Chapter 16 #2
A humorless chuckle escaped me as I sat my ass back down on Theo’s grave, once again leaning against his headstone.
“They met. A few years back. Not only did she sneak into Hollows Bay, she also managed to get into Exotique with a fake fucking ID. And then she caught Theo’s attention.
One night. That was all it took for him to decide she was the woman he would spend the rest of his life with.
” I chuckled again. “A bit like you with Riley.”
His shoulders slumped. “Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
An awkward silence settled between us as the events of the night in Exotique played in my mind for the millionth time. Would things have been different if I’d managed to get to Sofia first, or was she always destined for Theo?
Her words from a few weeks ago, when I’d saved her from being kidnapped, rang in my ears. ‘Always Theo.’
I guess that answered the ‘what if.’
Movement brought me back to the present as Kai sat next to me atop Theo’s grave. I shifted over so the two of us could lean against his headstone. The three Wolfes reunited once more.
“You felt the same way about her.” It wasn’t a question. Kai was simply stating the truth. I nodded, unable to form a reply. “And if I had to guess, I’d say you still feel that way for her.”
This time, I didn’t even nod.
After a few more beats of silence passed between us, Kai continued. “And what about Sofia? Does she know how you feel? How you’ve felt since the night you met her?”
“What do you think?”
“I think you’re a moron if you haven’t told her,” he huffed. “People change, Miles. Time changes people. She may have once been attracted to Theo, but she’s married to you-”
“Because she didn’t have a choice.”
“Maybe not. But that doesn’t mean she can’t develop feelings.
Christ, you think she was dancing the way she was the other night to get the attention of anyone but you?
And don’t tell me you haven’t seen the longing in her eyes whenever you pair are in the same room together?
” When I didn’t reply, he added, “You really are an idiot.”
I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t sure I liked this loved-up version of Kai; he was too optimistic for my liking.
“It doesn’t matter whether she’s developed feelings for me or not,” I said, wishing I had more weed so I could smoke myself into a coma and ignore the twinge of hope sparking at Kai’s observation. “She belongs to Theo.”
“Theo is dead,” Kai retorted harshly.
“I’m well aware of that, thank you.” I scrubbed a hand down my face, frustration getting the better of me, and loosening my tongue.
“Christ, Kai. Don’t you think I would love nothing more than to give in to how I feel and have what you have?
You think I don’t see the way you and Riley love each other so fucking deeply and wish it was something I could have-”
“You could have it, Miles. You’re holding onto loyalty to a dead man.”
“He was my best friend!” I snapped, my hands clenching with the need to pummel something. Preferably Kai’s face. “He was my best friend, and I let him down when he needed me the most. And now you think it’s perfectly acceptable to take the woman he’d decided he wanted to spend his life with.”
“Fuck sake,” Kai barked. “How many times do we have to go over this? It wasn’t your fault that Theo was killed.
He chose to go to that meeting on his own; he knew the risk.
We all know the risk our lifestyle brings, and for all you know, if you had gone with him, you could have been killed as well. ”
“Would have saved all this shit,” I muttered.
Kai cursed under his breath. “This is like talking to a brick wall.”
“Don’t let me keep you then.”
Much to my annoyance, he didn’t move, and after a few seconds, he spoke again.
“Let me ask you this. If things had been the other way around, if it were you in the ground and Theo was still alive, and he found himself in the position of being married to a woman you had met and wanted to spend your life with, would you begrudge him the chance of happiness? Would you want your best friend to spend the rest of his life in misery, pining over someone he could have but wouldn’t allow himself to? ”
His question knocked the wind right out of my sails. I’d never allowed myself to think what I would have wanted for Theo if the roles were reversed. Truthfully, I didn’t need to even think about the answer. Yet, I knew it wouldn’t change a thing for me.
“And while we’re on the subject,” Kai continued when I didn’t answer. “If you’d made the decision to go off on your own and ended up with a knife buried in you, would you hold it against Theo for not coming with you? Or would you have accepted responsibility for your actions?”
I still didn’t reply, because again, the answer was easy. Of course I wouldn’t blame Theo. I wouldn’t have blamed him, and I would only ever have wanted him to be happy.
Kai got to his feet, brushing his sweats down.
“Your silence speaks a thousand words, Miles. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m going back to bed.
You can sit here for the rest of the night and hold your pity party, or you can accept that Theo would want you to be happy and start living your fucking life. I know what I would do.”
With that, he strolled away, disappearing into the darkness of the trees and leaving me to ponder his questions.