Chapter Twenty
Father didn’t want to see the Crown, and he seemed a bit doubtful about the whole idea, but he said he trusted Jaki and Lumi’s idea.
The court was already talking about the poem in the Temple.
If anyone guessed the meaning, they didn’t say so, and Jaki didn’t want to reveal to everyone right then that he’d taken the Crown.
Elswere had also taken Jaki’s advice about sending the court home. Due to snow and distance, not everyone could simply leave right away, but soon enough, they’d all be gone. Jaki was in his Father’s rooms a couple of mornings later when someone knocked.
It was Lord Smith. After the pleasantries, he spoke. “I heard you were going somewhere. Someone’s making preparations.”
“I’m going to pray at Rinder’s tomb.”
Lord Smith squinted. “Why would you pray to Rinder?”
“No, I’ll be praying to Elira at his tomb. When I return, we’ll be going to war with West Iceland. Considering the state of things, it seems fitting to go to the first King’s tomb. I doubt he expected his Kingdom to one day fall this low. Neither did the Goddess.”
“Ah. I see. I doubt anyone ever imagined this. I heard the High Mage was going with you.”
“He’s just to witness it so no one can say I messed with anything inside.”
“You could pray at the Temple.”
“I’m not the first who’s felt the need to go there.”
“True. May I sit?”
Elswere gestured. “Go ahead.”
Lord Smith sank into an armchair by Jaki’s. “I wanted to ask you something. I know I’ve already been leeching from your home for food and wine, but I have an issue. I have no wife or family back home. With the state of things, I didn’t bother looking for a spouse.”
“You’re not the only one,” said Elswere.
“I have a few servants who keep the place clean, and they’ve been there for a very long time.
Despite the cost, I’ve been ordering food from elsewhere for them.
Last time I wrote, just to check on things, one of the servants had a baby.
I don’t think she and her husband were intending to, and that’s probably why she didn’t mention being with child before.
Anyway, it happened, so…I can’t put them out to starve. She’s still recovering too.”
Jaki could see where things were going.
“The food I order for them is as cheap as I can get to stretch my money. There’s not much coming in for rents and taxes in my holding.
The price of food is too dear, and several farmers gave up entirely a few years ago.
The last shipment to my home was stolen, and they’ll be living off beans until another comes.
I was wondering if I could have a little of your stores here to bring to my servants.
It’ll be a while before I can get anything else. The distance…”
“Of course,” said Elswere. “With the court going, we’ve got enough lentils, porridge, and ingredients for horsebread to feed us and the remaining servants. Take some.”
“Aren’t you glad that’s what we order and eat now?” asked Jaki.
Elswere grumbled. Lentils certainly weren’t his favorite food. “Take what you need for your servants and yourself, of course.”
“Thank you,” said Lord Smith. “I’ve already sent a note ahead to muster the fighting men. We’ll meet you at Venter.”
Elswere nodded. “You’ll be under Jaki, and he’s got his head on straight despite being young.”
“You’re fighting?” Lord Smith glanced at Jaki.
“Of course.”
“I’ll be going, but not to fight,” said Elswere. “Age isn’t being too kind.”
Lord Smith stood and bowed. “Very well. I’ll see you all soon, and I thank you for the food.”
Elswere peered at his son after Lord Smith left the room. “When you come back after the war…” He paused. Perhaps the idea of Jaki never returning played in his mind even if he didn’t want to say it. “What are you and Lumi doing?”
“We’ll both be coronated, Iceland will be united again as it should be, and we’ll get married.”
Elswere blinked at him.
“If those who remember him as the pleasure slave gossip all day and think I’m doing it because I accidentally got him up the pole, then so be it. I don't care what you think either. I love him.”
“You’re-you’re truly going to marry him? Your brother?”
“He’s the man I love. We both feel the same and can’t change it.”
Elswere shifted, stared at the fire, and plucked at his sleeve. “You’re not going to regret this later?”
“No, and I don’t regret our daughter even though I wish a lot of things had gone differently. Lumi says he doesn’t want to be known as Edur, so they don’t have to know the truth.”
“What if they look closer and guess? I can’t properly tell with my eyes, but the resemblance must be more noticeable since he’s not disguising himself. People might also wonder why he looks different now if they remember him from before. And if one starts to think a certain way and says anything…”
“If people think he’s my brother, and Edur didn’t actually die…” Jaki shrugged. “They can say what they want.”
“All right.”
Jaki stood and smoothed his coat. “Do you hate Lumi?”
“No. I hate what we did. And what I did to him. I can’t imagine facing him again.”
“I know this is difficult for you. It’s difficult for him too.
You could try to speak to Lumi and see Jacqueline.
They’re your family too, and there’s little left of it.
It’ll ease Lumi’s mind if you don’t avoid him entirely because he thinks you hate him.
He’s been through enough. Plus, Jacqueline won’t be a baby forever. She could use a Grandfather, you know.”
Elswere looked down at his lap. “All right.”
***
They sat in a carriage for the trip with guards following on horses. They too thought Jaki was going to pray to Elira in their first King’s tomb before the war officially started. If they thought it was odd, they weren’t saying anything about it.
Lumi looked so lost without their daughter.
Jaki missed her too, and he figured it must have been worse for the one who’d carried and birthed her.
He was used to feeding her too. He had to massage his pecs and dump the milk so they didn’t grow too full and painful which could lead to them drying up too soon.
Mary said he had to trick his body to keep producing.
It wasn’t too bad in the carriage, and since a second was following for the High Mage to ride in, the guards could take turns inside to get out of the frigid air.
For the first three nights, they stayed at inns, and in the morning, they traded the horses out since they had a hard job with all of the snow.
Afterward, they slept in the carriage since nothing was nearby.
The guards had brought decent tents and thick sleeping rolls to use.
The wide, sturdy wheels kept them going despite the snow, and ahead, two horses rode to trample it down a bit. So far, they’d been maintaining a slow, steady pace.
Lumi had gotten into his seat, and with furs covering them, Jaki cuddled him close.
Lumi hadn’t seemed inclined toward physical affection in the past few days, and Jaki assumed there would be times when Lumi might want to keep his body entirely to himself.
Little things like that are often taken for granted.
Jaki stroked his hair which was almost entirely white except for a few stubborn patches where the glamor soap hadn’t quite worn away.
Lumi lifted his head from his chest. “You probably want, erm…”
“What?”
“I could give you a blowjob.”
Jaki widened his eyes. “I don’t need one.”
Lumi’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I’m sure you need release at some point.”
Jaki shifted to look at his face better. “Where is this coming from?”
“Well…it’s been a while. I’m not supposed to have sex yet.”
“I won’t die if my dick’s not sucked. My hand works if I need it.”
“If we’re going to get married-married people have sex of some sort. I should be able to please you, and-”
“And what? Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
“My body isn’t the same,” Lumi said in a rush. “I can still take care of you in that way. I don’t think I can have sex without my heat anyway, but a blowjob is fine, and it’s something. Maybe I’ll look better in a few months if you can wait a bit for real sex.”
Jaki raised an eyebrow. “Look better?”
“I don’t look quite like before,” Lumi mumbled as he looked away. “The pregnancy...”
“That’s what you’re worried about? Come here.” Jaki drew him down to lie again and stroked his hair. “Lumi, I don’t care if your body isn’t the same. We all age, and things change.”
“Not like this.”
Jaki had heard pregnancy could cause stretch marks, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out a person’s stomach might not be flat for a while.
Or ever again. It didn't bother him. “I don’t care if your body doesn’t look the same as last year.
I didn’t know what you looked like under your clothes when you first came to the Castle.
I still wanted you. I want you now. We can wait for sexual things. ”
“Then why can’t I give you a blowjob?”
“You clearly aren’t into it, and I don’t want you using your heat.
Now that I know you use it like a tool to trick yourself into believing you want to do the action-sit up for a moment.
” The pinched look on Lumi’s face pierced Jaki as they got comfortable, and he took Lumi’s shoulders because he wanted to look him in the eye.
“I don’t want us doing anything until you’re fully ready to do exactly what I asked. ”
Lumi furrowed his brow and cocked an ear. “What are you talking about?”
“I want to stretch and oil you myself before I make you cum on my cock. All of your pleasure will come entirely from me. Not the heat. I don’t care if it takes you months to be ready either.”
He figured it would take quite a while for Lumi to want sex on his own, and not because he thought he needed to keep Jaki’s balls empty and planned to use the heat to get by.
“It’s going to be slow and gentle, not a near-rabid hate fuck on the floor of our sitting room,” he added.