Chapter 39
“You never felt like a sin.”
—FATHER PAUL, MIDNIGHT MASS
I spent the day reading ‘ Mesopotamian Origins.’ The book was massive, and the text was small. I made it through only a quarter before the day was over. Nothing that I read jumped out at me or mentioned anything that I thought might be a clue about my past or why Yahweh might have trapped Lilith in His bowl of purgatory.
‘The Wives of Adam and the Birth of Sin’ was a much smaller book, and I quickly found the clue Hazai wanted me to see. Lilith’s name popped up right at the very beginning.
The book claimed Yahweh had made her before Eve, and she had been meant to be Adam’s wife. My blood boiled at the thought. It was a good thing that prick had been dead for a millennia, or I would have had to fucking kill him. His soul was so old that Yahweh had retired it. Lilith had been ordered to obey Adam, and she refused, demanding that she be treated as an equal. My lip twitched at the thought. That certainly sounded like my Lilith.
Yahweh refused, so she left the Garden of Eden, and as a punishment, He condemned her to rule the underworld. My eyes widened at this.
I furiously flipped through the pages, looking for more, but Lilith was not mentioned again. The rest of the book was about Eve and the creation of sin.
I wasn’t mentioned either, and I was left wondering if she had been sent to be my wife or if I had not even been created yet and she had ruled alone.
I had been right. I had known she was not mortal, but I had not expected this. Resolving to get through more of ‘Mesopotamian Origins’ the following day, I finally resigned.
I made my way back to the room with my head spinning. It felt like one piece of the puzzle had finally been uncovered. It made sense that Yahweh would have wanted her conditioned to take my place here if she was the original ruler of Hell. Why had He taken her from here in the first place? What could she possibly have done? Why was I ruling here in her place?
As I approached the room, I could hear Lilith and Shem speaking through the door, and I smiled. Their conversation was much different than the one I overheard when I had first returned to find them in bed together.
“I fucking love this part when he just sunbeams himself in front of her in the canoe,” Shem said excitedly, and Lilith giggled. She giggled.
“I always thought it was kind of a dick move that he brought her out there with him. Like damn, you didn’t need to traumatize her like that.”
I opened the door just in time to see Shem’s eyes flash with glee.
“That’s why I like it. Fucking epic.”
Lilith was sitting up against the pillows, and Shem was on his stomach, feet kicking lazily in the air behind him. They were both avidly staring at the TV.
“What are you two watching?” I asked, slipping in and closing the door behind me. They glanced at me before returning their attention to the show.
“Midnight Mass,” Lilith said as I approached the bed, undoing the buttons on my shirt as I went.
How was this tiny little human, with her butterscotch and brandy hair, the original ruler of Hell? I felt myself harden as I finally reached the bed. Picturing her perched on a throne and ruling over my depraved court of demons made me want to fuck the living shit out of her.
She glanced up at me, her gaze falling to where my hands were still working away at removing my shirt. The light in her eyes dimmed slightly, and the little smile on her face fell away. My chest tightened. I wished she wanted it, but if she thought I wasn’t going to fuck my wife senseless every chance I had, she was delusional.
I frowned, reaching out to touch her chin softly. “What’s wrong, deathtrap? You don’t want to please your new husband?” I ran my thumb over her perfect little mouth, and her brow creased.
“Can we finish the rest of the show first? It’s almost done, and this is the finale.”
I glanced over at Shem, who was watching us with a lazy grin on his face.
“Yeah, watch the last episode with us, Ram, we can fuck her after. ”
Lilith gave Shem a grateful smile, and my heart warmed. I supposed there was no harm in waiting a little longer.
“Alright, what’s it about?” I asked.
“This priest gets turned into a vampire, and he fucks this whole little fishing island up! It’s absolutely horrible . You’re going to love it,” Shem explained, grinning like a maniac.
I chuckled, nodding. “Sounds right up my alley,” I said, sliding onto the bed. I reached out and tugged on Lilith’s collar. “Get in my lap,” I ordered, and she did so without question or complaint. I tucked her in between my legs and pulled her back against me. She felt so small and fragile in my arms. I kissed the side of her head and nodded at Shem.
“Alright, put it on,” I said, and he smirked and clicked play.
The show started, and before long, Shem and Lilith were enthralled again. Lilith excitedly pointed things out to me as we watched, and Shem had to pause several times so she could explain who the characters were and what had happened to get to the point in the story I had joined in on.
Her little face lit up as she talked, and I realized how much I had stolen from her by not allowing her to have any friends. An aching pit of guilt grew in my chest as we watched. The happier and more animated she became, the more I felt like absolute shit.
When the show was over, she twisted in my lap and looked up at me with a giant smile on her face, her eyes shining.
“Thank you for letting me watch the end,” she said softly, and to my surprise, she leaned into me and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
My rotted heart struggled to beat, and I melted into the gentle feel of her willing mouth against mine. I ran my fingers through her long hair, massaging her scalp, and she smiled against me.
I suddenly didn’t want to fuck her anymore. I wanted to make her smile again.
“What should we watch next?” I asked her softly, and her eyes widened in surprise.
“We could watch Gerald’s Game,” Shem suggested as he flipped through the options on the screen. Lilith made a face and twisted back around in my lap to face the TV.
“Definitely not Gerald’s Game,” she said as Shem played the preview. I chuckled when I realized the premise of the movie was about a woman whose husband passed away from a heart attack shortly after chaining her to the bed, leaving her stranded.
I could understand why Lilith wasn’t interested in watching that one. It likely hit a little too close to home.
“What about a classic… Want to watch Scream ?” Shem asked, and Lilith squealed .
“Yes! Oh my G — ” she stopped herself and glanced up at me sheepishly. “Oh my gosh, I haven’t watched Scream in so long. Ramel, have you seen it?”
I shook my head, and her jaw dropped.
“You haven’t seen Scream?”
“Dude, you need to get out more,” Shem said, shaking his head in disbelief. He queued up the movie, and Lilith settled back into my chest.
“Okay, you have to tell me every time you have a prediction for who the killer is,” Lilith ordered, and Shem manifested a bowl of potato chips.
He slid back to sit with us and put the bowl on Lilith’s lap.
“If you want to feed me chips like old times, I won’t complain.” Shem smirked at Lilith. She rolled her eyes and shoved a chip aggressively into his mouth.
“It’s less cute when you’re my captor instead of my cat,” she grumbled, though her tone was light. Shem laughed and crunched on his chip with a shrug.
“Maybe from where you’re sitting, but on my end, they still taste better hand-delivered.”
She just laughed and fed him another chip.
“Fine, you asshole. Watch the movie.”