Chapter 10 #2
He had no idea what to say to her. He had vented his despair and thought it was decent of him to call it quits. He had given her a way out and she had not taken it. The sick feeling inside him had turned to hope that was spreading warmth throughout his system.
She was staying. She knew the worst of him and was still staying. He had no idea what to do with that.
He was naked, naked before her and vulnerable, his feelings raw.
When she placed a hand on his chest, his heart did a slow dive and picked up speed. His eyes told her what his lips couldn't. He felt like the inexperienced one. His emotions were making him awkward, and he had no idea what to do next.
She showed him. Bending, she brushed her lips back and forth over his, inhaling his quickening breath and the taste of him, the scent of her husband. His vulnerability humbled her completely. If possible, she was more in love with him than ever before.
He was tentative. She had mentioned in her deserved tirade that he should use his vast experiences on her, but she didn't understand that before her, it had just been sex. A meeting of bodies, a way to selfishly slake his thirst. A form of living up to who he thought he was, his legacy.
With her, it would be different. It had to be.
He lay still as she continued to torment him with butterfly kisses.
When she lifted his hand and placed it over her breast, he could feel the heat of her skin through the thin material.
Her nipple was already hard. Opening his mouth, he accepted the gift of her tongue, the brush of his against hers, light and sweet.
He was already as hard as steel, but he would take it slow, he vowed to himself.
He would follow her lead. He would do anything she wanted. If what she decided to do was to experiment, he would allow it. She deserved his humility and his vulnerability, and he was giving both to her. Tonight was hers and he would endure the torture of not having her just yet to make that happen.
"I want your participation," she whispered against his mouth. "I want to feel your hands on me. Touch me, darling."
Her words did the trick.
With a muffled groan, he gently pushed her back on the pillows, effectively reversing their positions.
He kissed the tip of her nose, trailing kisses over her cheeks and then her lips.
"Not yet," he said thickly when she opened her mouth. He brushed his lips over hers, the same way she had been doing, and felt her quick intake of breath. His hands were busy gliding over her shoulders and arms and then to her neck.
Lifting his head, eyes darkened to almost black, he stared at her exquisite face.
"You're so beautiful." With his eyes on hers, he peeled the flimsy material from her shoulders. She lifted her body so that he could take it off completely.
Leaning on one elbow, he allowed himself the luxury of finally seeing all of her.
All of her beautiful curves and flawless complexion.
She was not prudish, he thought in wonder, but lay there as he examined her.
Her stomach was flat and quivering beneath his avid gaze.
His eyes drifted further and his breath caught.
The springy dark curls drew his attention.
Placing a hand over it, he felt the warmth of her skin on his palm.
Lifting his head, he stared at her long and intently.
"Perfect." His mouth came down on hers, crushing her lips, tongue plunging into her mouth forcefully.
The reaction from her was electrifying.
With a fevered moan, she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck, her body arching towards his. His body was supple and smooth, the muscles heavy in his chest and shoulders. He kissed her with wild abandon, the tenuous hold on his control slowly disintegrating.
Before it did entirely, he tore his lips from hers, kissing her throat and the hollow of her neck. When his mouth touched her breasts, she went wild. With fingers digging into the thick strands of his blonde hair, she held his head pressed to her.
He used his tongue to torment the already sensitized nipple, determined to give her the utmost pleasure. He did not have to worry about failing in that department. She was already oblivious to everything but his mouth on her flesh.
And he was thorough. In his determination to make it damn good for her, he was going above and beyond. By the time he had switched to the other nipple, she was a writhing mass of desire and passion beneath him.
"Please!" she gasped.
His fingers dipped into the tight moistness and had her jolting. Lifting his mouth from her wet nipple, he watched narrow-eyed as she reacted to his fingers stroking her intimately.
"I want to see you come," he rasped. He didn't have long to wait. His own body shuddered when she erupted. The climax took her completely by surprise, heaving her body up as sensations flooded her. She cried out his name, fingers gripping his wrist as he continued to torment and tease her.
Her uncontrollable reaction was his undoing. He knew instinctively that if he did not act now, it would be too late for him.
With his heart beating like a jackhammer, his skin coated with moisture and his control all but collapsing, he covered her body with his. A vein throbbed in his jaw as he gritted his teeth to stop himself from driving into her.
"It's going to hurt," he reminded her thickly, holding himself taut so that he was slightly suspended.
"I know." Her arms came around his neck, eyes still feverish. "I don't care."
"I do. I never want to hurt you." Bending just his head, he started kissing her, deepening the kiss as he slowly and tentatively guided his rigid arousal inside her.
He was desperately hoping that the climax just a minute ago had helped to ease his passage.
But it was still an incredibly tight fit.
He closed his eyes as she wrapped around him like a vice.
"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly, wishing he could take away the pain. "I'm sorry, darling." He drove in deep and swallowed her cry of pain, then waited for her to adjust to his weight and the unfamiliarity of him inside her.
But the pain was gone instantly, replaced by an exquisite pleasure when he started to move.
Lifting his head, he watched her face, his heart picking up speed at the absolute joy there.
Her body arched beneath his in the age-old movements of flesh meeting flesh, of the souls joined together.
He felt as if he was being reborn. This was nothing like what he had experienced in all of his aimless wanderings.
It was spiritual and it humbled him. He wanted to hold onto it as long as he could. He wanted to stay inside her and never come back out. She was sweetness and light and hope. If he had any inkling that this was at all in store for him, he would have kept himself pure, so he could be worthy of her.
He was her first and he was going to be her only. It did not matter to him that the scale was unbalanced. He did not want another man's hands on her. She was his and would be his for the rest of their lives.
He had been given a gift, one that was priceless.
He had questioned it before, but no longer.
They were joined together as husband and wife and tonight signified the culmination of the vows they had made to each other.
He would hold her to them. Just like he would hold himself to everything he had promised her. He was hers.
Her body arched and moved against his, the movements quickening.
Her lips sought and found his. He captured her lips and swallowed her moans as the climax tore through her slender body again.
Tears that had been hovering drifted down her cheeks.
She was not the only one. He could feel them burning the backs of his eyes as emotions swamped and overwhelmed him.
He held her close, fingers drifting up and down her spine, her back.
His own release was close, but he was doing his best to keep it at bay.
The feeling of being inside her was so incredible, he did not want it to end.
He knew they had all night, but this first time was something he wanted to treasure.
"I love you." The words whispered against his mouth had him climaxing involuntarily. His body shuddered on top of hers as he poured years of unhappiness and desperation inside her, releasing the past and embracing the future, one that looked as bright and shiny as the noonday sun.
Even when he had finished, he could not move. One part of his mind whispered that he was crushing her with his weight, but he could not seem to cooperate. Besides, she was wrapped around him just as tightly.
It took him several minutes to stir and he did so reluctantly. Easing away from her, he shifted on his side, arms wrapped around her waist and still intimately joined to her.
She had her face buried against his chest, one shapely thigh covering his.
The contentment was there, covering him, warming him from the inside out.
He was prepared to stay that way for a long time.
Nothing else mattered. He had been ashamed of his past, but that had been laid to rest. The beautiful woman in his arms had done the incredible. She had accepted him, warts and all.
Tipping his chin down, he realized that she was staring at him.
"Hi."
"Hi back." Her dimples peeked out as she smiled. "Shall I thank you for your years of experience, or is it too soon?"
His surprise at her candid words had him shouting with laughter. That was a first for him too.