Chapter 26 #2
“No, I lied,” I said with a sneer, and his smile dropped. “But you should know that he knows this isn’t really a marriage. I don’t know how he knows, but he does.”
“Why isn’t this a real marriage, Leah? We said vows in front of God, and you are carrying my child in your belly.” Surging forward, he pressed his hand against my stomach, flattening the material of his shirt to it.
“It’s a real marriage to me, Leah.”
I couldn’t help it, I spluttered out a laugh.
“Come on, Viktor, pull the other one. This isn’t a marriage, it’s a sham.
You don’t leave your wife on the sofa so you can go and have sex with your mistress upstairs.
It was one of the things Boris wanted to discuss—how stupid I am for thinking you would be faithful. ”
“I have been faithful to you, Leah.”
I rolled my eyes, and he was on me instantly, gripping my chin between his thumb and fingers in a hold that kept me facing him but didn’t hurt at all.
“I have never broken my vows. Not once. In fact, there has been no other woman in my bed since the day I first saw you. There has only been you.” His eyes bored down into mine unblinking, and for a second, it felt like I was being drowned in their dark depths.
“Now, I know you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. I know it looked bad.”
Again, I rolled my eyes. Bad didn’t quite cover it.
“Roll your eyes at me again, Leah, and I’ll make them roll in a different way.
” His grip on my ankle loosened, but instead of letting it go, he lifted my foot to his lips and placed a kiss on my ankle bone.
“I did not sleep with her.” Another kiss.
“You didn’t see him, but Ivan was in that room as well.
She had slashed me across the thigh, and I was in the bathroom when you came up.
She knocked Ivan out with a lamp. I promise you that nothing happened. ”
Did I believe that?
“Leah, look at me.”
Unwillingly, I met his eyes.
“I didn’t touch her, Leah.”
“Ok.”
He groaned. “No, it’s not ok, Leah. Saying ok like that means you have given up. That you won’t fight.”
“Fight for what? Come on, Viktor, it’s not like—”
He stood up suddenly, and for a second I was mesmerised by the sight of his naked chest. And then my eyes found his belt as he unwound it, and I looked away.
“What are you doing, Viktor?”
“Proving to you that I am telling the truth.” His button popped, and he pushed the material down his thighs. High on his right leg, a thick bandage was wrapped.
“And if this,” he began to unwind it, grimacing when the white gauze caught on the slash, “doesn’t make you believe, I will call in Ivan. His is worse than mine.”
The slash across his upper thigh was angry, like a mouth that had been stitched shut with jagged black wire.
Without thinking, I reached for it. My fingertips slid across his skin, but stayed away from the cut. “Who stitched you up?” I whispered.
“I did.” He said it like it was nothing and that it was an everyday occurrence to stitch yourself back together.
I let my fingers trace up his leg, again. “You should have gone to the hospital.” I couldn’t help it, leaning forward, I replaced my fingertips with my lips.
“I didn’t want to leave you. You believe me, don’t you?” Reaching down, he ran his fingers through my hair. “Tell me you believe me.”
“She really stabbed you?” My lips inches from his thigh, I darted my eyes up to him.
“Yes, she did. Do I need to get Ivan?”
I shook my head. It didn’t really matter whether he got Ivan or not. Ivan would lie for him anyway. It was up to me to make a decision based on what I was feeling. There was only one problem with that. I didn’t know if I could trust my own feelings anymore, not when it came to Viktor.
“Why didn’t you take my father’s offer?”
My hands fell to my side, and I sighed, “I don’t know.”
He didn’t seem to get angry about that. He just nodded. “You were angry with me. You thought I had betrayed you. Any other person would have agreed just to spite me.” There was more understanding in his voice than there should have been.
Understanding and not an ounce of anger, which was strange for Viktor. His go-to emotion was always anger.
“Then I guess I’m not a normal person,” I shrugged.
He beamed down at me. “I am well aware of that, but that doesn’t answer my question. Why didn’t you sell me out? If you had told him that this was an arrangement, then—”
“You would have lost everything,” I answered for him.
“I know, and I didn’t want that to happen.
I won’t betray you, Viktor. Not even when you are done with me because—” There was a word on the tip of my tongue that I had sworn I would never say to him.
I hadn’t even really admitted it to myself before.
“You are loyal to me.” Viktor just stood there and stared down at me like he had never seen me before.
“I guess I am,” I shrugged. “Don’t think too much into it.”
“Too late,” he whispered. “Beautiful, sexy, passionate, and loyal. How did I get so lucky?” Gently, he smoothed his fingers from my hair to my cheek.
“Your money?”
Throwing back, he laughed, a great booming sound that caused Ivan to appear in the doorway. “Is everything alright?” He froze on seeing Viktor towering over me with his pants down .
“My bad.” He scuttled off with a laugh, but not before I saw the bandage wrapped around his head.
Either this was a very elaborate lie or Viktor was telling me the truth.
“But we know it’s more than the agreement now, Leah. We are having a baby together. A child. That is going to lock us together forever, even if we aren’t together.”
I dropped my hands from his leg. “Yeah, we need to talk about that.”
“What is there to talk about? We are married. We will continue to be married.”
“We can’t stay married if either one of us is straying.”
Viktor’s eyes narrowed. “You would never stray. I wouldn’t allow another man to touch you and get away with it.” His voice shook with the familiar anger.
“I know you wouldn’t, and you can’t expect me to want differently.
I know it’s not your way and you’re the kind of person that will keep a wife and several mistresses, but I can’t be with you if you do that.
” I blew out a breath. “I’m sorry I can’t.
If you can’t remain faithful until either our agreement is at an end or the baby is born, then you are going to need to release me from the contract. ”
“Fuck the contract,” he growled out. “I don’t care about the contact, Leah. I never really have. I have not and will never cheat on you. The thing with Manda was a misunderstanding. I thought you believed that.”
“I do believe that. But you have needs, and I can’t satisfy those needs anymore. It’s only a matter of time before you find someone who can. It’s best if we discuss this now.”
“You can’t satisfy?” His eyebrows jiggled upwards in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”
“You haven’t touched me since the accident. It’s pretty obvious that you don’t find me attractive.”
He laughed, and I blinked rapidly up at him in shock. Bristling, I pushed him away, but in true Viktor style, he didn’t move.
“Oh, Printsessa, you are adorable. ”
“Don’t you dare laugh at me, Viktor.” My voice shook with anger. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
Something in my voice sobered him up instantly.
Falling to his knees, he trapped my face between his giant hands.
“Sometimes I forget how young you are, Leah. You’re right.
I haven’t touched you, but that has nothing to do with not wanting you.
” Grabbing my ankles, he wrapped my legs around his waist and trapped me back against the couch cushions. “And everything to do with me.”
“I know.” Talking about stating the obvious. He wasn’t attracted to me now. He hadn’t been since the explosion, or maybe it was after he had found out I was pregnant.
For all I knew, Viktor just didn’t like the idea of me gaining weight.
“I was afraid.”
“Wait, what?” I did a double-take. Had I heard him right? Or was my mind playing tricks on me?
“I almost lost you in that explosion, Leah, and seeing you on that street fighting to stay with me changed everything. I thought I was going to lose you, and it made me realize I need you in my life. Not just you, but the baby as well.” He took a deep, settling breath.
“And then God gave me you back, and you are carrying my child, and I couldn’t touch you.
Not the way I want to because,” his voice shook with more emotion than I had ever heard him have.
“What if I were too rough and hurt you? You’re still healing. What if I hurt the baby?”
“Viktor.” I didn’t think about it, I just brushed my fingers against his cheek, and for a second he leaned into my hand. “You have never hurt me, and you won’t hurt our baby either. Being intimate with me isn’t going to.”
“But what if it does?”
“It won’t. The doctor said it’s perfectly safe. You aren’t going to hurt me. What hurts me is thinking I’m not enough for you.”
“You are more than enough for me, Leah.” Slowly, he let his eyes wander down my body.
“Are you sure you aren’t hurt? In pain?” His eyes glittered as they drifted from the triangle open at the top of my shirt to my parted thighs.
His shirt was long on me, but in this position, I was almost completely bare for him. I shook my head.
“Use your words, Leah.” He inched closer, yanking down his boxers as he came closer.
“I’m not in any pain.”
“Good.”bringing his fingers to his mouth, he licked them and swiped that wetness against my pussy. The next second, he pried my legs apart with his knee and slammed his cock straight in.
I screamed at the sudden intrusion, the burn and the stretch were enough to make my back arch.
Gathering me up into his arms, Viktor began to move. He made long, slow, deliberate thrusts that had me whimpering for more every time he almost completely withdrew, and in the next breath, screaming in pleasure as he filled me completely.
“Does this feel,” falling on top of me, he brought our faces together, “like I don’t want you. I’ll want you forever. Believe that. I am going to want you forever.”
Angling his hips, he hit the spot deep inside of me that sent stars erupting in my eyes. I clung to him. I buryied my face into his neck as he fucked me into submission against the couch cushions.
“I love you.”
He didn’t even pause. And he didn’t say it back.
Oh God, he didn’t say it back.
My mind went into overdrive, my eyes fixed on a spot above his shoulder as I tried not to try.
I had said I loved him out loud, and he hadn’t even said it back.
Could I blame him for that, though? During sex wasn’t exactly the best time to say those words, but they had just come tumbling out.
It didn’t make them any less true, though. I realized that I did love him. I just hadn’t admitted it to myself before.
“Leah.” Viktor's voice made my eyes swing towards him. His look was questioning. “Am I—”
He thought he was hurting me physically, when in reality, he was just hurting me emotionally. But wasn’t that all the way with him? I should have been used to it by now.
Shaking my head, I drew his head down to mine so I could kiss him. It was easier like this. When he couldn’t ask me questions, and I couldn’t say anything stupid like I love you.
Tightening my legs around his waist, I lifted my hips to meet each one of his thrusts. Until there was nothing in my mind but the heaven forming between my thighs as he ploughed in and out.
This was all there was between us. It didn’t matter what Viktor said because he hadn’t said I love you back.
He would fuck me, care for me, and treat me like his wife and the mother of his baby, but none of that really mattered.
Because I had admitted I loved him.
And he hasn’t said it back.