21. Astrid
twenty-one
Astrid
Later That Day
O n the drive to Brennan’s parents’ place, I replay our conversation from earlier.
I needed reassurance, which pisses me off.
Then again, I did something I’ve never done before. Set boundaries. Asked for what I want out of a relationship rather than going along for the ride and getting burned. And, Brennan promised to make space for us. I know he’s trying. Part of me wonders if he’s doing it to appease me or because he wants the same things as me.
I hope it’s the latter.
We park at his parents’ house and I feel a familiar swirl of emotions—anticipation mixed with a hint of unease. Sure, I’ve been here before, met his folks and his little brother and was welcomed warmly.
Tonight feels different. Everyone but Cillian is here. It’s kind of like an audition.
I hope I pass .
Brennan, who’s been quiet on the drive over, glances at me. His adorable, quirky smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “Ready?”
“Yeah.” I nod, though I’m not sure if I am. With everything happening—Cillian going to rehab, Brennan’s stress over CognifyAI—I don’t want to be an added responsibility. A burden.
As we walk up to the door, once again, Maureen anticipates our arrival before we even knock. Her face lights up with joy. “There’s my precious boy.” She throws her arms around Brennan.
They share a special bond, Brennan and his mother. For all his brilliance and tendency to isolate, he finds comfort in the familiar things in his life, like the steady presence of his family.
“Astrid, we’re so happy you’re here.” Maureen turns to me. “It’s so lovely to see you, darling girl. Come in, come in.”
We step into the house and the tension in my chest eases. Maureen is so welcoming. So genuine. Even though I immediately feel more at home here on my second visit than I do in my own house, I can’t help but slip into the polished, put-together version of myself when I see the rest of the McGloughlin clan milling around.
It’s automatic. A reflex. I’ve spent years perfecting this facade.
The living room is buzzing with energy. Connor, holding sleeping baby Teagan, chats with two tall, handsome guys whom I assume are Liam and Padraig. Seamus and Rory are beside them, engaged in their own conversation.
Brennan keeps his hand on the small of my back, quiet but not withdrawn. Something clicks for me—he’s actually at peace here. The vibe is the same as when I stayed with him in Palo Alto. When he’s surrounded by the familiar, by people who know him, he’s comfortable.
Connor spots us and ambles over. “Well, look who it is! Good to see you two all loved up.” He wraps a long arm around Brennan before turning to me. “Astrid, keeping busy?”
“Soon. Real estate season is around the corner.” I peek at his adorable little girl dozing in the crook of his other arm. “And, who is this gorgeous creature?”
Ronni slides in next to me, looking a little frazzled as one of the twins clings to her leg. “That’s miss Teagan, our angel child.” She reaches down and musses her son’s hair. “Torin, go find your brother.”
“I can’t believe she’s a year old.” Brennan peers over at Teagan in wonder.
Connor squeezes Brennan’s shoulder. “Well, you haven’t been in Seattle much. They grow up fast.”
“Yeah.” Brennan glances at me. “I’ve had a lot on my plate.”
Out of the blue, Tristan chases Toran and they both smack into Ronni, nearly knocking her down. “Ohmygod. Boys. You’re driving me crazy.”
“The two of youse. Time out.” Connor points to the sofa. “Ten minutes. No talking. No poking. No prodding. Behave yourselves. And, apologize to your mum.”
Impressively, they obey Connor immediately.
“You have your hands full.” I help her straighten her sweater when the boys are settled. “Three kids under five is no joke.”
Ronni nods and takes Teagan from Connor. “We’re managing. Barely. Thank God you found us the perfect house. I don’t know how we’d survive without the space. I’m going to get her fed before dinner, I’ll be fifteen minutes or so.”
As Ronni heads to the back bedroom, Brennan’s brothers approach and I find myself face-to-face with all four McGloughlins at once—Liam, Padraig, Seamus, and Connor. It’s like being surrounded by different versions of Brennan, each with their own quirks, but all with the same unmistakable Irish charm.
Connor, Liam and Padraig are deep in conversation about their respective bands, LTZ and Fireball, talking about upcoming tour schedules and such.
Seamus turns to me. “So, Astrid,” he offers me a polite smile, “how was your time in California with Brennan?”
“Magical,” I say honestly.
We both glance at Brennan, who is staring at his musical brothers, eyes glazing over as Liam and Padraig dive into technical talk about production on their latest album. It’s like he’s trying to appear to pay attention, even though he’s in his own head. Likely sorting through some algorithm.
Connor nudges him with his elbow. “Bren, you with us?”
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry, just…thinking.” Brennan’s focus snaps back immediately, though he blinks a bit as if waking up from a nap.
“He’s always like this,” Liam says fondly. “You’re solving the next big AI problem while we’re talking about stupid guitar riffs.”
It’s subtle, the way they do it. Connor, Liam, even Seamus, quietly guiding Brennan back to the present. They know his mind. The way he retreats into his own thoughts when he’s overwhelmed. How he likes things just so. No one coddles him. It’s like a gentle nudge when he needs it. No awkwardness or frustration—only love.
It’s beautiful.
I nearly choke up watching all of this unfold. I’m envious, truth be told. He’s a lucky man to have a family who accepts him for who he is. No questions asked.
I wonder how much of this Brennan is aware of.
Does he realize how much his family accepts him for who he is? Or, is there a part of him that feels like he doesn’t quite fit, even with them? It’s something I’ve been thinking about more and more lately, especially after spending time with him in California—and the past few days.
I’ve noticed how much Brennan likes routine. How he finds comfort in structure. It’s one of the things I love most about him—he’s so different from the men I’ve dated. Guys who are always looking over their shoulder for the next best thing. Or, chasing excitement and chaos rather than stability. When he’s focused on something, he’s all in. It’s refreshing.
Ohmygod .
Thinking back to our earlier conversation, I realize I may have read things the wrong way. Coming here to deal with Cillian’s crisis, when he’s so entrenched in his company dynamics, has thrown him off his game. He’s struggling to make his world feel manageable after being thrown a major family curveball. It doesn’t mean he’s not invested in our relationship.
Shit happens, sometimes.
I’m going to apologize when we get back to my place. I don’t want to put any additional pressure on him. My own issues have nothing to do with Brennan, and he doesn’t need to be anyone other than himself with me.
I love him.
All of him.
I never want him to feel like he has to change for me.
Maureen calls us for dinner and family chatter fills the room as we gather around the table. She’s outdone herself. The smell of roasted garlic and rosemary fills the air as she sets down a massive platter of slow-cooked lamb, perfectly tender with a golden crust. Next to it is a giant bowl of her famous buttery colcannon and a boat of gravy. There’s also a medley of roasted carrots, parsnips, and sweet potatoes glazed with honey and thyme, and freshly baked loaves of crusty Irish soda bread, still warm from the oven.
As we feast on the most delicious food I’ve ever eaten, Rory fills us in on the mammoth construction project he’s taken over while Cillian’s away. He seems fairly Zen about it, though everyone seems to be both frustrated and worried about the situation.
“Brennan, you’ve been unusually quiet today.” Seamus glances at his brother. “Everything okay?”
Part of me feels guilty. I hope the reason he’s not speaking isn’t because he’s worried about us. Stressing he’s not doing enough in our relationship. He’s not going to lose me, I need to clarify this when we’re alone again.
Brennan blinks at him. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.”
He’s totally worried about us. Shit .
“About work, no doubt,” Padraig teases, though there’s no malice in his tone.
Brennan smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah…”
I squeeze his knee under the table, trying to give him some comfort. He puts his hand on top of mine and squeezes back, but I can still feel the tension in his body.
After dinner, I help Maureen clear the plates. Brennan stays behind with Rory and Seamus, talking quietly about Cillian.
As we do the dishes, she glances over at me. “You’re great for him, you know.”
“You think?” I pause and meet her gaze, the soapy dish in my hand forgotten.
She nods, her smile warm and genuine. “He’s different around you. More at ease. He needs the balance you give him.”
“I hope so.” Tears well up in my eyes. I want to believe her. I want to believe I’m making a difference in Brennan’s life. That I’m enough.
“He’s brilliant, you know,” Maureen continues. “He’s always been different from my other boys. Not in a bad way, well, I’m sure you know.”
“Yeah.” I nod, though I’ve not been able to put my finger on it. He’s uniquely Brennan.
“Even as a little boy, he always needed structure. A project. A strict routine. It’s how he makes sense of the world. I see how you watch out for him, Astrid. I like you because you don’t try to change him. You…accept him.” She grips my hand in hers.
Her words hit me in the heart. I’ve always prided myself on being able to adapt. To fit into any situation. But with Brennan, it’s different. I’m not altering my life for him. He’s not changing for me. We accept each other. As we are.
It’s why we’re so special.
He’s let me into his world and I’m starting to realize how rare that is.
After we finish the dishes, I return to the living room where Brennan is sitting with his dad and Seamus. He catches my eye and motions me over.
God, I love him.
I love him for all the things he doesn’t say. For the way he tries to keep everything under control, even when it’s clear he’s struggling. He may not realize it yet, but he doesn’t have to carry all of this alone. Not anymore.
Never again.
Later, as we drive back to my houseboat, he takes my hand and places it on his thigh. “I’m glad you came tonight.” Brennan slips his hand over mine. “It means a lot to me.”
“I’m glad I came too.” I stroke his cheek. “I’m sorry about before. I guess I was feeling insecure.”
“About me?” He looks over, surprised.
I nod. “Yeah. I missed us.”
“Don’t give up.” Brennan’s thumb brushes over the back of my hand. “I promise, you’re the most important thing to me.”
“Never.” I kiss his cheek.
I lean back into the seat as the city lights blur past. Closing my eyes, I know two things for certain.
I love having Brennan in my life.
And, I love being part of his world.