Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
G RANT
“Listen. While we wait for Fallon, I need to tell you something. I did a lot of thinking during this trip, and between things with Ethan falling apart and how much Fallon loves it out here, along with how much I miss you all… I met with a colleague in Highland State’s archaeology department, and she was excited about the projects I’ve been working on. There’s a chance something might open, and if it does, I’m thinking about moving back,” Aspen announces quietly as we get out on the porch of the family home. My eyes meet hers, and she must see the fear-stricken look in them because she presses her hand to my shoulder reassuringly. “Not now. Not until you’ve dealt with whatever this is that has you so worried. But once things have settled.”
“I can’t guarantee it’ll ever be settled. As much as I want you back here…” I’d wanted us all back in Purgatory Falls for so long, it hurts to try and deter her now.
“I think you need me back here. I think this family needs to be back together again. Us all splitting up to the winds… I think our parents would hate it.”
“I think our parents would want us to do whatever kept us safe. I know it’s what Dad would have wanted, especially for you.” I give her a pointed look. Aspen had always been the book smart one, off getting her doctorate while Levi and I were running bets and Ramsey was running the field. Our parents had always wanted her as far away from the chaos as possible.
“Yeah, well, they always underestimated how much I could take care of myself.”
“I know you can. Fuck. You might have to if this doesn’t end well. You know they’ll need you if it goes that way. Ramsey’s just finally getting his life back together after everything, and Levi. Well, if he makes it out and I don’t, he’ll be set on revenge. You know how he can be when he gets a singular focus. It’s an obsession for him. You’ll have to rein him back in, make him focus on something else.” I stare off across the ranch. I hate having this conversation, but it needs to be said.
“I hope I don’t even have to think about that. I can’t imagine this family, this town… None of it works without you.” Aspen looks at me thoughtfully. “I know you loved Dad, but you’re twice the man he was. I hope you know that. Smarter. More capable. More driven in ways he couldn’t even fathom. What you’ve done with the Avarice? How you’ve held this all together while we all ran off to have our fun? It’s not fair. Most people would collapse under all the weight of it, and you made it look easy.”
“I appreciate the deathbed flattery, sis.” I smirk at her, trying to deflect because I can’t take a compliment to save my fucking life, and my sister is so direct about the way she gives them.
“It’s not flattery. It’s truth. And here’s some more for you. If you get through this, put a ring on that girl’s finger and give yourself the time off you deserve. Spend some of your life doing what you want instead of what you think everyone else needs. The whole thing is gonna pass you by, and you’re gonna wish you had that time back. Money, success, power. None of it gives back the time you’ve missed with people you love.” Aspen gives me a sympathetic look.
“I don’t know that she wants a ring. I think once she’s over the shock and has some distance from this, she’s gonna realize she lost everything she loved because of me and hate me for it. I wouldn’t blame her if she did.” I lean on the porch railing, staring down at the wildflowers Hazel’s planted.
“The only thing she loves that she’ll be mad about losing because of you—is you . Don’t be that guy, Grant. Don’t be the one who thinks he knows better than she does. Don’t fall on your sword because you think it’s noble and break both your hearts in the process.”
“If I have to break her heart once so she doesn’t have to have it broken over and over again when I fail her, I’ll gladly do it the once. I just want her happy. Her life has been nothing but misery and struggle, and she’s the last person on earth who deserves it. Her heart is so fucking pure, so fucking good that I don’t even know what she sees in me.” I shake my head as I look back at Aspen.
“Herself.” Aspen looks at me like I’m clueless. “She sees herself in you, and you see yourself in her. It’s part of the reason you fight so hard to protect her.”
Such a simple statement. Such an obvious truth. And it hits me like a freight train.
“Mom! You ready?” Fallon calls, interrupting my thoughts .
“Come give your uncle a hug!” Aspen replies, and she comes running up the stairs, throwing her arms around me. I hug her back, still too shell-shocked to do anything but squeeze her in return as I look at Aspen over the top of her head. Aspen raises a single arched brow, and a small knowing smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. The same one our mother used to use when she knew she was right.
“I’ll text you when we get back in town. Love you.” Aspen hugs me one last time when Fallon lets go and then follows her down the steps.
“Have a safe flight!” I call after the two of them as they get into the waiting car.
I stand on the porch for longer than I should, staring out at the mountains past the fields, just wishing I could grab Dakota from inside the house, take two of the horses, and ride until we were lost and stay there forever.