CHAPTER FOUR
“So, how was your summer?” Thad asked later that night as they stood in the basement rec room at the O’Shea family home. He took a long drink of beer as much because he needed something to do with his hands as any need for alcohol.
“Uhh, good,” Graham said, his gaze landing on Thad’s face before darting away. The plastic water bottle in his hand crinkled a little.
He looked great but he’d seemed … odd all day. Skittish, almost.
Thad had thought the time apart would make the awkwardness between them go away, but apparently not.
“Lots of boating?” Thad asked. “You look very tan.”
He wasn’t going to admit he had spent way too much time looking at Graham’s social media this summer.
That he’d looked at the pictures of Graham and wanted.
All those shots of him lounging on the boat in swim trunks, tight abs on display, his skin getting darker and his hair getting blonder with every day.
Living the kind of life Thad could only dream of.
Thad was pretty sure he was back together with his ex. Which was fine, it wasn’t like Thad hadn’t hooked up with plenty of people this summer too.
“Yeah,” Graham said, fiddling with the label on his water bottle. “Lots of time on the boat. Training. All that good stuff.”
“You did the skills camp in Evanston, yeah? The one Anders Lindholm runs?”
“Yep.”
“How was it?”
“Great! Fucking challenging as hell but it felt amazing. It got me fired up for the upcoming season, you know?”
“Definitely,” Thad said.
A part of him wanted to grab Graham by the shoulders and shake him and tell him to stop acting like this. To stop being weird.
Because they’d never been this awkward together before. This stilted and fake.
The fakeness bothered Thad the most. Because he’d always hated the way his family put on a good face to pretend like everything was perfect when it very much wasn’t.
“What about you?” Graham asked. “How was your summer?”
“Not bad. I spent some time with my brother and Dakota.”
“Dakota’s great,” Graham replied.
“Yeah, he is.” Thad liked his brother’s new partner. Well, not so new now, he supposed. They’d been together for over eight months at this point. But he was a vast improvement over Gavin’s ex.
Thad had never liked Rory. Talk about fake.
“His Pilates training kicks my ass,” Graham continued.
Thad laughed. “Yeah, that’s what I hear.”
“It was good though. I felt like my core was more stable by the end of last season.”
Gavin had raved about that too when he and Thad got out on the ice together for the first time in years. They’d started skating together last winter, with a vague plan to reconnect by playing hockey.
With the two of them, it was mostly friendly messing around interspersed by competitive streaks as they tried to outdo each other, but eventually Finn and Pat O’Shea had joined them and it became a little more organized.
A little more like actually playing.
Thad always felt a few steps behind. He hadn’t seriously played hockey since he was eighteen, so he’d never had the professional development Gavin did, much less the experience of decades of playing the O’Sheas did.
Nor was Thad anywhere near as naturally talented.
But it had been nice to team up with his brother again, even if they got their asses handed to them regularly. And he’d joined a summer rec league.
He told Graham as much now.
“Oh nice. Sounds fun.”
“Yeah, you know. Nothing compared to what you do but it keeps me out of trouble,” Thad joked.
Graham shot him a sidelong glance.
“And as far as work, I did stuff for free agency, the draft, the combine … all that. We attended some events around Boston. There were lots of birthday posts to keep up on for all of you summer babies.”
For the first time all day, Thad caught a flash of the real Graham in his quick smile.
“Yeah, well, you know what they say about Cancers,” he said with a gleam in his eye.
“No. What?”
Graham shrugged. “I have no idea. I’m not into astrology.”
Thad laughed at his deadpan delivery. Okay, this was better. This was feeling more normal.
“So, what else did you do? You can’t have spent all summer doing stuff for the Harriers, hanging out with your brother, and playing rec league hockey.”
Thad wasn’t sure what Graham was talking about. After the monotony and boredom of prison, that felt like a hell of a lot to him. “I lined up some photography gigs,” Thad admitted.
“Yeah? What kind?” Graham took a drink of his water.
Thad’s gut tightened at the bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed. He really shouldn’t have let himself fantasize about what it would look like to watch Graham suck his dick.
“A little bit of everything. Mostly portraits though.”
“Yeah? I’m not surprised. You’re good at those,” Graham said.
“Thanks.” Thad glanced down, surprised by the flush of pleasure that went through him at the praise. In addition to his usual marketing duties, he’d begun taking some artsier shots of the players.
He’d never intended for them to be anything official for the team. They were him fucking around with a camera and seeing what came out.
But Tyson had spotted them on his computer last spring when Thad had been showing him some photos for a new campaign and been really enthusiastic about how good they were.
He’d suggested Thad add them to the usual themed social media posts.
They’d gone over well there and plenty of people had commented on how much they liked them.
But it was different hearing Graham say it.
“So were the photos you did like the ones you do of the team?” he asked.
“Yeah, somewhat. I did some freelance work at a few sporting events, some modeling headshots for comp cards, stuff like that.”
“Let me guess, you slept with all the hot models.” Graham rolled his eyes.
“No,” Thad snapped. “Actually, I didn’t.”
Graham looked taken aback. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“No.” Thad forced himself to take a deep breath and lower his shoulders.
“No, it’s … that would have been shitty of me to go after them.
It’s … it’s a weird power dynamic and while I’m not saying I’m the kind of photographer who could make or break their careers, there’s a lot of exploitative shit in that field and I don’t want them to think that’s normal or expected or any of that. ”
Graham’s expression softened. “No, that’s good of you.”
“It’s basic human decency is what it is,” Thad pointed out. “Besides, most of them were in their late teens or early twenties. I don’t sleep with people who are nearly two decades younger than me, even when they’re actually adults.”
“I’m twenty-six.”
“Mmm,” Thad said, surprised by the fact Graham sounded so defensive about it. “You are. But we’re not sleeping together either.”
Graham flushed. “Right. No, I know that. I just meant …”
Thad gritted his teeth together to keep from saying something he’d regret.
Something about how they could be. Because the truth was, while Thad hadn’t been a monk this summer, the hookups had lost a little bit of their luster.
And he had a sneaking suspicion he knew why.
Thad’s preferences had run to muscular blond men in the past few months, but it hadn’t exactly scratched the itch he had.
With Graham back, that wasn’t getting any better.
“Don’t you worry. I had my share of fun this summer anyway,” Thad said with a cocky look, holding Graham’s gaze. Because Graham did not need to know how much he was getting under Thad’s skin.
“Yeah, I bet you did.” Graham waggled his empty water bottle. “Hey, uh, I need to grab something. I’ll catch you later, okay?”
With that he was gone and Thad stared after him with a frown because he’d definitely fucked something up and he wasn’t entirely sure how to fix it.
Because he didn’t like the way they’d left their friendship at the end of the season and while he’d hoped the months between then and now would have smoothed that out, it clearly hadn’t.
Fuck. Maybe he needed to apologize for the shit that happened on the pub’s patio before they went their separate ways. He’d been kind of an ass to Graham.
“Hey.” Someone bumped shoulders with Thad, and he glanced over to see his twin brother. “So it looks like you and Graham are still buddies, huh?”
“What?” Thad asked.
“You guys are friends, aren’t you?” Gavin slid his hands into his trouser pockets and lifted his eyebrows. “Or did I misunderstand?”
“Uhh, yeah, I suppose,” Thad said warily. “Why?”
Gavin shrugged. “It’s nice. I like Graham. He’s very solid, responsible—”
“Unlike me?” Thad snapped.
Gavin blinked, holding up his hands. “Woah. I never said that.”
Thad sighed. “I know. Sorry. I …”
“We’ve never been great at not pushing each other’s buttons,” Gavin finished drily.
“Right.”
It was true though. Somehow, they always assumed the worst about each other. They’d made a lot of progress since last Christmas, but they still had a long way to go.
“Anyway, I wasn’t trying to get a dig in, I swear it. I’m excited about our leadership for the team. Connor, Graham, and Mickey are very solid.”
Thad rubbed the back of his neck. “Absolutely. And I’m, uh, sorry if I leaped to conclusions there.”
Gavin waved it off. “It’s fine. We both have work to do.”
“So what do you think the team’s chances are?” Thad asked because they could talk endlessly about that without Thad accidentally putting his fucking foot in his mouth.
Gavin lit up. “Good. A lot better than last season. We’ll need to hit it hard at the beginning of the season, but I think if we can keep Tanner from infecting the team with whatever plague he brings home next, I think we have a shot.”
Gavin nodded toward the curly-haired defenseman who was talking animatedly to Jesse Webber about something, gesturing with his hands.
Even from this distance, the goaltender looked amused.
Thad smiled too because he liked Tanner. He was such a little shit-stirrer.
Gavin would probably tell Thad it takes one to know one. That was undoubtedly true in real life, although Thad had never been a pest like Tanner when he was playing hockey growing up.
No, he’d been serious. Dedicated to the game. Intent on scoring goals.
He’d never been the natural talent Gavin was. He’d had to bust his ass twice as hard to keep up with Gavin and their teammates.
Though, lately, he’d gained a little bit of a reputation as a chirper in the rec league. He was quicker mentally than most guys and knew how to rile them up.
Or calm them down.
It’s amazing what one learns in prison, he thought with a wry smile to himself as he saw Graham across the room, talking to Connor about something, still clutching his mangled water bottle.
Thad sighed.
If only he’d learned how to deal with having feelings for someone.