Chapter 7
SEVEN
Something was definitely off with him. Alfie felt it all through the rest of the day. He felt it the way he couldn’t stop grinning as he sat on his couch that night, scrolling through nonsense on his phone. He felt it in the sense of anticipation gripping him the next morning as he thought up excuses to head back over to Hawthorne House to see Blaine instead of going to work. He had definitely thought about it when he was in the shower, debating whether he should rub one out to satisfy the nearly constant throb of need inside him or whether he should save it for the next time he and Blaine could find some alone time.
The worst tell of all that something was shifting in Alfie’s life came when he caught himself whistling a Christmas tune as he headed down the hall toward Group Captain Parker’s office as soon as he got into work and saw the summons in his email.
Whistling Christmas songs. Alfie shook his head with a smile. He’d reached a new low.
But he still didn’t like Christmas.
“Ah. Spears. There you are,” Parker said as Alfie entered the man’s office. “Shut the door behind you.”
Alfie did as he was asked right away, but the sudden intensity of what he’d thought would be a casual, informative meeting had his pulse picking up.
“Have a seat,” Parker said once the door was closed. “You read through the information about the commission that I sent you?”
The hairs on the back of Alfie’s neck stood up, even though logically there was no reason for them to. It was just a job offer, and a stunning one at that.
“Yes, sir,” he said taking the offered seat.
Parker leaned back in his large, leather chair and crossed one ankle over his leg. “And?”
One word should not have inspired such conflict in him. It felt like the moment he’d been dreading had come, though. It was the moment he’d have to make a decision, the moment the trajectory of his entire life could change.
“And it’s a very generous offer,” he said.
Parker smiled. “You’re worth it, Spears. Your work here in the office has been exemplary, but your record in Afghanistan speaks for itself. You weren’t decorated by accident, you know, and people above me have noticed. The long and the short of it is that we don’t want to let you go, Spears. Bigger people than me believe you have a future in the RAF waiting for you.”
“Thank you, sir,” Alfie said. He managed a tight smile, but shifted uncomfortably. Praise from a superior was flattering, but it also came with a lot of pressure.
“So what do you say?” Parker asked. “Is it Cyprus and a few extra bars on your shoulder?”
Alfie opened his mouth, but no response came out. The commission was the obvious choice. It would bring purpose, respect, and money with it. His parents would have been proud.
But the memory of the Afghani girl, the way it had felt to carry her to safety, was stuck in his heart. More surprisingly, the image of Blaine’s grinning face, not to mention his gorgeous body and the way it had looked laid out under him, came to his mind.
Accepting the post in Cyprus would take him away from Blaine at the very moment when things were starting to go somewhere between the two of them.
But it had only been a week. Could he really pass up the offer of a lifetime for a guy he’d met a week ago, no matter how hot the chemistry was between them?
“I still haven’t decided, sir,” he said at last.
Parker looked surprised. “Really? I would have thought the choice was obvious.”
“It probably should be,” Alfie admitted, tapping his fingers on the arm of his chair. “It’s just that….”
He stopped. It really wasn’t any of Parker’s business what sort of emotions were pulling at him as he tried to make the decision.
“Do you have another, civilian offer?” Parker asked, genuine curiosity in his expression.
Alfie winced. “Not really, sir,” he said. Which was part of the problem.
“Then why not take the commission?” Parker asked with confusion, reflecting Alfie’s same thoughts.
Again, Alfie squirmed. “I need more time to think about it, sir, if that’s alright.”
Parker let out a breath and relaxed. “I can give you the weekend, but the wheels need to be set in motion to reverse your transition and to instigate this commission soon.”
“Understood, sir.”
“Good,” Parker said with a nod, sitting forward again. “Now tell me how the Christmas party for our toy drive is coming along.”
“It’s coming along well,” Alfie said, a feeling of warmth and excitement spilling through him as he spoke. “The Hawthornes have been wonderful and accommodating. The dining hall where the party is to be held tonight looks amazing. I think the kids will love it.” He smiled at that thought.
Parker smiled as well, but there was something incisive in his eyes as he did that made Alfie feel he was on the spot.
He shared a few more details about the party arrangements and the timing of when the children who would be the recipients of the toys were set to arrive at Hawthorne House. Parker let Alfie know that a few members of the military press would be there to cover the event. Alfie was happy to know the work he had done would be shared with a wider audience.
As soon as the meeting was done, he headed back to his desk. Requisition forms and the tail end of old projects didn’t hold his interest, though. He couldn’t start anything new when he was leaving so soon, so he left the office early. He had an important errand to run and just enough time to get into London and out again.
Once the errand was done, he headed home to change for the night and then made his way over to Hawthorne House early. It felt a bit cheeky, but he packed an overnight bag as well, just in case he managed to get lucky with a certain loud, flamboyant Hawthorne who he felt more and more protective of.
He approached Hawthorne House’s front door with a bag over one shoulder and a relatively large, flat box wrapped exquisitely under his other arm. His insides bounced and twisted with each step that brought him closer to Blaine. It felt like he was bringing an offering to a temple and moving in.
He shouldn’t have been at all surprised that the drama started as soon as he set foot in the halls of Hawthorne House.
“Thank God you’re here,” Early said, stepping out of the office to greet Alfie the second he was through the door. They were dressed for the party, wearing a sparkly gown with a military-style jacket and high-heeled boots. “Blaine is about to lose it.”
Despite the seriousness in Early’s expression, Alfie grinned. “I’m on it,” he said, starting for the hallway that would take him to the dining hall. “Any chance you could take these up to Blaine’s flat for me?” he asked cheekily, handing his bag and the large gift box to Early.
“Absolutely,” Early said with a sly look.
As soon as the bag and box were handed off, Alfie tugged at the hem of his uniform jacket, then marched on, down the hall and into the dining hall.
He saw the problem right away. Several of the decorations that they had planned and set up over the last couple of days had either fallen down or been taken down. Blaine was rushing around in the middle of the mess, wearing a red, glittery shirt with two male cardinals in sequins on the back and tight-fitting black trousers with a sheen to them, alternately giving orders to his brother and his cousin Rebecca.
“The whole thing will have to go,” he said. “It isn’t good enough. I don’t know what I was thinking in the first place.”
“Blaine, it looks fine,” Rebecca said in exasperation. “We can just put it back up again, maybe with stronger hooks this time.”
“No, no,” Blaine said, gathering up armfuls of garlands. “It’s the wrong vibe for a children’s party. We need more color.”
“You have six rainbow-colored trees,” Baxter pointed out.
“They’re not good enough,” Blaine insisted.
He fussed and fluttered so much that he didn’t notice as Alfie walked up to him. When Alfie rested a hand on his shoulder, Blaine nearly jumped out of his skin.
“Alfie!” he shouted, spinning to stare at Alfie in terror.
“It’s fine,” Alfie seconded what Rebecca had said. “Let’s put the decorations back up.”
“They fell down,” Blaine said, fumbling the garlands he’d gathered up while trying to walk over to one of the tables. “I should have known not to put so many ribbons and baubles on them. Some of those Harrod’s baubles broke and smashed. I wasted all that money because I was trying to be more than I should be.”
Alfie saw the red flag and moved in to mitigate the damage.
“You’re a brilliant designer, Blaine,” he said, unwinding some of the garland that Blaine had wrapped around his shoulders. “You’ve got an amazing eye for beauty. Trust yourself.”
“But I don’t!” Blaine hissed, panicking. “I don’t trust anything right now. I’ve made a mess of this, I burnt someone’s house down, I drove a business into the ground, and Dave keeps trying to call and contact me!”
Alfie sucked in a breath. That was the problem, not the Christmas decorations. The mess Blaine had made of his business was catching up to him.
“Blaine,” he said, setting the garland aside and resting his hands on Blaine’s shoulders. “What happened was an?—”
“It was a disaster,” Blaine gasped, cutting him off. “And now I’m going to pay for it.”
Before Alfie could do anything to hold him still, Blaine shrugged away from him and bolted across the room. Alfie rocked forward, as if he would chase after him, but stopped himself at the last minute.
“Aren’t you going to go after him and calm him down?” Bax asked, his expression more confused than accusatory.
Alfie shook his head and turned back to the table of decorations. “Give him a minute. Blaine processes through drama. Let’s just get these decorations back up, since people will start arriving to the party in less than an hour, and then I’ll go find him.”
Bax and Rebecca gaped at him.
“What are you, his boyfriend?” Rebecca asked, a smile growing on her face. “You seem to know him awfully well for someone he just met.”
Alfie sent her a sly look in return as he gathered up some garland and stepped toward the ladder a few feet away, by the part of the wall where the decorations had fallen from. “I work in logistics,” he told Rebecca as he stepped up to rehang the garland. “And I have experience managing potentially volatile situations.”
They were just words on the surface, but they gave Alfie an inner thrill. Leave it to him, a usually steady and straitlaced guy, to find himself attracted to an adorable trainwreck. Blaine needed managing, and the idea of being the one to keep him in line was an exciting one.
Far more exciting than a commission and posting in Cyprus.
Of course, the whole thing would have been easier if Blaine had stayed in one place instead of slipping away from Alfie for the next hour, like a schoolboy trying to avoid the headmaster.
“Do you want to sit down and have a talk?” he asked when he found Blaine in the kitchen, trying to help Leland, the house chef, prepare kid-friendly snacks for the evening. Really, Blaine was just getting in the way.
“No, I’m needed here,” Blaine said, avoiding Alfie’s eyes, like he was afraid he was in trouble.
“You’re really not,” Leland said in a flat voice, rolling his eyes at Alfie.
“Alright, then I need to make certain the entertainment is ready for the kids,” Blaine said, then scooted around Alfie and darted out of the room.
Alfie exchanged a knowing look with Leland.
“It means he likes you,” Leland said.
Alfie huffed a laugh. “I know.”
He left Leland and the kitchen staff to their work and returned to the dining hall. Instead of working on whatever entertainment had been arranged for the kids, Blaine was now helping the crew that had come to set up tables and chairs in one part of the room.
“Are you running from me or are you running from another problem?” Alfie asked as he reached the table where Blaine was trying to straighten the tablecloth. Instead of making the conversation into a confrontation, he started taking chairs from the dolly they’d been brought in on and arranging them around the table.
“Me? I’m not running from anything,” Blaine said without looking at him. “I’m just trying to get the decorations right. We have a whole box of specially made crackers around here somewhere.”
He finished with the tablecloth, then fidgeted as he glanced around looking for the box.
“And this has nothing to do with your business partner trying to get in touch with you?” Alfie said, shifting closer to Blaine as he continued to set chairs. He felt like some sort of wildlife tracker stalking his prey.
“Dave?” Blaine’s voice went up an octave at the suggestion. “No, why would I be worried about Dave? Is he here?” He jumped and looked around in a panic.
Alfie didn’t answer any of the questions. He needed more information.
“I’m just trying to make your toy drive party as amazing as it can be,” Blaine went on. “Oh, look! The kids are here!”
Sure enough, one of the groups of children from a local home had just arrived. They were more than twenty minutes early. Alfie noted a harried woman who looked to be in charge of them apologizing to Robert Hawthorne for their early arrival. Robert was gracious in welcoming them, though.
So was Blaine.
“Hi, kids!” he greeted them enthusiastically, arms extended. “Welcome to your party! Who wants to do a Christmas art project?”
Alfie finished the job he’d started with the chairs as Blaine led a dozen kids over to a long table at one end of the room that had been set up with crafts of every kind. The art table was a brilliant idea, as far as Alfie was concerned. It would keep the kids occupied until the party began and the food and presents were handed around, and it was something of an advertisement for the classes Hawthorne Community Arts Center taught.
“This looks fun,” he said, heading over to join the kids as soon as his job with the tables was done. “What are you making?”
“I’m making a Santa hat,” one of the girls said, proudly holding up the triangle of felt she was decorating with glitter and fabric paint.
“I’m painting a reindeer,” a slightly older boy said as he splotched paint across a small, flat canvas board.
“They look lovely,” Alfie complimented them both, slipping into the softer voice and friendlier demeanor he had when he was around kids. “And what are you doing?” he asked in that same voice, glancing across the table to Blaine.
“I’m supervising,” Blaine said, cheeks going pink. He was still trying to avoid looking directly at Alfie, which was a sure sign that he was in panic overload mode.
“And what are you drawing?” Alfie asked a teenage girl as he edged his way around the table. If he could get within touching distance of Blaine, he could grab hold of him and take him aside so they could sort things once and for all.
“I’m making an abstract, mixed media, holiday-inspired installation for the lobby of our home,” she said, full of confidence.
“Wow,” Blaine said, blinking at the amazing piece of art the girl had already accomplished. “You’ve got natural talent, and believe me, I would know.”
His interest in the girl’s project was just want Alfie needed to slip around the end of the table so that he could make his way closer to Blaine.
His effort to catch up was stalled as a tiny boy who couldn’t have been more than six stopped him with, “Can you do the paste for me?”
The pleading in his big, brown eyes melted Alfie’s heart, and he stopped his pursuit of Blaine to help the boy.
“Of course I can,” he said, taking the bottle of glue, which the boy had already managed to squeeze too hard and make a mess of, and dabbing it where the boy wanted it for the cardboard shapes he was pasting.
He took a moment to clean up the boy’s hands with a paper towel and some of the water on the table that was probably meant for cleaning brushes, then wiped the drips off the glue bottle. The boy beamed up at him as if he’d done an enormous service. Alfie smiled back at him and ruffled the boy’s hair once everything was cleaned. The adult volunteer from the children’s home sent him a grateful look as well.
The boy and volunteer weren’t the only ones looking at him with an awed, slightly dreamy smiles. Blaine had watched the whole thing, and he looked positively transported.
Which was exactly the moment of hesitation Alfie needed to step around the teenager with her fancy art installation so that he could subtly grab Blaine’s wrist.
“You and I need to talk,” he said in a low voice.
Blaine lost his dreamy look and shot straight back into his earlier panic when he realized Alfie had him. “I…I didn’t do it. I didn’t mean to do it. I can fix things. I’ll do better,” he said, blurting what felt like a lifetime of bottled-up baggage at Alfie before he realized it.
“We just need to talk,” Alfie said, leading him away from the table. He nodded to the volunteer at the table before steering Blaine toward one of the rainbow-colored Christmas trees off to the side. It was time they got to the bottom of everything Blaine was trying to avoid, and maybe spelled out exactly what they were to each other in the meantime.