13. Maxwell
Maxwell
“My god,” I groan, stretching my body after sitting in the car for an hour. “You drive like an old man, Mav. Did you lose the gas pedal?”
“Fuck you, buddy,” Mav laughs.
“He’s right,” Dax shrugs.
“It was a bit slow,” Clayton pitches in.
“Fuck all of you,” Mav says, pointing a finger at each of us before walking toward the entrance of the park.
“Your stomach ready?” I nudge Clayton’s arm before following Mav.
All I hear is a mumble that I can’t understand. Dax and him run to catch up with Mav and I. Mav and Dax pay for their tickets, and I pay for Clayton’s and mine before he can pull out his wallet.
“Stop doing that,” Clayton says, stepping closer to me.
“What?”
“Paying for everything.”
“It’s no biggie, really.”
Dax and Mav walk in front of us, Clayton and I staying side by side. We choose the biggest ride first and the line is long already, the sun belting down on us, sweat growing on our backs.
We chose the worst day to come here, but despite the heat I’m manifesting that we have a good day.
So many rides, fried foods, lemonades, and other snacks to consume today. My body is ready for it.
But Clayton… “Wait, you can’t have fried dough.”
“You knew that since day one,” he says.
“I know, but it just occurred to me how sad it is.”
“Wait… No fried dough?” Dax says in pure shock.
“Yeah, guys. No gluten,” I explain.
“What a tragedy,” Mav states. “I’m going to overdose on fried dough today. I deserve it. I’m old now.”
“You’re not even old,” I laugh.
Mav does a talking motion with his hands, causing us all to laugh.
I feel it in my gut that today is going to be a good day.
“God, I am exhausted,” Clayton says, leaning against the banister as we wait in line for the Ferris Wheel. The sun is setting, orange and pinks cascade the sky and it looks beautiful.
The golden hour glow does something to Clayton.
His jaw looks more prominent, the lower light casting shadows against his skin. His eyes seem to glow in the sun.
I’ve caught glances from him all day. Over the last few weeks. Every moment we are together. I think it’s working. I think that Clayton Reeves is falling for me.
This was all according to plan and I’m meant to break his heart, so why does it feel like mine is going to be the one that breaks when I pull the plug?
“We are heading home soon,” I respond. Just the two of us are going on the ride. Dax and Mav said and I quote ‘fuck that pussy shit.’
The line moves slowly and Clayton uses the railing to carry himself closer as it inches forward.
“You alright?” I ask.
“Yeah. I think I might have a sunburn on my neck. Definitely my arms,” he says, shoving his t-shirt sleeve up. His shoulder is pale white and it shows how red he is.
I pull down the back of his shirt, showing some of his back and can see how burned his neck is too. “Yeah, for sure. We can stop and get some aloe on the way back.”
“Next up,” the ride operator announces and that’s our cue. I hold onto Clayton’s arm to steady him.
We should definitely head back after this ride. It’s been a long day and he looks as though he’s going to pass out just standing.
As we get into the cart, the operator asks us if we are okay with a single rider coming with us.
Clayton says of course and acts all nice as he does.
We sit on the same side, the stranger sitting across from us.
Me and Clayton’s legs threaten to tangle, the cart almost two small for both of us to be on the same side.
I throw my arm up and rest it behind him.
As the ride moves up, going higher and higher, the sky with vibrant colors bright behind Clayton. The sight is too much for me and I have to look away.
“You two are cute,” the girl across from us says. Both Clayton and I whip our heads toward her.
“We are, aren’t we?” I say. His head whips toward me now.
“Don’t,” he whispers.
“What?”
“Don’t pretend. You’ll only break my heart.”
Silence falls around us, not wanting to say anything in front of the person we don’t know.
The ride goes. Stopping and starting to let people off.
We sit and take in the sight of the horizon, the view of the park, and all of the flashy lights on rides.
Today has been filled with adrenaline. Everything that I live for, but that single line from Clayton seems to make everything fade away.
Only thinking about that and nothing else.
The ride stops and the operator opens our gate, but the line is empty.
“Can we go again? Just us.” I ask.
“The ride is closing, sorry.”
“Just five minutes.”
“What are you doing?” Clayton asks, but I ignore him.
“Sir,” I began, but he cut me off.
“Five minutes.”
The gate closes and the ride begins again, but this time it never stops. Going in slow circle after circle since we are alone on this run.
“What do you mean I’ll break your heart?”
“All we are and ever can be is friends. Don’t give the wrong impression. I know you aren’t into guys, Max.”
“Are you into me?”
Silence.
A silence that speaks far louder than words ever could.
“Why haven’t you told me?”
“I don’t want things to be weird. This?” He motions a hand between us. “It isn’t anything more than being friends. I don’t want anything to change between us. Being around you and your friends is the first time that I have felt seen in years.”
“Clayton..” I trail off not knowing what to say.
“Don’t say anything, alright? Just forget it, alright? It doesn’t matter if I have feelings because I’m keeping them locked up.”
“Did I do something that made you fall for me?”
He laughs at me. “You did everything, Max. You were the first person I trusted to tell, outside of my old best friend, what happened to me. You listened and you changed your party rules. Even if I didn’t step foot into a party you threw, you still had closed bottles.
You show up when I call. You pay for everything around me.
You did everything right whether you meant to or not. ”
“I… didn’t mean to make you fall for me.” I lie.
“Let it go, alright? All good here,” he says. His voice is calm, but I know him well enough to hear the shake in it.
The wheel stops and the operator opens the mini door, letting us off.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Clayton says. “I’ll meet you back with Maverick and Dax.” I nod, saying nothing and heading over to where they wait across from the Ferris Wheel.
“You look tense, buddy, what’s up?” Mav says, noticing that I seem off.
“Clayton likes me.”
“That’s exactly what you wanted. It means that it’s time,” Dax says, voice deep as always.
They look at my face, seeing the expression across it and it’s as if the words are written right across my skin.
“You like him back.”
“I don’t know how it happened, but he’s so…”
“Kind?” Mav offers.
“Understanding?” Dax adds.
“Forgiving?”
“Funny?”
They volley back and forth offering words that I can’t seem to find or say.
“When you guys dared me to make Clayton fall in love with me, I thought you were crazy, but I did it because that’s what I do. When you dared me to break his heart,”
“Stop talking,” Mav says.
I ignore them, annoyed that they interrupted me.
“I thought that I was going to break his heart no problem because dares are easy.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Dax growls.
“It was a dare?”
My heart falls straight out of my ass and onto the pavement, melting into a puddle of nothing. Fuck that plug I had to pull, I want to push it so far back into the wall.
Turning around, Clayton and I stare at each other.
“Clayt-”
“Screw you, Maxwell.” His eyes are glistening with tears that threaten to fall and if I could feel my heart, I think it would shatter.
He walks away, but I follow after him. “Clayton, wait!”
“Leave me alone!” He yells behind him. People walking by us stare at him and me and my friends.
“Clayton, wait.” I ran after him. He picks up speed, but his legs are faster than mine. A bit longer, too.
Outside of the park entrance, he stops finally. “What, Maxwell?”
“Stop calling me Maxwell. I can’t stand the way it sounds; it sounds like hate.”
“I just poured my heart out to you. You turned around and threw it in my face!” His arms flail up and drop to high thighs.
He winces because of the sunburn on his arm.
“The last few weeks I’ve been spiraling and trying to shove my feelings for you down, down, down.
I didn’t want you to know because I didn’t want you to leave, but now I know this was your plan all along.
You wanted to hurt me, Maxwell? Well, good fucking job! I hope you're happy!”
“Okay, yeah, it was a dare, but it turned into something real for me. You’re real to me. I fell for you, okay? The dare doesn’t matter anymore. It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. It’s everything.”
“No, no. Don’t say that, please. It’s not everything. It doesn’t mean anything.” My voice cracks.
“If you can’t see that then that’s an issue. We only came into each other’s lives because of that dare. You never would have known me had it not been for it.”
“Maybe it was fate! Maybe it was meant to be this way.”
I dare to step closer to him, but he steps back, putting a hand up to keep me away.
“No, Maxwell.”