Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
LIAM
The room is still gray when the bed moves, and I squint my eyes open. We moved at some point in the night, so we’re in Matty’s room with Darwin and Matty. I think we both needed to check on Darwin. Then we fell asleep.
It feels like that might have been twenty minutes ago. There’s a chance it wasn’t long. It stays dark out so long this time of year, there’s really no telling how long ago it was since I didn’t look at the clock.
I think the assholes showed up on our island sometime around six. I think, given my distorted sense of time as we hunted them, it was an hour. Then we cleaned up and tended to Darwin. Maybe another hour.
So I took Zephyr to bed sometime around eight or so? Let’s call it nine. The darkness outside is absolute, so I really have no sense of time after that. There’s no clock in Zephyr’s room, so I don’t know how long I tended to him.
Honestly, I didn’t know what he needed from me. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to give him what he needed. I’m not the kind of lover he is. I don’t have it in me to be as harsh and rough as he is.
Which I think is what he was asking for when he told me he needed to be fucked.
I did what I thought I could, which I don’t think is what he wanted.
Still, when I realized how he was reacting to me, I followed his emotional cues.
Both until he stopped crying, and then again when I gave him a softer experience that he’s probably never felt before.
I don’t consider Matty and me vanilla, but I don’t think I have the freak in me that Zephyr is used to. Sex is sex. It’s not personal unless it’s with Matty. I’m usually far more detached with other people than I was last night.
Even though Zephyr needed something from me that I didn’t know I could give him, I still gave him everything I had. Not to be corny, but… it was beautiful. Everything about being with him was fucking wonderful.
He sighs, and I open my eyes. I landed on my back at some point, which doesn’t surprise me. I’m not used to being wrapped around someone anymore. Something that makes my chest ache.
Zephyr is looking at Darwin. His head is on Matty’s chest. Even from where I’m lying, I can see Darwin breathing.
Zeph shifts to look at me, and I think the comfort of last night might have turned into embarrassment. Or maybe bashfulness. Is he going to lash out if I offer a gesture?
His eyes are on mine. He stares, waiting.
“Come here, Zeph,” I whisper. “Let me hold you.”
His shoulders relax, and he releases a breath. A flutter of warmth blossoms in my chest when he comes into my arms. I roll back to my side and bring him close.
“He’s okay,” I assure him. Not out of the woods, probably, and perhaps it’s wishful thinking, but I believe he’ll be okay.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever been so terrified for another person in my entire life,” he confides. It’s unlikely his voice would carry to Matty and Darwin if either of them were awake, with how low he spoke.
I nod. “I know. Neither have I.”
He adjusts so he can meet my eyes. “No? Not even Matty?”
“Matty’s never been in that kind of danger.” I pause. “Okay, in a similar, maybe parallel experience when I was begging for No Face to spare his life, yes. But this is different, isn’t it? The same, but different. Matty wasn’t bleeding.” I stop my words right before the sentence ends in ‘to death.’
Zephyr nods. “Yeah. I remember that day. I was sick to my stomach for a month after. Every time I thought about it. How… cold the argument was. Like Matty wasn’t a living, breathing person.”
“He was ranting about dead bodies,” I say and glance over Zephyr at my sleeping fiancé. “Our single objective is to protect our secrets. I get it. I’m not sure I’d have been so willing to make an exception if I’d been standing on the opposite end. Yet, this is still really different.”
“Matty’s going to have nightmares,” Zephyr says quietly.
“I think we all are.”
He nods, his eyes closing. He does a good job of refraining from letting the pain reflect on his face. I think he’s spent many years hiding any emotion.
“Fuck me again,” he whispers.
I shiver. Rolling away, I reach for the condoms on top of the nightstand. Zephyr watches me as I roll it on. He has lube in his hands, though I’m not sure where he found it. His hand moves over my wrapped cock, slicking me up. Then we’re staring at each other again.
“What do you need?” I whisper.
He licks his lips, and I think I know before he answers. It flashes in his eyes. “Last night. Same thing.”
“Both?”
Zephyr nods. “Yeah. If…”
I bring his mouth to mine and kiss him. It releases some of his doubts. “Definitely,” I say against his mouth.
He kisses me again and then rolls over. I probe his ass, gauging how much lube is there. We didn’t wash up last night. I’m not generously covered, so I add a little more before curling around him and sliding home.
His gasp is almost immediate this time. He doesn’t fight his emotions as I fuck him as hard as I can.
Not quickly. Last night, I knew I didn’t have it in me to take him in the same way he fucks me, but I thought I could maybe give him some of what he wanted.
I don’t fuck like a wild animal with claws and grunts and that level of pain.
So I put as much force as I could behind every thrust. I wasn’t at all convinced that it would satisfy him. Imagine my surprise that he took something from it anyway. Something I hadn’t even imagined that he needed.
I knew he’d never been treated like that before. I could tell by the way he clung to me when I took him slowly, making him feel something else entirely once he broke down in my arms.
Now he’s asking for it again. I’m not at all shaken with emotion that this is something he wants from me. He trusts me to…
Well, I’d been startled when he eventually started crying last night, but it was a visceral feeling when something in him released. All the tension in his body melted away as he cried. The fight he’d been struggling with stopped as he succumbed to whatever he was feeling.
It doesn’t take long for him to start crying again. This time, I grip his hand, lacing our fingers together. I wrap my arm under him and hug him tightly while I give him exactly what he wants. Fuck him with hard, deep thrusts. Steadily. Leaving enough time between each for him to feel it all.
“Liam,” he murmurs. Zephyr tries to twist to look at me, and I think that’s the cue that he needs to put it all away again.
Gently, I pull out of him. He rolls before I move from over him, dragging my face to his, and our mouths come together. We rearrange somewhat awkwardly until I can get back inside him. He knows what to expect now, so he immediately sinks into it.
Zephyr was out of his element last night.
He didn’t know what I was doing to him, and I think he was processing as it was happening.
This morning is different. He knows what’s coming.
My heart races because he’s into it. He’s giving his all to me.
Completely participating. Deeply invested in our slow, passionate sex until he comes on my cock and I unload soon after.
Then we lie wrapped together, breathless, my cock still in his ass as it slowly… hmm. Well, not ready to soften quite yet, apparently. Our mouths still linger, kissing. Sharing oxygen. Prolonging the intimate moment.
“Thank you,” he whispers.
I snort. “You’re welcome?”
Zephyr rolls his eyes. He shakes his head a little. “I don’t mean for the orgasm. Or the sex. I just mean… giving me somewhere to go.”
I rest my forehead against his. “Thank you for trusting me with all your pieces.”
“I didn’t know how locked up I was until you burst through it like a sledgehammer. It’s like you forced me to face it all, but not head-on. I had to acknowledge it before you allowed me to put it all away again.”
“You’re giving me far too much credit, Zeph. All I did—”
“Don’t,” he says quietly. “Don’t downplay it. Please.”
I press my mouth to his. I hate that tone in his voice. Like I was invalidating him. “Sorry,” I murmur into his mouth. “Whatever you need. I’m happy to be here for it.”
His eyes meet mine. “Are you?”
Without thinking about what I’m saying, I let the words flow. “I’ve been with Matty since we were kids. I never believed that I could be open to… uh… connecting with someone else. Much less someone who hates me. I don’t know what I’m saying. I guess I need this with you as much as maybe you do.”
“For the record, I didn’t hate you. There’s surprisingly a lot of effort and energy that goes into hating someone. I did, however, think you were the scum of the earth for what you did to him and how you subsequently treated him.”
“Me too, Zeph. Trust me, I hate myself.”
“How about you don’t hate yourself anymore,” Matty says quietly.
I sigh. Of course, he’s awake. It’s not like we were particularly quiet. Or still. I’m sure we shook them awake if nothing else.
“I’m sorry. I’m trying not to because you need me not to,” I admit, not picking up my head to look at Matty. “I’m trying to be what you need me to be. You’re my priority, and I’ve forgotten how to show you that. I’m trying to change that.”
Matty huffs. There’s shuffling behind Zephyr, and Matty’s head suddenly pops up over his shoulder. I laugh. His dark hair is all a mess, ruffled and fluffed in a way he hates, but that my fingers are itching to bury into.
“I’ve always been your priority,” Matty says, his frown still very evident on his face.
“You haven’t,” Zephyr disagrees. I hear Darwin’s grunt of disagreement, too. Matty frowns at them both.
“If it’s any consolation, Liam isn’t the same person he was a month ago. He is becoming a better person,” Darwin says.
We all adjust to look at Darwin. He’s still lying down with his eyes closed. He likely feels all of us looking at him because his lips curl a little.
“Head still hurts?” I ask.
He nods a little. “A constant drum that won’t stop.”
“Matty, want to get him some more ibuprofen?”
Matty nods. He scampers from the bed and disappears into the bathroom. Zephyr pulls away, and I’m disappointed that I’m no longer lodged in his body. He rolls to Darwin and takes him gently into his arms.
“Are you okay?”
Darwin nods. “Yeah. Sorry to have scared everyone.”
“I’m guessing he snuck up on you.”
Darwin doesn’t answer. A minute passes, and he frowns. “I don’t know. I can’t remember.”
“He did,” Matty says as he comes back into the room. “That’s what they say.” He climbs back onto the bed and sticks the pill into Darwin’s mouth.
“You probably need some water,” I say. “I think we all do, actually.”
Matty curls at Darwin’s back.
“Get over here,” Zephyr says to me. “Put your cock back inside me. I miss it.”
Desire skitters up my chest. I don’t miss the way Matty grins or the smirk on Darwin’s face. Unsure what might come out of my mouth, I don’t respond, but I do as he says. I love the way he groans as I sink into him. It leaves me breathless.
“You’re still hard, Liam,” Zephyr notes.
“I think that’s your fault.”
“How so?”
“I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure.”
He chuckles. “Fuck me again, then. But be mindful of Darwin. He has a head injury.”
I grin and wrap around him from behind. I brush my hand over Darwin’s arm and reach beyond him to Matty, tangling my fingers into his wild curls.
My hips move slowly as I enjoy this man’s sweet hole. He groans softly, his body moving minutely with me. He’s trying to hold still, so he doesn’t disturb Darwin. I hope I’m making him feel too good to manage. That’s the goal.
“You two are really hot together,” Matty says, picking up his head. “You know that? There’s something immediately pornographic about seeing you two together. It’s hot and intense.”
“You should feel it from my position,” Zephyr says. I bury my smile in his hair when I hear how breathless he sounds. “His cock breaks me and then puts me back together. It’s as terrifying as it is liberating.”
“Huh. I’m not sure that’s what you’re supposed to take from sex,” Matty says. “I like the orgasms, personally.”
Darwin snorts.
“Sex isn’t always just sex,” Zephyr says. He reaches beyond Darwin to touch Matty’s cheek. His brown eyes peek over Darwin’s shoulder. “Sometimes, it’s far more personal than that. Sometimes it means a whole fucking lot more than a simple orgasm.”
Fuck. Is he referring to me right now? A warmth floods my body, and I grip him tighter, burying my cock deeper and letting him feel the way my body aches for him. Hoping he feels it.
“I know,” Matty says softly. “I think I said that because I wasn’t sure how I felt about you feeling intimate with Liam.”
My lungs seize. Oh no.
“No,” Matty says quickly, and his face is shoved over Zephyr’s shoulder so it’s in mine, making Zephyr laugh. “Sorry. I… I like this. I like us all together like this. I want them to be more to you and you to them.”
“Do you?” I ask, meeting his eyes.
Matty smiles. “I want this forever, Liam. The four of us. It works best if the animosity is gone, and… it is hot seeing you together, but it makes me feel all warm and smooshy inside too. It’s kind of gross but not in a bad way.”
I sigh. “I love you. I’ll never, ever take you for granted again, Matty. You’ll never spend a day alone for the rest of your life.”
His smile grows. “I know.”
Gripping his hair, I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him. He leans back after a minute and settles with Darwin. “Now make Zephyr make those sounds again that you did a while ago. I want to see him come this time.”
Darwin nods. “Seeing you all soft and vulnerable is the best thing in my life,” he murmurs.
Zephyr grunts, but he doesn’t make light of the situation.
He reaches for my hand, laces our fingers together, and I get the distinct impression he’s telling me to fuck him again, even though he’s kissing Darwin now.
So I do. All morning. I make him cry and hold him as I give him everything inside me to heal all those wounds.
Somehow, I think we all heal from this, though maybe it’s just me being sappy.