Chapter 24
24
“ I t wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.”
I stopped in my pacing to see Sam Payne, one of my classmates, leaning back against the computer lab’s door frame with a relieved grin stretching across his face. Sam was one of the few guys I interacted with in my computing classes, and— Oh, fuck. He was kind of a friend, wasn’t he? Why was I so bad at recognising the signs? Why did I always think the worst of myself?
“Your group presentation?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep last night, worrying about it, but it went well, I think.”
“ You couldn’t sleep?”
There must’ve been something in my voice because his brows rose. “Yeah, isn’t that a normal thing when you’re stressed about something?”
Maybe it was. “Uh…me too. I couldn’t sleep, I mean.”
“You’ll be fine. It’s honestly not as bad as you think.” He pushed off the desk. “Good luck. You’ve got this.”
I hoped with everything in me that he was right.
Connor and Niall entered the computer lab, closely followed by?—
“Finn?”
He came straight up to me, pulling me into a hug. “Don’t sound so surprised to see me. I wouldn’t miss this.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I’m here to support my best friend.”
I love you .
I didn’t say it aloud, but I wanted to, so badly.
“Thanks for being here,” I said instead, burying my face in the crook of his neck and breathing in his spiced apple scent. My heart rate slowed straight away, his calming presence surrounding me. Last night, I’d decided to spend it apart from him, instead choosing to stay up late with Connor and Niall, going through every aspect of our project, the three of us quizzing one another until we knew the material inside out. Finn had texted me in the morning to wish me luck, but I knew he was supposed to be in a lecture right now. It hadn’t occurred to me he’d come here instead.
But it should have, because of course he would. Because he was Finn Carsley.
Drawing back from me, he lifted the flap of the bag that was slung across his body. “Courtesy of my parents. Snacks for you all.”
Connor and Niall crowded around him as he began handing out energy drinks and protein bars while I watched, unable to stop the huge smile that was overtaking my face. Finn caught my eye and gave me a soft, private smile, and I had to bite the inside of my mouth to stop blurting out the words I could never take back. Maybe I’d tell him someday, but today was not that day.
Somehow, the three of them managed to successfully distract me from worrying about the presentation, and in between Connor and Niall throwing sample questions at me and Finn constantly at my side, giving me small reassuring touches, the time passed quickly.
A beeping sound came from Connor’s phone, interrupting his explanation of the additional options function, and we exchanged glances. It was time.
“Fuck,” I whispered, squeezing my hands together in an effort to stop the tremors.
“Leo. Come here.” Seated on the edge of one of the desks, Finn held out his hand to me. As I stepped up to him, he tugged me between his legs, his hands going to my shoulders and then rubbing up and down my arms. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. I promise.”
Leaning into him, I exhaled shakily, mumbling an apology against his shoulder. He sighed, wrapping his arms around me and pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. This is why I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Lifting my head, I met his gaze. “Thank you for being here.”
“Always, baby.”
Behind me, there was a loud sigh. “I feel so fucking single when I’m around you two.”
I twisted in Finn’s arms to see Connor pulling a sad face. Niall laughed, and Connor shot him a glare.
“Same when I’m forced to see you and your girlfriend, for that matter. Can all you couples fuck off?” His sad face disappeared. “Just kidding. You know I’m happy for you.”
Another series of beeps came from his phone before any of us could reply, and I didn’t know what I would have said. Yes, I’m single…I think, but I don’t know for sure. By the way, I think I might be in love with my best friend, and does that mean we’re still friends, or are we boyfriends? How do I know? Help!
“Let’s do this.” Connor opened the door. “Good luck, guys.”
“Good luck,” I echoed, meaning it, and after Niall and Finn had returned the sentiments, we exited the lab. Swallowing hard, I stepped up to the lecture theatre door.
Finn stopped me with a hand on my arm. “You can do this. Remember, you’re a Viking. My little lion.” He leaned forwards, brushing a soft kiss across my lips. “I’ll be right outside waiting for you.”
I nodded, my nerves returning in full force, making my breath catch in my throat, but I held his words in my mind, letting them give me the courage to enter the lecture theatre. I could do this. I was Leo. Lion .
It was time I lived up to my name.
All the preparation we’d done had paid off, and when it came to my turn to present alone, my brain worked on autopilot as I went through the material and explained the reasoning behind my decisions, exactly as we’d practised.
Somehow, I made it through the entire thing without any major issues, despite my sweating palms and elevated heart rate. My hands shook, and I stumbled over my words several times, but I reminded myself to take deep breaths, telling myself that I could do this. Knowing that Finn was waiting right outside for me helped me to make it through.
The one thing my nerves hadn’t let me do was to look at the people responsible for my grade. I knew it was probably better to make eye contact, but instead, I’d fixed my gaze on an empty row a little farther back in the lecture theatre. It might cost me percentage points when it came to marking my performance, but it was the only way I was able to make it through my presentation without falling apart.
When I finished, I dared to glance at my lecturer, and he gave me a tiny nod, which I hoped meant I’d done okay. The man next to him spoke my name, and I forced myself to meet his eyes, willing my impending panic away. This was the man who had introduced himself at the beginning as Dave Benson from Dataccelerate Consulting. He was the database expert and, therefore, was the person I needed to impress the most.
“Impressive work,” he began, and my mouth fell open. I clamped it shut almost straight away, but the damage had already been done. The corner of his mouth turned up as I sucked in a shuddering breath. “I’d like to begin by asking how many rows are in your database and whether you envision any limiting issues in a live environment?”
My brain went offline. Completely and utterly blank. Fuck. Panicking, my gaze shot to Connor and Niall, seated at the side of the room. Connor subtly held up both hands, his fingers outstretched, and it all came flooding back to me. This had been one of the questions we’d rehearsed. I cleared my throat.
“F-for the testing environment, we designed it with ten thousand rows. In the—the live environment, we would host it on a bigger platform. Uh, so there would be scope to increase the database potential to a hundred thousand, which we calculated would give the booking site a ten-year lifespan, taking into account the occupancy rate and the number of rows needed for each customer’s information. Th-that’s including the booking extras.”
Dave Benson nodded. Was that a good nod or a bad nod? Not allowing myself to panic, I turned my attention to my lecturer, who was asking me a question about the booking extras, and from there, the rest of the questions flew by in a blur.
When the three of us had been dismissed and we’d exited the lecture theatre, I fell back against the wall, closing my eyes. We’d done it. I’d done it.
A wild rush of adrenaline crashed over me like a wave. I felt invincible in that moment, like I could take on the world.
My eyes flew open as I was yanked into a hard body, spinning me around.
“You did it!” Finn shouted, a huge grin on his face.
“I love you,” I breathed.
The world came to a standstill, and I was dizzy from being spun, so it took me a second to catch up. Finn was staring at me with wide, shocked eyes, his mouth open, and…oh.
Oh .
I’d just said those words aloud. Before we’d even had a chance to discuss whether we were still friends or maybe something different.
Alarms started blaring in my brain, and so I acted on instinct. I panicked, tearing myself away from him and making a run for it.
I didn’t get very far. Finn’s hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. The next thing I knew, I was being dragged inside an empty classroom, the door slamming firmly behind us, with Finn blocking the exit.
“Leo.”
I shook my head violently, glaring down at the floor and wishing more than anything I had a previously undiscovered superpower for burning holes through surfaces that would manifest right about now. It wasn’t only my face that was on fire, it was my entire fucking body, and there was a lump in my throat threatening to choke me.
“Leo,” Finn said again, and this time, his voice was so soft. He gently tugged on my wrist. “Look at me, please.”
Forget the presentation. Meeting Finn’s eyes was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
“Leo,” he repeated, and his gaze was so serious my body trembled. “I want to dare you to do something.”
I stared at him. What ?
“This is a dare you can turn down, and I promise it won’t affect our friendship either way. You’re my best friend, and that’s not going to change.”
“W-what’s the dare?” I whispered, my voice cracking on the words.
Pulling me closer, he brought his free hand up to cup my nape, his fingers sliding into my overgrown hair.
“My lion. You’re so fucking incredible, you know?” He swallowed hard and then continued. “I…I dare you to be my boyfriend.”
“Your boyfriend?”
“Yeah.” The corners of his lips curved upwards. “I think…I think we might already be boyfriends.”
Was this what it felt like to be high? I was floating, the warmth I’d felt earlier magnified by a million, spilling out of me as I lunged for Finn, throwing my arms around him and kissing him with everything I had.
When we broke apart, he laughed breathlessly, his eyes shining. “Was that a yes?”
“Yes. Yes. I accept your dare. I’ll be your boyfriend,” I said as seriously as possible, but I was smiling too hard for it to have the effect I was aiming for. “I was thinking the same thing as you. Or wondering. Whether we were boyfriends or if you even wanted that, or if?—”
“I fucking want it, baby.” His mouth slanted across mine again. “By the way, I love you back.”
“You what ?” I squeaked and then cleared my throat, attempting to speak at my usual lower pitch. “You do?”
“Yeah, I do. Fucking hell, Leo, you’re everything to me. I knew it already, but I dunno, it didn’t really register that what I was feeling was me in love with you because everything’s just been…”
“Like a natural evolution?” I tried.
“Yeah, that.” He gave me a soft smile. “So much. We somehow went from talking online to this, and I never even questioned it because it felt so right and so normal. Like it was meant to be.”
“It was,” I confirmed, making his smile widen, and it gave me the courage to continue. “You know you’re my favourite person in the world, right?”
“Yeah. You’re mine, too. No one else even comes close.”
That declaration led to another kiss that got hotter and hotter, until a loud rapping on the door had us springing apart.
“Leo! Finn! Save it for later! We need to celebrate,” Connor called through the glass, and I guessed the fun was over for now. Threading my fingers through my boyfriend’s— my boyfriend’s —I led us back into the corridor, where Connor and Niall were waiting.
“Finn’s my boyfriend,” I blurted out, still on a high and clearly not thinking straight.
Connor’s brows rose, and Niall just looked confused.
“Yeah…we know,” Connor said eventually. “That’s old news. Why are you bringing it up now?”
“Uh…”
“Never mind,” Finn said quickly after shooting me a sideways glance. “How and where are we celebrating?”
Niall jerked his finger toward the exit. “The student union because it’s closest and we deserve drinks. We’re starting with flaming sambucas.”
I groaned. “Please, no. Anything but sambuca.”