19. Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen
Elise
The first thing I register as I come to is the warmth. My body sinks into the warm cushions surrounding me as I slowly come back to consciousness, which doesn’t coincide with what I last remember. I was on that thin and scratchy cot in a room that had to be below freezing, as my husband revealed to me further devastation of the sham that is my life.
I slowly open my eyes, taking in the familiar surroundings with unease. I’m back in our bedroom. It hasn’t changed since my decision to run away. Even the armoire with my dresses remains half open, just as I left it that day.
I pull in a shuddering breath as my body relaxes into the warmth of our bedroom, as opposed to the frigid chill of that torture chamber. I have no idea how long I remained in that room after Luca left me in the dark to ruminate over his revelations. That room is something I never want to experience again. Even now, as I shift in bed, my body feels exhausted, moving placing a strain on my muscles.
I slowly sit up, quickly lowering my head into my hands as a headache washes over me. I am sure my exhaustion stems not only from the room I was in, but also from the information about my half-brother and the truth behind my mother’s death. I want more than anything not to believe Luca, but the longer I think of my father’s presence throughout my life, the more it makes sense. Even in his last moments, he had no words for me, only a cryptic warning for my husband that turned out to be the cause of all of this.
And now, because of my half-brother’s existence, nowhere is safe for me. Even if I ran again, my family would only hunt me down to use as leverage against my husband. They would do anything to see the dream my father gave his life for realized. And Ari came so close in that diner.
I choke on a sob as my world comes crashing around me.
I am alone. And helpless. I have nothing, no one, and nowhere to turn. I am at the mercy of the man who wants my family dead, and my family would rather see me join him in death than take me back.
My father’s words ring in my head so much more clearly now.
“She was a failed attempt at something bigger than her life. She means nothing to the Trovolis now.”
I tense as the door opens, and Luca strolls in dressed in leisure clothes. Out of instinct, my heart beats faster as I take him in. And when his steel-colored gaze drifts in my direction, I choke on my breath.
Instead of anger, a look of pity crosses his features as he crosses the room and sits next to me. He doesn’t say anything as he reaches for my face, but I quickly flinch away out of instinct, and he lets me, lowering his hand.
His eyes shift to his palm, and I can see he’s warring with himself.
“Elise…” Luca trails off, once again plunging us into uncomfortable silence. I’m sure we look pathetic from an outsider’s point of view. We were forced into this situation with no advice on how to deal with it ourselves. Both of us were brutally taken advantage of, our lives as we knew them blown up. Both of us were pawns, used by a man so wicked he would use his own flesh and blood to gain power. And yet, neither of us knows how to comfort the other. Neither of us knows how to live with this knowledge.
“You should be dead right now. You do understand that, right?” he asks, breaking the silence.
I squeeze my eyes shut as my tears come faster. My sobs are violent, forcing the sound to permeate the room, and I hate it. I hate how weak I am. How, in every aspect of my life, I’ve lived for others. Luca doesn’t understand just how deep his question scrapes at me, just how many meanings there are in that one sentence.
I should have been dead long before I tried to kill him. I should have died with my mother. I should have died with my father. I should have died from my father’s attempts to kill me for the future of the Trovolis. I should have died when I stepped in front of Luca’s gun all those times, and when I threatened him. And I especially should have died in that diner when Ari should have taken me away to meet my fate. And just realizing that makes my tears relentless in their onslaught.
I hear Luca breathe deeply before I feel his arms around me.
But I don’t want his comfort. I tense, shoving him away from me in a panic. I don’t want the arms of the man who murdered my family around me. We both glare at each other, warring with ourselves to accept the life that fate has dealt us. But we don’t know how.
I release a bitter chuckle, sagging against the headboard.
“You should be too,” I say.
After a moment, I look up at him, feeling less vulnerable as he watches me. He can see what little will I have crumbling. I release a bitter chuckle, looking away from his expression.
“Don’t look at me that way. You’ve known everything about me, probably from the day your father told you about our engagement. Don’t look at me with pity when you thought I was part of this mess in the beginning,” I say, wrapping my arms around myself. “Don’t look at me as if you actually feel something for me,” I whisper.
I lower my eyes as the room blurs, more tears rolling down my cheeks.
“No one does,” I say.
It’s heartbreaking to realize how truly alone you are in the world. Your life never meant anything to anyone. You were no more than a game piece.
I tense as Luca roughly pulls me into him.
“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that again,” he says sharply. “I told you before that you are mine, Elise. And I will end anyone who gets in the way of that.” I tense as Luca’s hand slips under my oversized shirt, his hand gently drifts over the healed scars that spell out his name.
“You are with me now, Elise. You are not alone. It’s me and you now,” he says.
I know in his mind that sounds like enough. But I see it for what it is. It’s a declaration of just how twisted his obsession has grown. He’s right. I should have died for what I did. And even the great Luca Pasquino couldn’t hand down that sentence to me. He would rather turn a blind eye to my betrayal and ignore my blood than follow through on what needs to be done for the sake of his family.
Luca pulls away from me, the expression on his face growing more unnerving by the second as he studies me.
“No one in the Pasquino family knows what transpired between us, and I want to keep it that way,” he says, further deepening my concern.
It also sheds light on how it took him so long to find me. He didn’t use any resources at his disposal because he wanted to keep this quiet. I’m assuming my brother’s existence is something he’s keeping under wraps for now as well. That is, if he hasn’t killed him already.
“So you’ve suddenly forgiven me for what I did? For what my father did?” I ask.
Luca scoffs, shaking his head.
“Of course not. I only said it’s you and me now. I never said you’ve earned back my trust. And just because I can’t kill you doesn’t mean I will let it slide, Elise. Today marks a new beginning for both of us. There are things that have been in motion since before our marriage, and I need you to be with me if I’m going to face these problems,” he says.
I tense when I feel his fingers under my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his.
“You are a Pasquino now. Your family is dead to you. And if you want to fix what’s broken between us, I suggest you come to terms with that,” Luca says.
After a moment, he turns away from me, but my hand reaches out, gripping his shirt before he can get up.
“My brother…is he…did you…” I trail off, unable to say the words aloud.
I should hate my brother. I should want nothing to do with him, seeing as he’s the reason all this began. But the longer I think about it, the more I realize just how innocent he is as well. He was a pawn just as much as I was, and Luca not only revealed that his mother sold him off for a price, but Luca has said on more than one occasion that he would kill anyone who was a threat to my life.
Luca scoffs, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What did I just say, Elise?” he asks, the expression on his face growing irritated as he studies me. I slowly release his shirt, lowering my hand as a chill ripples over me.
“My family is dead to me,” I whisper.
Luca doesn’t respond as he stands from the bed, once again leaving me alone with my thoughts. Luca and I are broken. Whatever trust we had has been decimated by my actions. And although Luca has said I am a Pasquino now, I know that every time he looks at me, he wars with himself over my life. I release a shaky breath as a dark cloud slowly descends upon me, the more my situation reveals itself.
I am alone.