44. ANASTASIA
Chapter forty-four
T he days after the wedding dragged on like a slow-moving storm. Staying mainly at home, I spent hour after hour mulling over everything that had happened. Working at Club Xyst in the evenings was impossible due to the army of bodyguards that followed me everywhere. When I attempted to go in and work, their presence made the club’s atmosphere tense and uncomfortable, driving away the elite patrons who required a certain degree of anonymity. Even mundane tasks like grocery shopping became missions. So I chose to remain home instead of dealing with all of that, leaving me with too much time to sit and think.
Today, I found myself on the sofa, arm draped over the back, staring out the window of my Chelsea brownstone. I watched neighbors come and go, their lives unfolding in a peaceful rhythm that contrasted sharply with my own chaotic existence. A couple of young boys had just scootered by, tossing firecrackers out as they went. My TV hummed softly in the background, but my focus stayed on the world outside my window.
A large bouquet of fragrant summer flowers—stargazer lilies, roses, and peonies—sat on the table between the kitchen and the living room, their scent a gentle reminder of Conan’s thoughtful nature.
Lost in my feels, I became aware of the fact that nearly dying had turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Waking up as a blank slate without a past and with only a future to consider had given me a newfound hope for tomorrow. There were no worries, no obligations, no insecurities—just endless possibilities. Sure, it had been terrifying to have no clue who I was or where I came from, but I was also the luckiest girl alive. Fate had landed me in the care of a man who wanted to be with me for who I truly was—not because of my family, not for what I could give him, not out of obligation—because I was just me . The wreck had been a once-in-a-lifetime reset button, a chance to explore what life had to offer.
I’d spent the last few days going through my options. On every path forward, I saw myself with Conan. I’d never met a man who was as big and badass as they come yet so willing to give me his heart, a heart he’d always protected from the pain that had cut him so deeply as a boy. He’d carefully made his way through life, enjoying all it had to offer…except true love. He’d had plenty of women willing to give him his every desire, but he’d rejected them. Then I’d fallen into his life, and unexplainably, he’d handed me his heart. No strings, no pressure, no questions asked—mine for the taking.
But was I the best for him? Could I possibly give him the love he deserved? I came with lots of baggage and had no idea how to be a warm, nurturing life partner. Every relationship I’d known had been transactional—well, except for Nik. Nik was the only person who’d ever cared about me. His was the only semblance of love I’d ever experienced, and our relationship was a far cry from normal. Because he was my twin, we were tied together in a unique way, and his protective affection meant the world to me, but it wasn’t the same as having someone choose to be with you.
No one got to pick their parents or the family they were born into, but we did have the power to choose who we loved. Entrusting someone with your heart was a terrifying proposition. I wasn’t sure I could do it now…or ever.
Earlier, I’d promised Lucian I’d go down to the club before it opened today to meet with him and the guys about the midyear financials. Although I was restless and lonely, I didn’t plan to stay long. The bodyguards were making everyone uncomfortable, driving away our exclusive clientele. I knew I should tell the guys I needed to take a break from the club, but the thought of walking away was devastating. Club Xyst had been my refuge for years. There, I was confident, powerful, and even adored. But it had become an unbearable situation. The guys would never ask me to stay away, but it was probably for the best if I did.
I arrived at the club a little before 8:00 p.m., and the line outside was already long. People were eager to participate in our special Fourth of July festivities. Slade stood at his post, towering and vigilant.
“Hey, Slade,” I said, nearing the entrance.
He grinned. “Good to see you tonight, Ana. The last few days have been better with you around.”
“Thanks, Slade. But tonight might be my last. I can’t deal with the army of men that follows me everywhere. It’s making everyone nervous and hurting the club. Our best patrons don’t want attention drawn to their, let’s say, extracurricular activities.”
Slade nodded. “Don’t worry about the club. People will get over it soon. And no matter what you decide, you know I’ll always be here for you.”
On the first night I’d attempted to come back to work, I had told Slade everything that happened—from leaving New York for Tacoma to the chaos of my fake wedding. He had always been a good listener, understanding and supportive, and I’d owed him that much. We’d always been close, and I wanted to make sure he heard everything straight from me. His support meant the world to me, but I didn’t want to do anything that might hurt the club.
Slade glanced at the four bodyguards hovering nearby. “Yeah, I get it. It does look like the place is surrounded by FBI agents or something.”
I laughed. “Exactly. It might be good for me and the club if I took some time away. Maybe I should think of it as a long-overdue vacation. I’d love to go somewhere tropical with pi?a coladas.”
Slade chuckled and gave me a side-hug as he escorted me inside. “That sounds nice. Remember, there will always be a place for you here. Besides, you own a chunk of it. What can the guys say? It’s not like they can fire you.”
I hugged him tightly. “Thanks, Slade. You’re the best.”
While I moved toward the main floor of the bar, the familiar ambiance of Club Xyst enveloped me. This was my world. But as I glanced around, I realized it was time to make some tough decisions.
The bar was quiet, the kind of quiet that always settled in just before the bustle of the night’s chaos unfolded. I walked to the end of the bar, inhaling the familiar scent of polished wood and the faint musk of spilled drinks. Out of habit, my hand reached for the receipts box beneath the counter, but before I could grab it, a throat cleared over the loudspeakers.
I turned toward the stage, my heart skipping a beat. There, in the center, sat Conan, alone on a stool with a guitar in his hands and a mic in front of him. His grin was as big as ever. He began strumming a soft ballad, and the air seemed to hum with magic. Goose bumps spread over my arms.
I was drawn to him like a magnet, my feet carrying me closer to the stage, my eyes never leaving his. The first notes hummed through the speakers, and Conan’s voice filled the room, smooth and tender.
Will you live your life with me?
Wherever that may be?
Let me take you away from here,
To a place where love is free.
The melody wrapped around me, pulling me in, and as he sang, he kept his eyes locked onto mine. His lyrics painted a picture of a new life. It was a plea for me to come away with him. Every word sank deep into my soul, resonating with possibilities I hadn’t dared to dream. I was mesmerized. The rest of the world faded away until it was just the two of us and the music.
I found myself walking around to the side of the stage, moving as if in a daze, climbing the stairs one by one and making my way toward Conan, the song guiding my every step until I was standing right in front of him. His gaze was filled with a depth of emotion that left me breathless.
The song ended, but he continued to play softly.
“I love you, my Angel,” he said, his voice reverberating around the massive, empty space of the bar. The power of those words hit me with a force that made my knees buckle. I fell to the floor between his legs, my hand clutching his knee for support. Tears streamed down my face, words failing me as I was overcome.
Conan gently set the guitar on the floor and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his strong arms around me. I buried my face in his neck. The warmth of his skin and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat grounded me in the moment.
“I love you so much,” he whispered into my ear, his breath skittering across my skin. “It’s time for us to start our new life together, anywhere you want. If you’ll have me.”
My words came tumbling out. “I love you too. With all that I have and all that I am.”
I held onto him tightly, knowing that wherever we went, as long as we were together, it would be home. In that moment, nothing else mattered. It was just us, in our bubble of love and promise, ready to face whatever came next together.
After catching my breath, I pulled away and gazed up at him. He took my face in his big ole gentle hands, wiping my tears away with his thumbs. His touch anchored me, giving me the courage to say what had been bottled up inside.
With a shaky breath, I confessed, “I’m sorry it took me this long to swallow my pride and admit my feelings… You’ve been better to me than I ever deserved,” I choked out. “I can’t live if it means living without you. My life only makes sense when I’m with you.” My voice trembled. “I want you with every fiber of my being, and to call you mine forever.”
Conan’s eyes softened, and I continued, “From the moment fate brought me into your emergency department, you became the best example of what a man should be. Honest, even when I couldn’t be truthful about my past. Kind, when no one else was. Giving, to a complete stranger without hesitation. Funny, when things were at their worst. You protected my heart, my soul, and my body. You understood me even when I didn’t understand myself.”
Tears streamed down my face again as my breath hitched. “I’ve never experienced someone loving me just for who I am. I didn’t even consider it an option. But you showed me it was possible. I’ll go to the ends of the earth to be with you. I promise, Conan, I will be the woman you deserve. I will be worthy of your love.”
Conan’s eyes glistened as he leaned in to kiss me tenderly.
The kiss deepened, filled with all the promises we’d made to each other. As the kiss grew more passionate, a loud round of applause erupted around us. Startled, we broke apart and realized the bar was crowded with people. They clapped and cheered, and I couldn’t help but laugh through my tears. Conan tightened his arms around me, a smile spreading across his face.
Heat surged to my cheeks. I was sweetly embarrassed by the applause. Conan scooped me up and carried me off the stage. As we moved through the crowd, he kissed me gently and whispered how much he loved me and how he would protect me forever. He took me up the staircase to the elevator, his lips never far from mine.
When we entered the office, Lucian, Lachlan, Julian, and Gabriel were there, clapping their hands. “Did everything we said on stage get played over the speaker system?” I asked, half-laughing.
“Absolutely,” Lucian said with a teasing grin. “Loud and clear. And it was recorded on the multiple video cameras around the main floor too. I’ll make sure to save you a copy.”
Conan set me down, and Lucian pulled me into a big hug. “I’m so happy for you, Ana,” he said with genuine affection.
“You’re not mad at me for ruining our…arrangement?” I asked, worried about the impact it might have on our friendship and the club.
“Hell no,” he said, shaking his head and laughing. “I always knew I wasn’t the man you would spend a lifetime with. Go take some time to be a real person, not just some mafia princess. We’ll hold down the fort here at Club Xyst. And besides, we can always video chat.”
I kissed him on the cheek, grateful for his understanding. “You’re the best, Lucian,” I said, stepping back.
He extended his hand to Conan, who grasped it firmly. Then he wrapped an arm around Conan’s back and tugged him into a tight embrace. He gave Conan a couple of strong pats on the back. “I couldn’t be happier for both of you,” he said. “Ana, you couldn’t have found a better man.”
Conan grinned. “Thank you, man.”
Lachlan walked over to the office bar and reached underneath it, hauling out a small wooden box. Inside was a bottle of whiskey. “I’ve been waiting for just the right special occasion to crack open this bottle of J.J. Corry’s The Chosen whiskey for years,” he announced dramatically. He opened the bottle, savoring its fragrance for a moment before pouring everyone a shot.
“Before we drink, here’s an old Irish toast,” Lachlan said, raising his glass. “May love and laughter light your days and warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life’s passing seasons bring the best to you and yours.”
We all threw back our shots, the rich, smoky flavor of the whiskey warming us from the inside. I walked over to Lachlan and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m lucky to have so many good men—no, brothers—in my life,” I said.
Just then, Braxton and Nik walked into the office. “What’s the celebration?” Braxton asked, looking around. “What did we miss?”
Everyone laughed, and Lucian couldn’t resist teasing. “I’ll show you the video later, but let’s just say the happy couple professed their love for each other in front of at least a hundred people.”
“Lucian, hush,” I said, rolling my eyes.
Braxton turned to me. “So does that mean you’re coming back to Tacoma, Angel, or is Conan moving to the Big Apple?”
“No decisions have been made yet,” I said, glancing at Conan with a smile. “It doesn’t matter as long as we’re together. But I could really use a break from the army that watches my every move.”
Nik chuckled. “Since Angel owns the estate in Tacoma, it would only be fitting for a Thorin brother to move in. I’m sure that bit of news would piss the hell outta my father. Luca would take sport in rubbing Viktor’s nose in it as he rots in his basement.”
The room filled with laughter.
I looked around at my friends—my family—and felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the whiskey. For the first time in a long while, I saw a future filled with hope.
Conan stared at me, his eyes wide with shock. “You own the big Volkov estate too? Damn, every time I turn around, I find out you own another piece of luxury real estate. First the club, and now one of the largest estates in Tacoma? Did I find the right girl or what?” he teased, shaking his head.
I laughed, trying to explain. “I don’t own the estate or any of Viktor’s assets. I’m just the beneficiary of a trust he used to hide his American assets.”
Nik smirked. “Oh, how wrong you are, dear sister. I helped draw up that agreement. It should be easy enough to take Harrison Tate to court and have him removed as the trustee. You could be installed in his place, giving you full control over all the American assets.”
I frowned, skeptical about the possibility. “Tate would fight it and probably win. He’s a crooked mafia attorney after all.”
Nik waved a dismissive hand. “Ye of little faith. Trustees can be replaced for breach of fiduciary duty, incompetence, or conflict of interest. All of which apply in spades here. The fact that he works for our father is a clear conflict of interest in and of itself. Plus, the facts surrounding all of Viktor’s illegal dealings and the warrants out for his arrest will easily provide evidence that it’s in the best interest of the beneficiary and the trust assets for the shady attorney to be removed. Washington State law allows for trustees to be removed for these reasons, and there’s a provision in the trust for it.”
Nik’s confidence was contagious, and I was starting to see a glimmer of hope. “You really think it’s that simple?”
He nodded. “I’ll take care of it. You and Conan could use the change of scenery in Tacoma.”
Conan scrubbed his hand over his chin. “Tacoma is on the other side of the country, about as far away from Genovese and Moretti territory as we can get. Besides, you already have a bunch of friends there—Samantha, Bethany, Atticus, Braxton, and, of course, me.”
The thought of starting fresh in Tacoma sounded more appealing by the second. Expectantly, I searched Conan’s face, and his reassuring smile gave me the courage I needed.
“All right, let’s do it,” I said.
Nik clapped his hands together. “Perfect. I’ll get started on the legal stuff right away.”
Conan pulled me close, whispering in my ear, “We’ve got this, Angel. New beginnings, remember that.”
I nodded, resting my head against his chest. The future suddenly didn’t seem so daunting. We had a plan, and more importantly, we had each other.
Braxton cleared his throat, looking like he had something important to say. “Conan, I might not be returning to Tacoma with you guys just yet.”
We all turned to him. Nik leaned back, folding his arms, while Lucian tilted his head, waiting for an explanation.
Braxton glanced at Nik and then back at Conan and me. “Nik has invited me to work for him, and I want to have the chance to travel the world.”
Conan’s brows drew together, and his jaw tightened. “Are you sure about that, Brax?” He glared at Nik. “Nik’s a Russian mobster in hot water with the Volkovi Notchi until and unless they accept working for Luca. No offense, but you’re into a lot of shady, illegal shit all over the fucking world. What business does an EMT have traveling and working with someone like you?”
Braxton held up a hand in frustration. “Conan, back off. I know you mean well, but I want to live my life a little. I’ve always done the right thing, had the right job, and been there for everyone in need. It’s time I take a chance and live a little.”
Nik turned to Conan, a slight furrow forming between his brows. “I promise I’ll take care of Braxton and see that nothing bad happens to him.”
Sensing Conan’s tension, I put my arm around him. “Don’t be so overprotective that you smother him,” I said softly.
Conan relaxed slightly into my hug, but before he could respond, loud popping sounds echoed through the room. Conan’s head snapped up. “What the fuck? Is someone shooting downstairs?”
We all froze for a moment, and then Lucian burst into laughter. “Nah, it’s the fireworks on the Hudson River. They’re shooting them off from the barges in the middle of the river again this year.”
Gabriel’s eyes lit up. “Oh shit, that’s fabulous. With all the big news tonight, I had forgotten about the fireworks display. Hurry, let’s run up to the roof and watch.”
Lachlan grabbed some keys from the desk drawer and sprinted to a door next to the elevator, all of us following. He unlocked the door to the roof and shouted for Aria to join us.
We all ran up the stairs—well, except for Nik, who limped up—and exited out onto the rooftop.
The top of our building was the perfect spot to watch the fireworks. We walked over to the edge, the warm night air enveloping us. The sky was clear, and the incredible display of fireworks lit up the night against the backdrop of the bright stars above. Bursts of color and light reflected off the Hudson River. The scent of gunpowder wafted through the air, mixing with the slight breeze from the river as the synchronized music playing from the speakers around the area added to the magic of the moment.
Conan wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. We stood mesmerized by the stunning show. “Angel,” he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. “As long as we’re together, I don’t care where we live. If you let me love you, my life will be complete.”
He kissed me sweetly on the temple, rocking me in time to the music. I turned in his arms, looking up at him and clasping my hands behind his neck. “I love you, Conan. Living in Tacoma sounds like the fresh start I need. If you’re willing to take me there, I’m ready for our new life together.”
He smiled, his eyes reflecting the colorful bursts of light above us. “This is the perfect ending to the perfect night,” he murmured before capturing my lips in a passionate kiss.
The fireworks flashed and boomed around us, but we weren’t paying them any attention anymore. Our bodies were pressed together, the heat between us growing with every passing second. Conan’s hands roamed my back, pulling me even closer as our kiss deepened.
Every touch, every caress, sent electric sparks through my body. He threaded his fingers through my hair, tilting my head to deepen the kiss even more. My hands clung to his shoulders, his muscles tensing under my touch. The taste of him was intoxicating, leaving me breathless.
When we finally pulled apart, our breaths were ragged and our hearts pounded in sync. Conan’s eyes were dark with desire as he studied my face, his thumb gently brushing my swollen lips. “I can’t wait to get you home, my Angel.” His voice was a husky whisper filled with promise. “I want to show you how much I love you, hear you screaming my name over and over.”
His words sent a thrill through me, and my body reacted immediately. Heat pooled in my core, my hunger for him growing stronger. “Take me home, Conan,” I whispered back, my voice trembling with need.
He kissed me again, this time with a fierce urgency that made my knees weak. Roughly, he gripped my hips, pressing me against him, making it clear just how much he wanted me. The fireworks continued to explode above us, but the real show was the passion igniting between us.
After Conan placed one last kiss on my lips, his powerful hand enveloped mine with a protective strength, and he led me away. The electric current between us crackled, driving our steps faster in anticipation of what was to come. As we walked through the night, the future stretched out before us. This was the beginning of our forever.
If you're curious to find out about the other Thorin brothers as they battle their own inner demons, look for them in their respective books, "Night Shift" and "Swing Shift," as the "Broken Heroes" stand-alone series continues.