Chapter 40
“I’m not losing you again. You’re staying right here.”
—JACK DAWSON, TITANIC (1997)
T he next few days started to feel… almost normal. I wasn’t sure if it was because human beings are resilient creatures who are capable of adapting quickly to traumatic situations or if I was just actually happy.
Being held against my will by two demons didn’t seem too bad when it came with things like company. As depressing as it was to admit, the night I watched spooky movies with Ramel and Shem had been one of the best nights of my life. I’d never been able to watch TV with other people before. Shem’s commentary was hilarious, and Ramel seemed truly interested in every single opinion or thought I had about each scenario.
They left the chains off me that night, and I had fallen asleep curled up between the two of them, with Ramel’s fingers in my hair and a smile on my face.
The next few days followed the same pattern. Shem still had a split personality though, which was unnerving and scary. However, I started to realize that if I just did what I was told in the mornings when we were doing ‘obedience training,’ I would get the version of Shem that was my friend in the afternoon, and we could just hang out.
I had expected the training to be sexual, and some of it was, but most of it was rehearsing what I would say if an archangel tried to ‘save’ me from Hell. The cattle prodder always loomed as a threat over my head, but so far, he hadn’t needed to use it on me.
Ramel would return in the evenings from whatever he was doing all day, and Shem would have me show him what I learned; then, we would either go to dinner or have food brought to the room.
After dinner, we would typically return to the room, and Ramel would fuck me. Sometimes Shem joined, sometimes he didn’t. As insane as it was, I found myself starting to look forward to the sex. Ramel knew exactly where to touch me, how long to touch me for, and how much to tease me. It was always kinky and depraved, but I always came so hard and slept so well after that I found it hard to complain.
By the fourth day, Shem stopped leashing me when we left the room, and I no longer had to sleep with chains on my wrists. Everything had been going so well that I was starting to wonder if they were still going to punish me for trying to run on my wedding day.
The day of the meeting, Shem was cruising through the menu on the TV, trying to find something to watch, when I finally asked him about my punishment.
“I hate to ask, but… does this mean you’re not going to punish me anymore for trying to run?” I had been toying with the idea of asking, as I didn’t want to remind them if they had forgotten, but the suspense was killing me.
Shem gave me a mischievous look. “You will still be punished, but it will happen when you least expect it.”
I made a face. Fucking great.
Just then, the door flew open, and Ramel swept into the room. He dropped ‘ Mesopotamian Origins’ on the table by the fireplace and ran a hand through his hair. He spun to face us, his eyes wild, and Shem pursed his lips.
“You found it.”
Ramel nodded, looking furious.
“Do you remember now?” Shem asked, sounding somehow both sad and nervous at the same time. Ramel’s eyes were blazing with pain and rage.
To my surprise, he stalked toward Shem and wrapped his arms around his friend, crushing him into his chest.
“Shemhazai…” He choked on the words, and my heart flooded with warmth at the rare display of tender emotion. “I missed you.”
Shem hugged him back tightly, and if I didn’t know any better, I would say the cat demon’s green eyes were glassy with tears.
“Missed you too, asshole.” He replied gruffly.
“Found what?” I asked, eyeing up the massive book. Had Ramel read that whole thing? No wonder he had been gone all week. Ramel’s eyes snapped to me, and it was as if he were seeing me for the first time.
Turning away from Shem, he stalked toward me and grabbed my ankles. I squeaked as he dragged me across the bed until I was sitting on the edge. He knelt on the floor between my knees and reached up to cup my face, forcing me to look down and meet his gaze.
“Lilith…”
He searched my eyes, and before I knew it, he was showering me with gentle kisses. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed every inch of me as if I were some holy vessel that needed worshiping.
“Ramel, wh? — ”
“Shh, shh. Please, Lilith, just let me hold you,” he begged, and his voice cracked. I realized suddenly that his cheeks were wet with tears. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered against my lips in between kisses. “I’m so, so sorry.”
I wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. He had done so many fucked up things to me and had never shown any remorse. This sudden, heartfelt, and sincere apology felt out of place.
I pulled back and searched his eyes, frowning. I couldn’t understand the expression on his face. It was full of sadness, heartache, anger, and… fear?
“What’s happening? What did you find?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
He swallowed and rubbed his thumb over my cheek softly. “I found out why you were put in purgatory. It was my fault.” His voice was rough, and there was a small tremor in his hands.
“Lilith… Hazai and I need to leave for this meeting. You have to promise me that if someone offers to help you escape, you will say no. I can’t protect you if you leave here.”
“Isn’t that what Shem has been trying to brainwash me to do all week?” I asked incredulously.
Ramel winced as if I had physically struck him. He exchanged a look with Shem, who was looking sick and pale.
“Lilith, this isn’t a joke. Promise me.”
I frowned, unnerved at how upset they both seemed to be, but nodded.
“I promise,” I whispered. He scanned my face intently for a moment, then dipped his head, sliding his hands down into my lap to lace his fingers through mine.
“I really hope you’re not lying to me,” he murmured, his voice low.
Shem came forward and sat on the bed next to me. He tugged me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. Laying his head on my shoulder, he looked down at Ramel, who was still staring at me like I was the moon and he was the tide.
Shem left a gentle kiss on the side of my neck, and I shivered. Something about being cradled between them like this was starting to feel comforting and natural, no matter how much my mind wanted to resist it.
“I understand what you meant now when you said five days wasn’t enough time,” Ramel murmured, meeting Shem’s gaze over my shoulder. He traced gentle circles on my hands with his thumbs, and I sank deeper into Shem’s lap .
That felt nice.
Shem nodded against me, his chin grazing my collar. No matter how good I was, they refused to take it off.
“Should we chain her up? I’ve wondered for years if it would have made a difference if I had done that the first time,” Shem murmured into my hair, and I stiffened. I moved to pull away, but suddenly, Shem had an iron grip on my waist, and Ramel was gripping my wrists so hard I couldn’t move. I knew better than to struggle, but I tried anyway.
“Please… no,” I whimpered. I was so sick of chains.
Ramel’s face fell as I half-heartedly struggled against Shem’s nap. “Ramel, please,” I begged him, and he looked like his heart was breaking. Finally, he sighed, and I knew what decision he had made.
“Yeah, let’s tie her up. I don’t think it’ll stop them if they come here, but it may stop her if they try the same bullshit as last time.”
I struggled harder and shook my head. “Please, no chains! I won’t leave. I promise.”
“Shhh, Lil. Stop it. You don’t get a say in this,” Shem growled against me as Ramel reached over to grab one of my cuffs. I tried to pull my hand away, but he was too fast and too strong. Once the first one was on, it took very little effort for the two of them to overpower me and get me back on the bed.
They managed to force the second cuff on, and I gave up on struggling. I had been in this position enough times to know there was no getting out of it unless one of them let me out.
Ramel reached out to stroke my face, but I jerked my head away from him. This wasn’t fair. I was so sick of being forced to do things against my will. I didn’t understand how they could be so sweet one second and then lock me up like a prisoner the next.
“Look at me,” Ramel said, and I shook my head, refusing to meet his gaze. Shem grabbed my chin and jerked my head up abruptly.
“Don’t be a fucking brat, Lilith, not today,” he snapped. This was obedience training Shem, not the Shem that liked to cuddle and watch movies. I felt my eyes flood with tears, but they did nothing to soften him.
He growled and glanced over at Ramel. “We definitely didn’t have enough time. I’ll get Art to watch her while we’re gone.”
Ramel nodded, pursing his lips. Finally, Shem turned back to me. “Ramel said to look at him, Lilith. Do as you’re told.”
I glared at Shem but finally turned my gaze to Ramel. His expression was full of remorse. He looked so sad that for a moment, I almost forgave him for chaining me up.
“Please don’t leave this room,” he murmured, and I looked pointedly at the chains on my wrists .
“I couldn’t if I tried,” I snapped, and he stroked my face softly, tucking my hair behind my ear. “We will unchain you as soon as we get back, I promise. I’m sorry that we have to do this, but it’s for your own good.”
Finally, he stood up and jerked his head to Shem.
“Let’s go. I have some fucking things to say to that piece of shit.”
Shem nodded. “I bet you do.” He shot a glance at me and pursed his lips. “Be good, Lil,” Shem muttered. He dropped a kiss on my forehead and hopped out of bed to follow Ramel out.
“Wait! What did you do to get me stuck in purgatory? Aren’t you going to tell me?” I asked, and Ramel paused by the door, looking back at me with regret painted across his face.
“I loved you,” he rasped, and my heart stopped in my chest.