Chapter 13 Bear
BEAR
As I smiled at her, the only thing I could think was that she wasn’t safe here.
I mean, if one of Lars’ men was at the hospital and didn’t go after her, then was she really in danger after all?
Sure, she walked in on him and Piper, but he put her down.
He released Piper once she walked in. If she was in danger, wouldn't he have taken the opportunity to hurt both of them?
Maybe there’s a chance I can get her out of this.
As much as I wanted her—as much as I needed her—it was better if I kept her at a distance.
Removed her from this entire situation while I could.
Maybe we’d read this all wrong, and she really wasn’t a target.
I wanted to believe it. I wanted to believe that she was still safe from all this.
That she could keep on trucking, even though all of us had to stalemate in this new, massive safehouse until we could figure something out.
She deserves better than this.
A grin spread across Margot’s face, and desire ignited her eyes.
Happiness percolated along her face, broadening that grin into the bright smile I’d fallen in love with as a teenager.
She made it hard to concentrate on the facts.
She made it hard to concentrate on what I knew I had to do.
Margot, out of all the women, had the lesser of the attachments.
She wasn’t married to me. We didn’t have children.
There had been no profession of love. And from what I could gather from her story, Lars’ men didn’t know she had even interacted with us.
Or, they did, and they simply didn’t care.
Either way, it was more dangerous than safe for her to stay here.
Especially if I could save her from this now.
I knew in order to protect her, I’d have to get her away from here. Away from the crew.
Away from me.
Margot took another step toward me, her head tilting back to keep my eyes in view.
And slowly, I saw her pupils dilate. I smelled her womanly scent as she walked toward me.
A smell I’d dreamt about for years. Her hands reached for my shirt and she slowly pulled it up, allowing her fingertips to dance against my skin.
I hissed at her touch as it ignited fire in my veins.
“How’re your stitches doing?” she asked.
I watched her slowly pull up my shirt as my cock began to come alive.
“Doing good. Clean. Not infected,” I said, chuckling.
Her head fell off to the side as she slid my shirt up to my chest. Her eyes danced around my skin, not paying attention to my wounds in any way. I caved to her, falling into her. I slipped deeper into that hole as my arm wrapped around her, holding her steady to me.
And when her eyes came back up to meet mine, I slipped.
I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up, crashing our lips together.
She wrapped her arms around me for the first time in years as her curves blanketed my muscles.
I walked her into the wall, pinning her there as her legs wrapped around me.
Her tongue felt delightful. Like velvet sliding against my tongue.
And her moans. Her sweet, delicate moans. They filled the back of my throat as my hands gripped her hips.
“Fuck,” I growled.
I whipped her around and we tumbled to the bed. She squealed as we bounced, then she rolled us over. She straddled my hips as she shed her doctor’s coat. Then, quickly, her shirt came over her head.
My eyes stared at the voluptuous breasts that had grown since the last time we’d made love.
I reached up for them, cupping her blue bra that accented the sun-kissed skin of her body.
I massaged them. Gripped them. I groaned with pleasure as she fell back down to me.
Our worlds collided as my cock rose to the occasion, begging to be between her thighs.
Begging to fill her up. Begging to hear her call out my name as I made love to her like I had that night.
The last night we ever had together.
But then, as I rolled her over, a shooting pain rocketed through my arm. It rushed around my shoulder and slinked down my back, locking up my entire spine.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed.
“Bear?” Margot asked breathlessly.
I pulled myself quickly away from her, gripping my shoulder muscle. I stood up, grunting and cursing as she scrambled off the bed. I heard her put her shirt back on. She came up to me, her hands at the ready.
But, I quickly pulled away. The pain, a staunch reminder of the danger we were in.
And it solidified what I knew I needed to do in order to keep her safe.
“Bear, let me—”
“No,” I said curtly.
I whipped around and backed away so she couldn’t touch me.
“If we’ve busted one of your stitches—”
“I’m not bleeding, Margot.”
“Then, let me just take a—”
“No!” I roared.
She jumped, and it broke my heart. Her eyes widened with tears, and it shattered my soul.
I backed up until I settled against the wall, resting my entire body.
I ached. Every part of me ached. The pain in my shoulder triggered a mass reaction, kicking up every wound I had.
Making every single one of them cry out in pain.
To remind me of what I couldn't have with Margot. No matter how much I wanted it.
“I know that tone of voice,” she said.
“We can’t do this,” I said.
“Then, we won’t. But don’t push me away.”
“You can’t stay here.”
“I’ll find another room, then. Sleep on a couch somewhere.”
“No, I mean in this warehouse,” I said.
She furrowed her brow at me, and I knew I was about to unleash the sharp tongue of my ex.
“I’m scared, and I don’t know what to do, and you’re choosing now to push me away? To kick me out of the only place I’m safe?” Margot asked.
“You aren’t involved in this. The altercation at the hospital proved that.”
“You said so yourself, the man’s seen my face!”
“And if you had been a threat to him then and there, or at any point in time before, he would have attacked you, too. But he didn’t. He had no idea who you were. He had no idea of your interaction with us. Which means you’re still free of this. So, you need to get the hell out of here.”
“I’m not leaving anywhere without you.”
“You don’t have me, Margot,” I said.
And when a tear slipped down her cheek, I knew I’d solidified my fate.
Her safety for my pain.
“Are you telling me that after bringing me out here to protect me, you want me to leave? After racing across town and hauling my shit in here, you want me to go? Leave me vulnerable to those assholes? Bear, even if they don’t know I’m involved with you guys, they could come back to the hospital and find me just for walking in on him and Piper,” Margot said.
“Aren’t you the one that accused us of not being good people?” I asked.
“What?” she said breathlessly.
“Aren’t you the one that was utterly disgusted with the path I’d taken in life? No college degree. Running around with hoodlums. With a crew that does nothing but, what did you say? Kill people for money?”
“Bear, that isn’t—”
“You aren’t a part of this. You’re still innocent in all this. Which means we need to keep it that way.”
“Is this payback for what happened between us in high school?”
I rolled my eyes. “Really? You’re going to dredge that far into the past for this argument?”
“I’m serious. Because things didn’t end well between us. Is this some sort of payback? To try and get me to see how you felt?”
“Margot, I’m not that petty. No matter how much you want to paint me that way, I’ve got more productive things to do with my energy.”
“So, this has nothing to do with the fact that after we made love for the first time and you told me how much you loved me, I brought up Stanford?”
“No,” I said.
“So, this has nothing to do with the fact that directly after you bared your soul to me, I told you about the school that had accepted me so we could talk about it? Instead of telling you I loved you, too?”
“Don’t do this,” I said.
“No, I think it’s the perfect time to do this.
Because all this time, I think you’ve resented me for that.
I brought up Stanford to try and compromise with you.
To try and come up with a plan that kept both of us in each other’s lives because I did love you, Bear.
All those years ago. And I think you took it in a wrong direction.
I think you took it as me trying to dodge my feelings rather than come up with our—”
“This has nothing to do with high school!” I exclaimed.
“Then, why the fuck are you pushing me away like you did back then!?” she yelled.
“Look, I get it. You got accepted to Stanford, but you were in love with an idiot. I barely graduated high school with passable grades, you were fucking salutatorian. I get it, Margot. And I’m sorry you’ve harbored it all this time.
What could’ve been had we compromised. But you needed to go off to Stanford and live your dream.
I needed to walk my own path to find the family I have now.
But this shit right now? It’s got nothing to do with what happened all those years ago. Bury it, Margot. Let it go.”
And when she scoffed, I knew I’d driven the last nail into the coffin.
“Let it go, huh?” she asked.
“Yeah. Let it go,” I said.
She shook her head. “It’s just like you, you know.”
“That’s fine if you think it that way.”
“And for the record? You’re the one who pushed me away.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah. You're the one who got up and walked out on me. Put on your rugged clothes and your cold demeanor and left me laying in the woods underneath the stars on that little blanket, curled up against nothing after fighting with you.”
“I fought with you because—”
“It doesn’t matter, Bear!” she exclaimed.
Tears streamed down her cheeks in rivers as my heart longed to pull her close.
“It doesn’t matter who started or who ended that fight. You left me on a blanket in the woods, under some stars, alone. Cold, naked, barely breathing through my tears, and alone. Don’t you ever forget that,” she said.
I watched her pick up her doctor’s coat off the floor as she stormed past me.
“Don’t you ever forget who truly left who that night,” she glowered.
And even though I kept my back to her as she stormed out of the room, my body broke.
I forced myself to stay rooted as she gathered her things, marching back out to her car.
I forced myself to stay put. To not go after her like I wanted.
This was for the best, and I had to stand my ground as much as possible.
But her words still echoed off the corners of my mind. Haunting me. Taunting me. Making me feel like the monster I wondered if I’d become.
Because she was right.
For all the fighting we did that night—for all the things that had been misinterpreted—I was the one that got up and left.
I was the one that turned my back on her.