Chapter 48 Reconciliation
Darcy stood in the drawing room, looking out the window as he awaited the Bennet carriage.
The Bingleys were seated together upon a couch near the hearth, engaged in quiet conversation.
Darcy felt a pang of envy as he observed how well-suited they were to one another, and how content they appeared in each other’s company.
His thoughts spun in his head. How am I to reach Elizabeth?
She had reason enough to distrust him, and even to resent him.
The sound of wheels upon the drive reached him, and he went out to hand the ladies from the carriage. Mr. Bennet descended first, and Darcy handed Kitty down. They proceeded into the house, while he remained to assist Georgiana. She threw herself into his arms.
“Fitzwilliam, I have missed you. What a lovely surprise to see you here this evening.”
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Georgie, have you grown? You reach my chin.”
“I have. We let down my hems an entire inch.”
“Where is Miss Bennet?”
Georgiana’s countenance fell. “Lizzy is unwell this evening, with a headache. She took to her bed, but her father promised to bring her a custard. It is her favorite, and perhaps she will feel equal to eating it when we return.”
Cold disappointment took hold of him. He would not see Elizabeth that night.
He escorted Georgiana into the house and took his seat beside her, listening as she related her news.
During dinner, he observed every expected civility and propriety, though his attention strayed, for his thoughts remained fixed upon Elizabeth.
Perhaps he would find her upon Oakham Mount.
He determined to rise early and wait for her, even if it took up the entire day.
It was still dark when Darcy rode his horse the three miles to Oakham Mount the next morning.
When he reached the summit, he dropped the reins and left Ares to graze while he paced the height, considering what he might say to Elizabeth to incline her heart toward him, to obtain her forgiveness, and to begin again.
At daybreak, he spotted her walking up the path from her home.
He remained where he was, wondering whether she would turn back when she saw him.
Elizabeth did not attend to her surroundings, for she kept her eyes on the path, minding her footing in the dim light.
He saw her dog running in and out of the wood that bordered the path, but it raised no alarm.
When she reached the summit, she turned to watch the sunrise.
Darcy did the same. The sky was streaked with purple and maroon, then shifted to orange and at last to a deep gold.
It was a magnificent sight, and he stood absorbed in it.
As the day began to brighten, he turned to Elizabeth, who stood some twelve yards from him.
“Elizabeth.” He called in a low, imploring voice.
She turned, and her eyes narrowed when she saw him. She did not answer, but remained where she was, looking at him.
He walked toward her, watching her countenance for any sign of unease. When he had come within four yards, he stopped.
“Elizabeth, I cannot express how deeply I regret having caused you pain. My ill conduct towards you has troubled me greatly. The distress I caused you has deprived me of rest, and I have lost all appetite. When I consider that you may have turned from me forever, my future appears gray and desolate.”
He waited, but she offered no reply. He continued.
“Georgiana wrote to tell me how pleased she was for you and Allen, and then I understood that my life would be ruined if you married him, or any other man. I love you, Elizabeth. I love you so deeply that it is painful.” He paused, but she still did not respond.
“Darling, I believe that you love me as well. Pray tell me, what must I do that you may trust me again?”
Elizabeth could not speak. Her throat had tightened with restrained emotion.
He stood before her, a model of masculine beauty.
His voice was persuasive. His eyes were darkened with remorse.
Could she trust him? She had believed him to be a good friend.
They had passed many agreeable hours in one another’s company, and in the end, he had betrayed her with his words. Had he no capacity for loyalty?
“Elizabeth. Can you forgive me?”
“You did not defend me. You agreed with Caroline Bingley, a woman whom you know hates the very sight of me. A woman who will not hesitate to injure my name among my neighbors and her London friends. What have you to say to that, sir?”
Darcy held his hat in both hands, his expression contrite. She searched his face and found no trace of arrogance.
“That was a betrayal of our friendship. Whatever I may have thought on the subject, I ought not to have spoken of it to her.”
“No, sir, you ought not, for in doing so, you aligned yourself with her against me. You left me standing alone in that room, the object of every eye. I saw pity upon Mr. Balfour’s face and upon Mr. Allen’s.
Do you know how it feels to be the object of another’s pity?
It is almost worse than to be the object of hatred or arrogance. ”
A sob escaped her. “You tore my heart from me. It was all I could do to leave the room without falling to the floor.”
She brushed a tear from her cheek with an angry motion. “But I would not grant you or Miss Caroline Bingley the satisfaction of witnessing my distress.”
She turned from him. “I am too angry to continue this conversation, Mr. Darcy. You will excuse me.”
She left him. He did not follow, for it was plain she had no wish to speak further with him and perhaps even hated him.
For a brief moment, he was seized by panic.
Perhaps he had destroyed whatever affection she had once felt for him.
He walked to the edge of the mount and watched her descend, each step marked by anger.
His only hope lay in the knowledge that he had labored for the past few months to banish her from his thoughts and affections, and had failed.
If she loved him, she would not be able to turn away from him either.
He went to collect his horse and then returned to Netherfield for breakfast.
At eleven that morning, Darcy stood at the front entrance of Longbourn, waiting for Hill to answer the door. When he was admitted, he was shown into the drawing room, where the three young ladies sat together, conversing as they worked upon garments for the poor.
Georgiana rose with pleasure. “Fitzwilliam, look at the charming nightdress I am sewing for an infant.”
She held it up to him. He took the delicate garment and examined it, then lifted his brows in approval.
“This is fine work, Georgie. I had no notion you possessed such skill.”
“I did not. I am only just learning. I have completed four other garments of this pattern already, and I have improved.”
Darcy placed his arm about her shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I am proud of you, sweetling. Let me present myself to the Miss Bennets, lest they think me entirely devoid of manners.”
He glanced toward Elizabeth and saw from her raised brows and tightened lips that she was inclined to think him so. A faint smile touched his mouth when he met her eyes. She returned her attention to her work, though he observed that her posture had grown rigid. She was still angry.
He seated himself beside his sister.
“Georgiana, I have returned for the next four weeks and wish to know whether you intend to remain here at Longbourn to complete your holiday, or whether you have missed me to such a degree that you prefer to return with me to Netherfield.”
Georgiana’s expression altered so completely that the others laughed, and soon she too joined in their mirth.
Elizabeth spoke. “Georgiana, we have been very happy in your company. Pray do not feel obliged to leave us for any reason other than a desire to be near your brother. You are most welcome to complete your visit with us.”
Elizabeth turned her gaze to Darcy, and her words were polite, though her eyes shone with ire. “You need not suppose that she is any burden to us, sir. Longbourn is inclined to be quiet and lonely without our three sisters and our mother.”
“If that is the case, Miss Bennet, I must not remove my sister before her time, lest you fall into a deep decline.” There was a flicker of amusement in his eyes, and his mouth curved at one corner in a faint smile.
“Georgiana may remain here, provided it continues to meet with your father’s approval. ”
“You need not fear disapproval from my father. He has taken to reading aloud to us in the evenings, for he too feels the want of family.”
“Miss Bennet, will you walk out with me. It is a fine autumn day, and it would be a shame to lose it. Winter will soon confine you indoors.”
“I am very busy,” she began, but as she met his eye, he winked at her. She flushed and drew her brows together. “As I was saying, sir, I have duties which require my attention, and I do not have leisure to wander about.”
He lifted his brows, and Elizabeth saw that he mocked her.
Georgiana looked toward her beloved friend with concern. “Lizzy, do you still dislike my brother for his trespass?”
Kitty’s eyes widened, but she applied herself to her sewing and remained silent.
Elizabeth colored. “Of course not, my dear. It was of little consequence, was it not? Had Miss Bingley not been present, it would have signified nothing.”
Georgiana’s expression eased. “I am glad, Lizzy, for Fitzwilliam is my favorite person in the world, and you are my next favorite, and I should be very unhappy if you did not like one another.”
Darcy rose. “Then, Miss Bennet, since you do not dislike me, let us walk out. As I said, it is a fine autumn day, and the leaves are turning.”
She stood. “Very well, I shall fetch my things.”