Chapter 24
Sofia
By the time Miles was finished with me, my entire body ached, but in the best possible way. Who knew sex could be so damn amazing?
Like he’d threatened, he bent me over his knee, alternating between spanking my ass and fucking me with his fingers until I came all over his hand. After, he made me ride him on the couch, his mouth leaving more marks scattered over my breasts as I came on his cock.
Thinking he’d be sated, I let him carry me to the small shower where he pressed me against the tiles and fucked me until my knees almost buckled.
Personally, I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the afternoon; it sure as hell beat the silent treatment or the arguments we always had whenever we were in the same room for more than a few minutes.
As much as I wanted to believe that something had shifted between us, and that Miles had decided not to fight his feelings toward me anymore, I couldn’t help the little niggle of doubt lodged in my brain.
Every so often, particularly after he’d made me come, guilt flashed in his eyes, disappearing as quickly as it arrived.
I hoped I was wrong, but I couldn’t help but think that once we went back to reality, he’d revert to being the cold-hearted bastard I’d known him to be since the minute he re-entered my life.
The rest of the evening passed in domestic bliss. I offered to make dinner—mac and cheese, which I learned was Miles’ favorite, just not the canned type—while he got back to working on hacking the security system. Only, he spent more time questioning me about my cooking hobby than actually working.
When dinner was finished, and after we cleaned the kitchen, we played another game of chess, this time asking each other lighthearted questions like, ‘Who’s your favorite cartoon character?’ and, ‘If you could be the opposite sex for the day, what would you do?’
It took him a solid five minutes to stop laughing after I’d told him I’d spend the day spinning my cock like a helicopter if I were a man. It was the first time I’d heard him laugh so genuinely, so carefree, and I couldn’t stop myself from gawking at him.
He was the most beautiful man I’d ever known when he didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Of course, he won, resulting in me on my knees once again, sucking his cock. I had no complaints, not when he shoved me onto my back, spread my legs, and devoured my pussy like he was a starved man.
Exhausted, I could barely keep my eyes open. Miles carried me to bed, tucking me under the covers before kissing my head and telling me he was going to have one last attempt at hacking the security system before he called it a night.
My head hadn’t even hit the pillow before I was asleep.
Anguished moans pulled me from my dreams. Disoriented, my eyes fluttered open, and I found Miles asleep, lying on his side facing me, his features bathed in the soft glow coming from his computer across the bunker.
“No, please,” he moaned.
His brows were pulled together in a severe frown, almost as if he was in agony. I stayed still, unsure whether I should try to wake him, when his body lurched and he rolled onto his back.
“I…never meant…” he continued, now writhing as he slumbered on.
Never meant what?
I lifted myself onto my elbow, still unsure whether to wake him, but my decision was made when he flung an arm over his bare chest and groaned, “Theo…I’m sorry.”
My heart broke at realizing he was dreaming about his cousin, and I wondered if this was the first time. Hesitantly, I reached over and rested my palm on his arm.
“Miles,” I whispered, gently shaking him.
He didn’t wake, and all my touch seemed to do was antagonize his nightmare. His hand moved from his chest, trying to shrug me off as he continued to groan. “Please, don’t hurt her.”
My brows lifted. Hurt who?
“Miles, it’s me,” I cooed, squeezing his arm.
“Sofe…I’m sorry, I…tried,” he replied in his sleep, his voice laced with torment. “Don’t go.”
“It’s okay, I’m here.”
Without warning, he rolled onto his side again, but this time he crashed against me, forcing me onto my back. With an arm across my stomach, he grabbed my hip as he threw a leg over one of mine, effectively pinning me to the bed. Wracking sobs took hold of his body as his head rested on my chest.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated again and again, clutching onto me like he thought I was going to vanish at any second. My heart cracked a little more when warm tears dripped onto me.
In his vice-like grip, I managed to free my arms, wrap them around him, and began rocking him. “Shhh, you’re okay, Miles. You’re okay.”
His apologies and moans of anguish didn’t cease, and I hated hearing his pain, especially as I couldn’t wake him from his nightmare. I continued to rock him when an idea came to mind.
When I was little and had bad dreams, Mama would sing her favorite song to me: ‘Smile,’ by Nat King Cole. I’d wake from the nightmare to find I was safe in her arms, and she’d rock me back to a peaceful sleep while she sang the entire song.
I didn’t know if it would work, but I didn’t know what else to do, and I had to try something. I started the first sentence softly, almost a whisper, my own tears threatening to fall.
Tears for Miles’ pain and tears at the memories of my mama. When I reached the end of the first verse, I paused, noticing Miles’ body was no longer trembling in my hold.
“Don’t stop,” he whispered, his grip on me loosening fractionally.
I took a relieved breath and continued with the next verse, the words coming easily for a song I hadn’t heard in years. Closing my eyes, I let the words flow, encouraged by the light circles Miles was rubbing against my hip.
For a few seconds after I finished, neither of us spoke; the only sound filling the space was the beating of our hearts. Miles continued to draw circles on my hip while I brushed my fingers along the warm skin of his arm.
“The first time I heard you sing,” he began, a hint of distress still audible in his tone. “I thought you had the most beautiful voice I’d ever heard.”
My lips lifted into an appreciative smile as warmth flooded my body at his praise. I’d been to Bar Forty-Four at least a dozen times since the day Miles walked back into my life, and I liked knowing he’d been there, even if I hadn’t seen him.
“That was you hiding in the shadows at the back of the bar, wasn’t it?” I asked, recalling the figure that lurked in the darkness, and was gone the second I stepped off the stage.
“Yeah.”
“Why did you come to the bar?”
He didn’t reply for a long second. “I told myself it was because I needed to see with my own eyes that you were safe.”
“I had Gus.” At the mention of his name, guilt speared me in the chest. I still felt terrible that I’d been the cause of his murder.
“And look how that turned out,” Miles said, shifting to look up at me. “But after the first time I heard you sing, I couldn’t have stayed away even if I tried.”
I bit my lip to stop words from spilling out when an invisible hand reached into my chest and squeezed my heart. Three little words that I couldn’t allow myself to say out of fear they wouldn’t be reciprocated.
“Are you okay now?” I said, wanting to get back into safe territory.
“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Miles replied, his head returning to rest on my chest.
“You don’t need to apologize for being human and having a nightmare, Miles.” Tentatively, I added, “What was it about?”
He inhaled a deep breath, and his relaxed body tensed under my arms. I thought he would say he didn’t want to talk about it because he didn’t speak at first, before he finally said, “Theo. It’s the same nightmare I’ve been having almost every night since he died.”
Pity rushed through me. I’d had the occasional dream about my mom, but they were never nightmares, more like she would visit me in my sleep, tell me she was at peace, and then go again. Yes, I’d awaken with a morose feeling lingering, but in a way, I liked those dreams; I got to see her again.
I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be plagued by nightmares of someone you loved.
“What happens in it?”
His arms tightened around me. “It always starts with me finding Theo’s body at the docks with his throat slit. I think he’s dead, but then he wakes up and tells me it was my fault.”
I kissed the top of his head, wishing I could make his heartache go away. “Is that…is that what happened? Did you find him?”
“Yeah.” He paused, but I didn’t reply, giving him time to find his words. “I should have been with him that night. If I had, he might still be alive.”
“Where were you?” I whispered.
I felt him swallow. “Too busy fucking women whose names I can’t even remember.”
A pang of jealousy streaked through me, but I ignored it. Back then, neither of us knew our paths were destined to cross again. I had no right to be jealous over what he did before me.
“He didn’t wait.” The guilt and blame he was putting on himself was unmissable. “I told him not to go without me, but he went anyway.”
“It’s not your fault, Miles. Theo made the decision to go alone; you can’t blame yourself for what happened.”
He didn’t reply for what seemed like an eternity. “I know. For so long, I blamed myself, but…I think I’m beginning to accept that it wasn’t my fault. I just wish these nightmares would fuck off.”
I kissed the top of his head again. “They will, you just have to give them time.”
“I wish I could believe that, especially now.”
“Especially now?”
He sighed heavily. “Ever since the deal was made for us to be married, the nightmares changed to Theo accusing me of stealing you from him. He…he kills you, and says you belong to him.”
Oh.
Stunned into silence, all I could do was stare down at Miles. He’d spent so long convincing himself that Theo was the one I wanted that night, not helped by Theo’s strange obsession with me.
But that was the thing. Theo was obsessed with Sophie White; she was the girl he had met four years ago. Every question he asked about my life as Sophie White was answered with lie after lie as I spun a web of deceit so I could live a different persona for just one night.
Theo was obsessed with the fantasy of me, not the real me.
But Miles? He knew me. He saw me for who I was.
“I wish I could make you realize that I never wanted Theo,” I whispered, more to myself than to Miles.
“It’s okay, Sofe. You don’t have to deny how you felt about him. Like you said before, it was always Theo.”
Before I could stop myself, I shifted out of Miles’ grip and sat up. “When the hell did I ever say that?”
His brow lifted as he watched me cautiously, seemingly confused about my sudden attitude. “When you were attacked at Bar Forty-Four. I carried you to the car, and you said it. You probably don’t remember ‘cos the drugs-”
“I remember perfectly well, thank you. I remember resting my cheek against your chest and feeling safer in your arms than I’ve ever felt in my life, and before I could think better of it, I said, ‘It was always you, never Theo.’”
He blinked at me several times, gaping at me like I’d just spoken a foreign language. Taking advantage of his state of shock, I pushed him onto his back before straddling his waist.
“It was always you, Miles,” I admitted quietly. “I don’t know what it was about you, but from the minute I saw you on that stage, I wanted you. The whole time Theo was talking to me, I wished it was you-”
“You kissed him,” he interrupted.
“He kissed me. Why do you think I left the table straight after? It was because I didn’t want to lead him on, and not just because I was lying about who I was, but because I wasn’t attracted to him. When he kissed me, I wanted it to be you. It was always you, never him.”
He sat up, his bare chest pressed against my shirt-covered breasts, and his eyes blazing with something powerful. Acceptance. “Say that again.”
“It was always you. I wanted you that night, and I’ve wanted you ever since,” I breathed against his lips.
His mouth was on me in an instant, his hands lacing through my hair as his tongue dominated mine. Between my thighs, his cock thickened as my pussy grew slick with my need for him.
I reached between us, shoving my hand into his boxer briefs, and wrapped my hand firmly around his shaft, my thumb running over the metal of his piercing.
Miles hissed through his teeth before flipping us so I was on my back. “Need to be inside you, Jailbait,” he growled, freeing his cock.
With one rough thrust, he was inside me. He hooked his elbows under my knees and lifted them so they were almost level with my shoulders, driving himself deeper into my pussy.
“Say it again,” he demanded, his mouth an inch away from mine.
“It was always you, Miles. Now, fuck me, and make me yours.”