Chapter 17 #2
“I shouldn’t leave.” Damon looks off in the distance. Something stirs in the broken pieces inside me at him wanting to protect me, but that’s not who we are. Maybe we aren’t as broken as he’s acting. We want to be more, and to do that, we have to make sacrifices.
“You’re going.” I have to say it. He’s not blowing this over me. “We don’t waste any opportunity.”
“There will be other opportunities.” Damon glares at me. But I’m not letting this go.
“We don’t settle.”
He looks at me with a fierceness that I love, but right now, it also hurts.
“She’s right.” Hawk runs a hand over his hair.
“This isn’t just any opportunity. You don’t let it go.
Right now, you have Yale and Crowne Mawr.
Maybe in a few weeks, Coach will have a few other schools for you.
But what other school is going to work for all of us?
If I had a short list beyond Columbia, both Yale and Crowne Mawr would be on it. ”
I’m hurt and angry from Damon’s coldness—that I don’t deserve—and how he went after my mom, but I still love him and want what’s best, so I don’t drop my gaze from his.
“You don’t fuck your future up over this.
Even if there might be another chance, there are no guarantees.
We take what we’re given and run with it.
Go to the college. Find out if it will work for you, and then we’ll figure out if it will work for us. ”
Damon presses his lips together and nods sharply before looking away. I draw a breath into my starved lungs. I won’t be the reason he misses any opportunity. Even if I want him to stay with me and fix whatever is broken with us. I’ll push him to leave, because he’d do the same for me.
“I think the space will be good for you two.” Hawk reaches across the table and takes my hand. “This morning sounded like chaos and not the good kind.”
“My mom knows I’m dating all three of you,” I say it softly.
Damon scoffs, but this is what he wanted. He wanted everything about me out in the open. He wanted my mom to know the truth and wouldn’t settle for less. He just didn’t expect me to repay the favor with his dad.
The server comes over with our food and breaks the flow of our conversation.
Cam takes a bite of his curry chicken. “Tell me what you know about Jackson Riordan, goody.”
I freeze and swallow the bite of my food. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you.”
“You hung out with him a little before he kissed you. So tell me what you know,” he asks.
I sigh and set my fork down on my plate. “I was in awe of him. Half the time I didn’t even really hear what he was saying because I was sixteen and a cute boy thought I was pretty and wanted to spend time with me.”
“Not exactly loving this conversation.” Damon glares at Cam. “We know Jackson is an asshole.”
“But we don’t know what Annie knows about him.” Hawk takes a drink and sets it down. “Know thy enemy and all that.”
I blow out a breath and think about that summer while I push around my food. “It was only a few weeks. He was nice and would bring me little treats. I could tell he liked me and wanted more, but I didn’t know if I was ready for more than a flirtation. But you guys know that part of the story.”
Cam rests his hand on my leg and gives me an encouraging squeeze.
“We went to the same elementary school. Back then he didn’t really talk to anyone that I noticed.”
“Anyone from your elementary school at Deimos or Anteros besides you?” Cam asks.
“I don’t think so.” It would make sense if there were. There are quite a few elementary schools in our district. But I haven’t noticed anyone.
“What about neighborhood kids? Did he have a friend at the complex or someone who came over to hang with him?”
“I’m sorry. If he did, I didn’t notice.” I try to think, but it was just us that summer. “He paid attention to me. I didn’t see him with anyone else. Not even at the community pool.”
“You didn’t think that was odd?” Cam sits back and takes another bite, chewing it and swallowing before saying. “People generally hang out with their friends.”
“I didn’t.” Because that’s who I was. I didn’t have any friends to hang out with, just some boy who remembered me from grade school. “It wasn’t unusual to me to not have friends. Maybe it should have been.”
“What about kids from hockey?” Hawk looks at Damon and Cam. “He was in that PeeWee league with us. Anyone else from there go to our school or maybe knows someone from our school besides us?”
“It had to have been someone at rehearsal though, right?” I look at the others. “Anyone else would have been noticed.”
“That or the other production,” Cam says. “I can’t imagine you would think twice if someone from the drama department came in during practice to grab something from that theater.”
I bite my lip. He’s right. I probably wouldn’t have noticed.
“What about Brandt?” Damon asks. He’s still cold, but he’s participating. Maybe he just wants to solve this so he can really let me go. Is that where we’re headed? Because I’m not ready for this to end, but what if he is?
“You just aren’t going to give up on that guy.” Cam shakes his head.
“You weren’t there when he and his sister were saying shit about Olivia and Chase like it was a fucking game to them. Like that one movie with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Damon arches an eyebrow like Cam should know what he’s talking about.
“Cruel Intentions?” I offer, thinking about the movie. It’s very much about manipulation similar to Othello.
He snaps his fingers. “Yes. They had that weird egging each other on. Fuck, Brandt offered me his sister to fuck at one point. And she was down with it.”
I press my lips together and glare at him. For a moment, I forgot about this morning. Are we even still together? He’s going off to a college campus. He’s ridiculously hot. Someone will hit on him. Will he fuck her?
“How in the fuck would Jackson Riordan know Brandt Stanwell though?” Cam asks.
His hand squeezes my thigh. “Brandt is fucking loaded and has famous parents. They didn’t go to grade school together, and Brandt’s never held a hockey stick in his life.
They live nowhere near each other. There’s no intersection of their lives. ”
“His sister goes to a boarding school.” Damon rubs his temples. “I didn’t ask which one, but Jackson is at Kentwood Prep.”
It’s possible that’s a connection. How would we find out?
“You think Brandt’s sister is the connection to Jackson?” Hawk asks.
Damon glances at me. “She knew both Olivia and Chase. She was at Tom’s party. The way she talked she knew them. But it could have been her brother running his mouth to her.”
“We’ll look into your nerd, Heather’s phone, and the connection to Brandt while you’re gone.” Hawk leans back and looks between Damon and me.
I sit back and look away from Damon. I should ask where we stand, but my chest aches. I don’t know how we’re going to fix this.
Hawk sighs. “What you two went through this morning was messed up. Some time away from each other might be what you guys need. So you can figure out how to make this right. Because I’m all in on Annie. No matter what happens.”
“Same.” Cam takes my hand and threads our fingers together. My heart beats a little harder. “It wouldn’t be the same without all of us, but I’m not willing to give her up.”
My heart softens. Fuck, I love these guys. When I lean against Cam’s arm, I look up at Damon. If he decides he doesn’t want me anymore, can we still do this? There would always be a piece missing in my heart. How would I be with them and not think of Damon?
Damon nods at the guys like he understands. “Let’s head back to school.”