Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Iwatched Rowan drive away. Away from the dorm, away from me, away from my life.
Pain gripped my heart, and I found it hard to breathe.
After five minutes, I had to force myself to turn and enter the dorm.
Like a zombie, I walked to the elevator, took it up, exited, and headed down the hallway to my room. I unlocked my door and went inside.
Sarah was still in bed. She rubbed her eyes, sitting up and yawning. “Good, you’re back. Now I don’t have to call your mom or the police and be part of a crime documentary.” She shoved her covers back and stood.
I blinked, trying to figure out what I needed to do. My mind was a jumbled mess, and I couldn’t focus on any one thing at the moment. Now that I was no longer in Rowan’s presence, the calm that I’d felt vanished, leaving me confused, heartbroken, and scared.
“Are you all right?” Sarah asked while making her bed.
Was I okay? I was alive. I wasn’t sick or dying. But I was half wolf. A freaking werewolf. I had no idea how that was even possible. It didn’t seem real. The thought of stopping the injections that contained wolfsbane scared the ever living shit out of me.
Then there was my breakup with Rowan. I took a deep breath, trying to manage the pain.
It seemed as if my heart had literally been ripped out of my chest. My body started shaking. I would never be with him again. Never laugh or joke around with him, never feel his hands on my body, never talk to him about life and our dreams. He was gone. It was like he’d died.
“Laney,” Sarah said, rushing to my side. “What’s wrong?” She put her hands on my shoulders. “Did something happen? Did Rowan hurt you? Do I need to call someone?”
The tears started flowing. “We broke up.” The words sounded so simple, so ordinary. But they were anything but. We’d only been together a short while. However, during that time, it seemed as if we connected on another level.
“Oh hon, I’m so sorry.” Sarah wrapped me in a hug, holding on tightly. “You can cry all you need. Breakups suck.” She led me over to my bed, sitting me on it. “Tell me what happened.”
I shook my head, unable and unwilling to talk about it.
I buried my face in my pillow, the tears freely flowing.
“I’m here if you need anything,” Sarah said, patting my back.
“Thank you,” I murmured. “I just need some time.”
“Of course.” She went into the bathroom, and I heard the shower turn on.
My tears flowed freely, no sign of stopping.
Memories of my time with Rowan bombarded me.
I still felt some sort of connection between us, like a link holding us together.
I guess it was love. Since I’d never had a relationship before, it was hard to compare.
I assumed this was normal. It sucked so badly that I never wanted to experience pain like this again.
I was a one and done relationship sort of girl.
My phone beeped. I glanced at it and saw it was my mom. I’d missed my morning check-in with her. I grabbed my phone and sent her a quick text. I let her know I was okay and that Rowan and I had broken up. I’m sure that would make her happy.
She called, but I didn’t bother to answer. I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone.
Some sense of self-preservation remained since I got up and took my injection of wolfsbane. The last thing I needed was to turn into a wolf and be stuck like that for the rest of my life. Or have the enforcers show up and kill me.
I remained in bed all day, just lying there. Sarah came and went, talked to me, brought me food. I didn’t remember a word she said. I was too numb to do anything other than cry and hate the situation I’d been dealt.
Monday morning rolled around, and I knew I couldn’t remain in bed any longer.
I had to go to class. If I didn’t, I might as well go home like my parents wanted.
As devastating as it was to have Rowan ripped out of my life, at least I had school to focus on.
Earning my degree had always been important to me so I could make a difference in the world. That hadn’t changed.
I rolled out of bed and showered. I dressed in sweats, went to my classes, and didn’t bother talking to anyone.
I swung by the dining hall and grabbed to-go meals so I wouldn’t have to sit around happy people or socialize.
Then I returned to my room and studied. The library was pointless since there were so many people there.
Not only did I want to avoid people, I wanted to avoid a certain someone.
My room was the safest place. I couldn’t accidentally cross paths with… him.
This new schedule worked well, so I stuck with it for the rest of the week. Adan texted on occasion to check up on me. I just gave him a thumb’s up. There was no point saying anything. I had nothing to say.
Friday evening rolled around. When Sarah entered our room, she slammed the door. “That’s it.”
I was sitting at my desk and didn’t bother to look at her.
“You can’t remain in this room all the time. It’s not healthy.” Sarah tossed her backpack on the floor. “Let’s go somewhere.”
“I have to study.”
“I hate to say this to you, but you’re worse than when you first arrived here. At least then you made an attempt to do things. But now, nothing. You don’t care.” Sarah flopped on her bed.
The only thing I cared about was finishing my degree.
Screw saying yes to new experiences. That was a sure way to end up hurt and broken.
I was done with that. Instead of living it up, I planned on taking summer school classes, just like my mom had, in order to finish early.
Once I had my degree, I’d go home and work with my mom.
Maybe we could find a way to permanently alter the werewolf gene so I could be fully human.
Then I wouldn’t have to take the wolfsbane, I wouldn’t have to be a part of Rowan’s pack, and I could live a normal life.
“Tomorrow is Halloween,” Sarah said. “Let’s get you a costume so you can go to a party with me and Danielle.”
Rowan and I were supposed to go to a Halloween party together wearing a couples costume. That obviously wasn’t happening now. He’d probably go with someone else. Someone from his pack.
“Laney,” Sarah said, snapping her fingers to get my attention.
“Sorry, I have a lot of work to do. I’m not going out tomorrow.” There was no point. I was here for a degree, not to have fun.
She threw her hands in the air. “Fine. But I’m only giving you one more week. Then I’m dragging your ass out of here if I have to.”
Wanting to put Sarah at ease so she’d stop fussing over me, I started dressing nicer and wearing makeup again.
Plus, one of my professors had asked me if I was depressed.
I assured him I was fine and that there was no need to report me.
Therapy wouldn’t help, since I couldn’t share the truth with anyone.
Maybe that was why I’d withdrawn into myself so much.
No one could help me with this. I had to get over my heartbreak and understand I was part wolf, all on my own.
Thankfully, this week passed without incident. Now that I was looking better, no one seemed concerned about me any longer. I just needed to make sure I smiled and engaged in conversation every once in a while.
Exiting my genetics lab class, I breathed in the crisp, cool air.
The dark clouds promised rain. I loved this weather since it matched my mood and made hiding out in my dorm acceptable.
Now that we were a week into November, the leaves had fallen from most of the trees.
Everything had gone from beautiful and colorful to lifeless. Like me.
“Lake,” Adan called from somewhere behind me.
I turned around, wondering if I’d forgotten something in the lab.
He jogged to catch up to me. “What are you doing tonight?”
My brows drew together. “Why are you asking?” I hated that the wolves had assigned him to watch over me like a babysitter. It made being friends with him more difficult because I constantly questioned his motives.
He shrugged. “I’m just being polite and trying to make conversation. Lately, it seems like you’ve forgotten how to do that.”
I didn’t bother with a reply.
He sighed. “We have our last rugby game of the season tonight. It’s an away game, so I need to get going. The bus leaves in thirty.”
“Good luck.” I started to turn away.
“Laney,” Adan said, his voice sounding exasperated. “I’m trying to talk to you.”
I faced him again. “Okay, talk.” I folded my arms.
“I hate seeing you like this.” He played with the straps of his backpack. “Let’s do something fun this weekend.”
“I can’t,” I replied. “I have a project I’m working on. As a matter of fact, I need to get going because I have to start on it tonight.”
“Fine.” He sighed. “If you need anything, Em’s around.”
I hadn’t spoken or talked to Emily in weeks. “What could I possibly need her for?” She’d been avoiding me, too. All the werewolves had.
“I don’t know,” he said, glancing around before taking a step closer. “It’s…well…”
“Just spit it out.”
He scratched his head. “We received word that the enforcers are coming to meet with Caleb. Officially.”
Fear shot through me. “Is it about me?”
He nodded.
“When will they be here?”
“I don’t know. Caleb just said they’d be here soon. We don’t know if that’s today, next week, or in a few weeks from now. They’re not the type of people you question.”
A shiver ran through me. “I’ll be careful.” Tonight, I’d just be in my room studying.
“They’re meeting at Caleb’s place, so they shouldn’t be here at the university. But Caleb wants us to be on the lookout just in case they stop by on their way there.”
“The Ward’s house is a couple of hours from here?” I asked, wanting to make sure.
“It is. You should be fine, but I wanted to give you a heads up. Just in case. I don’t think they’ll want to talk to you or Rowan.”
Just hearing his name sent a jolt of pain through my chest.
“Are you okay?” Adan asked, reaching out to touch my elbow.