Chapter 38
“I am a monster, and that’s what monsters do.”
—KLAUS MIKAELSON, THE ORIGINALS
S hem leaned against one of the posts at the end of the bed and watched me get dressed. I felt a rush of gratitude to Ramel for bringing me something so familiar. I had missed my clothes, and it felt nice to be wearing pants after having been more or less naked for so long.
Once I was dressed, Shem abruptly clipped the leash back onto my collar and gave it a gentle tug as he made his way toward the door.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I snapped. He gave me a bored look as he tugged on the lead again.
“Do I look like I’m kidding? We told you that you would be leashed if you tried to leave. We have these rules in place for a fucking reason, Lilith. Until you can learn to behave, you will need to be supervised. It’s for your own good.”
“You’re a fucking asshole,” I growled as I followed him out the door. He shrugged.
“That may be so, but that doesn’t change anything. The leash stays on until you can convince me you’re not going to leave again.”
We went to the dining hall, and I was at least allowed to have my own seat this time .
Shem told me to sit on Ramel’s throne, and he threw himself on the chair to my right.
Art approached us smiling, and Shem grinned back.
“Hey, Lilith, congratulations on the wedding. Last night was fucking hot.” Art beamed at me, and I gaped back at him. Was this asshole for real?
“Get fucked, Art.” I snapped, and he frowned, shooting a confused look at Shem, who shrugged.
“What’s wrong?” Art asked, and my mouth dropped open.
“What do you mean what’s wrong? ” I growled. “You tricked me into a forced marriage. You made me think you were helping me, then led me to some satanic-ass ritual to get fucked in front of an audience. Sorry if I’m not super thrilled to see you, dickface.”
Shem started laughing. “Well… when you say it like that…”
Art rubbed the back of his neck, frowning. “Yeah, that was yesterday, though. I figured you would be over it by now.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
“She’s still mortal, Art. They take these things a little more personally than we do.” He shot me an amused look. “If we can keep her out of purgatory until her birthday, that might all change, though.”
Art beamed. “Ah, do you think we’ll get the old Lil back?
Shem nodded. “That’s the hope.”
That piqued my interest. “What the fuck are you two talking about?”
They exchanged a look. “We can’t tell you. If Ramel figures it out on his own, he can tell you,” Shem said, and I scowled.
“Whatever. Go get me something to eat,” I snapped at Art, who saluted me jovially.
“Aye, aye, captain.” He smiled before jogging down to the buffet.
Shem grinned at me and leaned back in his seat. I gave him my best ‘ go fuck yourself’ glare, and the smile dropped right off his face. He jerked my leash, forcing me to lean closer to him, and he snarled.
“Why are you so fucking mad at me?” he asked. “Ramel is just as guilty as I am, and you’re treating him like you actually like him.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Aww, is little baby Shem jealous ?” I taunted, and his face went white with fury. He yanked the leash harder, making me wince. I should have stopped there, but I couldn’t. I was on a roll.
“Want to know why I’m so mad at you, Shemhazai ? Because you’re like the king of fucking betrayal. At least with Ramel, I know what I’m getting. He’s a damned monster, and he owns it. With you, it’s like you keep pretending to be my friend, then every time I start to trust you again, you turn around and stab me in the fucking back! You’re a piece of shit, and I hate you! ”
Shem looked like he wanted to slap me across the face. I flinched, waiting for him to hit me, but to my surprise, he didn’t. He just gripped my leash tighter and growled.
“Watch your fucking mouth, Lilith. I have you all week. You might want to start trying to be nicer to me.”
I just laughed. “Make me, asshole.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back. What the fuck was wrong with me? Shem absolutely would make me, and I just challenged him to do it.
An evil smile curled across his mouth as Art came back with our breakfasts, and I shivered.
“Don’t you worry, I plan to.”
He slackened his grip on the leash, allowing me to sit back in the throne as Art placed my plate in front of me. Shem gestured to my food and smiled.
“Eat, Lil. Then we’ll get to work.”
After breakfast, Shem took me back to the room. He unclipped the lead from my collar and tapped the end of it against his palm while he looked me up and down.
“We’re going to be working on obedience for the next couple of days,” he informed me, and I felt my blood boil with rage. I had never wanted to fucking spit on someone so much in my life. I forced myself not to, not wanting to give Shem a reason to do something even more fucked up to me than he was likely already planning.
He gestured to the TV. “I’m going to give you a command. If you obey to my satisfaction, we’ll cuddle and watch Midnight Mass for the rest of the day.”
A confusing mix of excitement and rage rolled through my core. I hated that I needed to obey a fucking command to do something as simple as watch TV, but that sounded like the best fucking day ever, especially after how depraved my life had been lately.
“If you don’t obey, you will be corrected until I’m satisfied. Understood?”
I just glared at him, and he smiled, pretending I had said yes.
“Great. We’re going to start off easy today, and we’ll work up to the more difficult stuff later in the week.”
“If you command me to suck your dick, I swear to fuck…” I muttered under my breath, and his eyes flashed in amusement.
“Don’t give me any ideas, Lil,” he laughed, shaking his head. “No, something even easier than that.” He paused for dramatic effect.
“Tell me that you like me, and make me believe you.”
My jaw dropped.
“I would rather suck your fucking dick!” I snapped, and he tutted his tongue .
“Strike one, Lilith.”
I scowled, and he waved his hand, manifesting a black object. For a second, I thought it was a vibrator, but then I looked closer and realized there were two metal prongs protruding from the top.
“Holy shit… is that a… cattle prodder?”
He clicked the button, and a shock of blue electricity exploded between the two prongs. I took a step back, shaking my head.
“You’re fucked,” I breathed, and he gave me a dazzling smile.
“Sure am, sweetheart. Don’t make me use this. All you have to do is tell me that you like me, and we can watch TV together. I’ll even shift into my cat form and let you pet me.”
I ran a hand down my face and counted backward from ten. This fucking demon was the most infuriating being I had ever met in my life.
“Fine. I like you, Shem. I like you a whole lot ,” I gritted out, and he scowled.
“Strike two,” he hissed, taking a menacing step forward.
Fuck!
“Okay, okay,” I said, holding up a hand. He stopped his approach and raised an eyebrow expectantly.
I could do this. I just needed to be convincing. I looked at him and tried to remember what he had been like when we worked together. I liked him then.
He had asked me out for drinks every day. I realized suddenly that I could have hung out with him, and he wouldn’t have died — I could have had him as a friend. I just hadn’t known it at the time.
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and he saw the expression on my face change. The anger in his eyes softened slightly.
“What were you just thinking about?” he asked, his voice quiet.
“When we were at Voodoo, you asked me to go for drinks after work every time we had a shift together, even though I always said no. Why?” I asked.
Something that looked an awful lot like remorse crossed his face, and I felt my chest tighten.
“Because you were breaking. I knew you were lonely. I saw it every day when you came home from work. And I couldn’t tell Ramel who you were or do anything to interfere with Yahweh’s plans. Ramel had to get there on his own. In the meantime, I thought you could use a friend, so I tried to be one for you.”
Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and I felt my eyes well up with tears.
“Shem…”
“We like to play games, Lilith, but that’s all they are. Just games.” He reached out and gently touched my chin, his green eyes turning sad. “You’re mortal, so you don’t understand, but just because we hurt you doesn’t mean we want to break you.”
I looked at the devastatingly handsome cat demon. He had betrayed me so thoroughly, but he also tried to be there for me when I needed it most. My little human heart cracked as I tried to fit the two versions of him together into something that made sense.
I felt a tear spill-free, and I stepped toward him. He eyed me cautiously as I stood on my toes and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. His stubble grazed my lips, and this close, he smelled like cloves and cardamom beans.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest, squeezing him tight.
“I like you a lot, Shem,” I whispered, and he relaxed, wrapping his arms around me to hug me back.
“I like you too, Lilith,” he murmured, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. He held me while I quietly cried, and I realized that I hadn’t just convinced Shem I liked him. I had convinced myself a little bit, too.