Chapter 21 #2
Foamy detergent covers the car and colored fairy lights twinkle through it. He tries to get my pants off me as he’s sucking me off. I lift up to help him get them down and I slam into the back of his throat.
“Sorry,” I say.
My cock makes a popping sound out of his mouth as he comes up for air.
“Stop saying sorry, Jesus.”
The tip of his tongue works down to my balls and he laps at them.
“Oh my God...” I gasp.
The brushes are pummeling the car outside.
I have never felt this before. Every caress makes me hungry for more.
He starts working his tongue just at the cleft at the head of my cock while his soft hands caresses the rest. I run my fingers through his black curly hair.
We are both already moaning, but I’m loud, it feels good to make noise.
It also feels impossible not to make noise.
He was right about one thing; I love screaming his name.
“Mischa, Mischa. Oh god Mischa,” I cry, between my loud sweet primal “ohs” that automatically follow his movements.
My muscles are straining. From the way I’m screaming we both know I’m going to lose control soon. He speeds up and I let go. Cum squirts against the back of his throat and he drinks it down.
“Good boy,” he says.
We kiss again and our tongues connect and I taste myself. My legs are on either side of his hips. He starts to touch his cock, so I take it and start working it for him.
“Oh God baby,” he pants. “I want to fuck you so hard...”
The car wash starts blow-drying the car. Our time is almost up. I stroke him faster.
“Oh fuck,” he says.
The air-dryer stops. The car wash beeps three times. The truck is clean. I feel a slight alarm.
“You gotta come,” I tell him.
He grabs my hands and puts them to his throat. He starts jerking himself and I don’t understand. I hold his neck and kiss him tenderly.
“Choke me,” he says.
I’m not sure if I can. The doors start rolling up slowly. I grip his throat a little, while his eyes bore into mine. I squeeze a little more. He flushes red and squirts on me. Thank God. He dives down and licks the warm cum off me.
I look behind to check the next customer. The windows are steamy.
“Shit,” I say. “We fogged up the glass.”
He finishes licking my length and reaches up to leave a handprint on the window.
I look at the watery imprint. “No! Don’t do that!”
He laughs and puts his pants back on.
The car behind us beeps as he jumps in the front. He grabs his shirt and throws it on. The car behind beeps again.
“Keep your pants on!” he moans. “Some of us are trying to have sex.”
I’m on the floor of the backseat desperately trying to dress myself as he drives out.
“What about the windows?” I ask.
He winds them down, and turns the aircon on full. Then he sprays cologne, and pops a breath mint.
He smiles at me. “The perfect crime.”
I look at him. “You’re not supposed to be driving!”
“Oh whoops,” he starts laughing. “Not the perfect crime. Why are you still in the back?”
I get my belt on and look at the diner. Hayden and Sabrina are exiting.
“Shit, shit, shit!” I groan.
“Jump back in the front,” he tells me.
“You’re such an asshole!”
He howls with laughter. “But you knew that already.”
“It’s not fucking funny!”
“It’s all good,” Mischa beams with levity. “We took a minute out of someone’s day. They’ll live.”
I hook my belt just in time. Sabrina opens the door next to me and hops in, confused.
“Hi boys,” she beams.
Mischa is laughing so hard he can hardly catch his breath. “Hey.”
“Why were you beeping?” she asks.
“Mischa’s just being an idiot,” I splutter.
“Everything okay?”
“Just...” I say. “I’m in the back.”
“Okay... Why?” Sabrina frowns.
“I just am.”
Hayden looks between me and Mischa.
“Ride shotgun,” I tell him.
Sabrina turns to me quietly. “What’s...”
“Later, Kitten,” I say.
We reach the leafy road outside of Amherst where the long driveway to my house starts. Sabrina, queen of tact, wraps her scarf around Mischa’s neck from behind him. God, she is such a blessing.
“A goodbye present,” she tells him.
The gate opens for us automatically.
“How does it recognize my car?” Mischa asks. “Do you have a remote?”
I cough uncomfortably. “William must have buzzed us in.”
We pull up to the front door and get our luggage out.
Our foster-parents are watching from the rooftop terrace.
They lean over and say hello, but I don’t introduce Mischa, and just keep unpacking the car with my head down.
Isobelle arrives in the sports car next, and runs in the entranceway, into our foster mother’s arms. After a few moments William pulls up behind us with bags of take-out.
“We got dinner for everyone,” William explains.
I lied about William buzzing me in. Mischa caught that. Shit. He looks at me with curiosity. I don’t want to give any more away to this mind reader. I am also still mad at him, so I grab my bags and throw them inside.
“You want to come in?” Sabrina asks him.
“Nah, I better get back,” he says. “I need to go murder my brother.”
“Ooh!” Isobelle coos, “I’d love to join you. I get hot for bloodshed.”
“I believe you.”
“I hope we’ll see you again,” Sabrina tells him.
“Maybe,” he says. “I hope so.”
Isobelle smiles, and she and Sabrina hug him.
“Thanks for the holiday,” Mischa tells William.
“We’re cool, right?” he says, apologetically.
“I didn’t mean anything by it, with the kiss and everything.”
“I know.”
“Please don’t actually kill me.”
“No,“ he scratches the back of his head. “I just get really psycho when it comes to um... Austen... I’m sorry.”
“I wish I had a brother like you,” Mischa smiles, and throws his arms around him.
He looks touched by Mischa’s gesture, and I watch him brighten in a way that disarms me for a moment.
“You are a brother like me,” he tells Mischa, and hugs him back.
Mischa sure does have people skills. He’s turned a murderous lion into a kitten. Once everyone is through the door, I grab the last bag, and Mischa’s arm.
“I hope you’re satisfied now,” I tell him.
He shrugs with one shoulder. “I guess.”
“See you later.”
He searches my face. “Tell me you don’t want to see me anymore.”
“I don’t want to see you anymore,” I say, automatically.
That hurts him. He looks at the ground, mouth open. Why did I say that? Because he told me to say it. My exhaustion and annoyance is putting words in my mouth. Shit. I can’t backtrack and smooth this one right in the driveway. I just stand there, frozen. I am such an asshole. Such a coward.
“I... I didn’t think you’d say that,” he says, and thinks for a moment. He reaches out and shakes my hand. “We never know how much time we have. Thanks... for the holiday... and thank you... for everything else,” he clears his throat. “Have a nice life. I hope I see you in the next one.”
It feels unreal. He turns away, and I let him.
He stops and turns back, and pulls me into a hug. I’m rigid at first, but then hug him back. I still don’t know what to say.
“I need you to keep going,” he whispers in my ear, and holds me tight. “Even when it’s painful, when you think you can’t, even when you want it to stop, keep pushing forward. Don’t give up. You’ll make it, and I will never not love you.”
I let my lips secretly find his collarbone, a tiny spot between scarf and jersey, and kiss him there. His body tenses up, and he recoils from me. I let go, and see the look of pain on his face. He darts away to his car without looking at me again. I watch him zoom down the drive.
I didn’t leave him in the dust. He left me. I don’t even know his number. I stare into the void, and feel Sabrina’s hand pat my back.
“Should we watch Brideshead?” she teases, and sips her soda through a pink straw. “Or is it too soon?”
“You cheeky blighter!” I laugh, and grab her around the waist.
Isobelle and Kane are watching us from the door.
Sabrina sniffs my collar. “He smells really nice. You’re allowed to be with him, you know?”
“No,” I say. “I’m not.”
“He’s good for you. I could help you hide it?”
I shake my head. “I can’t risk it. Honey’s already insane and paranoid, and it will tip him over the edge.
I’ll regret it for the rest of my life either way, but this way protects us all from anything that could happen.
Stops James from getting to him too. Besides, he’s just infatuated.
He’ll grow to hate me. Find ways to hurt us.
Then we’ll hurt him before he gets a chance.
I either break his heart, or break his faith in humanity, and I don’t know which one is which. ”
“Nothing lasts, trust nobody,” she nods in agreement, and kisses my lips. “You gonna be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
I kiss her forehead and rub her back, and stand in the driveway holding each other and saying how much we love each other for an unhealthy, but desperately needed length of time.
I don’t know if I’m rid of Mischa for real. If past behavior indicates future actions, I’ll be seeing him every day for the rest of my damn life, but all at once, I am not so sure.
I watch movies with William and Kane and the girls.
Afterwards I go up to my wing of the house and hear the silence tingle in my ears like a weird background static.
I call the dogs, Rufus, a Rottweiler, and Rex, a Doberman, up to my room.
I throw a ball around with them to simply make noise.
That night they sleep on the floor inside the shrine with me so I can listen to the sound of them breathing.
I wake in the morning and find Isobelle and Sabrina have joined us, and are asleep on the shrine floor too, wrapped around me.
I can smell our foster parents cooking breakfast. Things are getting back to normal.
???
I start classes on Monday, and have band practice three days a week. I have some study to catch up on and so does my brother. We power through assignments between lectures. It’s all a blur of things to get done and study.