37
EMERSYN
I wrapped my arm around the guard and slit his throat before I pulled my handgun and shot another as he advanced.
Bullets peppered the wall and I lunged for cover.
I popped up and heard their boots thud against the ground as they ran towards the corner.
Anticipating them, I waited—they didn’t even hesitate or check before they turned—idiots. I shot both rapidly and moved on.
After the discussion about my father, I’d settled into the cold, resolute path of what we had to accomplish.
I executed each job with precision and closed myself off to anything other than what would help me and the team succeed.
Any time I started to question what I was doing, or felt any sort of way about my decisions, I simply shoved the unwanted emotions aside.
Healthy? Absolutely not. But, it was all I was capable of handling or I felt on the verge of a breakdown.
I carefully entered a room, shot the enemy in the corner and stalked towards the door across the way.
It barged open before I could reach it. It was too late to dive for cover—I shoved the gun away and got in close.
I put a bullet in the man’s stomach, and a knife into his throat, before I pulled us both to the ground.
A surge of anger came up out of nowhere and I tore the knife out only to bury it again.
I straddled the man and watched his life bleed away with each stab, horror and fear in his eyes.
Even once the light faded, I still hovered there, panting—gasping in air like I’d been the one to die.
A hand on my shoulder had me acting without thought.
I turned and grabbed whoever it was by the vest and brought my gun up to their chin.
“It’s just me,” Riggs snapped. “Jesus, Syn, get it together.”
I tried to shove him away as I got to my feet. Instead, he grabbed my arms and pushed me against the wall.
“I could have shot you!” He growled. “You can’t leave yourself exposed like that before it’s all clear.”
“Fuck off,” I snarled and moved past him towards the door.
We met Hangman and the others near the idling SUV.
“Alright, final tally,” Hangman said around his usual after-a-job toothpick. “How many did you get, Sinny? I think my total was around ten.”
“She got more than that.” Mouse tossed his gear in the back of the SUV. “She left quite the trail.”
“Every turn, I came across her handiwork,” Jamal agreed. “I’m surprised she even left any for us.”
I climbed into the SUV and stared out the window as we headed back to the safe house.
Their words meant nothing, nor did they cut through the numbness that was my constant companion.
I tuned out the chatter and looked out the window, bent on ignoring everyone.
I didn’t care how many kills I’d gotten, just that they were all dead.
I’d humored Hangman with his bets for a while at first, but lately I hadn’t been in the mood.
Once we got back to the safe house, I shut myself away in my bedroom and peeled off my blood-splattered pants and ripped shirt while the shower water heated. I leaned heavily over the sink and tried not to think too hard about anything.
I heard the door of the bedroom open and shut with a quiet click.
I palmed a knife, but instinct told me it was probably Riggs.
Sure enough, he pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The space was immediately too small and his large form made me feel claustrophobic.
I stepped into him, my knife against his groin.
“Get the fuck out,” I growled.
Riggs smirked. “Not this time, Syn.”
His fingers closed around my wrist. Quickly and efficiently, he pressed my hips against the counter and twisted my wrist behind my back. He’d warned me this was going to happen eventually and I’d walked on eggshells ever since. Now that it was finally happening, I almost felt relief.
“Drop it,” he hissed in my ear. His warm breath sent goosebumps coasting across my skin despite the steam rapidly filling the room with heat. When I didn’t obey fast enough, he moved my arm an inch and I grunted in pain and released the blade.
“Good girl,” he breathed.
At his words, I felt the tension in my chest release. My reaction was so shocking, I didn’t resist when he guided both of my hands to the counter.
“Keep them there.” Another command.
“Stay still.” I felt him move the blade under my sports bra. “Or I might slip.”
He cut the fabric away and tossed it aside, then moved to my panties.
I was barely breathing, not sure if I wanted him to be doing this, but I’d seen the look on his face when he’d walked in—he wasn’t taking no for an answer.
That sent a thread of panic through the haze of whatever spell he had me under.
I shoved my hips back into him to try and get some space and regain some control.
Instead, I felt the blade dig into my hip.
Riggs growled and his other hand went to my throat.
He pressed his hips forward and pinned me more firmly against the counter.
“See what you made me do?” He brought the blade in front of my face and the panic unraveled further at its proximity to my scar.
Blood glistened on the steel—my blood. I gasped in air, even though he wasn’t holding my neck hard enough to restrict.
My panties slid down my legs, already cut enough to slip down on their own.
There was something raw about being naked while he was still fully clothed.
My mind fought against the vulnerability of it, even as my body had other ideas.
“Get out,” I rasped, my voice was nothing more than a whisper.
Riggs nuzzled into my ear. “Too late for that.”
I tried to move my head away, but he held me in place.
His other hand moved the flat of the blade across the swell of my breast. My inability to be in control took me back to a time in the forest I didn’t like thinking about.
My breath hitched as his hand moved to the back of my neck.
He slowly bent me forward and kicked my ankles apart.
I jumped when I felt the hilt of the knife slide between my legs, and rub over my clit.
My body trembled as he moved it between my pussy and back up, then did it again—not penetrating—only stroking the hilt back and forth.
Riggs’ breathing stuttered and I could see him in the mirror as he watched the knife.
The hunger in his eyes lit a fire between my legs, and at the fourth pass I bit back a sound of irritation.
He smirked and brought the hilt up to my lips. “You’re getting wet, Syn.”
“Fuck you,” I stammered.
He tossed the knife into the sink and maneuvered me toward the shower.
I knew what was about to happen, and although my body seemed confused, I absolutely did not want Riggs near me.
I lashed out and caught him off guard. With a grunt, he went down on one knee, and I slipped past him in an attempt to get out of the bathroom.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” he snarled.
Riggs grabbed my ankle and yanked. I went down hard against the cabinets.
He dragged me back toward him while I scrambled for anything I could use against him.
There was nothing. I turned and launched myself at him instead.
I punched him several times in the face, but I couldn’t get enough leverage to knock him out.
As I went for the door again, he collided with me so hard my chin slammed against the wood. I saw stars. Dazed, I only vaguely registered my wrists being zip-tied together. I was dragged back into the shower and restrained to a metal handhold. I heard a zipper as Riggs fumbled with his pants.
“No!” I struggled.
The past was so close. I didn’t like being tied. I didn’t like being helpless.
“Riggs, let me go!” I cried. “Let me go!”
He growled against my neck, and his hand moved to my jaw as he pressed against my back.
“You want this, Syn,” Riggs panted, his voice like gravel. “I’ve been patient long enough.”
He pressed his cock against my entrance. “No, Riggs—”
Pressure assaulted me as he shoved inside. Visions of the forest flashed, and I struggled and clawed at the tile. I wasn’t nearly wet enough, and he pulled back and tried again. His fingers dug into my hip and I cried out as his second thrust buried himself to the hilt.
“Fuck, Syn, relax,” Riggs panted in my ear. “If you behave, I’ll make it feel good.”
The words echoed the hunters. I closed my eyes and sagged against the shower wall.
My mind started to hover outside my body.
Apparently, Riggs didn’t want me to check out though because his palm connected with my face in a few rough taps.
His fingers pinched my cheeks and dragged my chin over my shoulder towards him.
“No, no—feel me inside you?” He growled. “I’m so hard for you, Syn.”
“I hate you.” My voice shook as his thrust drove me into the tile.
He only chuckled and his hand went down between my legs. He pinched my clit hard and I cried out in pain. He didn’t let up until my legs shook.
“Careful with those words,” he said breathlessly. “I might do something I regret.”
Riggs continued his hard thrusts and planted open mouthed kisses on my neck. His other hand found my nipple and twisted it roughly between his fingers. The pain cut through the numbness as I fought to breathe through the flashes of the past.
“I’m gonna come,” Riggs groaned.
His thrusts stuttered, and he draped over my back and came with a curse and a few last shoves inside me.
Cracks raced through the armor I’d erected and tears streaked down my face.
I shook with sobs I could barely contain—something threatened to shatter.
I wasn’t sure if it was the numbness or my sanity.
Riggs stepped back with a groan and one arm snaked around my waist. He licked a rogue tear.
“Don’t cry, Syn,” he said, condescendingly. “You can’t possibly tell me you didn’t enjoy that.”
He grabbed the knife and carelessly cut the zip-ties. I slid down to the floor of the shower and rubbed my wrists as I glared up at him. Riggs wrapped his hand around my neck and bent down close, a vicious look on his face.
“What do you say?” He demanded.
“Fuck yo—” He slapped me.
My cheek burned, and I focused on the tile near my knee to avoid looking at him.
“You say, ‘thank you’,” Riggs growled.
I pressed my lips together and Riggs smiled cruelly. “Say it, or next time I won’t be as gentle.”
I didn’t think he’d been gentle this time, but I glanced up at him through the tears on my lashes.
“Thank you,” I ground out quietly through my tightly clenched jaw.
Riggs rose to his full height and pulled his pants back up.
“That’s better.” He moved toward the door. “From now on you’ll make yourself available after every job. And I expect you to be more grateful than you were today. I’m doing all of this for you, Syn. You can at least do this for me.”
I was glad when he left and shut the door behind him because the rage I felt at his words would have surely earned me another slap.
The tears fell harder as the reality of my situation caught up.
I hated Riggs for making me do that. I hated him for not caring about my past, for not listening to me when I started to panic, and said no.
I turned on the water, intent on washing him off my body.
Whatever attraction I may have had toward him—no matter how toxic—was now gone.
I scrubbed until my skin was raw, but I knew this was only the beginning.
He wouldn’t stop. And the worst part was I still needed him.
I still needed the team. I needed more time, and that meant I was going to have to endure him.
As I climbed into bed that night, I brushed away the last of my tears and vowed that those would be the last ones I cried for him.
I would play the game I needed to play. I would appease Riggs until I got what I wanted.
It was all a means to an end and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to put a stop to the people who took everything from me.