Chapter 49
CHAPTER 49
Brody
It’s been two months since Rainey walked away. Two months that I’ve been an insufferable asshole because I can’t stop being angry. I’m angry with Rainey because she wouldn’t take the risk of being with me—hell, because she ever thought I was a risk in the first place, after everything I did to show her how much I worshipped the fucking ground she walked on. I’m angry with myself for not seeing the signs before we ever started fucking around. Maybe if I didn’t know what it was like to be buried deep inside of her, or how it feels to have her delicious curves wrapped around me at night as we slept, I wouldn’t have realized the true depth of my feelings for her. I could’ve gone on forever, wanting her from a distance and antagonizing her every chance I got, just to light that fire in her eyes.
Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?
I would’ve made a move if she hadn’t already beat me to it. Probably not too long after we made the fucking deal that will seemingly haunt me forever. And I know, without a doubt, she would’ve reciprocated. There’s so much goddamn passion between us that it’s impossible to ignore. The worst part of all of this is the wondering and the what-ifs. Is she as miserable as I am? Or has she already moved on, pretending I didn’t mean anything to her? What if I hadn’t put so much pressure on her? What if I would’ve played along with her no feelings involved charade until she decided she couldn’t fake it anymore? Almost immediately after she left my apartment, I called the guys and enacted the “No discussing Rainey” rule, unless it’s to give me a heads up she’ll be with them, so I don’t accidentally show up.
I’m not gonna lie. It’s been hard…and a bit awkward inconveniencing my friends like this, but they’ve been pretty great about the whole thing. I haven’t run into her once since that day. I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good thing.
“Unca’ Drew! Can Brody come with us to the park?”
Drew is spending Sunday afternoon with his nephew to give his sister and Riley some time alone. As pathetic as it is, seeing the two of them interact has been the highlight of my week. This kid’s amusing as hell and watching Drew trying not to cuss around Nate will never get old. They now have two swear jars—the original that still sits on top of Drew’s fridge, and a new one at Riley and Devyn’s place. Whenever Drew or the kid swear, Drew has to put a dollar in the jar. It’s probably the most basic, yet most effective, college savings plan in the world.
“Uh…no, buddy. Brody probably wants to head home before then.”
“No, I don’t,” I say. “I’m down for a trip to the park.”
It’s gotta be better than being left alone to wallow .
Drew gives me a sympathetic look and nervously rubs the back of his neck. “Uh…actually, man, you probably don’t want to do that. We’re meeting someone there. She’s taking Nate to dinner then bringing him home afterward.”
“Oh…okay. Maybe some other time.”
Nate tugs on my hand to get my attention. “Aunt Wainey is taking me to Old McDonald’s for Happy Meals! Do you like Happy Meals?”
“Sure, dude. Happy Meals are the best.”
“She gives me the toy from her Happy Meal so I get two Old McDonald’s toys!” he says. “I love my Aunt Wainey.”
Yeah, me too, little man. Me too.
Drew clears his throat. “We should actually get going. I told her we’d be there by four.”
“That’s cool. I think I’m gonna hit the gym.”
I get off the recliner and rub a hand over Nathan’s head to mess up his hair. “I’ll see you later, dude. Be good.”
He wraps his little body around my leg. “Bye, duth-bag!”
“ Damn it ,” Drew mutters as he digs out his wallet. “Nathan, don’t say douchebag. Are you trying to bankrupt me?”
Nate hangs his head. “Sorry, Unca’ Drew.”
“I’ll see ya later, guys.”
“Hey, I’m on duty at the station for the next few days, but why don’t we meet up for a beer on Friday?” Drew suggests.
“Sure,” I say. “Just text me when and where.”
As expected, the gym does nothing to improve my sour mood. It never does, though it doesn’t stop me from trying. I’ve been working out about twice as often as I used to—mainly because I love to eat, and I’m not burning calories the fun way—and the only progress I’ve made is physically. I think I’ve gained about fifteen pounds of muscle over the past couple of months. I’ve always been a pretty fit dude, but I’m definitely packing more bulk now.
The week passes in a fog. It’s the same uneventful shit every day. Get up. Go to work. Go to sleep. Do it all over again the next day. I find myself thinking about Rainey more and more. I loved seeing her when I got off of work each day. It gave me something to look forward to. Even if she had an overnight shift, we still texted throughout the day, and sometimes she’d swing by my place in the wee hours of the morning for a quickie before I had to go to work.
God, I miss her so fucking much. Isn’t this supposed to hurt less as time goes on?
Friday finally rolls around, and as promised, Drew and I make plans. Since I’ve been avoiding the waitresses at Kelly’s, we’ve been trying out new places whenever we meet up. Tonight, we’re at this trendy new club that’s more on the upscale side. We usually prefer dive bars, because the drinks are stronger and it’s less crowded, but Drew says he knows the bartender here, and she’ll give us the hookup. What that really translates to is Drew wants to hook up with the bartender . I have no desire to play the wingman tonight, but I’m trying to be a good sport since he’s been putting up with my cantankerous ass.
We take a seat at the expansive bar, and Drew doesn’t waste any time getting his flirt on. Thankfully, I’ve been able to nurse my drinks in relative solitude. After the third woman attempted and failed to get a free drink out of me, I think word of my standoffishness spread quickly.
“Dude, you’ve got to get back out there sometime.” Drew gestures to the crowded dance floor. “There’s no better time than the present. Look at the sea of hot women wearing minimal clothing. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel. ”
I turn back around to finish my third beer of the night. “Nah, I’ll pass.”
“Brody, yo?—”
“How is she, Drew?”
He feigns confusion. “How is who?”
“You know who.” I roll my eyes. “Look, I know I said I was better off not knowing, but I can’t take it anymore. Is she happy? Is she seeing someone?”
Drew smirks. “Why don’t you ask her for yourself?”
What? I whip my head around when he nods to someone over my shoulder. At first, I think I’m hallucinating—because, fuck, she’s even more beautiful than I remember—but sure enough, Rainey is standing no more than twenty feet away next to Drew’s sister. My eyes soak it all in as she and Devyn engage in an obviously heated discussion. Her long red locks are down, curled in soft waves, and she’s wearing a black mini dress with red stilettos that make me equal parts pissed and appreciative. She clearly didn’t know Drew and Devyn were scheming until a few seconds ago, which means she was on the prowl.
I know I’m staring, but I really don’t fucking care because I can’t get enough. If this is the only chance I’m going to have to appreciate those curves I love so much, I’m going to be one gluttonous motherfucker until she makes me stop.
With one last gesticulation, Rainey leaves Devyn’s side. Her eyes don’t stray frommine for even a second as she closes the gap between us.
“Hi.” She’s practically yelling so I can hear her over the thumping bass.
“Hi.” My eyes shamelessly travel the length her body and back up again. “You look amazing, honey.”
She stiffens with the term of endearment, but she can deal, because I’m not taking it back.
“You look good, too, Brody.” I don’t miss the way her eyes graze over my torso. Thor does a little jig in my pants because her attraction to me obviously hasn’t waned.
I wink when Drew’s sister joins us. “Hi, Devyn.”
“Hi, Brody. What a crazy coincidence, huh?” She smirks before turning to Rainey. “Lorraine, I need to borrow my brother for a second. We’ll be back in a bit.”
“Uh huh,” Rainey mutters as Devyn and Drew make themselves scarce.
“So…it appears we’ve been set up.”
Rainey narrows her eyes. “Are you telling me you had nothing to do with this?”
I shake my head. “Not even a little—I’m just as surprised as you are. But I’m very fucking thankful.”
Her expression softens. “How’ve you been?”
“Shitty,” I answer honestly.
She looks down toward her fuck-me-heels and says, “Yeah, I know the feeling.”
Oh, what the hell, I’m going for it. It’s not like things could get any worse.
“Do you want to go somewhere quieter?” She doesn’t reply, so I add, “To catch up? According to Drew, there’s a wine bar downstairs.”
Her gorgeous eyes snap to mine. “Yeah…sure.”
I try not to get too hopeful as I lead her down to the lower level. I’m relieved to find that the wine bar is much quieter—they must have noise reduction materials between each floor. Soft jazz flows through the small space, giving it a much more intimate vibe down here. It’s fairly crowded, but there are a few standing pub tables toward the back that would afford us some privacy.
As we make our way across the room, I nod toward the bar on the left wall. “Can I get you a glass of something?”
“Sure. A Moscato would be great. I’ll…uh…grab us a table.”
I watch her fidget as the bartender fills our order. I hate that this is so awkward, but the fact she didn’t bolt the moment she saw me is a good sign. So is the pink stain on her cheeks as I approach the table.
Rainey takes a long gulp of wine as soon as I place it in front of her. “So…”
“So…” I repeat. “That’s some dress you have on there. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in anything like it before.”
Her blush deepens. “It’s new. Devyn strongly suggested I buy it when we were at the mall last weekend.”
“Remind me to thank her later.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that…after I throat punch her. I suspect she wasn’t quite being honest with me about why she wanted me to get the dress.”
“Oh, yeah? What did she tell you?”
“Well, she claimed this would be my…uh, getting back on the horse dress.” She bites down on the pad of her thumb—it’s her go-to move whenever she’s uncomfortable with something.
“‘Getting back on the horse’…what does that mean?”
I totally know what it means, but I want to hear her say it.
She looks away. “You know…move on. Meet someone new. This is the first time I’ve been out since…well, you know. She said moping wasn’t accomplishing anything, and if I didn’t at least try to be happy again, it was never going to happen.”
I love Devyn like a sister, but I sort of hate her right now, too. Unless she and Drew had planned this setup before their shopping trip. If that’s the case, I might love Devyn more than my actual sister. The only way Rainey could possibly be hotter right now is if she took the dress off. It still doesn’t change the fact she agreed to wear it to a meat market like this though.
“Not to be a dick, but this isn’t the kind of place where you go looking for a relationship,” I say, a little more caustically than I intended to. “Coming here says you’re looking for a quick fuck.”
Christ, the thought of any man getting his hands on her body makes me want to Hulk out.
HUUULK SMAAASH!
I’m shaken out of my Marvel reverie when Rainey clears her throat and glares at me.
“Is that why you’re here, Brody?” she counters. “Looking for a ‘quick fuck?’”
“I’m here with Drew. He claimed he needed a wingman to hook up with one of the bartenders. Clearly, that was just a ruse. Or maybe a happy coincidence.”
She sighs. “Well, if it still matters, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. The only reason I’m here is because Devyn wouldn’t give up. I was planning on having a drink or two, then faking a headache so I could go home and binge on Netflix.”
Hell, yeah, it still matters. I keep that thought to myself for now though.
“This whole setup thing may be my fault,” I admit. “I haven’t been the easiest person to be around lately. They’re probably sick of dealing with me.”
Her red lips turn up in the corners. “I’ve been a bit difficult lately, too. And when I say difficult, I mean bitchy.”
I laugh. Rainey’s never one to mince words.
She smiles. “I missed this.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Missed what? ”
“Talking to you. Looking at you. Laughing with you. Hell, I’ve missed everything about you, Brody.”
I don’t say anything…I just gaze into those chestnut eyes of hers. Funny thing is, neither one of us seems bothered by the silence. It’s comfortable. That’s a good thing, right?
After a minute or so, I finally speak. “I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart.”
She swallows hard. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I nod.
“Are you seeing anyone?” Rainey chews on her bottom lip, waiting for my response.
“Not unless you count my right hand. That’s been seeing a lot of action. So much so, sometimes Lefty needs to pinch-hit.”
Her laughter is musical. “Oh my god, Brody, only you would bring up masturbation at a time like this.”
I shrug, not ashamed in the least. “I’m just being truthful.”
Her expression sobers. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. Like, it’s all I seem to think about.”
I wince. “About that…I’ve been wanting to apologize for some of the things I said that morning. I was really angry…and frustrated, so I said some pretty dickish things I didn’t mean.”
“It was completely warranted, Brody. And it forced me to face the ugly truth head on. I should be the one apologizing.”
“What truth?”
She gulps. “That I was being a coward. You see, I’m in love with this big, goofy man-child, and I didn’t have the balls to tell him, so he walked away from me—rightfully so. He thought I didn’t love him or trust him enough, and that’s so far from the truth, it’s scary. I let my bitterness from my past affect the present. I unfairly made assumptions about this guy, when in fact, he was nothing like those assholes who treated me poorly.
“I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, I realized he made me happier than I’ve ever been in my life. That became even more apparent when suddenly, he was no longer in my world. I’ve been a fucking wreck without him, Brody. I thought ending things before my heart became too invested would save me from this pain. What I didn’t know was that my heart was already too invested.”
I exhale in relief. Fuck, that feels good to hear.
“It’s funny you say that because there’s a certain ginger I haven’t been able to get out of my head. Both heads actually. She’s kind of ruined me for any other woman. I think about her no less than fifty-five thousand times a day. Her tits twice that.”
She laughs with tears in her eyes. “I love you, Brody Harris. I’m so fucking in love with you, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t admit that two months ago.”
I can’t torture myself—or her—anymore, so I round the table and cage her in against it. “Say it again.”
“I love you. I can’t promise it’ll be smooth sailing all the time. There’s a lot of shit I need to work through in my head. One thing I’m certain of though, is how I feel about you. I want to be with you, Brody, for the long haul. I want everything you mentioned in that voicemail and then some. If you can manage to forgive me, I want to start right now.” She gives me a shy smile. “So…what do you think?”
“Well, for starters, I think you should kiss me,” I say with a smirk. “Then, I think we should go somewhere a little more private so you can show me what you have under this fuckhot dress.”
She has the cutest little giggle. “You’re an idiot.”
“True. But you love it.”
“I do.” She wraps her arms around my neck and plays with the short hairs at the base of my skull. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
“Anyone ever tell you you’re hot when you’re bossy? It’s?—”
Rainey doesn’t let me finish my sentence, which is perfectly fine by me, because my mouth is otherwise occupied.
“It’s about time you two got your heads out of your asses!” a deep, familiar voice shouts.
We break apart from the kiss to find Drew and Devyn approaching our table. Jesus, those two are really good at being sneaky.
I flip him off. “Just wait until it happens to you, asshole.”
Drew laughs. “Never gonna happen, dude. But I’m glad to see we no longer have to deal with Grouch Ass One and Grouch Ass Two. That’s what we’ve been calling you, you know.”
“Lovely,” Rainey says as she rolls her eyes.
Devyn chuckles. “When I told Drew how much Rainey was fighting the idea of going out tonight, we put together this little plan to make you two talk. Since you were both being such stubborn asses, we had to do it on the sly.”
“Well, thank you,” I tell them honestly. “Really. I owe you guys big time.”
“I second that,” Rainey says. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have some make-up sex to get to.” She looks up at me and smiles. “You wanna get out of here, Brody?”
I pull her into me so she can feel how anxious Thor is to get out of here and get into her.
“Honey, I thought you’d never ask.”