoon. I didn’t mind those mornings at all because that meant I could lounge in the kitchen at the lodge and eat whatever Daphne was making, which was always good. This morning was made-to-order omelets.
“What do you want?” she asked, smiling over at me.
“Whatever you want to make.”
“No, it’s whatever you want.”
“No, it’s whatever you want because you know what’s best,” I countered.
“How about smoked salmon and goat cheese with some red peppers?”
“That sounds amazing.”
“I’ve made it for you before,” she said as she rolled her eyes and promptly started making the omelet. She had this trick where she could crack two eggs at once. It was so cool.
“How do you do that?” I asked.
“Lots and lots of practice,” she said dryly.
A few minutes later, after I was halfway through my omelet, I commented, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes I’m jealous of Flynn.”
Daphne smiled. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t want the romance, but I want the food forever. He’s got the food forever.”
“As long as you work here, you’ve got the food,” she said lightly.
I grinned. “True, and I don’t plan to stop working here, so I guess I’ve got it all figured out.”
She busied herself with cleaning up. Flynn popped into the kitchen for another mug of coffee, departing a moment later and calling over, “I gotta make some phone calls in the office.”
“It’s my office,” Daphne called after him.
Flynn paused at the door, flashing a grin. “I won’t use it when you need it, I promise.” He winked and disappeared through the doorway into the hallway that led to their private apartment.
“That man,” she said, the affection clear in her voice.
It was just Daphne and me now. She didn’t mind silence, and I’d always liked that about her. She carried on doing whatever she was doing while I enjoyed my omelet and sipped my coffee.
“So, tell me about your life, Tucker,” she said, startling me.
“You know about my life, Daphne. I live here. I fly. That’s my life.”
“I know, but you have a sister and family.”
“Yup. Tori is a therapist. Every so often, she says she might move up here.”
“Yeah, and your parents live in Arizona. How are they?”
“They’re doing well. Happy and still together, so that’s a win,” I replied.
“Have you ever been in love?” she asked. Her tone was all light, but she didn’t fool me.
That’s why my spidey sense had been vibrating. “Maybe.” I shrugged. I took the last bite of my omelet, eyeing her as I chewed. After I finished, I set down my fork. “Cut to the chase, Daphne. You want to know something, just ask.”
She sighed. “Fine. Rumor has it you had a high school girlfriend, and something happened. I want to know what.”
My heart thumped an achy beat. “Why?”
“Because I want you to be happy, and I feel like you won’t let yourself, so I want to understand why.”
“I am happy.”
“Maybe, but you totally keep to yourself.”
“So what? You don’t need to play matchmaker for me. I swear to God I’m happy all by myself.”
My mind flicked to that kiss with Skylar. That damn kiss had led to me avoiding her twice in the past few days. Because I flew planes and she worked nearby, I crossed paths with Skylar on the regular. “Why are you asking about high school?” I prompted.
“Because our first relationships often shape us,” Daphne pointed out.
“Fine, I’ll tell you.” I just wanted to get this over with.
“I had a girlfriend in high school. I loved her, the way you can love someone in high school.” Even though it had been years, I had enough sense to know that once you were an adult, things were a little different when it came to love. “She died,” I said flatly.
I’d said that so many times the words came out smooth, but there was still a dull throb of pain. Grief was weird. Sometimes, it faded, and other times, it was a looming shape in the darkness that swiped at you so hard you could barely breathe from the pain of it.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” Daphne said softly.
“Yeah, me too. But I know you understand. You lost someone who mattered a lot, probably more than my high school girlfriend.”
“That’s not how it works. You can’t compare losses.”
I shrugged. “I really loved her, and life is really fucking unfair sometimes.”
“Yeah, it is. Is that why you don’t date?”
“Daphne,” I warned. She simply shrugged, cocking her head to the side as she waited patiently for my answer.
“You know, shit happens,” I finally said.
“Yeah, no shit,” she said bluntly with her slight Southern twang. “Is that a reason to write love off for the rest of your life?”
“Look, my life is good. I don’t really want to go through the love and loss thing again. Once is more than enough.”
“I think taking that attitude about it actually makes it worse,” she pointed out.
I didn’t appreciate the defensive feeling that rose inside. She might have been right, but I didn’t want to contemplate what that meant.
“Daphne,” I warned again.
“What, Tucker? You kissed Skylar.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Is that what this is all about?”
She shrugged, her lips twitching at the corners. “Maybe, maybe not. I like Skylar.”
“Don’t try to set us up. Don’t even think about it. That kiss was a mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Well, you obviously wanted to kiss her,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, but Skylar is nice. She might have expectations, and I don’t do expectations.”
“Actually, I don’t think she does.”
“Why?” I pressed.
Daphne’s eyes narrowed as she studied me. “I think she’s more cynical than you.”
Of course, because Daphne had the effect of tearing down my guard, I said, “She said a weird thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t ruin this, or something like that.”
“Don’t ruin what?” Daphne prompted.
“I don’t know. She kind of keeps to herself. I don’t know if she even has any friends.”
“We’re her friends,” Daphne said loyally.
Daphne was a mother hen kind of soul. Once she decided someone was in her circle, she took them under her wing and protected them.
“You could ask her what she meant,” she added.
“Uh, no, not gonna do that. I think it might be best if I just don’t kiss her again. We can stay on friend turf.”
Daphne rolled her eyes before her gaze sobered as she regarded me.
“Take it from someone who went through a difficult loss. It’s better to let yourself have something good afterward.
It’s almost like you earned it. Maybe if there’s a little balance in the universe, you already paid the worst toll.
Sometimes, I look around, and the people who don’t go through the hard stuff don’t have it figured out.
After you’ve already loved and lost, you know how precious it is. ”
My heart gave an achy throb. At that moment, Cat came skipping into the kitchen, and our conversation was cut off. That was a huge fucking relief. I liked Daphne. Hell, I loved her the way I loved all my friends. But damn, she had hit some sore spots.