Chapter Four Connor
CHAPTER FOUR
CONNOR
The next day, the annoyance of seeing Laney with Matt had dulled by only one degree.
The image of them hugging, a smile on her face, her ringless finger right there, played over and over in my mind.
Was he a better choice for her? Would he make her happier?
When she’d told me about him when we first started dating, she spoke fondly of him.
Exes were supposed to be that—exes. Ones you didn’t think about or see ever again.
No. I couldn’t picture them together without losing my mind.
I was better for Laney, but did I show it?
She’d taken care of all the groceries and meals for our entire marriage.
Did she hate that? I don’t think we discussed it.
She just started doing it at the start because I was busting my ass to earn a promotion, and then we never brought it up again.
I should’ve asked her. I should’ve made sure to touch base with her, see what changes were needed in our marriage.
That’s also why I was watching YouTube videos on how to make something besides mac and cheese or grilled cheese. Laney had spoiled me with her cooking, and I totally took it for granted.
Just add that to the list. I rubbed my palms into my eyes, the headache a constant at this point, as my phone rang. A stupid burst of hope had me thinking it was Laney, but no. Petra, my executive assistant.
“Petra,” I answered, my tone sharp. Although we had emailed since our last chat, I hadn’t spoken with her since she learned my wife left me. “What’s going on?”
“Hope you’re enjoying the small-town life, boss.”
I sighed. “Not exactly. Did you find out more about the cyberattack?”
The timing couldn’t have been worse. Not only did my wife leave me on the night we were breached, but the attack also happened right in the middle of intense negotiations with a new business.
While I didn’t need to be physically in the office as we investigated who, how, and when someone broke into our network, I had to be involved every second as the CEO.
It was fucking exhausting. Why did I do this?
The challenge of succeeding drove me at first, then money.
But now? I scrubbed a hand over my face as frustration and a deep bone-tired exhaustion hit me.
“Jen is with me. We’re pretty sure we found the compromised account, which wouldn’t be a big deal, but—”
“We believe, possibly, that someone took a bribe to let the hackers in,” Jen, my CTO, chimed in.
“I’m running a script compiling all outbound emails on company devices to see if they were stupid enough to leave evidence.
Whatever I find, I’ll send a report to you, but when we went to talk to Nate, he seemed… too relaxed. No concern. It was weird.”
Nate Remington was on the development team.
“He’d have the skills to leave a door open for someone to get in. He wrote most of our fucking automations.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jen sighed. “I’m having Jeremy monitor our network, and we augmented our team with a twenty-four-seven service. We’re okay now, Connor, but I want to nail his ass.”
My adrenaline spiked. “Get our lawyer on the line. Let’s see what our options are.”
We moved from the phone to a Zoom call while the company’s general counsel, Jeff, explained our options.
It was daunting, but if we found the evidence needed, we could not only press charges, but it could also help with the costs of recovery.
The call took over two hours, and my stomach growled something fierce.
I had never made lunch. Work had distracted me.
I eyed my watch and cringed. How had this much time gone by? Laney’s event was in six hours, damn it. I wanted to talk to her before she left. My wife liked arriving early to prep, and I wanted to drive her. There was a snowstorm on the way.
I didn’t have time to eat, so I shoved a spoon into the jar of peanut butter, dipped it in jelly, and put it into my mouth.
Once Laney was safe and at the event, I’d sneak off and find a snack.
I could survive a few hours hungry if it meant time with my wife.
After shoving myself into my coat, I grabbed my phone and keys and jogged toward her parents’ house.
Her car still sat outside, my shoulders sagged in relief. Thank God. She hadn’t left yet.
I raised my hand to knock just as Laney opened the door.
“Connor!”
“Hi,” I said, a little breathless. She looked stunning.
She wore a red dress that dipped low, and her hair was done in curls that surrounded her face.
Her lips were bright red and so damn kissable.
She loved dressing up and going out for a nice meal.
We used to do it once a week and talk for hours, sharing a bottle of wine.
We hadn’t in a while, and that was my fault too.
I scanned her, rubbing a hand over my chest. “You look beautiful, hon.”
She chewed her lip, but a pretty blush danced across her face. “Thanks. I have a Christmas charity event tonight back in the city.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” I cleared my throat. “There is a severe weather warning tonight, something about sleet and ice. I know I can’t convince you to cancel the event, but can I please drive you? I have my SUV, which is safer, and we don’t even have to talk.”
Her eye twitched as she blew out a loud breath. She didn’t like bad weather.
“The weather does have me nervous.”
“I know. I don’t want you to have to drive by yourself in that.” I fought the urge to push a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I can help with the event or stay in the car, whatever you need.”
She nodded, the relief evident on her face. “Thanks, Connor. Yeah, if you’re really sure. My stomach has been in knots thinking about the drive back.”
“I’m sure.” My lips curved up. The thought of being in the car with her had my stomach somersaulting like it did when I first met her. She was giving me a chance.
“Here, I’ll carry that.” I took the bag off her shoulder and hoisted it onto mine.
“Do you need anything else?”
“No, I don’t think so.” She rubbed her lips together, her eyes moving over my face.
“What’s… you have something on your face.”
“I do?” I wiped the left side, but she shook her head.
“Right here.” She smiled as she reached forward with her thumb and swiped to the right of my mouth. I almost shuddered at having her touch me.
“Is this jelly?”
My face flushed. “Yes.” I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t cook and had resorted to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Hell, I didn’t even make that because work got in the way.
“I’ll put this in the back. You get in the front.”
She remained quiet as I loaded her equipment into the trunk. This was a good sign. She was letting me drive her. Sure, it was because she was terrified of driving in bad weather, but I’d take whatever I could get. She wasn’t shoving me away or worse—having Matt drive her.
After we buckled in, I plugged the event location into GPS.
“Okay, what music are you feeling?”
“How did you know where the event is?”
“I always know where you are.” I met her gaze. “I know you might not believe this, but I check your schedule every day. Even if I never shared that with you, my morning routine is always to see your calendar if there was any opening where we could grab lunch.”
“We haven’t grabbed lunch in months,” she whispered, her attention moving to the window. “We used to.”
Sadness pierced me at her resigned tone. It was her giving-up tone.
“I know we did, hon, and I’m so sorry I stopped prioritizing that time together. Life got away from me the last few years.”
She hummed in response, not confirming whether she believed me.
She crossed one leg over the other, her dress revealing her very toned leg, and heat coursed through me.
My wife was ridiculously hot. I was obsessed with every part of her.
We’d been intimate weeks ago, and if I had known that it could’ve been the last time with her, I would’ve slowed down.
I would’ve spent an hour on every part of her, savoring her sounds and the way she felt.
“Thanks for letting me drive you. I like being around you.” There, that was genuine and tested the waters. If she shut me down, I’d be quiet and drive in silence. I gripped the wheel as she played with a button on her coat, her nervous energy quite palpable.
“I loved when we drove around in the summer with the windows down and seeing who could sing the loudest.” She grinned, the expression so surprising that my breath caught in my throat. “Do you remember that car of teens who saw us and laughed their asses off?”
“I sure do.” I chuckled. “You really brought your best Celine Dion that day.”
“And you and your Freddie Mercury.”
The pang behind my heart relaxed. This was good.
“Are you up for another singing challenge?”
“Right now?” Her eyebrows skyrocketed.
“Why the hell not? We have an hour in the car, and I have a feeling taking over me I can’t stop.” I dialed the radio to the station where there was always a holiday song playing once it hit December. “Christmas edition, obviously.”
“Connor, we can’t…”
“Why?” I glanced at her, and she stared at me, a half smile, half wince on her face. “Are you afraid you’ll lose?”
She wet her bottom lip before laughing. “You know I’ll kick your ass, but us singing, having fun… is that weird?”
“Uh, no? Why would it be weird?”
“Because we’re divorcing?”
“Right. That.”
She snorted. “Yeah, just a little thing called divorce. No biggie.”
“Are you joking about the D-word right now, Laney Reynolds? That is highly inappropriate.”
She laughed again and leaned her head against the window. “I shouldn’t be telling you this…”
I prepared for the worst. “What is it?”
“Being around you like this, how we used to be, definitely makes me question if I’m doing the right thing. I never stopped loving you, Connor. I hope you know that. I probably never will.”
Fuck. I swallowed down the emotion and tried to put on my CEO hat.
Be strategic. I played people chess all day, every day.
I adjusted my plan based on people’s needs, and while I didn’t want to play my wife, I could be strategic in getting her back.
We passed a billboard promising the best New Year’s gala around, and an idea struck.
“Laney, hon, I have an idea.”
“I’m still divorcing you—”
“Just, stop. Okay? I know you are.” Nerves penetrated my spine.
I would like more time for the idea to marinate, but my opening was right now, and I couldn’t miss it.
“I have an idea. You don’t have to answer now, consider it.
But I’ve been thinking… Let me try all month to win your heart back.
I’m right next door, and I’m not giving up.
If I can’t prove to you we’re worth another shot by New Year’s Day, then I’ll sign your papers. ”
Her lips formed a pretty oh as she stared at me.
“Connor.”
“I’m serious. I’ll beat you.”
“No, I mean… you’ll sign them…?” Her voice trailed off, like she was disappointed to hear me say that.
It took all my courage, but I nodded.
“I want you happy, baby. Your smile lights up every room, and I’ve seen how sad you’ve been.
So yes. I will sign them after New Year’s if that’s what you really want.
You deserve to have someone who makes you happy.
I want to be that person, but I won’t prevent you from your happiness because I’m selfish. ”
She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her hand. If I wasn’t driving, I’d wipe her tears and kiss them away, but maybe it was better that I couldn’t.
“Ugh, I was having a good eyelash day. Now it’s ruined.”
“No, you still look beautiful.”
She flipped the visor down and fixed her makeup, but while she did that, she spoke to me. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Just… I wasn’t sure what I imagined when I left, but it wasn’t this.”
“Me fighting for you? You didn’t expect that?” I scoffed. “Then you truly have no idea how I feel about you.”
“I figured you’d be upset, but I also assumed you’d be too busy at work to really do anything about it. I mean, how are you not in the office right now? With the cyberattack and your dad?”
“I have a good team back there. They can handle it. I’ve talked to them every day, and my physical presence isn’t mandatory.
” I ignored the stab of fury I felt knowing that Petra and my dad thought the company mattered more.
If they believed that and Laney did too, then I really was a shit husband.
I reached across the console and took her hand in mine.
She didn’t flinch, and I used that to my advantage.
“Laney, I want to be very explicit because it’s clear we haven’t been on the same page for a while. If I had to choose my job or you, then I’d pick you.”
She squeezed my hand, but then she released it.
“Thanks for saying that, and I think you believe those words, but you haven’t chosen me. Time and time again. It shouldn’t take me leaving you for you to tell me that.”
I wanted to snap. To argue. To pull over and yank her onto my lap to kiss her and remind her how good we were together.
But I did none of those things. She was right.
I had twenty-nine days to prove to her my words were true.
If I wanted our marriage to survive, then I had to respect her and earn her trust.
“You’re right. I’m also—”
“I could’ve told you how upset I was instead of brushing it aside.
But I never wanted to distract you from your job.
You worked so hard to get there, and plus, with your dad always around…
I never wanted to burden you with my feelings, so I never communicated them.
I’m sorry for that. I could’ve been better. ”
“Baby.” It was like an entire golf ball had lodged itself in my throat. “You are never a burden to me. I hate that you felt that way.”
“If we try to fix our marriage for a month, what does that mean?”
“We date.”
“And you’ll really sign the papers if I ask?” Her voice was small, hesitant.
“Yes. You date me for December, and if I’m not what you want, then I’ll let you go.”