43. CONAN
Chapter forty-three
A ngel paced the length of the kitchen, chewing on her thumbnail. Every time one of us tried to speak, she cut us off with a raised hand and a scowl. Nik sat back down, and I joined him and the others at the table.
Finally Angel stopped. “I’m going home. Alone. I don’t want to hear any of your opinions. I don’t care if you, your security firm, and a hundred of Luca’s men follow me around and stand outside my house. I need to be alone. And I mean totally alone.”
She glanced back and forth from Nik to me, shaking her head in frustration. “I love every single person in this room, but I’m not going to be told what to do like a child anymore. I’ve lived twenty-seven years as an obedient daughter of the mafia. I was never given a chance to live life on my own terms, and that stops today. ”
With a few quick strides, she stepped up to the table and leaned in toward her brother. “Nik, you’ve always treated me like the twelve-year-old lost and afraid little girl that was dumped at that boarding school so many years ago. Well, I have news for you. I’m an intelligent, hardworking, capable woman. And it’s high time I start acting like it. I can’t do that if you’re always there to take care of everything for me.”
Crossing her arms, she moved her attention to Lucian, who was leaning against the counter. “Lucian, don’t you think for a minute that what happened between us was just a fun roll in the hay. I know you care about me and that it was your idea to let me buy into the club. From day one, you made it clear to the other guys that I was your responsibility, yours to protect. Your past, my situation, and the timing of things may not have allowed us to think of possibilities beyond a physical relationship, but you’ve always had my back and made sure I had what I needed, made sure I was safe. But I’m not that na?ve little wallflower you interviewed and hired. I’m your business partner who needs to pull her own weight or get the hell out.”
Relaxing her arms, Angel pulled a chair out from the table and sat down beside me, taking a minute to gather her thoughts. Then she turned in her chair to face me, rested an elbow on the edge of the table, and leaned in. We all waited silently for her to speak again.
“And as far as you go, Conan,” she said, “you treat me like I’m some kind of perfect. You always think that I know what’s best for me. Like I have all the answers. You treat me as if I’m worth something more than I am.”
She leaned forward, gripping my thighs with her hands, getting up close to my face. “You’ve been better to me than I deserved. You put me on a fucking pedestal, for Christ’s sake. No one can live up to some goddamn ideal—especially not me. I wish I could be that girl for you, but I don’t even know who I am.”
Her eyes blinked rapidly, a hundred different emotions playing out in them. Heaving a deep sigh, she stood up, walked away from the table, and turned back to us while we all sat in stunned silence. “And as for the rest of you, you get my point. I need to figure out who the fuck I am before I can be the person any of you deserve.”
Wrapping her arms around herself, she demanded, “I need to go home.”
The kitchen was quiet. No one said anything, but we all nodded.
After a moment, I glared at Nik and told him, “I’ll drive Angel home. Make arrangements with the guys from your security firm to watch over her.” I hated the thought of letting Angel out of my sight, but she had to choose to want me in her life or at least feel like it was her choice. “Nik, you’ll need to stay put for a few days to heal. This house has everything Braxton and I need to care for your wound, so I’ll be back.”
I turned to the group. “This is a good opportunity for us all to get to know one another.” I glanced at Angel. “She’s smart and knows what she needs. Right now, she doesn’t need us telling her what to do. Looks like the men in her life will have to get on the same page and let our little mafia princess ascend to queen.”
Angel rolled her eyes, and I growled, breaking the tension and making her chuckle. Then she turned and marched out of the kitchen, saying, “Good. Glad that’s decided. I’m going to pack my things. I’m ready to blow this popsicle stand.”
After she left the room, I lowered my voice. “Listen up, guys. Angel is smarter and tougher than any of us give her credit for. We need to fall in line, or we risk losing her forever.”
The guys hemmed and hawed, trying to argue but unable to find any valid reasons why we should stop her from going off alone. They finally nodded in agreement.
“All right,” I said, “might as well finish eating and clean up.” We all finished off what was left, sitting back and enjoying some freshly brewed coffee.
The tension in the room eased, and we began chatting. Nik focused his attention on Lucian and Lachlan. “You guys and the others from the club should be safe to resume your normal lives. But don’t talk about anything that happened or even mention knowing any Genovese, Moretti, or Volkov. Luca will keep you under his wing because of Ana, but don’t push your luck.”
Lucian nodded. “Got it.”
“Regardless of what Ana thinks or wants, she can’t stay in the area,” Nik continued. “The Morettis are more muscle than brains. For her whole life, she’s been sheltered from the realities of mafia politics and violence, so she doesn’t understand how much danger she’s truly in. You should make arrangements for the club to be without her indefinitely.”
Lucian sighed. “I know you’re right, Nik, but I really hate it. Still, I understand the circumstances. Whenever the time is right, Ana’s always welcome back at the club.” He eyed Nik curiously. “So, where are you going to go? Seems to me you’re in more danger than Ana is. You probably can’t return to Russia unless the Volkovi Notchi accepts Luca as their new leader.”
Nik shrugged. “I’ve been working on a plan to get out from under my father for a long time. That’s why I’ve spent every waking hour over the last decade building a consortium of businesses all over the world. Some are legitimate, like DarkMatter, but others…let’s just say, are not out in the daylight. I’ve got a place in Kyiv where I often work.”
Braxton, intrigued, piped up, “I’ve never been out of the country. ”
Nik raised an eyebrow. “You’re more sheltered than my sister. How’s that possible?”
Everyone laughed, and Nik grinned.
“Tell you what, Braxton,” he said. “Get yourself a passport, and I’ll take you to Kyiv as repayment for your ‘free medical care.’”
Braxton leaned back and smiled but didn’t respond. He was always the quiet, cautious one of us brothers. Being the middle child, he’d always played referee between Atticus and me. He was a good guy who never took risks or challenged the status quo. But surely he wasn’t considering the possibility of going off with a guy like Nik. I’d have to approach him about it later. Now wasn’t the time.
Soon after, Angel returned to the kitchen, ready to leave.
I drove her home in the SUV, cranking up the radio and singing along to every song that played. I wanted to give her some space, so I avoided any conversations that might press her too much. When we arrived, I walked her to the front door of her building. As she opened it, I stayed outside, respecting her boundaries and need for solitude.
“Taking some time to think is a smart move,” I reassured her. “If you need anything, I’m just a phone call away. Braxton and I are going to stay long enough to make sure Nik’s wound is safe for him to take care of on his own.”
She gave me a small smile. “Make sure to tell Atticus and Samantha I’m sorry for all the trouble my family has caused and that I’ll pay them back for everything.”
“Sam and Atticus don’t hold grudges. They understand you were caught up in all this mafia mess,” I replied.
With a sad sigh, she said, “I hope they forgive me.”
“They already have. It’s the type of people they are. I called them while I was out this morning and told them everything. They were happy to hear that Viktor had been taken care of and that no one will bother them again.”
Saying no more, I took her face in my hands, my thumbs brushing the delicate skin of her cheeks, and kissed her with a desperation that came from knowing this might be our last. Her lips were warm and soft, melding with mine in a way that made the world around us vanish.
For a fleeting moment, it was just us, lost in the depths of each other. She wrapped her hand around the back of my neck, pulling me closer, her heart hammering against my chest in a rhythm that matched my own. The kiss was evocative—a blend of love, pain, and longing—making it almost impossible to pull away. But as much as I didn’t want it to end, I knew it had to.
I bit her lower lip gently, dragging my teeth slowly across the flesh, ruing the bittersweet taste of our parting. It tore at me, leaving a hollow ache as we reluctantly pulled apart. Our breaths mingled for a final second. I didn’t know if we would ever find our way back to each other.
I rested my forehead against hers, catching my breath before letting her go. Angel dropped her head and haltingly stepped inside, closing the door behind her. The ache in my chest was sharp, but leaving her alone was the right call, even though it hurt.
As I walked away, I pulled out my phone and called Nik. “You got eyes on Angel’s place?”
“Yeah, we’re all set,” he replied.
I stopped short and glanced around, knowing there was an army of men out there blending into the shadows and keeping watch over her.
Loneliness hit me hard. Fuck, did I want to turn around and force my way in—make her understand all the reasons we should be together. Instead, I got back into the SUV and drove away, comforted by the thought that she was in safe hands for now.