29. Runaway
Runaway
"What do you think?" Momma asks, removing a two-inch hot curler from my hair as I stare lifelessly at my reflection in the vanity mirror.
"Too big? Should we go for a tighter curl?
If you're going to go with the first routine, perhaps a tighter curl will keep better.
" She pauses, waiting for my reply. "Savannah? Well?"
"What?" I mumble as my phone vibrates for the umpteenth time.
It's Beau again. I told him to stop calling me.
I told them all to stop calling me. Jesse's the only one who truly listened.
He never listens. He's notorious for not listening.
Always does whatever he damn well pleases.
Except for this time. The one time I wish he'd ignore my wishes.
But it's just as well; at least I don't jump every time my phone buzzes anymore.
Maybe I shouldn't have left without saying a proper goodbye to everyone, but I had to leave.
Disappear. Remove myself from the situation.
I understand why Beau ran away all those years ago.
I get it now. Staying would've been too difficult.
Staying meant talking, staying meant processing, staying meant reliving all the lies again and again.
Their lies. And my own. Leaving is always easier.
Less effort. Less headache. Less heartache.
A clean break. That's what I needed, I'm sure of it.
"Earth to Savannah!" Momma waves her hand in front of my face and sighs. "Listen, I know you're upset about whatever happened in California, but we've only got two days left before Miss USA, and I need you to be present." She smiles at me through the mirror. "Okay?"
"Sure," I mutter, sinking into the lounge chair as she continues to fiddle with my hair. "Whatever you say, Momma."
"Excellent." She claps her hands, delighted. "We've got a lot of catching up to do if we're gonna beat Marla Mayweather and her coach-stealing-worm of a mother. She probably thinks they've got that crown on the tips of their thieving little fingers, but they're in for a rude awakening?—"
Momma drones on about her disdain for Mrs. Mayweather as I nod every few minutes and pretend to listen.
It comes as no surprise that my mother never withdrew me as a contestant from the pageant.
She said she had a feeling I'd come home just in the nick of time.
Motherly intuition, she called it. I can't even be mad.
She was right. Maybe she knows me better than I know myself.
"And I was thinking for dinner we could have Lucy whip up a nice big salad." Momma's scrutinizing gaze scans my face. "Something light, so we're in tip-top shape for the bikini competition. Sound good to you? "
"I want burgers," I say, ignoring her judgmental stare. "Double patty."
Momma balks. "Burgers...? But?—"
Sighing, I crane my neck up at my mother. "Listen, I'm doing the stupid pageant. You win, okay? The least you could do is let me eat whatever the hell I want."
Momma's jaw drops. "Do not talk to me like?—"
"Like what?" I ask, crossing my arms. "Like I have a mind of my own?
Taste buds of my own? You know, Momma, I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now, but almond milk is not the same as normal milk.
The consistency is different, the flavor is different, and quite frankly, I think it's idiotic to drink juice from a nut! That's why we have cows!"
Momma blinks rapidly at my outburst. "Savannah, I?—"
"And another thing," I continue my rant, "I think it's completely inappropriate for you to buy me dresses in a size I don't even fit.
" I point to the baby pink floor-length satin gown that she purchased for the finale.
"It's not motivating, it's not healthy, and I don't like it.
" My eyes harden. "Clothes are supposed to fit your body, Momma, not the other way around. "
"I'm..." She swallows, clearing her throat. "I didn't mean to?—"
"But you did," I say, voice dropping to a low level as I banish thoughts of Jesse from my mind.
"Most people don't mean to hurt you, or lie to you, or fill in the blank, but they do.
So..." I shrug. "Just try and be more intentional with what you do mean, and you might not have to apologize so much for what you don't. "
"I'll um..." She glances at the dress, biting her lip. "I'll go back to the store tomorrow."
It's not an apology, but it's a start. Baby steps, I guess. I give my momma a small smile. "Thank you, I would appreciate that."
"You're welcome?—"
"Caroline!" Daddy hollers from the hallway, his voice cracking, the floorboards creaking as he runs toward my room like an dang elephant.
"Caroline!" My mother and I exchange a puzzled look as he stops in the doorframe, holding his chest and panting.
"Caro—" He heaves, catching his breath. "There's?—"
"Look at you! I told you that you should use that dang treadmill more often.
" She clicks her tongue as daddy continues to pant.
Momma closes her eyes. "I swear to the Lord Almighty, John, if you have a heart attack two days before Savvy's pageant, I will kill you dead.
" Momma shakes her head as Daddy wipes a sheen of sweat from his forehead.
"What are you doing galloping around my house like a horse on steroids? " She lifts an impatient brow. "Well?"
"The door." Daddy gulps, glancing at me skittishly. "There's someone at the door."
My heart races. Jesse? Is Jesse here?
Momma blinks. "And? I know Lucy does a lot around here, but surely you haven't forgotten how to open doors, John."
"Caroline..." Daddy straightens his posture. "It's Beauregard. He's here and..." He clears a tickle in his throat. "He's brought a girl. "
Beau?! What is happening? He flew here? And with Marlow?!
"What?" The comb in Momma's hand falls to the floor as silence surrounds us. My parents communicate tacitly through blinks and breaths. "He's...here? Beau...Beauregard is...here?"
"Yes," Daddy confirms, cringing. "And he...well, he looks uh—different."
"He's here?" Momma mumbles to herself. "In our home? My baby...is back?"
What is he doing here? Has he completely lost his mind? No warning? No text message? Does he know what he's walking into?
While my parents process that the prodigal son has returned, I manage to sneak away and bolt downstairs. As I descend the final set of steps, I inhale the familiar scent of Marlow's perfume. They really are here.
"I put 'em in the sitting room, Miss Savannah." I jump as Lucy rounds the corner, startling me. She gives me a cheeky grin. "I think your momma might have a stroke when she sees 'em." Giggling, she waddles away.
Releasing a long breath, I gather my wits and head into the living room, anxiety stirring in my chest. As soon as I step through the threshold, two noodley arms encase me in a suffocating hug.
"I'm sorry!" Marlow exclaims, whipping me side to side.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I know you're probably super fucking choked at me, and I get it!
I lied, and Beau lied, we all fucking lied to you, and that's horrible and awful, and if you want, you can shoot me.
I'd shoot me! Maybe not in a vital organ, but in my foot or hand or shoulder.
I deserve it! I do, but please, Sav, you need to forgive me, okay?
Because you've only been gone a few days, and I miss you like crazy.
And I love you like crazy, and I think that people are allowed to make one mistake. One! Okay? I promise that?—"
"Her face is turning blue, Mar," Beau pipes up.
Marlow releases me instantly and pulls back, still holding my shoulders. The frown on her face pricks my heart. "I'm sorry, Savannah." She looks back at my brother. "We both are."
Beau doesn't let me say a word as he adds without missing a beat, "We know you're upset with us.
With all of us." He swallows, looking around our childhood home.
"I—I know when I left, I hurt you, and when you showed up in Hawkridge, I swore to myself I'd never do it again.
" Marlow squeezes his hand as his eyes well up.
"But I did, and I'll take responsibility for that.
If you—" He closes his eyes. "If you never want to see me again, I'd understand, I do, but.
.." He sniffles. "I'll always be here for you, Savvy.
I'm not...I'm not gonna run away again. I'm here. "
Marlow casts me a hopeful smile. "We both are."
I shake my head, gaze darting between the two idiots in front of me, every ounce of pent-up resentment dwindling into nothingness.
"Y'all are dumber than a pile of sticks, you know that?
" I point a finger at the second floor. "What made you think showing up here unannounced was a good idea?
You dang near gave daddy a heart attack, and I'm fairly certain momma might pass out when she sees you. "
"You weren't answering any of our calls or text messages," Beau says, giving me a nonchalant shrug. "Figured this way, you couldn't ignore us."
"Actually, I f igured this way you couldn't ignore us," Marlow states proudly. "Told Beau we had to get on the next flight out." She fishes out a folded-up piece of paper from her pocket and hands it to me. "Here. This is for you."
I eye the paper warily before opening it, snorting immediately as colorful scribbles and the words "we're sorry" jump off the page. "Really? Y'all using Iz and Ellie to do your dirty work for you? This is low, even for Pippa."
"But is it working?" Marlow tilts her head. "Is that a smile I see?"
"Idiots," I say, sighing. "I can't believe you flew all the way here."
"We don't want to lose you," Marlow says, grabbing my hand in hers. "You're family, girl. Whether you like it or not, you're our family. And yes, families fight, but families also fight for each other." She tilts her head, catching my gaze. "We love you, Sav. We all do."