Chapter 34
VALANCE
A flare of agony in my chest, the swell of shock stirring my heart.
“No,” I said. “No. No. No. This isn’t… This…” I moved back, Kormac steadying me.
“The power of your ancestors awaits you,” she intoned, almost in ecstasy. “You are the one to use the silver magic as it should be, to nurture Winter in its rebirth. To claim revenge on your enemies with great power, to avenge those who fell before you in these great lands. To take the world.”
I fell to my knees now.
“Valance!” Kormac came down with me, his hands on me.
“You’re… You’re lying…” I said.
“And why would I do that, Your Majesty? You are the new Tuatha. You carry the blood of the Tuatha, a dead blood I dreamed would come to life as it passed through the generations, doing nothing but being dead. And then you were born with your ‘cursed’ appearance, and the roses bloomed pink, and I read destiny within the stars. I knew hope had returned.”
“I… I…” My head was set to implode.
“A Sidhe but not a Sidhe. Greater than that. Special. Written in the stars, yet not quite there. Until Kormac.” Her horrible laugh was a living thing, a slimy energy in my scalp.
“He came into your destiny, showed his strength. Though the danger always remained that you would fail, I knew you wouldn’t with him by your side.
” Her eyes moved to the human. “You, Kormac, are a gift upon Faerie. An energy of healing, of undying. There is no death here while you are joined to your prince.”
He bristled around me. “What does that mean?”
“Honestly, I am not sure. Only that you had to be bound to Valance in order to share your strange gift. And it served him well, did it not? And here he is, alive and well.”
Shock rocked me as an earthquake, my senses unable to regain any semblance of composure. My world unraveled yet again, my heart struggling to cope. The revelation threatened to strike me down, to steal every breath.
“I can’t… I can’t stand this…”
Kormac rubbed my back, his head close to mine. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
I faced him, his eyes so near. “You… You… Your life isn’t what you thought. You’re not… You’re not human.”
“Who knows what he is?” Brigid said.
He positioned himself to rest his forehead against mine. “It’s okay…”
“Stop saying that,” I whispered. “It’s not.”
“Take your power, Your Majesty,” Brigid said. “Be the king you were meant to be. Claim the dark caress.”
There. That word. I pushed back against Kormac, getting to my feet. “Dark caress.”
“The caress of the Tuatha, the lost blood. It lives within you.”
“How? From where?”
“From ancient times. The blood moved through bodies. Dead and—”
“Yes, but who passed it to me?” I demanded.
She grinned. “Queen Orla, in her death, cast her last spell. She made her blood an infection, giving it to the Sidhe King Ronan. To awaken in him, to give the Tuatha a new chance. Begin a new line. But nothing happened. The blood remained dead, as I told you. Until now.”
“King Ronan?”
“He was the first, but you are the true first.”
“My dark caress…”
“Embrace it. Allow it to fill you. Come.”
Dark caress…
“The dark caress is evil?”
“It is power.”
“But the name—”
“Follow.”
She walked through the archway, leading us into a hall with no ceiling. Snow everywhere, pink roses blooming. Statues of men and women stood or slumped or lay everywhere. Covered in vines and roses and snow. Dull gray stone, crumbling away piece by piece under time’s hand.
You are here… the whispers spoke. You are the new hope.
Brigid led us to an even grander hall than this one. High ceilings with holes letting snow in, one wall missing, more roses and vines. More of those figures. A dais sat at the far end, topped with a broken throne, two smaller seats flanking it, all of them suffocated by roses.
So many figures, so much decay. A candelabra hung above the heart of the room, snowy and grimy, glimmers of shine peeping through. All of this place was the same, hints of the former décor lingering. The black and white floor tiles, the barely-there paintings, frayed drapes over destroyed windows.
“What is this place?” I asked, ready to pass out from shock.
“The throne room. The heart of the Winter court,” Brigid said. She walked amongst the figures. “You are looking at the Tuatha, the men and women of your court. A cursed court searching for a savior. They are dead now. But you can bring them back.”
“How?”
“With the power of the human.”
Kormac growled. “You manipulated us to regain power in the north. No. We’re done. We’re leaving. Fuck your becoming. You’re not using Valance, and you’re not using me.” He took my arm. “Come on, Valance.”
“Leave if you must, but you will die out there. The Winter landscape knows no mercy in these dead times.”
I hesitated, torn between leaving and staying.
However she liked to weave her tale, the Tuatha were stopped for a reason.
I believed in that reason. But I also believed in her.
We’d made it here. Things she had told us had fallen into place.
Kormac and I were meant to be together, for his odd healing power to keep me alive so we could be in this moment in this dark court.
“I can restore Winter,” I said.
I never truly belonged in Summer with my family. I was not a true Sidhe, as I was often reminded.
“It makes sense,” I said. “I am Tuatha.”
Kormac released my arm. “Valance…”
“We are exactly where we need to be, Kormac. The visions, why we were brought together despite the hate. We needed to save each other, to start a new life. We can’t leave.”
“I can’t be this,” he replied. “I don’t want to… Fuck.”
“We need time,” I told Brigid, being considerate of Kormac’s struggle. “This is overwhelming.”
I’m Tuatha? A dark fae? A king?
She held out a shard of silver, frost clinging to its edges. “In the snow, the light beyond the stars does shimmer. The union of hearts. The fruits of power.”
“I can’t do this,” Kormac whispered. “This isn’t the life I want. We should… We’re supposed to… I’m not… Fuck! I don’t know what to say or do or think.”
“I can look after you.,” I said. “I can keep you safe. I can fight our enemies with this power.”
“Yes,” Brigid interjected, still holding out the shard. “The king and his consort.””
“I’m not a fucking consort!” Kormac snapped. “We were supposed to be enemies, Valance.”
That hurt my heart, but it was truth. How did I respond to that?
Brigid shook with unsettling, silent laughter, pushing the shard closer toward me. “To claim the power, all you have to do is take this.”
“And then it’s mine?” I replied.
“Yes.”
“Why isn’t it yours?”
“Because it is yours. I am not worthy of such greatness. You are.”
My body tingled, sparks of desire for that shard. With one touch, I could, I could…
“I don’t know,” I said.
“You must, Valance. Otherwise, you came here for nothing.”
“I… How can Kormac help with his gift?”
“First, you must take this step.”
On the edge of change, of incredible power. The king of a dead fae race, a great magic at my command.
“Iron will be no match for you,” she added.
“When you have done the work to be at the highest of heights, no threat, no power on Faerie will be able to stop you. For you are Tuatha and you are Sidhe. You are a new blood, a creature never seen before. Think of the power of silver and seed joined to be an incredible force.”
“He didn’t know about silver magic until now,” Kormac said. “How can he think anything?”
Brigid licked her lips. “Do not fear, human. This is right. This the reward.”
He sighed. “I’ll be here, Valance.”
“Thank you.” I reached out and touched his face briefly.
He closed his eyes, anguish all over his face, through our connection.
“What about the soul bond?” I asked.
“It serves you always,” Brigid answered.
“What about the old queen? Won’t she want her power back if we bring her back to life?”
“She cannot have it. It does not belong to her now.”
The shard. Inches away. Mine to claim. A power…
Power.
I’d never truly wanted the Faerie Throne, but things had changed. I now wanted it destroyed, rebuilt, everything burned down to build anew. For my enemies and traitors to die. For the memories to die with them, for Daire to leave my heart, to burn myself down and become…
Become….
Become a king…
I took the shard.
The power entered me, a beast taking my breath, filling me up, and spilling over the edges of my soul. So much, so strong, so incredible.
Power.
So much power.
A magic of old. The skill to summon, to make, to destroy with great force of energy, to give care to the lands. Keep them within a steady flow of balanced existence, give to the snow and the soil and everything. Keep the snows from taking over, keep the ever-important balance happy.
A master of life.
My seed magic joined it, feeding it, giving it a new lease of life like never before. The berserker curse broke, absorbed into my magic as knowledge—something I could use for my own gains. To create with, should I wish to.
I saw them in my mind, the old kings and queens. Wielders of great power, leaders to nurture, to kill, to dream.
“I want the world,” I said, the hand holding the shard moving.
“Yes, Your Majesty. It will be yours.”
My hand stopped. I’d hit something. Magic flowed into me again. Another strange power of blue and green light. Warm and incredible and now mine. I floated upon its waves, engulfed in joy and knowing.
This was my destiny.
To be king, just not as I’d imagined.
To avenge.
To lead Winter.
A sharp intake of breath removed me from the wave, returning me to the cold reality of the dead hall.
And the shard buried in Kormac’s heart.