Chapter Seventeen Laney
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LANEY
Sophia and I walked arm in arm Friday morning, eyeing the shops on Main Street. She wanted to find a few presents for her nieces, and I wanted to hang out with my best friend.
“You’re happier here. I wasn’t sure if it was the first night, seeing all your old friends, or if it was you and Connor finding your way back to each other. But it’s been days now. You’re lighter.”
I sighed, and my breath formed a puff in front of my face. I tightened my grip on my jacket as a chill went through me. “I know. I miss it. A lot.”
“And have you talked to your smitten husband about this?”
“I can never tell whose side you’re on.”
“Always yours. Even if that means calling you out when you’re hiding the truth.
You need to tell him how you’re feeling.
You’re both so… Laney.” She stopped and grabbed my face with her mittens.
“This is the best I’ve seen both of you.
This place is different. I can’t explain it.
I never thought I’d say I like the small-town life, but damn, it’s magical. ”
“Cherrywood does have that spark to it.” I eyed my hometown, a million memories flashing through my mind.
The time I stubbed my toe on the curb and Matt gave me a piggyback ride to get ice cream.
The night my dad and I danced in the rain, expecting my mom to get mad, but she just joined us and laughed.
The day I found out about getting into my dream college.
“I don’t think he’ll ever leave the city,” I said. He had said he’d come with me but that was right after I left and he was desperate.
“You don’t speak for him.”
“Sophia.” I snorted, but then another bout of dizziness hit. It had been a few days since the last one, but I gripped her arm until it passed.
“Dang, is it possible to get vertigo?”
She frowned. “Vertigo? What do you mean?”
“I’ve been getting dizzy the last week or so. Only for a few seconds, but then it passes.”
Sophia clicked her tongue, but then her eyes widened. “Laney, are you pregnant?”
“What?” I gasped, the air escaping my lungs so fast that I stumbled back. She caught me, the expression on her face shifting to panic.
“I can’t… It’s not…”
The throwing up. The dizziness. The realization that I couldn’t remember my last period.
“Oh… it’s… I could be. I could be pregnant, Sophia.”
The swirl of emotions had my vision blurring. Joy, surprise, terror. I felt every emotion in the book in those five seconds before my best friend snapped into action.
Sophia nodded, then gripped my arm. “Let’s go to the drugstore. I’ll buy a test. People will think it’s for me. Then you pee on a stick.”
“Soph.” My voice broke.
“I know, honey. We’ll figure out what to do next. Let’s learn the truth though.”
We bought the tests and found our way to the bookstore. I used to come here all the time growing up. I’d get lost in the thrilling pages of a mystery or a Jane Austen novel. It was romantic in a way, and right now, it was my refuge.
“Can we use your restroom real quick? Then I’m purchasing every Abby Jimenez book you stock.” Sophia smiled and took charge.
Without her, I wasn’t sure what I’d do. Melt. Freeze.
“The code is eight-seven-four-three,” the kid at the register said.
“Thank you!” Sophia practically ran toward the door, dragging me with her. She locked it, ripped open the box, and handed it to me. “Pee.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“You will. You need to know if you’re pregnant. We should call Connor—”
“No.”
We both gasped. Questions swirled in her eyes before she cupped my face, her voice soft.
“Laney, I am with you. No matter what happens, we are friends for life. We can talk after you find out if you’re pregnant, okay?”
My eyes welled up as I nodded. She stood in the corner while I did my business with shaking hands. I set the stick on the counter, washed my hands, and hung my head as I fought with what answer I wanted.
Connor and I talked about having kids years ago, but we agreed we’d try once we felt ready.
Settled. Which, we were neither right now.
Plus the memory from three years ago remained in my mind, where he told our neighbor that he didn’t want to be a dad.
I wasn’t meant to hear the comment, but the way he had said it, the tone, the implication that he didn’t have time for a family, stuck with me all this time.
Work would always come first. Hell, I tried divorcing him two fucking weeks ago! We weren’t stable!
But I could be carrying his child.
A burst of love so strong, so powerful hit me that my knees buckled. I slid onto the floor, not caring that it was probably disgusting. I wrapped my arms around my knees and waited.
“Two minutes. Then we’ll know.” Sophia patted my knees, her face twisted with worry.
“My sister found out she was pregnant by being dizzy. She also craved jalapenos. This girl won’t even put pepper on eggs because it’s too much.
The spicy thing was a sure sign. That’s why I even suggested it.
You being dizzy could be nothing related to it. ”
“I was on antibiotics the week we went away. I haven’t had my period since early November, Soph. I blamed the stress of leaving, of moving home. But I’ve been throwing up a lot, random times.” A weight settled in my gut, like this pregnancy theory answered a lot of my questions.
She sighed and stood, walking over to the stick. Before reading it, she faced me.
“Are you sure you don’t want to call him?”
I nodded. “I’m sure.”
“Okay, momma. You’re pregnant.” She sighed and burst out in tears. “You’re having a baby, Laney.”
A sob choked me as my best friend pulled me up and hugged me, keeping me upright as I struggled to breathe. This was unreal. A baby. I’m going to be a mom.
“You’re going to be the best mom, and I’m gonna be with you the entire time. My sister has all her old baby stuff. You can have it. Oh my God, Laney.” She gave me a watery smile before hugging me again. “How are you feeling? You’re quiet.”
“Happy.” I nodded, burying my face into her shoulder. “I want to be a mom, and I didn’t even realize it until right this second.”
She lifted my face up, happy tears falling down hers. “We need to get it together and talk out your next steps.”
“I don’t know what to do.” My tears fell even harder. “Connor and I just found a rhythm. If he learns about this…”
“He’ll be happy. He will be fucking thrilled. He’ll do anything you need, drop everything to help you.”
“That’s the thing. I know he will. He’d do everything for the baby. He’ll be the best dad in the world. But, oh God, I sound selfish.”
“Good. It’s time you put yourself and this baby first. No judgment from me, ever.” She sniffed too as she laughed. “Wait. I’m godmother, right?”
I burst out laughing, more tears following as I nodded. “Obviously.”
“Okay, now that’s settled. Talk to me. What’s going through your head?”
I swallowed the ball of emotion. “Let’s… walk back home. I want the fresh air to clear my head.”
“Deal.” She threw the box in the trash and wrapped the stick in toilet paper. “You’ll want to keep this. Trust me.”
I pocketed the dangerous stick and wiped my face.
A part of me was relieved to learn all the sickness, the dizziness, the feeling different were due to being pregnant.
I obviously needed to see a doctor, to confirm and ensure things were okay.
I inhaled the cold, icy air as we walked outside and let the coolness settle me down.
Sophia said she wouldn’t judge me, but my stomach twisted in indecision. I could tell Connor now. I could picture his smile and the way his eyes would light up. He’d go wild buying stuff for the baby.
Yet, we had thirteen days until New Year’s. Thirteen days until we discussed if we were going to stay together. A voice inside my head screamed of course we are, but now that I was having a baby, two things became clearer in my mind.
I wanted to raise my kid here, surrounded by family, not in the city. And second, I needed to see how things shook out with Connor’s job. Although Connor and I had made progress talking through our issues, I was hit with memories of me being alone and not able to reach him.
The time I went to the ER without him. The unanswered calls for hours at a time.
My throat closed as my grip tightened on Sophia.
“You okay?” She stilled as we turned onto my childhood street. “You need to rest?”
“No.” I exhaled, daring to say my decision and hope my friend wouldn’t shame me. I needed to have Connor choose me at the end of the month. Not his job, not the baby. Me.
“I don’t… I want to wait to tell Connor.”
Sophia nodded, her expression open. “Okay, until when?”
“After New Year’s.” I swallowed as my eyes filled with tears.
“I need him to choose me, Soph. I need to see him choose our marriage before he knows about our kid. He hasn’t chosen me for years, and sure, a couple weeks have been amazing, but what if it’s not long term?
You remember those nights I couldn’t even reach him.
I’m not keeping our baby from him—I would never do that—but not telling him for two weeks isn’t… I’m not horrible, right?”
Soph smiled. “You’re not horrible. Not at all.” She pursed her lips, her face twisting in thought. “You could spin it, so it doesn’t sound like you’re intentionally hiding this from him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I understand your reasons, and I agree with them.” Her eyes flashed for a second. “I love seeing you and Connor happy, but I remember how much he hurt you. Yeah, okay, I think you wait and see what happens on January 1. Then, whatever you decide… you share it with him for the New Year.”
I swallowed the ball in my throat. “It could be a surprise.”
She grinned. “Yeah, you could get a little onesie that has something cute on it.”
“I love you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I hugged my best friend and hoped she could feel the love pouring out of me.
“Thank you for visiting, for being there for me, everything.”
She hugged me back and said, “Sounds like, if you’re having a girl, Sophia might be the middle name.”
It was the tension relief I needed. I snort-laughed and pulled away. I’d tell Connor on New Year’s, and figure out what this new version of our relationship looked like.
I decided to bring dinner to Connor at the guesthouse tonight.
I carried a take-out bag with chicken pot pie from the diner and two milkshakes.
Maybe it was guilt about keeping something from him, or maybe I just missed him.
I spent all day with Soph before she went back home, and I hadn’t seen my husband at all.
After all the time we’d been spending together, I wanted to be around him more.
Connor hadn’t texted all day, and it had the rumblings of before, where he’d disappear into his work for days, or weeks, or months at a time. I knocked as my stomach swirled. Things were good between us. I had no reason to doubt that, right?
He opened the door, a phone pressed to his ear as his brain caught up to seeing me. At first, he frowned, but then a slow smile formed, and he bent down to kiss me while remaining on the phone.
“Ryan, I understand your concern. I plan to address that on Wednesday.”
His tone was clipped, annoyed.
Connor ushered me inside, then locked the door and took the bag from my hands. His hair was messy, like he had run his fingers through it over and over. His shoulders were tense too.
“Ryan, yes—but—can I—” He shook his head and fisted his hand. “Forgive me, but it’s Friday night, my wife is here, and I’ll see you next week. Email me or Petra if you have any additional concerns.”
Then Connor hung up and tossed his phone onto the counter. He closed the distance between us and kissed me.
“I’ve needed this,” he whispered, cupping the back of my head softly with one hand, the other running along my neck and collarbone. “You taste so good. Did you and Soph have a good day?”
My eyes prickled, but I hid it by kissing him back. He groaned into my mouth, his tongue sliding against mine in a familiar yet intoxicating way. He must’ve chewed gum at one point because the minty flavor stung my tongue, and he wasted no time deepening the kiss.
I swore I floated off the table, letting out a deep moan. All too soon, he pulled back and grinned, looking mighty smug.
“Proud of yourself?”
“Mm-hmm.” He ran his thumb over my wet bottom lip, his eyes heating. “I love when you make that growly sound. Reassures me.”
“How so?” I tilted my head, and his nostrils flared.
“That you’re just as into me as I am into you.”
“That was never in question, Connor,” I said softly.
He winced, but instead of stalking off or avoiding the chat, he nodded.
“I’m so sorry that I caused you to question us.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I’m working on changing everything. There’s a board meeting Wednesday that could be either really good, or really bad.”
“Bad… how?”
He dropped his hand from my face and pocketed it. The stiffness returned to his shoulders, and a muscle ticked in his jaw.
“My dad and Dennis are going to try and remove me as CEO.”
“What?” I blinked.
“It’s a real possibility. I’m sick of answering to them. I’m fucking over them coming between you and me.” His voice had a hard edge, one rarely used with me. Even now, he wasn’t angry at me, but I felt the lingering emotion in the air.
“I wasn’t sure about telling you because there are so many what-ifs, but we agreed on honesty.”
My stomach hollowed out, and I choked on my own breath.
His face fell, and he pulled me into a hug, completely misreading my reaction. We’d agreed on honesty, and I was hiding something major. My throat ached. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled, his muscles relaxing like breathing me in made him feel better.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything about the plan. This mandatory meeting threw me for a loop. I’m working on a backup plan, baby. If I have to start over, I’ll do it. I have good connections—”
“No, you can’t give in.” What about the baby? What about insurance? What about bills?
He knew nothing about those.
His frown deepened, and uncertainty clouded his eyes.
“What do you mean?” he asked slowly, elongating each word and holding my gaze. Something swirled in his gray eyes—not quite confusion, but nerves, hesitation.
My guilt doubled over my omission, but I needed him to pick me. Holding off for thirteen days wasn’t that big of a deal. I ignored the twist of my gut and took his hand in mine.
“You’ve worked so hard to get where you’re at.” I smiled, meaning every word as I continued, “You’re not going down without a fight.”