20. Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Elise
This should be nothing new; this loneliness. I’ve been alone all my life. And as Luca so eloquently put it at his father’s funeral, my father never loved me. He never acknowledged me until my sixteenth birthday, and even still, it was because his plan was moving forward. My marriage gave him an “in” with the Pasquinos—an opportunity to exploit their weaknesses. If not for Luca’s hypervigilance, they would be no more, and I would have joined in that because my father saw no use for me.
None.
Same as my husband. Now that we are together with no sense of duty forcing us to remain that way, we have both come to an impasse. I rarely see Luca these days. I’m sure he’s busy trying to clean up the mess my father left behind while maintaining the illusion of control and calm over his family. If anyone from the Pasquino family found out about the accident I caused, almost killing Luca, it would cause a massive rift in the family, possibly even a power struggle. Once again, making me responsible for Luca’s problems.
Then there’s the issue of the ever ambitious Trovolis. I shudder to think what would have happened if I followed Ari out of that diner. Her intentions were not innocent, especially since Luca revealed he got his hands on my half-brother. I’m sure they would have used me as ransom, or if Luca had harmed him, they would have returned the favor. Either way, it makes me nauseous to think of Ari’s fake smile and story as she led me to a less-than-savory future.
It’s as Luca said; there were things in place long before my marriage to him. I doubt anyone would give up just because of this little setback. They’ve already crossed the line by killing Luca’s father. Now, it is only a matter of time before someone strikes first. Only one side can come out of this victorious. And both sides have virtually nothing to lose.
My eyes fly open as the door to the bedroom opens. I shift, lowering myself into the tub as I watch the bathroom doorway that leads into our bedroom, waiting for Luca to pass by. His footsteps are silent, but it only takes five seconds before he’s standing in the doorway, reflecting my gaze.
Luca gives me a gentle smile as he steps into the bathroom, but I see it for what it is. It’s his way of disarming me.
“You got out of bed,” he says, sitting on the edge of the tub. I quickly note he’s wearing a dark, expensive suit, meaning he’s been conducting business.
“Yes,” I say softly.
Awkward silence passes between us, both of us once again at a loss.
“We can walk around the property when you finish if you like,” he says.
Against my better judgment, I laugh. It’s just a tiny scoff of humorous confusion as my husband takes on a persona I’ve never seen before. Nor did I think it was possible.
“No,” I say after a long stretch of silence.
“Elise… I’m really trying here,” he says.
“Thank you for trying now that my entire life has been revealed as a lie, Luca,” I say.
Luca narrows his gaze, and I know that I am pushing him, but I can’t bring myself to care. I don’t care about anything right now. It all feels pointless at this moment in time. Nothing matters.
“Sulking isn’t going to change any of that. Your life has always been a lie. You just refused to see it. You chose to cling to the ridiculous naivete you were born with,” he says.
“Yes, that’s because if my father had his way, I would have died with that naivete intact,” I snap.
“If your father had his way? Are you really justifying his decisions?” he asks in disbelief.
I look away, my fingers clutching the edge of the tub as I try to ground myself.
“Of course not,” I murmur.
“But at least he shielded me from the truth. At least he was going to let me die without disturbing my view of the world instead of thrusting it in my face and telling me to get over it,” I growl out.
Luca stands, laughing.
“Wow. You’re more fucked in the head than me,” he says, shaking his head.
“And whose fault is that?” I snap back.
Silence passes between us as Luca loses the last shred of control. He places his hands on the edge of the tub, leaning so close to me that I can make out the patterned ring inside his stormy-colored eyes.
“Eli Trovoli.” Luca’s hand lashes out as he grips my jaw, holding me firm as he speaks.
“You were everything that held him back in life, and he despised that. He didn’t shield you from the truth of the world, he fucking hid you—kept you at an arm’s length because you were his biggest failure. And as soon as you showed potential of being something other than a burden, he pawned you off. He has used you in every aspect of your life…” Luca’s eyes shift to the scar on my temple, and he lightly grazes it with his thumb. “In ways you can’t even remember.”
The silence is crushing as I struggle to simultaneously pull air into my lungs and hold Luca’s gaze, but he is as intimidating as he has always been, making it very difficult.
I suck in a trembling breath, slapping Luca’s hand away, and he lets me.
“Once you finish, get dressed. We’re going for a walk, whether you want to or not,” he says.
I would never admit this to Luca, but going for a walk is just what I needed. The air is crisp, and the breeze is nice as it filters through the trees towering over our secluded home. I’ve explored the property before, but it was in the first few weeks we arrived when I was still wary of my husband and the future that awaited me.
If not for the obvious motive of isolation, I would compliment Luca on his decision to buy this home. While it was a decision made without me, it could have been seen as a kind gesture. Unfortunately, I know the kind of man he is now, and his gestures always come with a price.
I can’t help but wonder if this walk comes with a price as well. If what Luca said about Ari and my brother is true, then that means my life has taken a turn for the worse. And I am at Luca’s mercy. Whatever that consists of.
“Did you notice the new flower beds? I remember you saying how much you loved Marigolds. So I had them planted around the trees now that the seasons are changing,” Luca says, breaking the awkward silence between us. I shift my attention to the flower beds surrounding the trees. I didn’t notice them before because I was unconscious when he brought me home. But now that I am seeing them, I feel a sense of confusion. Luca had to have done this while I was still gone, before he had ever found me. The flowers are in full bloom as they billow in the breeze.
“Why?” I ask.
Luca laughs, pulling my attention, but he’s looking straight ahead, his eyes roaming over the property with interest.
“I never had an interest in the little things. I always paid someone to make my world look nice. But then you came along with all your personal touches, gradually adding interest. I enjoy seeing pieces of you in my world. It reminds me of what is important,” he says.
“Even after what I did?” I ask.
Luca shrugs, but I know it’s a bigger deal than he’s letting on.
“I was pissed, of course. But you and I are all each other has now. It’d be stupid to throw that away because of your family’s decisions,” he says.
“It would also make your life easier,” I say absentmindedly.
Luca stops walking, and I follow suit, holding his gaze. He’s silent as he studies me, his eyes seeing me in a light I can’t understand, as he gestures to the world around him.
“It would also make it less interesting,” he says.
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond as he continues walking ahead of me. I put on a light jog to catch up with him as we are once again encapsulated in silence. I don’t understand Luca, not that I ever did. But at this moment, everything about me is a threat to him and his way of life. And yet, he still wants me around—to protect me as part of his family, forcing me to forsake mine.
“What were you thinking when you ran off like that…really?” he asks, breaking the silence.
I tense, but force myself to remain calm nonetheless. Luca has personally shown me what he does to those he deems as weak and that includes me. Shrinking away from his question won’t help me in this situation.
“That I would be safe. That I wasn’t going to wait around for you to exact your revenge on me because of my family,” I say truthfully.
Luca watches me in confusion before laughing like it’s the craziest thing he’s ever heard. But it only makes me angry, as if I don’t have a reason to feel the way that I do.
“Did you forget what you said to me all those times you were testing me? Or what you said to me the day of your father’s funeral? I’ve seen what being on the receiving end of your anger can entail. And your recent anger was caused by my family. You can’t possibly think my train of thought was wrong,” I snap, garnering Luca’s undivided attention.
My heart sputters in my chest as he glares at me, his gaze slightly narrowed from my tone. After a moment, he smiles, and it’s unnerving as he approaches me, gently pulling my face between his hands.
“There she is… all this time, I thought you were weak. I thought you were just an obedient wife who got sick at the sight of blood. But you aren’t, are you? You are much more than that. Much more of a threat than that… you just hide it remarkably well,” he smiles.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from responding. He’s expecting a response—a clever quip that proves him right. That I can be challenging. But I don’t want him to know or see that. Luca is sadistic, whether he confuses that with love or not. And if I show that I am a threat, he will treat me as such. Just as he did by locking me in the annex when he found me.
“Boss.” We both turn as a familiar voice cuts through the silence. Romelo approaches with an emotionless expression, his eyes not bothering to fall in my direction as he addresses Luca.
“The deal is done,” he says.
Luca steps away from me, releasing me from his grip as his excitement becomes clear in his body language.
“Where is he now?” he asks.
Now, Romelo glances at me briefly before going back to Luca.
“Just arrived at the building,” he says.
Luca is silent as he thinks for a moment.
“Get the car ready. I’ll meet you out front once I take Elise back to the house,” he says.
Romelo nods, making his way back in the direction of the house to leave Luca and me alone.