Chapter 18
Damon
The afternoon seems to fly by. I packed yesterday before we picked up Evan.
Fuck. My brain is fucked up. Hawk might be right that I need space from her.
Everything in me wants to turn to her and say everything will be okay.
To make her smile instead of cry. To take that anger in her and turn it into passion.
At the same time, I’m so fucking angry. That wasn’t for her to share.
But this morning was a trainwreck waiting to happen. It could have been avoided if she had been honest with her mom. I know I’m to blame for unloading all that shit, but her mom thought I was fucking Chase Chadwick’s understudy.
Fuck that. Evan belongs to me.
I’m not going to hockey practice, so I say goodbye to Cam and Hawk after school.
“Take care of her.” I swallow down the anger and pain. “Food, sleep. She’s getting worse about both as the performance gets closer. She’s worse when she’s mulling over something.”
“Maybe she’ll sleep better without you keeping her up late at night. Don’t worry, we’ll have a strict bedtime.” Cam smirks but then turns serious. “Honestly, we’ve got her. You’re free to go and focus on hockey and getting on the team. No chicks.”
I scoff. “Like I want anyone else.”
And that’s the rub. There’s only Evan for me, but fuck, our trust is broken.
We didn’t have enough sleep and weren’t fully awake.
I’m just as much to blame for this whole thing.
Maybe Chase’s involvement would have come out eventually, but Dad doesn’t understand my shit or why I didn’t want to get the police involved.
“We’ll make you some quality movies.” Hawk holds his fist up for me.
I roll my eyes and bump his fist. “I need to know she’s okay.”
“You already watch her twenty-four-seven on video between the hallway cameras and the however many cameras you’ve got in your house.” Cam shakes his head. “I’m just glad you aren’t gay, man. I don’t think I could handle that kind of focused attention.”
I grab Cam’s hand and pull him into me to give him a hug. “Make her smile.”
“Not a problem. Focus on hockey this week.” Cam grabs his bag and heads into the locker room.
“Are you going to tell her goodbye?” Hawk picks up his backpack.
I run my hand through my hair. But I don’t have an answer. I need to see her, but I don’t know if I can talk to her without making her even more angry at me. Especially without the guys with us.
“Text us. Text her. Maybe you can work out your shit when you can’t fuck her.” Hawk punches my arm before disappearing into the locker room.
I exhale and grab my backpack. I also grab Evan’s helmet. Could I have given it to Hawk or Cam? Yeah. Did I? No.
It’s an excuse. Because normally I wouldn’t need one to see my girl, but today, after this morning, I do need an excuse. I’m not ready to talk it out. My feelings are a tangled snarl of emotions that I can’t unwind.
But I need to see her. I need her to know... Fuck, that she’s still mine. But...
I walk the halls of our school, mostly empty now. Anyone who’s here is here for an after school activity and safely ensconced in a room.
The Anteros hallways are a little more active than Deimos. There’s a flurry of activity around the visual arts studio, and a cacophony of music spills out into the hallway near the music rooms. I make my way to the black box theater. It’s her short rehearsal night.
Most people will attend the football game this evening. It’s where Evan would be if she were still with Chase. But she’s not with him.
“Hi, Damon.”
I ignore Abby and her friend by the door to the other theater room. I don’t have time for her, and we don’t need another Olivia situation. Encouraging any interaction is a no-go.
Knowing they’re probably in rehearsal already because Evan runs a tight ship, I push through the door and walk in.
Evan’s focus was crumbling all day. Her anger seemed to be the only thing shoring her up.
We didn’t get much sleep last night. After staying up late, the drama of this morning, plus dealing with me being an asshole, I wasn’t surprised to see her almost a shell of herself.
But in here, she’s focused. She’s electric. And nothing will take this from her. I’ll make sure of that.
“What’s up, asshole?” Mia steps up next to me as I stand and watch Evan work.
“I’m leaving.” I don’t like Mia, but she seems to care about Evan.
“Are you going to tell her goodbye?” Mia arches an eyebrow like I’m going to fuck this up.
Maybe I will fuck this up. On the ice, I’m golden, but off... with her? It feels so easy with her. Too easy. But right now it’s hard.
Mia rolls her eyes and walks over to the desk to talk to Keira, who jerks her head up to look at me. Even her eyes narrow on me. No one likes me right now. Fuck, I don’t like me right now.
Keira stands and goes over to where Evan is on stage with the actors. She waits until Evan steps back to let the actors run through it again. I’ve watched her work.
Evan glances over at me. Will she tell them to send me away? She’s sad, but she’s also angry. I don’t blame her. But I want her to come over. To glare at me with those silver eyes. To fill my lungs with her woodsy scent.
I swallow.
My heart stops when I think she’s going to send me away, but she turns to Keira and says something before heading my way. When she reaches me, she takes my arm and pulls me toward the sound booth.
I let her. When the door is closed, I’m tempted to back her into it and kiss her senseless. Fuck her against the door because that’s where we connect, where we make sense.
She crosses her arms and glares at me. “You’re heading out?”
“Yes.” I hold out her helmet, and she takes it reluctantly.
“Hawk has a spare.” She shrugs like I didn’t need to bring it.
“This one is yours.”
Her silver eyes lift to mine.
I reach into my backpack and pull out a little container. When I hold it out to her, she takes it with a raised eyebrow.
“A snack.” I glance out at the cast working hard not to look over at us. At school, I’ve taken advantage of everyone knowing she’s mine to kiss her whenever I want to. Which means people probably noticed the chill between us and Evan’s red eyes.
“Thank you.” She holds it against her heart.
“I’m not ready to apologize, Evan.” I put my backpack on and put my hands in my pockets. “But this isn’t over. I’m not going to go off and fuck anyone else. I’m still yours.”
She opens her mouth and closes it. Her chin tips up stubbornly and she steps closer. “I was angry with you, but I shouldn’t have told your father that way. I still think he should know.”
Before she can step back, I catch her chin, close the physical distance between us, and kiss her softly. Her lips press against mine. I rest my forehead against hers for a moment, knowing tonight I won’t sleep because I won’t be next to her.
“Don’t go anywhere alone. Don’t take off the ring.” I straighten.
Her eyes are pools of shimmering moonlight. She steps into me and wraps her arms around my waist. The container hits my low back while her helmet hits my ass. I wrap my arms around her and rest my chin against her head.
I don’t know how we’re going to fix this, but we will because I’m not giving her up. Ever.
“I’ll miss you. Give them hell.” She pulls away and wipes at her eye with the back of her hand before opening the door and heading out to her desk. She sets down the helmet and container and strides onto the stage like I’m already gone.
“I’ll miss you. Give them hell,” I say softly before heading out the door.
“Do you have everything?” Dad asks. He tosses his keys in his hand as I close the trunk.
“I can drive myself,” I say for the hundredth time. This wasn’t part of the plan. Hours in the car with my father. Joy.
“I’d like to look at the campus. Talk to the coach.” Dad claps me on the shoulder and hands me the keys. “But you can drive on the way there.”
I roll my eyes but get into the driver’s seat. There’s no way we won’t be talking about this morning. Is this the divide and conquer method of parenting? He leaves so Heather can talk to Evan about this morning.
We get on the interstate, and Dad clears his throat. I roll my eyes and don’t even bother turning up the music on the radio. He’d just turn it off.
“We should talk about Chase Chadwick.” Dad seems relaxed in the seat next to me.
“His dad is your business partner.”
“Did you think I would choose Tom over you?” Dad’s voice is even.
I shrug. It’s not unreasonable to think that way.
“Fuck, I’m going about this all wrong.” Dad tries a different tack. “When did you realize Chase was the driver?”
“When I saw him getting head from a blond before he hit me.” I keep my eyes on the road and my voice just as steady as his. I’ve taken a lot away from Chase Chadwick, but of everything I’ve taken, there’s one thing he’ll never get back. Evan.
Not that she was ever his.
Dad looks out the window at the landscape flying by the window. “EvanAnn?”
I chuckle. “I thought so, but no, some other girl. They weren’t like that.”
Dad lets that sit for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me? Or the police when it happened?”
“What? So you could invite Chase over for a playdate and make us hug it out?” I roll my eyes. “He didn’t stick around. Besides, what proof did I have?”
“The damage to your bike and his car.” Dad runs a hand through his hair and lifts his gaze to the ceiling. “There was proof, Damon.”
“Okay, let’s say they did file charges against Chase. What would he get for taking my future from me? How much would Tom Chadwick pay to keep his son from getting a record and doing time? It’s not realistic to believe Chase would be punished at all.”
Dad’s quiet for a little while. I’m not wrong, and he knows it. The music plays in the background as the car eats the miles.