9. John
9
JOHN
“I hear you’ve been helping Micah clean out his grandfather’s house,” June says as I slide a glass of white wine toward her.
“And Aaron is helping him remodel,” Jack chimes in, opting for one of his favorite red blends.
It’s only the three of us, having an informal sibling gathering at my bar, which is different from what we do monthly in my backyard, when my aunt and uncle show up with a side dish or two while I grill out like we used to do with Mom and Dad. Sometimes, others make an entrance, like Jack’s best friend, Frank, but mostly, it’s just us trying to stay connected since the accident that took three of our family members.
June’s gaze fills with concern. “Everything all right with the two of you?”
I’ve always been an easygoing, glass-half-full guy, but after Micah left town and my parents died, I had a hard time staying upbeat, let alone showing up at my bar every day. Sometimes, I regret telling Micah to return to LA. Regret acting like I was strong while completely crumbling inside. Pretending I didn’t desperately need him—my husband. I told myself I didn’t want him to resent me for missing out on audition opportunities and that we needed to stick with the plan. So, after he left, I threw myself into work and got through the pain.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I avert my gaze, trying not to think about that damned kiss last week. “Good thing we have a solid basis of friendship and can hang out without griping at each other for past mistakes.” Though, keeping our hands to ourselves is a different story. We’ve always had that problem.
She frowns. “You may not gripe in plain view, but that man left town and, outside of the funeral, hasn’t returned in years.”
“I told him to leave, and he struggled with the decision, as did I. But it was the right one for him and us. Had he not left, I would still be wondering if he was fulfilled and happy enough here.”
“And is he in LA?”
I shrug. “You’d have to ask him. After this long, it’s become moot.”
“And what about you, Johnny?”
“Fulfilled and happy?” I ask, and she nods. “Enough.”
“Enough that you won’t initiate divorce and move on?” I see Jack grimace in my side view. “What if the right man is waiting right around the corner?”
I won’t say there will never be anyone for me other than Micah. Instead, I look around me and tease, “Where is he? Or she, for that matter.”
Jack high-fives me, and June scoffs at us.
“Does this mean you’re ready to move on?” I ask June, who hasn’t dated anyone since her husband died.
“No, but those were circumstances I couldn’t help.”
“I couldn’t help them either.” I grit my teeth. “Life is not black and white. Sometimes, it’s the wrong time or circumstances or person. Or maybe it’s the right person, but your lives never line up.”
“Not sure I believe that,” Jack pipes in.
“How can you say that when you and Aaron almost didn’t make it work?”
“Because I see you growing complacent.” He swirls the red wine in his glass. “I took a leap of faith and was willing to move to San Jose.”
“I’m sorry, what?” June asks shrilly. “How come we’re only finding out about this now?”
“I mean, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea, but I had to think outside the box, consider all my options to be with him. Thankfully, he squashed that idea in favor of moving here.”
I try to tame my astonishment. “You were going to walk away from Jack of All Trades?”
“I hadn’t been happy there for a long time. Obviously,” he emphasizes, referring to his decision to hand over the keys to Frank. “Was only hanging on for Mom and Dad.”
“I suppose the difference is I love owning this bar in this town. I stayed with Micah in LA early on, trying to think of a way I could move my life there and have what I do here. Something meaningful that makes me feel fulfilled outside of my love for him.”
“And?” Jack asks.
“No way I could recreate the same in LA.”
June frowns. “True. Your rent alone would be exorbitant.”
“Exactly. Even with Uncle Chuck’s or Aaron’s real estate expertise, I couldn’t swing it. You think I haven’t thought of a hundred different scenarios to be with him without one of us being miserable?”
Jack looks away. “Sorry, dude.”
“It’s fine. In the meantime, Micah’s grandfather passed away, so please be civil and gracious.”
“Of course,” June says. “I love Micah, just want to kick his ass sometimes.”
“Yours too,” Jack adds.
“Mutual,” I lob back just as the door swings open and the sexy devil himself steps inside. With his new best friend, apparently. He and Aaron are chattering away like old friends.
“Hey, babe.” Aaron lands a sloppy kiss on Jack’s mouth.
“Get a room,” I tease as they continue their nauseating PDA.
Jack flips me the bird as my gaze travels to June and Micah’s warm greeting. She’s right. My family has always loved him and treated him as one of our own.
“How’s it going at the house?” I ask to distract myself from that cozy thought.
“There’s a lot to be done, but I’m excited,” Aaron replies, plopping down in a seat next to my brother while Micah finds one on the other side of June.
“And I’m gonna help wherever I can,” Micah adds. “The sooner we get it done, the better.”
“Better for whom?” Jack asks pointedly, and an awkward silence descends.
Just as Micah opens his mouth to respond, a group of rowdy men from Parks and Recreation enter the bar. I immediately recognize Isabel’s new friend, Gordon, and he gives us a toothy wave. He and Aaron’s mom started dating shortly after she moved here with her son. She seems to love it as much as Aaron does.
“What’s the occasion?” Aaron shouts to him.
“Boss’s birthday, the big six-oh.”
I give them the thumbs-up, and before I know it, the bar is busier than usual, either because people are nosy about Micah or because it’s a pleasantly cooler spring day. I’m having trouble keeping up with orders, and I curse that today, of all days, Seth called off. Likely to go camping in the mountains as he’s known to do. But if he wants a shot at a solo shift, he better not make it a habit. Ross, though, the other bartender I finally hired from over in Sunrise Bay, has been pretty reliable.
Just as I feel guilty for thinking ill of Seth, Micah is there behind the bar.
“What the hell are you doing?” I mutter as I pour another draft.
“Helping. I know how bars and restaurants work and what’s required of staff. What the hell do you think I’ve been doing between auditions?”
I feel a pang of frustration as well as sadness. He has a whole other existence I know nothing about. Not that I’m unaware he works in the service industry, only that I haven’t had a good snapshot of his life in a long time.
I want to beg off, but I could sure use the help. “I know you do. Thanks.”