Chapter 65
“Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.”
—OSHO
“ S he’s going to be fine,” Shem said several minutes after Lilith had darted out of the room. I had been staring after her for a full minute, fighting every instinct to hunt her back down and tell her I changed my mind.
My head snapped to where he sat at the chess table, still playing the same game against himself. “This coming from the demon who gave me shit for feeling bad about chaining her to the bed before the meeting.”
Shem rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat, eyeing me up and down. “That was different. We weren’t here to protect her. The entire manor is charmed to track her; we’ll know where she is every second she’s not in the room with us. Let her run around and make some friends.” For a moment, a pained expression flickered across his face. “For a moment there, I was worried we actually broke her. Submitting to us killed something inside her. She needs this.”
I knew what he meant. I had seen it too. It was as if the light had suddenly been sucked from her eyes, and I truly worried for a minute we may not be able to rekindle it again.
“You’re right,” I sighed. “She’s just so fragile right now; she could get hurt. Even die.” I remembered how close she had wandered to the edge of the Fountain of Death earlier and cringed. Even I wouldn’t have been able to prevent her from dying if she had entered those waters.
“She’ll be fine,” Shem repeated. “Even if she wanders out of bounds, we’ll know about it. Then you’d get to punish her, and we both know how much you love to do that.” He smirked at the board and check-mated himself.
I pursed my lips. The truth was, I wasn’t as interested in punishing her now that I had my memories back. It would be different if she also had her memories back and understood the game. The look in her eyes earlier, when I knew the endorphins had faded and she had been left alone in her own thoughts, had shaken me. I was hesitant to keep pushing her before Samhain.
There was a knock on the door, and Art let himself in, looking perplexed.
“You have a visitor,” he said. Shem frowned.
“Who?”
“Gabriel.”
“Fuck,” I breathed. Shem immediately got up to change into something less casual. “Tell him to wait for us in the office; we’ll meet him there,” I ordered. Art nodded, turning on his heel and heading back out at a clipped pace.
“I guess Yahweh finally got sick of waiting for Rafael to return,” I muttered as Shem did up the buttons on a fresh, black collared shirt.
“My bet is He’s more pissed about the missing scepter than Rafael,” he replied, his voice dark. I pressed my tongue into the side of my cheek in agitation.
“That too.”
Shem and I made it to the office to find Gabriel and Art waiting. Gabriel was standing with his back to us, his hands in the pockets of his white slacks. He was staring into the massive crackling green fire that roared in the obsidian mouth of the fireplace. The archangel’s auburn hair was cut short in stylish waves that flowed over the top of his head, making it look like he had run his hand through it one too many times.
We called this room ‘the office,’ though there wasn’t really a desk space. Just two large leather couches facing each other in front of the massive floor-to-ceiling obsidian fireplace. It was where we often held meetings with archangels, as it was close to the entrance of the manor and prevented us from having to bring them too deep into the fold.
“Gabriel, to what do we owe the pleasure?” I drawled as we entered. I threw myself down into one of the couches and sprawled out across it. Shem perched against the arm to my right and raised an eyebrow at the archangel as he turned to face us. Art leaned discreetly against the fireplace, making himself available should Shem and I need something.
Gabriel’s face was carved from alabaster, and his eyes shone like two citrine jewels beneath sharply groomed eyebrows. The smirk on his lips was nearly nefarious enough to compete with Shemhazai’s.
“Oh, just wondering if you two happen to know where Yahweh’s glorified dildo has gone. I’m also looking for the scepter.”
Shem let out a snort, and I shot him a glare. It wasn’t like him to lose control of his mask in front of the enemy. However, Gabriel always had a way of making Shem laugh. Even Art looked amused.
Shem smirked at me and shrugged. “What? That was funny.”
I shook my head, biting back a smirk of my own. Gabriel sketched a sarcastic bow, raising an eyebrow.
“So? Any idea where I can find what I’m looking for? Yahweh’s having a fit, and honestly, I just want Him to get off my dick.”
I forced myself not to scowl. More like he wanted Raf back so Gabriel wouldn’t be the one stuck sucking Yahweh’s dick, but tom-a-to, tom-ah-to.
“Of course we know what you’re looking for,” Shem said, his own lips pursing. We had both been on the receiving end of Yahweh’s affections. Despite the fact that Gabriel was not one of ours to protect, it was still irritating to hear him reference Yahweh’s habit of taking advantage of His angels so casually. “Unfortunately, we will not be returning either. Rafael is… repenting for his sins,” Shem said, glancing down at his fingernails. He picked at a dark speck of something that looked suspiciously like blood.
Gabriel sighed. “Alright, at least give me the scepter. I need to leave here with something, or He’ll have my ass.” I tried not to wince again at the choice of words.
“No. Yahweh’s insane if He thinks we’re just going to hand back a weapon of that caliber. He’s looking at another war if He wants any of His toys back,” I snapped.
“Yeah, because that went so well for you last time,” Gabriel shot back. A sliver of his power escaped the chokehold he normally kept it under, and I growled a warning. He was powerful, but Shem and I were stronger, especially together and in our own home.
Gabriel had been made while Lilith and I had been in purgatory to take over my role as God’s primary messenger. He and Shem knew each other well because he had acted as emissary between Shem and Yahweh for several thousand years. Perhaps that was why the two of them had a relatively relaxed relationship despite technically being mortal enemies.
“Watch it, Gabe,” Shem warned, his tone turning from playful to deadly. Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the cat demon.
“Listen. You know me. I’m not here to stir up shit for either of you, but if you send me back empty-handed, all it’s going to do is piss Yahweh off. He’s already plotting how to get your asses back into purgatory, and this time He won’t be taking any of you back out. Especially not your precious Lilith.”
I leapt up from the couch, ripping into my Reaper form at the sound of Lilith’s name on the lips of an archangel. Rot spread out from beneath my feet, fungus and mold reaching forward in spongy veins toward Gabriel’s pristine white boots.
“Say her name again,” I snarled, “I fucking dare you.”
Gabriel didn’t flinch. “Fucking relax, Ramel. I’m not threatening her. I’m just telling you what you already know. Keep Raf for all I care, but at least give me the scepter. Yahweh has like forty more of them anyway. It’s not like you’re crippling him by keeping it. He just doesn’t want you to have it.”
I forced myself not to react. I hadn’t known that. From the way Shem stilled next to me, I realized he hadn’t known either.
It seemed Yahweh was already planning for war and was arming His angels with weapons that could unmake our people and seriously tip the balance. I clenched my fists at my sides. We were at a grave disadvantage here. We were going to need to find a way to get the upper hand and fast, or we didn’t stand a fucking chance.
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t know, did you?”
Shem hissed, but Gabriel just looked annoyed. “Here I thought you two assholes were down here plotting against us, and you didn’t even know Yahweh’s been making weapons? He has a whole fucking plan to take you down and lock up your queen. What have you two been doing for the last thousand years?”
As much as I wanted to rot him to pieces for speaking to me that way, I had to admit he was right. What had I been doing? Fucking hating and tormenting the very person I should have been working to protect. Shem saw the blood drain from my face and immediately came to my defense.
“You know Ramel didn’t have access to his memories because your precious Yahweh wiped them.”
“Fuck off, Shemhazai, that’s not an excuse,” Gabriel snarled. “What the fuck have you been doing, then?”
“My words were bound.”
“But your actions were not. You’re telling me you’ve spent this whole time down here just fucking the dog while Ramel followed around a human girl?”
For a moment, it looked like Shem was going to give Gabriel the same treatment that he had given Rafael. His face went white with rage, and his fists clenched so tightly at his sides that he shook. As quickly as the anger came, he wiped it away. Suddenly, he was relaxed again. He gave Gabriel one of his easy, sly grins and leaned back against the arm of the couch, crossing his legs casually in front of him.
“Sounds like you have some opinions on what I should have been doing with my time over the past millennia, Gabe. Please, enlighten me. How would you have spent that time if you were me? ”
Gabriel’s amber eyes flashed in the green firelight, a sinister smile spreading across his face.
“I would have been coming up with a plan to get fucking revenge.”