Chapter 8 #2
I glanced at my brother and wished that I was more like him. Calm, cold, calculating. He was going to make it far in the family, where I was the complete opposite in everything. How could we be identical twins, but he got all the desirable attributes, and I was the fuck up?
“I do,” Liam said, running his hand through his hair.
“So how do we figure out who it is? We have a couple dozen people selling for us,” Myles asked. He sat down on the couch and looked at his phone, and I knew he was looking for a message from Ren. It was his new habit.
“I don’t think it’s one of our distributors,” Liam said, and the thumping in my chest was so loud that I would swear they could hear it. This was why Nash was blocking the door. Shit, I was trapped. Fuck. No, I just needed to stay cool.
“Ya think it’s one of us,” Myles asked, signaling with his finger to all of us.
“I’m going to give you all this chance to tell me the truth,” Nash said, not looking at anyone, his voice deadly low, and I gripped the arm of the chair harder.
“Are ya fuckin’ kiddin’?” Myles stood and looked around the room. “Are ya blamin’ me again?” He balled his hands into fists. “This is gettin’ old fast,” Myles growled, but Nash shook his head, stopping Myles in his tracks.
All heads turned in my direction, and I pushed up out of my chair, anger roaring to the surface.
“What the fuck? Why the hell would you think I’d be stealing from us?
I have money, lots of it. I don’t need to steal a few hundred in product,” I said, and Nash lifted an eyebrow at me, the muscle in his jaw twitching.
“I never said an amount,” Liam said.
“It was just a figure of speech,” I said, waving off the comment.
“You think my brother is stealing drugs?” Theo’s face twisted in confusion as his eyes bounced back and forth between me and Nash.
Nash turned and gave me the full weight of his glare. “Yeah, I do,” he said.
“Fuck you, Nash!” I marched across the room, pointing at him.
“I’ve been your friend for years and have done anything you asked.
This is how you repay me? You fucking accuse me of stealing from you?
” I poked him in the chest, and he looked at the spot where I touched him.
My brain registered that it might have been stupid a second before Nash grabbed me by my hoodie and spun me around as he slammed my back up against the wall.
“Get off of me, man,” I said, trying to pull out of his hold. “You have no proof that I’ve done anything.”
“Don’t I?” Nash snarled.
Beads of sweat broke out on my body. My hands were shaking, and I balled them into fists to cover up the trembling. He was trying to get me to admit it. I could see the accusation in his eyes, and I wasn’t going to let him bully me into a confession.
“No, you don’t, and I didn’t do shit,” I said. Nash glared at me. With a hard jerk, he pulled me away and then slammed me against the wall again. “Ah shit, what the fuck?”
Theo placed his hand on Nash’s shoulder. “Don’t you think we should find evidence before we blame my brother for stealing?”
“What the fuck, ya think I did it?” Myles turned on Theo. Guilt burned in my gut, but I couldn’t bring myself to open my mouth.
“No, I think we need to look at all the possibilities. From how much we received all the way to those selling for us.”
Even though Theo was defending me, I rolled my eyes. He was always the diplomat and the person who knew what to say to appease everyone. It shouldn’t annoy the hell out of me that he was defending me better than I could, but it did.
“I already know the truth. Look at his eyes,” Nash said as he glared. I looked away from him but came face to face with my brother and Myles. I opted to look down instead.
“Is this true,” Theo asked, grabbing my chin. I jerked away, but he gripped my face hard enough that I winced and looked at him. “Blake?” Turning away, I shook my head.
I pushed at Nash, but he had such a hard hold on me that it didn’t do anything useful.
“I’ve done nothing wrong,” I said, sticking to my story.
“Then why won’t you look at me,” Theo asked.
“Because I don’t feel like being judged by any of you assholes. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?” I didn’t think Nash could look angrier, but his face darkened, and I swallowed hard.
“Own it, and I might be able to forgive you,” Nash said. “Keep denying it, and I….”
“You’ll what? Kill me? Beat me? Go ahead, do your worst,” I said, opening my arms wide. Yanking me away from the wall, he pushed me into the center of the room, and if it was possible, I felt more trapped by the four sets of eyes trained on me. “Let me out.”
“Is that your final answer,” Nash asked.
I stubbornly kept my mouth shut. “Fine.” He nodded toward Liam, and I watched in horror as Liam stood and pulled the Lamborghini picture off the wall, revealing a camera.
He held up the picture, showing a hole right in the middle of the shiny black hubcap.
Liam sat the photo down and pulled out his phone.
No, no, no, this was not happening. Terror joined the anger, and the shaking spread throughout my body.
“Please don’t,” I said softly.
“You had your chance to own it, Blake,” Nash said. Liam pulled up an app and turned it around to show Theo and Myles the video. I couldn’t watch it and looked away, but Nash grabbed me again and pointed at the phone. “Watch it! I should kill you for lying to me,” he growled.
Mortified, I couldn’t meet his glare. “Then do it,” I said, dejected.
Nash pushed me back, and I fell into the chair I’d occupied earlier.
“Fuck you. I can’t believe you’d do this and not just steal it, like that wasn’t bad enough, but you’re fucking using it.
Don’t even bother denying it. I’ve been trying to figure out for weeks what was different about you.
” He shook his head. “Were you using at the championships? Is that why that fuckface knew what to say to get our medals taken?”
“No. I always stopped taking it so I wouldn’t test positive.”
Nash tossed his hands up in the air. “Oh well, I guess it’s all good then. We’re supposed to sell the shit, not get addicted to it. What the fuck are you thinking?”
“Nothing,” I said, crossing my arms and staring at anything other than one of the guys. I could feel myself unraveling, and I didn’t want to have a panic attack in front of them.
“Fuck you! Don’t give me that shit,” Nash yelled, his face dark with rage.
“Blake, answer the question,” Theo said, and I lifted my glare to my brother. My perfect fucking brother.
“Shut up, Theo,” I yelled, and his eyes grew wide. We never yelled at one another, and I ignored the hurt staring back at me. “You’re part of the reason I started taking this shit in the first place, so just shut the fuck up.”
“Me? What did I do.” Theo took a step in my direction.
“Hey!” I yelled as Nash grabbed my jacket off the chair. He dug around in my pockets and pulled out the two baggies I had stashed in there.
He held them up between his fingers. “You’re out,” he said, and those words should’ve made me happy, but instead, it was like he’d stabbed me through the heart.
I’d lost count of how many times I thought about leaving The Last Rank, leaving the family, and leaving the mafia behind.
I would rather do anything else than have to deal with Lawrence when I turned eighteen and whatever fucked up shit he had planned.
It wouldn’t just be that one night. Nash had been to enough meetings, and I’d learned the signs, knowing when he had to do something that ate at him.
But Nash, Theo, Myles, and Liam were my brothers, my sanity and my refuge.
They were also a constant reminder that it didn’t matter how old we were we lived in a dark world.
Yet, I didn’t know what I would do without them.
The lost feeling I’d been suffering with ripped open wider until I couldn’t even see the other side of the chasm, and there was only darkness below. I sucked in a breath, and my chest hurt as the fear I’d been suppressing roared to the surface.
“What?” We all said together.
“You heard me. Not only are you stealing drugs and using them, which I wouldn’t tolerate on my best day, but you stood here, looked me in the eyes, and lied to me.
You’re out. I can’t trust you, and if I can’t trust you, then you’re out, or I kill you.
Considering the repercussions of that decision, you should consider yourself lucky that I respect and admire your brother, or I’d be burying your body tonight. ”
“You can’t be serious.” My heart fluttered, the panic worsening with every passing second. I gripped at my chest like he’d severed a bond between us. There was no wavering in his glare. “Don’t do this.”
“Come on man, I know he fucked up, but there’s gotta be somethin’ else we can do,” Myles said.
“No.” Nash dug around in my pocket again, pulled out my car keys, and tossed them to Myles before throwing the jacket at my head. “You won’t drive high when I know about it. Get the fuck out. And, if I see you on the property again, I will shoot you.”
I looked around the room. I didn’t know what I expected from the others. We were all bound to Nash as our leader, and what he said was law, and yet it hurt that there wasn’t more of an argument.
“You’re not going to tell Mom, are you,” I asked, and hated how pathetic that sounded, but disappointing her was almost worse than Nash.
Theo crossed his arms. “We’ll talk about it later. This isn’t the time.” Fuck, I hated that he sounded like Dad.
“I was loyal, and I worked hard,” I said, but Nash wheeled on me.
“You’re also a thief and a liar. Six months, Blake.
This isn’t a one-time deal. For six months, you’ve been stealing, using, driving us around, competing with us, traveling with us all with this on you or in you.
None of us knew, and you knowingly put all our lives at risk.
You want me to forgive you? You won’t even say why you started taking it.
Until you’re willing to be fucking straight with me, you’re not wanted or needed. Myles, get him out of here.”
Nash turned, showing me his back, signaling that he wasn’t talking anymore. My world disintegrated under my feet, the earth shifted like quicksand, and it was a trap of my own making.