Chapter 16 Definitely Not A Virgin #3
She keeps moving like that, slow but sure, grounding me even as she wrecks me. Little sounds slip out of her, soft curses, my name in a tone I’ve never heard before.
“Theo,” she gasps, fingers tightening on mine. “Don’t you dare come yet."
“I am trying so hard not to,” I grit out. “You have no idea.”
“Focus.” She leans down, kissing me slow and deep, swallowing the noises that keep threatening to escape. “Think about spreadsheets or something.”
“I can’t even spell right now.”
She laughs, the sound low and breathless, and the vibration of it goes straight through me.
Time blurs. Her rhythm stays steady, dragging me closer and closer to the edge without letting me fall. I feel muscles tense under my hands, feel her body work for it, and the fact that she’s doing this—driving herself there on me, with me—hits harder than anything.
“I’m close.” Her words brush my mouth, barely more than a breath.
“Okay.” I whisper, the word coming out on a rough exhale. “Tell me what you need.”
“Just…” Her voice hitches, and her grip tightens like she’s bracing herself through it. “Stay with me. Don’t let go. Not yet.”
I hang on like my life depends on it, every sense zeroed in on her. The way her breathing stutters. The way her nails bite into the back of my hands. The way her moves get a little less smooth, a little more desperate, chasing it.
“Raine,” I groan, fighting for air. “I’m—I can’t—”
“Just a little more.” She drags the words out on a shaky breath. “Right there. Don’t you let go, Theo. I want you to feel me when I come on your dick.”
My vision actually spots as she tips over first. It’s not loud or dramatic, more a shudder that ripples through her, a strangled sound pressed into my mouth, her body clenching around me, dragging my own release out of me before I can fight it.
I fall with her, helplessly. Heat detonates low in my spine, exploding outward, making the world go white for a second. My hands clamp tighter on her hips, holding on just like she told me to, riding it out with her until everything slowly, ever so slowly, loosens.
When it’s over, my muscles give up. I slump back against the pillows, heaving like I ran a marathon. She collapses forward against me, dropping her forehead to my shoulder, her hot breath hitting my neck. For a while, neither of us moves.
“Holy shit.” It takes me a second to find the words, and when they finally come, my voice is rough and breathless.
She huffs a laugh into my skin, the sound warm and satisfied. “Yeah.”
“Did I…” I swallow, still trying to catch up. “Was that… okay?”
She lifts her head to look at me, hair mussed, lips swollen, eyes softer than I’ve ever seen them.
“Theo.” She says my name the way you say someone’s name when they’re being especially dense, amused but fond. “You did great.”
Relief hits so fast it’s almost painful. “Okay. Good. Great.” I let out a breath that shakes. “Because I have absolutely zero frame of reference.”
Her smile turns small and real, soft in a way she doesn’t usually show. “You’re my frame of reference now.”
My heart does something unhelpful at that.
She shifts off me carefully, hissing a little at the movement, and flops onto her back beside me.
I immediately miss her weight, which is insane considering I’m still trying to remember how to breathe.
When I look down, I stare at the mess and wonder how I’m going to take this condom off without making a bigger mess.
You're a smart guy, you can figure this out.
Eventually, I do. I manage to take it off, tie it, and toss it into the small trash can she has by her bedside table.
I roll onto my side, propping myself on one elbow so I can see her better.
Her eyes are closed, but there’s a contentment around her mouth I’ve never seen before.
I want to remember it, to lock it away and keep it for myself forever.
“What?” She doesn’t even open her eyes when she asks, like she can feel me staring holes into her.
“Nothing.” I smile, keeping my gaze on her, stupidly soft. “Just… memorizing.”
She peeks one eye open suspiciously. “You’re not allowed to go all weird and apologetic about being a virgin now, by the way.”
“I’m not.” The denial comes out fast, then steadies as I take a breath. “I’m… actually really glad it was you.”
Something flickers across her face as she turns her head fully, eyes open and on mine now. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” I nod, not averting my gaze despite the overwhelming need to.
“I spent a lot of years thinking I was just… behind. Broken.” The words scrape on the way out, honest enough to make me hate them.
“Like I missed a memo everyone else got about how to do this stuff. Like I was always going to be the guy with the jokes and the ride home, not the one anyone actually wanted in their bed.”
“Hey.” She reaches over and pokes my chest, a small, grounding jab. “You are not broken.”
“I know that. Intellectually.” A breathy laugh slips out, more relief than humor. “Emotionally, I need occasional reminders.”
She snorts, still watching me. “You’re really cute, you know that?”
“I’m learning.” The grin comes easy now, wide and a little dazed, because for once I actually believe her.
We lie there in comfortable silence for a few minutes, the radio humming something low and steady in the other room. My arm ends up under her neck somehow, her head on my shoulder, our legs tangled. It feels stupidly natural. Dangerous, in a different way than sex.
“You know Jax is going to lose his mind when he finds out.” The thought hits her out of nowhere, and amusement curls through her voice before she can hide it.
I groan, already picturing the dramatics. “Please don’t tell him I gave you my virginity. He’ll never shut up about it.”
“Oh, I’m absolutely telling him.” She looks smug about it, like she’s already drafting the text in her head. “Not the details. Just the fact that we fucked.” She winks at me, her eyes glinting when she adds, “I want to see his face when he realizes you beat him to it.”
Petty satisfaction sparks in my chest immediately. “Okay, that part I support.”
“Thought so.” She smiles, the words coming out warm and pleased.
We lapse into quiet again as she traces idle shapes on my chest with one finger. Every line feels like another little tether tying me here, keeping me grounded here with her.
“This doesn’t make everything magically better.” Her voice drifts in eventually, quieter now that the joking’s worn off.
“I know.” I keep it simple, staying with her instead of trying to fix it. “Bash still exists. The debt’s still there. The world still sucks.”
“Yeah.” The agreement is small, so tired it pulls at my heart.
“But…” I shift just enough to catch her eyes again, making sure she hears the part that matters. “You’re not facing it alone anymore.”
Her exhale brushes warm against my skin, half a sigh, half content. “You really like saying that, huh?”
“Because it’s true.” The words come without hesitation, meaning every single one of them. I will not let her do this alone, not even if she sent me away again. No matter how proud she gets, how stubborn she stays, I will keep to her side like a starved leech.
She turns her face into my shoulder after that, hiding whatever expression she doesn’t want me to read. Her arm tightens around my waist, holding on as if she’s testing whether I’ll let her.
“Okay.” The word lands muffled against me. “Then don’t run when it gets ugly.”
“I’ve seen ugly.” I slide my hand along her back, firm and grounding. “I don’t run from it when someone I care about needs me.”
She doesn’t answer out loud, but the way she burrows closer says enough. I press a kiss to the top of her head, letting my eyes close, letting the weight of what just happened sink in.
I came here with cake and nerves. I’m leaving—as late as humanly possible—with something I never thought I’d have:
Raine in my arms.
And the fragile, terrifying hope that this is just the beginning.